


Outsider among the Inquisition

by WhiskersOnKittens



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Romance, Demons, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flirting, Friendship, Heartbreak, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Love, Love Triangles, Romance, Slow Build, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2018-04-27 02:21:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 180,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5029957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiskersOnKittens/pseuds/WhiskersOnKittens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raven O'Hara was trained for almost anything. On her way back home from California the last thing she expected was to be ran off a mountain road and to wake up in Thedas only to be captured by the Inquisition under suspicion of being a spy.<br/>With no idea how she ended up in one of her favorite video games and with no idea how to get back Raven must struggle to gain and maintain friendship and trust in order to help keep the characters she's always loved alive, despite there being a few bumps and a rather unusual romance along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "Where are we again?"

_Cold and wet. Why was it so cold and wet?_

Raven stirred and clenched her jaw to suppress a shiver. She hurt everywhere and knowing that she'd been in an accident she did her best to stay calm and focused. Years of training had taught her to assess everything and take in the facts instead of rushing to accusations. Her head was throbbing but with a slow, deep breath she performed a quick assessment on the rest of her body. Her wrist hurt and upon moving it she winced but sighed in relief; it wasn't broken but would need to be splinted and her fingers were cold, not numb, and hurt to move. There was a small warm weight on her stomach, most likely her cat since Zevran hated the cold almost more than anything else on the planet. She was lying on her back, arms spread out and the sweatshirt she was wearing barely helped the cold from seeping in and assaulting her skin.

Why was it cold anyway, Raven thought to herself. California wasn't cold and the state itself had been going through a drought for the last five months. Was she dead? She vaguely recalled some jerk in a white car speeding up past her and cutting her off, causing her to slam on her breaks and skid to the point where she knew she drove off the cliff. There was no way she could have survived. That cliff had been over three hundred feet high.

With a final sigh she opened her eyes only to quickly shut them again. It was bright and green. Raven groaned as she brought her injured wrist up to cradle her cat and used the other one to help herself sit up. Opening her eyes a second time she squinted at the stark white surrounding her, letting them adjust before she ground out a small string of curses when she realized that what she had been laying in and what was all around her was snow. Fucking snow. She looked down at her cat and saw that he was looking up at her with a curious expression.

"I blame this on you." She said in a low voice though she really didn’t mean it. "Should we try to find some place warmer?" Of course he didn’t reply but made no move to get away as she awkwardly found a way to stand with Zevran still in her arm. Her entire back was cold and completely soaked and her hands continued to hurt, almost tingle, as she did her best to brush the remaining snow from her pants. Looking around she saw trees; A lot of trees and a lot of rocks. Her car was nowhere to be seen but she easily spotted her two large, multi colored bags in the snow; One next to a tree about ten feet away and the other about five feet from the first. She was starting to feel a little less at ease now and had to work to keep her breathing and body in check. There had to be a reason why her car was nowhere to be seen. Still, she slowly made her way over to her bags thanking a higher power that she'd decided to wear her boots instead of the flip flops she wanted to.

"Hold it right there." A deep voice commanded, startling Raven as she was bent down to reach her first bag. She put Zevran down on her large bag and straightened to see two men standing about ten feet from her with daggers drawn. They were wearing the same thing, a green hood with what Raven could only guess was tan leather armor which she'd only seen during the LARPing events she went to every few months. Was there one going on near by? They looked scared and angry, like she wasn't supposed to be there.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted your event. I'll grab my things and head to the nearest town." They watched her and Raven started to bend down to pick up her bag again before stopping, "Would either of you happen to have seen a car near here, a black impala with red leather interior?" One of the men looked to the other with an expression Raven could only describe as 'Is this chick fucking crazy?'

Henry didn't return his fellow agents expression. His eyes never left the girl standing in front of them in strange clothes. Her height made him think 'dwarf' but her small size made him think 'human' or even 'elf', but he couldn't see her ears. Her hair was wet and she was trying not to shiver. He could see blood on her face and turning her red hair a shade darker. Her cheeks and nose were red from the cold but no matter how small she was he knew better than to trust her. What was a… car anyway?

"You're going to have to come with us Miss. This is Inquisition territory." He explained and saw her visibly stiffen. Inquisition territory, Raven questioned but remained silent. She stood up straight again and her hand discreetly moved to the knife in her back pocket. She understood method acting during events but to continue with the act made her question his sanity.

"Look guy," She said, her tone dropping to one more menacing. Her fingers were gripped around her knife handle. "Either you cut the act and explain what's going on here or you leave and go back to your little event."

Neither he or the other man said anything and maybe it was the fact that the pain in her head suddenly multiplied and caused her knees to almost buckle which made her look away but she suddenly heard the crunching sound of boots in the snow as one rushed towards her. Not taking any chances she clenched her jaw, pulled out her knife, and flicked the blade free just in time to deflect the hand of the man she hadn't spoken to. His eyes widened and Raven could tell he wasn't expecting her to respond the way she had. Not wasting time she used his surprise to her advantage by moving away, repositioning her stance as well as the blade in her hand. Despite the orders to stop from his partner the man charged at her again. She dodged his attack and as he fell past her she grabbed his arm and used his own weight against him to throw him into his stomach in the snow. He cried out in pain as she bent his arm to an immobilizing position.

"I'm really not in the mood for this shit," She told the man still standing, "My head hurts, I have no idea where I am, and I'm really cold so please tell me where the next town is, control your friend before he gets hurt, and let me go on my way." The man standing remained silent and the man underneath her continued to grunt and curse at her as she kept his arm bent back for leverage. Before he could respond to her a searing pain spread through her lower right leg causing her to knees to buckle and for her to fall forward. She cried out a string of curses and the man below her struggled to get away. She bent his arm back even more and in her pain filled haze she smiled, feeling satisfied as she heard and felt a sickening crack and shrill scream as his shoulder was forced from its socket.

"We didn’t want to have to hurt you!" The man yelled, "But you gave us no choice. You're coming with us." Raven heard crunching in the snow from multiple pairs of boots behind her and her stomach sank. Looking down at her leg she saw a gash in the leggings she wore and her blood pooling onto the white snow below her. Her stomach dropped and she did her best to stand up. The man she was sitting on scrambled to get away, his left arm useless as he did so. Raven did her best to stand and failed. She grunted as she fell to her knees in the snow. Looking at the man in front of her she made the clear motion of closing her knife and dropping it to her side.

"If I'm to go with you then can you please grab my knife, bags, and cat? He hates the snow." She spoke loud enough for him to hear. "You can check me, I have no other weapons." Raven had to fight the urge to elbow the person who was suddenly behind her, pulling her up. She wasn’t used to being touched by people she didn't know but he made no move to check her body the way police and authorized officials did for weapons. Instead he roughly grabbed her arms and in a swift motion, even for her, tied her hands behind her back. The man she had been speaking to made his way forward and carefully bent down to grab her black and purple knife, looking at it as if almost in awe before putting it in the bag on his hip. She then watched as he moved over to her bags and her cat that still had yet to leave her bag and gather them up before looking at her again.

He knew she was still capable of fighting despite the condition she was in, he saw it in her eyes. It was also how he knew that if she wanted Deeks dead he would be. Jax's arrow had cut her deep and she was still bleeding but managed to stand once Jax had helped her into the position. The wind started to pick up and he watched as her long hair blew into her face. Deeks was still cursing at her as they continued without a word toward Haven. It was a two mile journey and halfway through, whether it was because of her head that she claimed had hurt or the blood loss from her leg, she'd passed out.

 

It was cold and dark as Raven woke, her body jerking forward and the sudden deep breath she took caused her to cough. She heard talking not far away but in her fuzzy state she couldn't make out the words but braced herself when a woman in robes rushed toward her. She had to be freezing, Raven thought.

"You shouldn't be up so soon," She had said and bent down to put a cold hand on Raven's forehead. "You lost a lot of blood and the potion we've given you has yet to take full effect." Potion? Raven's head was spinning and she had to fight the urge to jump up and manually purge whatever had been put into her stomach as she was unconscious but her tied hands didn't allow it. Instead of being tied together they were tied to what she was resting on, strapping and keeping her down. She noticed the pain in her head was gone and the searing pain from her legs had been reduced to a dull throb.

"Where am I?" Raven asked the girl, "Where's my cat?" The woman's eyes widened and she brushed some of the blond hair that had fallen into her face during her rush over behind her ear.

"You're in Haven, safe. My name is Melissa and I'm one of the healers." She explained and then continued before Raven could ask any questions. Healer? Haven?, "Your cat is in the Chantry. Our ambassador has become quite fond of him." Raven laid back down and closed her eyes, willing herself to wake up. The names and clothes were so familiar to her but her mind refused to cooperate in her search for answers.

Melissa watched the pale restrained woman stiffen at her words and, if possible, turn even paler. At first she'd been frightened to go near the girl after seeing the agents carrying her in, one's shoulder had been dislocated and the way they'd tied her to the cot did nothing to ease her nerves. She was surprised to find that now the woman was awake and speaking her fears had died down some.

"How long have I been asleep?" Raven asked quietly knowing Melissa, the healer, was still beside her.

"Mistress Nightingale's agents say you lost consciousness about a mile from camp. Maybe about two hours. May I know your name, Miss?" Raven opened her eyes and looked at the woman. Melissa was no longer looking at her but she could hear the trickles of water before Melissa brought a damped wet cloth to her face. "You still have blood on your face and in your hair." She explained and Raven tensed for a moment before relaxing as the soft cloth and warm water brushed against her forehead.

"Raven O'Hara." She told the blond woman quietly, "You said we were in Haven?" Melissa nodded and continued to wipe the now dried blood from Raven's pale skin.

"That is correct Ma'am. Once you're feeling better and the guard gets back the Herald of Andraste wants to see you." _Herald_? _Andraste_? Raven felt her heart start to race and stomach turn and her reaction didn’t go unnoticed by Melissa who had suddenly stood up ready to call out to someone in case she did something unexpected.

"What country are we in?" Raven asked and wasn't eager to find out the answer. Melissa visibly calmed and sat down again.

"Thedas, Miss." Melissa explained carefully, "Western Ferelden to be exact. In the Frostback Mountains." Upon answering that time Melissa didn't hesitate to call out for the head healer as the prisoner named Raven lost consciousness again.

 


	2. "Tevinter sucks."

"Herald, Your Worship, please listen to reason," A woman pleaded loudly, her harsh accented voice cutting through the fuzziness in Raven's mind. She remained still, her eyes closed as she listened, "you don't know what the prisoner is capable of. None of us do."

"Then we should at least find out." A man replied. His voice was much more relaxed than the woman he was speaking with.

"You read the reports! She took down and dislocated the shoulder of one of Leliana's agents. That strange knife she was carrying and not to mention those bags they gathered." The woman didn't go into detail of what was in the bags which Raven supposed could be a good thing; Either they had yet to go through them or they found nothing worth mentioning. Though it was probably the former since Raven knew something was obviously wrong. _Thedas_ the woman named Melissa had said. That couldn't be right. That was freaking Dragon Age, a game she'd played and completed more than a dozen times and had spent countless hours talking about over tea and lunch with her friends.

"Yes Cassandra, I read the reports and in them also stated that Deeks made the first move with his dagger in hand. You even heard the other agent speak to Leliana about it. Therefore I want to talk to her." Raven liked how the man was more logical than Cassandra. She highly doubted it was the same woman but in the game Cassandra was always rash and quick to judge.

"She could be a spy. All I'm saying is you shouldn't do it alone." She explained and Raven heard footsteps coming toward her. She had to restrain herself from opening her eyes and keeping her breathing in a slow, steady rhythm. There was a sigh from above her.

"Alright, when she wakes I'll have her escorted to the war room. I want Bull there as well." The man spoke and she knew it was he that had come closer to her. There was silence and Raven had no time to control her actions as she felt his fingers against her leg. Her eyes shot open and searched for his only to still when her eyes landed on him. With messy black hair, green eyes, and the stubble along his jaw she knew him. Raven's heart jumped into overtime and she tried to look away as he continued to look at her.

"And it seems like the prisoner is awake. I'll call for one of the guards." The woman said and she heard footsteps fade into the distance.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked once the woman named Cassandra was gone. "Melissa took great care of your head and leg. She said your name was Raven right?" He asked and smiled when she nodded.

"Raven O'Hara." She answered him and suddenly noticed that his hand was still on her leg. Despite how handsome he was she didn't like it. He seemed to notice when her eyes went to his arm then back to his face and he pulled his hand away with a quick apology.

"Before Cassandra comes back with the guard to escort you to the Chantry is there anything you want to tell me?" He asked. The silence that followed his question lingered and as Raven lay there still strapped to the cot, unmoving, he took the time to look her over. She was small and thin, her long hair was tangled and he had to give Melissa credit; Not only did she heal any injuries there were but also seemed to clean off the remaining blood. Her clothes were what raised question in his eyes as well as everyone who saw her. Black pants that were skintight but seemed to stretch, black boots unlike any fashion he had ever seen, what he could only imagine as a purple undershirt that was also skintight and only had lacey straps to hold it up exposing her collarbone, arms, and part of her back. A black cloth jacket had been removed when she'd been brought in and everyone, not only him, was astounded to see the colorful markings and tattoos that decorated her pale skin.

"I didn't attack that man." She finally answered and her voice brought his attention back to her green eyes. "I wanted to leave, to find out how I'd gotten where I had. Two of them showed up as I was getting my bags and wanted me to go with them. I refused and one attacked. His moves were easy to go around and I grabbed his arm to keep him from attacking me again. It only dislocated when I fell, after another man shot me although I'd be lying if I said it didn't give some sick satisfaction after he'd attacked me." Raven explained. She didn't want to talk but knew it would be in her best interest for whatever came next. Her eyes never left the man that was called the 'Herald of Andraste' though she still didn't believe the title. It was best to play along in case. He looked as if he were about to speak when a man wearing plate armor came in and announced himself. They were all quiet as he came forward, respectively brushing past the man she'd been talking to, to cut the ropes holding her to the bed. They waited for her to stand, the man had to stop the soldier from drawing his sword as she stood, raised her arms while noticing her wrist didn't hurt anymore as well, and proceeded to stretch out her still sore muscles. Her neck, shoulders, and back cracked and she'd honestly felt better by the time she was done. The humor in the 'Herald's' eyes didn't go unnoticed and she had to give him a small smile. Thankfully her arms weren't tied behind her back again. Instead he bound them in front of her in a tie she easily knew how to get out of. Poor bastard, she thought and with them both behind her, watching her every move, she left the building only to be greeted by another soldier. He insisted that she follow him but once her eyes took in their surroundings she had to stop.

_There was no way_ , Raven thought, _No fucking way._

It was Haven. Bigger with more houses and people but it was Haven without a doubt. She looked around and saw the top of the Chantry building, heard the distant sound of metal clanging together, talking, shouting, and could smell horses and the blacksmith forge. The sky was green and she could see the giant tear. Her stomach started to turn in an unpleasant way; Forget reenactments, it had to be a dream. Why wouldn't she wake up? It was cold and she could feel goosebumps break out on her skin. Someone touched her shoulders and she spun around to come in contact with a chest covered in cloth robes. Looking up she saw the Herald looking down at her surprised.

"Your coat," He said suddenly, "The thing you were wearing. You seemed cold so I put it over your shoulders." Raven stared up at him and after a few seconds mumbled a thank you before turning around again. The other guard in plate guided her along the snow covered path to the Chantry and Raven had to stop and stare again. It was big, much bigger than she imagined it being. She continued on when she felt the strange looks from those around her.

It was warm in the Chantry and much darker than she'd always pictured. Raven observed the laid stone work and the candles as she was guided to the war room. She passed the woman she knew to be Mother Giselle and was shocked when the woman smiled and nodded at her.

Entering the rather large room at the end of the hall she was greeted by Cassandra, a woman looking exactly like she did in the game she knew so well down to the very scar on her face. The Iron Bull was against the wall towards the back, the gaze with his remaining eye almost as menacing as his height, size, and horns. Hell, he was down right terrifying and Raven was quick to look away from him. The advisors were there as well; Leliana with her red hair showing from her dark hood, Cullen with his wavy blond hair and furry cloak, and Josephine looking absolutely beautiful with her golden ruffles. They stood on the other side of the table that displayed maps of Ferelden and Orlais. She could see markers as she was seated in a wooden chair across from them. The 'Herald' took his place next to Josephine and she heard the door clothes. The soldiers must have been staying as well. She caught sight of her two bags on the floor beside Cullen's feet.

They were silent as they looked at the young woman seated across from them. Leliana took note of her long hair and the tattoos on her skin wondering who had done them and if any provided information on her origin. Her height was what astounded Cullen; It wouldn't have been the first time he'd seen someone so small manage to get the upper hand on someone twice their size but that was mostly from his past with Mages. Josephine looked into the girls eyes; such curiosity. All were surprised when she looked toward Leliana.

"I apologize for hurting one of your agents." She spoke and although she did her best to appear strong she was nearly petrified. The spymaster continued to stare at her. "I didn't attack him. I tried to leave and they wouldn't let me. I meant no harm."

"What is your name?" The other redhead finally asked, moving around the war table and closer to the girl.

"Raven Alexander O'Hara." Raven answered.

"Your middle name is Alexander?" Cassandra suddenly asked. Raven looked over to the woman and nodded.

"I was the only child my mother could have and she wanted to honor her own father, my grandfather." She explained and earned a nod from the woman. Her eyes moved to Leliana again who was now mere feet from her. Standing tall but she noticed her hand on one of the daggers she kept.

"Where are you from?" Leliana asked. Raven was silent; how could she possibly answer that without sounding insane. If everything around her was real she knew they wouldn't believe her. Unfortunately Cassandra took her silence the worst.

"She must be a spy!" The woman exclaimed, "She could be a spy from Tevinter." The disgusted sound from Raven at Cassandra's words made them all focus on her again instead of the Seeker. _I'm gonna be so dead for this,_ Raven thought. There was no way she would get out alive if she kept silent.

"Tevinter sucks. Why would I and how could I possibly work for them?" She asked earning a loud snort from Iron Bull as he chuckled and a smirk from Cullen, Josephine, and the Herald. Even Leliana made an amused face. Cassandra didn’t find it, at all, funny.

"You know of Tevinter?" It was Josephine that asked the question and Raven felt herself Shrug, her sweatshirt falling to the floor exposing more of her arms.

"I've never had any personal experiences with blood Mages but Slavery kind of rubs me the wrong way." She answered, "Thank you for taking care of my cat. The healer that tended to me said you were the one watching him." It never hurt to be kind and Raven watched as Josephine smiled, looking almost flustered.

"He's a very sweet cat." She answered and Raven nodded in agreement.

"So if you're not going to tell us where you're from then why are you here?" Cullen asked. Raven knew she had to tell them before she lost all resolve. Her father's training had always told her that secrecy was best but the circumstances were different. The men and women in the room made no move to hurt her, if they wanted to they could've already. Leliana with her daggers or the bow and quiver of arrows on her back, Iron Bull with anything, Cullen or the soldiers behind her with their swords, or even the Herald with his staff. He was a Mage. Just like she'd created him to be. Thought she created anyway.

"I was in an accident in some place completely different from here. If you need proof there's a small green pouch in the mostly blue and gray bag. In there is my identification cards, our currency, even a library card." She explained as Cullen took the bag she'd mentioned, put it on the war table, and used the zipper to open it with a questioning look. _They didn't have zippers did they?_ When he'd pulled out her green wallet and she nodded when he'd shown her to verify he opened it and spilled out the contents to see. Inside Raven knew there to be her drivers license, state ID, Military ID, Library card, a few business cards for the artists responsible for her tattoos, and pictures of her with her father and kittens, then another of her mother before she'd died. Leliana moved away from her and to the table where she grabbed one of the dollar bills and her drivers license.

"What are these?" She asked.

"The paper you have is our form of money. The other thing is my license showing who I am. My name, birthday, and address. It even has my picture." She explained. "I'm from a completely different place. I don't know how I got here. I was ran off the road by someone and fell from a cliff. The next thing I know I'm waking up in the snow with my cat on my stomach and my two bags ten feet away from me. I was picking up my bags to try and find some place I could get help when your agents approached me."

"You're lying!" Cassandra exclaimed, "These things mean nothing. You think we're supposed to believe you came from some other place we've never heard of and that you don't know how you got here?" Raven glared at the Seeker.

"Believe what you want. I'm telling the truth." She replied. "I'm not a spy, I mean no one harm. You think you're confused with my showing up out of the goddamn blue. I'm the one experiencing it."

"What else is in her bags?" Cassandra asked ignoring Raven's reply. She was searching for additional proof. Cullen looked at her before he started emptying her bag, messing up beautiful organization they'd once held. Ten minutes later the first bag was empty; Twelve shirts, four pairs of leggings, three pairs of jeans, five pairs of cotton pants, fifteen pairs of socks and underwear, six bras, a pair of pajama shorts, and her hygiene products. Raven explained what something was when they asked questions and thankfully Cullen laid everything out flat and piled it onto the table.

Her second bag, however, raised nothing but questions when the first thing Cullen pulled out was her cell phone, kindle, large pink headphones, a speaker, solar powered charger, and two cell phone batteries. From her wooden seat and hands bound Raven flinched at the sudden cacophony from Cassandra, Josephine, and Cullen. It took ten minutes for the noise to wane and with patience and careful words Raven did her best to explain the devices at hand. She explained the cell phone first, giving Leliana instructions on how to turn it on. Once they seemed satisfied there was nothing on the device it was shut off with Ravens instructions on how to do so and set in a separate pile. Next was the kindle and she explained that she loved to read and learn new things; Between philosophy and religion, crafts, learning different languages, and even the occasional romance. She explained the devices only ability is to contain the books she'd put on it so she could read them any time she wanted. That was also shut off and put in the same pile as the phone. Soon followed by the headphones, batteries, speaker, and power charger.

The photo album her best friend had given her as she left to return home was the next thing and Raven's chest felt heavy as pictures of her father, mother, friends, and animals were pulled out and she had to explain who each person was to her. She explained what a car was since it was in the background of one of the pictures. She let out a sigh of relief as Leliana took over with the album being careful to put the pictures back the way they were. Next were her notebooks and her pouch of pens. Cassandra took one of the notebooks and from the slight blush that appeared three pages in she knew which story she was reading. After two hours of going through her pictures and stories she knew they were even more confused. She was feeling vulnerable and wanted to leave because, little to their knowledge, in the hours they spent going through her things they knew more about her than some of her closest friends and family did back home.

"We're going to give the items in your second bag to one of our own for further examination." Leliana explained once the bags contents were put back. Raven nodded, her technology not extremely high on her priority list.

"What are you going to do with me?" She asked Leliana. The woman looked at her but didn’t speak. Silence always meant the worst and Raven looked down. She didn’t want to die, she still has so much she needed to do, to see, and to learn. Telling them what she really knew about their world was the last thing she wanted to do but maybe it would buy her time.

"Boss, if I may?" She didn’t look up. She didn't need to, to know it was Iron Bull who was speaking. He had been quiet the entire time, watching her as she spoke and answered all the questions they'd asked to the best of her ability. Nothing was said but she knew he was moving away from the wall and closer to her. Suddenly he was down to her line of sight and her eyes widened and with the force her body gave as she jerked back in surprise the chair almost fell backward. The sound a sword being unsheathed filled the room and with quick reflexes Iron Bull caught the chair and steadied the small girl before she could fall. He was so close to her that she was forced to look at him, terror in her eyes but her body was stilled now and bracing. She was strong and honest like he was and he would tell the Boss later of the respect she had earned from him for being such. In all his years in the Ben-Hassrath he knew a liar when he saw one and despite how far off her stories, explanations, and devices were she was being truthful. Most men would lie or say nothing at all which always earned hard results. Her green eyes didn’t follow him as he stood up straight, towering over her and looked towards the important people in the room and nodding with a small smile. It was Boss that spoke up, after all he had the final say whether any of them liked it or not. They watched in silence as he moved to the table and started putting her clothes back in her bag.

"You'll be watched for now and help where you can. In the morning you report to Cullen, Cassandra, or I and we'll instruct you." Raven's eyes shot up to the Harald's as he spoke, not believing what she heard. They weren't going to kill her? Her shoulders sagged in relief and she tried to stop the tears from forming in her eyes. She was being given a chance.

"You can't be serious! She could kill us!" Cassandra yelled and Raven flinched as the result, not sure if them not knowing all that she was capable of was the best choice. She would have to make it work though. Bull laughed.

"I'll be putting her in a tent near me and the Chargers. Between us and Cullen's soldiers I doubt she could do much." She looked at Iron Bull willingly for the first time to see that he was looking at her. He knew, she thought. He knew she was capable of more than she was letting on or else he'd place her inside the gate with the Harold and most of the civilians. Bull reached out and took her bag as one of the soldiers came from behind her and cut the ropes that were supposed to bind her hands. Bull saw that too, that it was tied incorrectly and she could've gotten free at any time. He waited for her once he reached the door and she wasted no time standing up, grabbing her cover from the ground and putting it on, and following him from the Chantry. It was still dark and the village was almost quiet with it's people asleep. They were quiet until they reached the gate and she seemed surprised when he stopped and turned to look at her. Fuck she was small. He loved her red hair though.

"He wouldn't have let you die." Bull said and she looked up at him. Her head cocked to the side as if she didn't understand what he was saying. "You did what you had to do with the guy who lunged at you but from what I can tell you don't hurt anyone unless you need to." Her eyes widened and she nodded, visibly relaxing.

"I don't like hurting people. My father says it's wise to know how to though." Raven replied and took her time assessing Iron Bull. He was so much bigger than she'd ever thought, standing at least two feet and some inches taller than her before his horns even began. She eyed the scars he wore with pride and admired the armor he was wearing. It almost looked like obsidian.

"Well that makes your father a very wise man." He replied and he watched her as she nodded and followed alongside him as readjusted her bag in his hand and showed her to her tent. He'd placed her within five paces of Stitches, Krem, and Dalish. Cullen's soldiers were seated about one hundred yards away. He didn't say a word as he gave her back her bag but stopped her as she entered the tent.

"Thank you for helping me. You say he wouldn’t have let me die but I know your opinion carries a lot of weight." She said before he could speak. Nice words and sentiments weren't his thing but he smiled down at her anyway and with a quick look around to see that no one was paying attention, he reached into his harness and pulled out her black and purple knife and held it out to her.

"Don't make me regret giving this back to you." He said quietly as she took the small blade and clutched it to her chest like a child would a teddy bear. "See you in the morning."

Raven watched him walk away without another word to her. She kept the knife to her chest, scared she'd never see it again. Her father had given it to her when she was sixteen and with excellent care over the years it was damn near perfect. Her glanced back at her as he entered his own tent and she looked down, embarrassed that he'd caught her still looking at him.


	3. "Cullen's a jerk."

It had been two weeks since her unexpected and curious arrival at Haven and in Raven's opinion it could've definitely been worse. She could tell the habits she'd developed over years with her father confused some of the people who were more familiar with seeing her day after day but she made no effort to change. Her first morning in Haven she was up at dawn despite only having a couple hours of sleep, changed her clothes, and brushed the knots out of her hair before tying it in a messy bun like they'd come to know that she did every morning.

She didn’t know it at that time as she stepped out of her tent but Krem, Iron Bull's second in command, was watching her. No guards were watching her and she could run if she wanted to but he needed to see for himself what she would do. Sure enough, she wrapped her sweatshirt around her, checked the small of her back underneath her shirt to make sure her knife was tucked away safely and made her way to one of the guards watching the gate and after a smile from her and her small hand on his shoulder he pointed to the Chantry. He watched her as she spent an hour seated outside the Spymaster's door waiting to be of service until Cassandra had come rushing in, brushing past Krem only to stop when she saw the young girl waiting and then walked out again.

Raven had spent the rest of the day running reports. Throughout the two weeks if she wasn’t running reports she was picking elfroot for Adan and helping Flissa serve food and drinks at the bar to the guests, party, and soldiers of the Inquisition. It was busy, something Raven was used to. Something she wasn’t used to, however, was not being allowed to train. Cullen was a fair commander who earned respect from his soldiers as well as others but he refused to hear out her request claiming that he was partly responsible for her and he didn’t need her getting hurt. His response was like someone had punched her in the gut and pissed her off but she acquiesced to his order and made her way to the Chantry only to see Josephine at the door.

"Ah, Miss O'Hara may I have a word with you?" Josephine called out to her as Raven made her way up the stone stairs and passed the Quartermaster. She smiled at the woman and quickened her pace.

"Is everything alight, Lady Montilyet?" She asked the older woman. Josephine smiled politely though Raven knew she actually preferred to be called by her real name. She'd requested that of Raven a few days before but after years of addressing others by their titles and surnames since it showed respect it proved to be a habit not easily broken.

"Everything is fine, thank you for asking. Were the reports delivered to Commander Cullen and Leliana?" She asked though she didn't need an answer. Raven was efficient and usually quick to complete whatever was assigned to her without complaint. The young redhead nodded and Josephine watched as she grew more relaxed. When standing it was one of her tells to bring her arm to rest across her back and grip the other one near the elbow. When she'd first noticed it she thought Raven was just stretching out a muscle but quickly learned it was something she did, often without thinking of it.

"Cullen had me put his on his desk and Leliana said to thank you. Is there anything else you need of me?" She asked politely.

"If you have nothing planned would you like to sit and have some tea with me?" She asked and Raven let go of her arm, letting the other drop to her side and nodded. Josephine's office was always clean and Raven noticed the magical researcher wasn't where she normally stood. Josephine had also closed the door behind them both. Weeks ago it would've put Raven on edge but Josephine had always been kind to her. 

"Has it been stressful being ambassador for the Inquisition?" Raven asked as she took a seat at Josephine's desk across from where she usually sat. Josephine seated herself a moment later after putting her usual platter on the desk and pouring tea in Raven's cup. Before Raven could reach forward her cat, Zevran, jumped on her lap and stood on his back legs to rub his face against hers. Once he was resting on her lap, purring loudly, Raven reached out and took her usual teacup. 

"I'm finding it enjoyable and no less stressful than my time at court. Still, your concern is very touching. Thank you. I actually wished to inquire about how you are doing here." She asked and watched as Raven sipped the tea poured for her. She continued to hold the small glass cup in her hands. She liked the warmth. Raven didn't answer right away, her smile faltering.

"Honestly?" The young redhead asked and Josephine nodded, knowing she'd nothing else anyway. "I miss home. I miss my friends and training and hot baths after training with salt and lavender." She looked heartbroken, Josephine thought but knew Raven normally shied away from feelings enough to not bring it up.

"You put salt and lavender in your baths, Why? I can understand scented oils but never salt." Josephine exclaimed eager to hear what the young woman across from her had to say.

"A hot bath with sea salt is amazing for decreasing muscle inflammation, reducing stress, enhancing circulation throughout the body and many other things. Lavender also helps reduce stress. It all ties into letting your body get the same amount of rest as it does conditioning." She explained and Josephine rested her head in her hands and continued to stare at the woman across from her.

"I apologize for not asking before but what sort of training do you mean? Cullen mentioned in passing that you wanted to spar with some of his soldiers. Are you trained in weapon combat?" After a moment of silent debate Raven nodded and took another sip of her tea. Josephine continued to watch her, even when her door opened and Leliana stepped in, her eyes moved back to the young girl. Raven tilted her head back and acknowledged the other redhead before turning back to Josephine.

"Back where I'm from we have a military and soldiers like you do here. My father was in the military for twenty-five years and in special forces for sixteen of those years, meaning he went on missions almost no one else could do. Yes, I have combat skills and training experience. Dad was never open to the idea of hurting someone without reason but he wanted me to be able to defend myself if the situation called for it." She explained.

"That is fascinating!" Josephine exclaimed, "Are you familiar with any specific weapons or do you just know how to fight?" Raven had to smile at the excitement in Josephine's voice as she did her best to remain proper.

"I know four different fighting styles and have over ten years of experience in archery and also with daggers and swords. Dad and I trained five hours a day, six days a week." She explained looking down into her tea cup. Josephine looked at Leliana who was regarding the girl carefully, hardly believing what she was hearing.

"Does the Commander know any of this?" Leliana asked, hardly believing the Commander would pass up such an opportunity if what Raven said was true. As far as she could tell the girl had yet to be anything but honest.

"Cullen's a jerk. He won't let me." Raven ground out bitterly suddenly glaring at her tea. "He dismissed the idea with the runaround excuse that he's partially responsible for me and doesn’t want me hurt." Leliana smiled, amused at the tone Raven had used and the way she seemed to slump in the chair she was in. She looked up and made eye contact as Leliana moved closer to the young girl and brought a hand up to rest on her shoulder.

"You're free now, yes?" Leliana asked and Raven nodded, "How about we go have a talk with our Commander." Raven glanced over to Josephine who merely nodded.

"I don't want to cause any arguments." She said quietly setting her tea on Josephine's desk. Leliana chuckled.

"Nonsense," She replied, "If you have the skills and are willing to use them for the Inquisition then they should be addressed." With a nod Raven stood and with a polite farewell to Josephine she followed Leliana out of the small office and out of the building. As they made their way down to the practice yard she caught the eyes and smiles of a few of the citizens who knew her. It was nice being able to interact with them which was something she couldn't often do in the game. Cullen noticed the two women making their way towards him, with a quick order to the soldier by his side he smiled and met them about twenty feet from where the soldiers were training.

"Leliana, Miss O'Hara," He addressed, "It's a pleasure seeing you both. What can I help you with?" Cullen noticed the younger redhead wouldn't meet his eye and the way her fingers picked at the sleeves of the coat she was wearing. Leliana was the one to answer him.

"Well Commander," Leliana started, "Raven would like to train with the soldiers." She wasted no time with tactfulness and maybe it was for the best but Raven could feel Cullen's eyes on her, no doubt angry. The last thing she wanted him to think was that she went behind his back.

"I spoke with her about it this morning and explained that her training with the soldiers isn't a good idea. Maybe after the breach in the sky is sealed but right now we need to focus on the fighters we have and not the whims of a girl whose probably never picked up a weapon in her life." Raven's head shot up and she glared at Cullen.

"But I ha-" She started but she was cut off. Not by the Commander though, but by Krem as he approached her. Cullen hadn’t exactly been quiet while addressing Leliana's request and Krem always hated seeing a woman upset, even though she had yet to show any skill with any type of weapon Krem saw no harm in giving her a chance. It would make her happy and he liked her smile.

"I'll work with you if you'd like." He offered and smiled when Raven looked at him. Cullen was about to reply but stopped when the young girl turned toward Krem instead of continuing to face him. Her hair was coming free from the tie or maybe it was supposed to be that way. Krem wasn’t sure; it wasn't very often he saw a woman with hair that long.

"You will?" She asked and her smile grew bigger when he nodded.

"Of course. Why don't you go get ready and I'll take you over to the practice weapons when you're done." He suggested and had to wonder what was going through her head as she chuckled at him, her eyes already becoming brighter than they had since she'd arrived.

"I _am_ ready." She stated and Krem looked her up and down, taking in what she was wearing; Loose black pants, her boots, and coat. She had to be joking! There was no way she'd survive wearing something like that in real combat. The humor in her voice and the idea of her not wearing proper armor bothered both Krem and Cullen more than it should have. Leliana just continued to watch the interaction between them all in silence, a part of her praying that Raven had at least a small idea of what she was getting into.

"That seriously can't be what you expect to train in? You don't have armor?" Cullen asked, taking the words out of Krem's mouth. Raven made a point of ignoring him, something he'd never seen her do in the weeks he'd helped keep an eye on her. She answered to everyone respectfully which only showed how much the Commander's dismissal and attitude toward her had hurt. Krem knew, having been there before but that didn't explain the clothes she insisted on training in. What made it even worse was when she took off her jacket, exposing a thin black shirt with short sleeves, and politely requested that Leliana hold it for her, which she graciously did. Was she wearing so little to prove a point?

"Care to show me the practice weapons?" She asked him in a tone he could only describe as sweet. The spymaster let out a chuckle as he led Raven to the dulled practice weapons in a rack against the tents. She picked up a sword first, checked the weight, and then put it back down. It was only a matter of seconds before she had a pair of dulled practice daggers picked out while Krem went for his practice sword and shield and he was leading her to an open area away from the fighting soldiers. Leliana and Cullen continued to watch them. They were all impressed by stance she had taken and noted the way she held the daggers in her hands.

"You ready?" He asked and she nodded. He took the first charge which she easily dodged. He turned quickly to see her smile with one of her practice daggers to his throat.

"Dead." Was the only word she spoke before backing away and positioning herself again.

 

Cullen and Leliana watched in awed silence as the young redhead dodged attacks with a speed that was astounding for anyone, especially a woman of her age. Raven was smiling as Krem swung his sword and in return she did a back flip away from it only to crouch down low on the hard ground and swing her leg with enough force to knock Krem back on his ass. Over and over again he'd made a move to attack her and each time she dodged and countered his attacks with one of her own. It was a game to her and Cullen stiffened as he heard her laughing at something Krem must have said to her. He'd never heard that sound come from her before or from anyone he'd ever seen train.

"I must admit that I'm surprised she's this good." Cullen finally admitted after half an hour of watching Krem and Raven together. By now they had drawn a small crowd but neither Krem nor Raven had seemed to notice. It was cold and even from their distance Cullen could see the way strands of Raven's long hair stuck to her face and shoulders and that Krem was breathing heavy.

"She was talking to Josephine this morning," Leliana replied quietly and Cullen looked at her, "She talked about her father and how he trained her. She told us that she has experience with multiple weapons and types of combat. I wanted to see if what she said was true even if she was against approaching you a second time about it." Though Leliana was happy she'd insisted, she thought to herself as Raven narrowly dodged Krem's sword. She knew the Charger's second in command was a fantastic warrior and in the beginning he was going easy to give Raven a chance, which was something she apparently didn't need since he was no longer fooling around and was really going after her only to miss every time.

"What's going on here?" She heard Varric's voice from behind them. Turning around Leliana not only saw Varric but Bull and The Herald with him as well. It was always nice when they returned a day earlier than planned.

"Training." Leliana replied and turned around in time to see Raven holding her hand out to Krem who was on the ground again. It wasn't until about twenty minutes later that Raven dodged and swung her arm, misjudging the actual space she had between her and Krem and, even though it was a practice dagger, she sliced him across the cheek. Leliana could feel Cullen, Varric, and The Herald tense around her but she continued to look at the young woman, noticing the expression of absolute horror on her face as she suddenly stopped her attack, dropped both daggers and made a move towards the bleeding young man. Krem smiled at her and she could see his lips moving but couldn’t hear what was said. From the way Raven's shoulders seemed to settle it was most likely a quiet comfort not meant for anyone else's ears.

"Well shit." Varric mumbled and readjusted Bianca on his shoulder. He had seen many things but for someone to stop mid-attack, drop their weapons, and follow it with such a contrite expression almost unnerved him. He watched as Krem nodded and Raven bent down to pick up the practice daggers she'd been using.

"How did this happen?" The Herald asked. Cullen continued to watch the pair with curiosity so Leliana turned toward the group and with a smile she handed The Herald Raven's coat. With the exception of her first night with them he'd never seen it off her small frame. Christopher frowned; it was entirely too light for her to keep warm in.

"Krem offered when she insisted." Leliana replied and could tell Bull was still watching the pair, most likely Krem to see what needed to be worked on. With one last glance toward the sparring pair Leliana smiled, bid farewell, and made her way toward the Chantry again leaving only the men to continue watching in stunned silence.

 

"I don't know about you but I think I've had enough." Krem said between breaths. Raven's breathing was quickened but not irregular and she could hear and feel her heart beating in her ears and chest. She was warm yet cold and smiled at him as he offered to take her practice daggers while she went to put on her coat. With one last glance at him, her eyes lingering on his split cheek, Raven turned to see Cullen, Varric, Iron Bull, and The Herald, though she'd been instructed by him to use his real name: Christopher. He was the one holding her sweatshirt so with a sheepish grin she made her way over to him.

"Damn Ginger." Varric exclaimed when she was only a couple feet away, "Call me impressed. Where'd you learn to fight like that?" She smiled down at him, her eyes holding a brightness he'd never seen in her before. In the weeks she'd been with them and the times they'd talked those green eyes had barely held anything even close to the excited spark he was now seeing.

"Years of training." Raven replied and thanked Christopher when he'd held out her sweatshirt. She was starting to shiver from the cold as her body temperature began to adjust so before anything else was said she threw on the thick piece of cotton and zipped it up.

"If I had known," Cullen started and stopped when her green eyes moved to him and held his gaze. He didn't understand women but he could definitely tell when one was angry with him and he honestly didn't blame her.

"Can I please train with your soldiers now?" She asked and the men around her were caught off guard at the exasperated tone of her voice. Cullen didn't get to answer, Bull beat him to it.

"Hell Girl," That was Bull's name for her since he tried holding off on nicknames till he knew a person better, "If he doesn’t let you train and you really want to then you can join my team." Christopher had to look away, almost stunned, as Raven smiled up at Bull. She looked absolutely ecstatic and he couldn't help but be proud of her.

"Do any of your Chargers have speed? Krem was fun and I liked sparring with him but the metal he wears slows him down." She asked Iron Bull, her smile didn't fade but she was back to using a professional courtesy. He laughed and put a giant hand on her shoulder. _Fucking rogues_ , he thought as he continued to look down at the tiny girl that came to about to inches above his belly button.

"We have a few. Come by later if you want and I'll introduce you." He said and left the group. Christopher, Cullen, and Varric stared at the girl in front of them. She didn't pay them any mind and started to stretch, her back and shoulders popped and caused Christopher to flinch at the noise.. Her hair was still tied back but messy and a sheen of sweat lingered on her forehead. Before anyone else could say anything Cullen pulled her attention by clearing his throat.

"I apologize, Miss O'Hara. If you're still interested in training with the soldiers I won't stop you. Now if you don't mind I've spent enough time away from my men." He addressed his comrades and made his way back to the practice grounds.

"Asshole." Raven's soft spoken insult went unnoticed. It was almost a pity.


	4. Dirty Conversations

In the month and a half, fifty-two days as Raven had secretly been keeping track, a lot had changed and a part of her was growing weary. Ever since Leliana had given her a chance to display her talents things had been better; while she still ran reports from advisor to advisor, between Iron Bull, Cullen, and the final word from Christopher she was allowed to train virtually whenever she wanted. It relaxed her and kept her thoughts at bay. Back home where this world was just a series of games not only did she remember all the locations, rifts, monsters, quests, and battle strategies but was so used to fast travel. Christopher had started talking to her about plans for their expeditions and what he'd hoped to achieve. Raven wanted to help, she knew what was at stake but how could she possibly explain that? They were just starting to trust her, she thought, but she was also starting to trust and care for them.

"Ginger is everything alright?" Varric asked, his voice breaking her thoughts. It was midday and they had been at the bar going over a few things. With gained trust came reward and she'd been given back her notebooks and pouch of pens earlier that morning. Christopher had also let it slip to Varric that she'd like to write so he'd met her at the Chantry entrance and practically dragged her away with him. Flissa gave her a smile as they seated themselves and promptly served her and Varric tea, leaving the kettle on the table for them. Raven looked at her friend and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking. Are you done yet?" She asked and laughed a second later when she'd noticed the slight pink color on his cheeks. "Varric are you _blushing_?" Her tone was incredulous and Varric hushed her.

"Not blushing just intrigued." He covered it up by looking down at Raven's work again. On more than one occasion when they were outside of Haven Ginger had been brought up in conversation. It was during their last stint in the Hinterlands and Val Royeaux that Christopher had mentioned that Ginger liked to write and even Seeker had mentioned that she was very good at it. They weren’t wrong and though he didn't understand what some things were he kept it to himself.

"I beg your indulgence Varric," She said to him with a coy smile, one that could easily melt any heart, "What has you so intrigued regarding my little drabbles?" Her voice had a lilt of humor to it and he had to chuckle, liking that she was becoming more relaxed around him. She didn’t know it but everyone else was liking it too, especially Christopher and although her humor was more sarcastic than he initially expected. He enjoyed seeing the way she interacted with some people when she was on edge as well but preferred the adorable smiling girl sitting next to him already on her third cup of tea. With a content sigh he set one of the pages with her curvy scribbles onto the table and turned it so she could see.

"Is it really possible to be taken in this position?" He asked in all seriousness and had to smile when she laughed, her eyes tearing.

"Before I ended up here my friend had a rather adventurous sex life. She wasn't promiscuous by any means, it was all with her boyfriend but yes, that’s what she told me and then proceeded to tell me the mechanics of it. I never expected you could get those types of results with-" Varric shushed her with a laugh as Tiny entered the small building and sat next to Raven.

"What's got Varric turning red?" He asked causing the small girl to bring her hand to her mouth and laugh into it as she turned a shade close to what her hair was. Bull stared down at the girl in amusement and waited patiently for her to catch her breath.

"I was telling him about my friend back home and -" Varric silenced her as he picked up the pages of Raven's writing and handed them to Bull. He couldn’t have been that embarrassed right? Raven mused and covered the Dwarf's hand with her own. A moment of reading later she looked up at Iron Bull as he laughed and slammed the paper to the table in a loud bang.

"I'll have to remember that." He said already thinking of the healer he was going to be with later that night. "How does it work exactly?" Varric groaned and was quick to change the subject. Bull caught the tiny redhead smile up at him and mouth 'later' before moving on from Varric's obvious discomfort and Bull had to give her credit where it was due; outside training she seemed to portray pure innocence. Who knew she could make the smut writer blush by giving him even smuttier smut. It was hilarious! He'd have to tell Boss about it later, or in fifteen seconds, Bull corrected his thought when Christopher walked into the tavern, the young Mage's eyes immediately finding them.

"I thought you'd be training." He addressed Raven first who smiled up at him. She had earlier in the day before the message to go to the Chantry had been delivered to her. He was in the war room at the time with Cullen and Josephine. Leliana joined after giving Raven her things.

"I did that this morning and besides," She began gathering the papers and shaping them into a neat pile in front of her, "even if I wanted to continue _you're_ the one who told Varric that I like to write." Christopher smiled and Bull couldn’t take it any longer.

"She even made him blush." Bull added causing Boss to look at the dwarf shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Raven rolled her eyes.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" She asked Christopher, putting an end to any taunting and further talk of her random works. Of all the things he picked up it had to be the smut. Christopher cleared his throat suddenly feeling nervous. She was an inch and a half, at most, taller than Varric and half his size. How was he finding her intimidating? 

"I would actually like to talk to you in private if you don't mind." He said formally like the high ranking official he was and watched as her eyes widened. Varric and Bull said nothing already knowing why he was taking her away. Raven nodded her acceptance and stood up from the chair she had been sitting in. Varric put his hand over the stories she'd written saying he'd continue looking them over for her and caught the smile she gave him before bending down and kissing her friend on the cheek. Christopher tried to think nothing of it as she did the same to Bull, having to stand on her tip toes to reach the sitting Qunari, she was that small. Bull laughed at her and as Raven turned to walk outside with Christopher he caught the way Bull's eyes lingered after her like he'd done so many times before. It wasn’t until they were outside where it was cooler that he noticed she wasn't wearing her normal jacket. Instead she just had on her usual boots, a pair of black skintight pants, and a loose hanging sleeveless black top. His eyes wandered over her figure while she wasn't looking, finally fixating on her arms and upper back, always amazed at colorful tattoos against her pale skin. Ever since she'd arrived here he wanted to reach out and caress the artwork but didn’t want to risk being too forward with her. The last thing he wanted was to make it uncomfortable for her to be around him.

"So is everything okay?" She asked after a minute or two of walking in silence. Christopher looked up from her tattoos to see that she was also looking at him. What if she refused, he fretted silently, what would it take for her to accept? 

"I spoke with Cullen this morning. He and Bull say you've been training every day." She nodded in confirmation to his statement. By the time he'd brought it up they were already where they needed to be. Raven didn’t catch on and broke away to smile at Harritt and ask how he was. The blacksmith smiled at her in return and looked to Christopher who nodded. The girl stood between the two of them confused.

"What's going on?" She asked subtly shifting her stance in case she needed to run. Old habits died hard and she relaxed some as Christopher put a hand on her upper back.

"As I was saying, I spoke with Cullen and Bull and they agreed with me that you can only get so much experience here with training soldiers. We're leaving for the Hinterlands next week and I want you to come with us." Part of him grew excited when he saw her eyes light up but cut her off before she could speak, "The only condition is that you wear armor."

Raven stared at the man in front of her and didn't say a word. She'd been hopeful at first but he wanted her to get armor. She had no problem with it and had actually worn leather armor in the past but she hadn't necessarily been paid for all the errands she'd done the last month and a half. Surely he must've known that. Maybe he'd be willing to take her next time, she thought. Christopher noticed her smile falter and had to wonder what she was thinking. She had to wear armor, Cullen had all but demanded it of him and Christopher couldn’t agree more. He liked to think that he was close to her, that they were friends and he didn't want her hurt.

"What's wrong?" He asked and she looked down, almost as if embarrassed. Her hair fell and covered part of her face. Harritt noticed too and lifted a dirty soot covered hand to tilt her chin up so she could look at him.

"With all the materials you've gathered for me you've more than paid for your armor." He said quietly and Christopher watched as she started to smile again. That was what she worried about? He had every intention of giving it to her as a gift, he just needed her measurements. No one ever said that she'd been helping Harritt out as well, though part of him wasn't surprised. She seemed to help everyone if she could and from what he'd seen and heard from them she had never asked for anything in return. At least the daggers he'd crafted for her could still be a surprise.

"Are you sure Harritt?" She asked and was relieved when the older man nodded.

 

An hour later her measurements had been taken and materials had been picked out. She wanted to go simple but Harritt and Christopher wouldn't hear it, both wanting her to have armor that would protect her. On his trip to Val Royeaux a few weeks ago, in between attempting to speak with the Chantry and Templars and recruiting the merchant Bell, he'd found a medium armor schematic while browsing one of the many shops and bought it with her in mind. Both he and Harritt were surprised about her knowledge regarding the materials supplied to them. In the end they'd both been satisfied with her selection of dragonling scales and drakestone. Harritt smiled at her as reached out and hugged him before taking their leave.

"You really want me to go with you?" She asked and he nodded.

"Of course," He answered almost earnestly, "I mean, Cullen's forces just finished building the watch towers for Master Dennet and we still have to do a few things regarding the rogue Templars and the Mages. We also have to meet with Grand Enchanter Fiona and enlist a Gray Warden. The list is honestly endless." He told her and was pleased that she seemed to be genuinely interested though he was quick enough to notice her smile falter when he'd mentioned the Mage. Did she not like Mages, he wondered. He knew Cullen wasn't entirely open to them, maybe he'd spoken to her about the Circle of Ferelden and Kirkwall during her training. 

"How's the rift situation?" She asked and he caught her looking down at his left hand. "Have the wolves been taken care of yet? I heard you talking about them when you came back." He stared at her, contemplating the questions she'd asked. He couldn't remember talking about the wolves but lately things had been so hectic that it was certainly possible. 

"Most of the rifts have been closed and we were going to take care of the wolves when we're there next week. I bet wolves will be an exciting change from rams." She laughed in response and Christopher was momentarily enthralled as her face lit up. 

"You have no idea. Thank you for choosing to bring me with you. I can imagine your normal companions aren't too excited." He stopped and reached out to grab her arm. She stopped walking and turned to look at him, confusion evident on her face. 

"I know the circumstances of your arrival still aren't completely clear but you've given us no reason to doubt you. You're smart, resourceful, and extremely skilled in combat. Besides Varric, Bull, and Solas love you. Cassandra is even coming around." He told her, finishing the last part with humor earning another laugh.

"Varric and Iron Bull I can believe but you're going going to stand there and actually tell me to my face that _Solas_ loves _me_?" He laughed too but truthfully wasn't far off. He'd asked the Elven apostate about Raven a few times since her arrival and was pleased to learn that he'd found the young woman oddly charming and curious. She'd asked him countless questions about the Fade and where he'd been on his journeys. Solas enjoyed talking about what he loved and had a great respect for anyone with the hunger for knowledge.

"Alright," Christopher conceded, "He does like you and being around you though. Cassandra may not completely trust you yet but she does respect you." He was caught off guard as Raven came forward and wrapped her arms around him in a hug, the top of her head coming up to his chest. Christopher wasn't used to such forward affectionate acts but it only took him a second to regain his composure before he smiled and wrapped his arms around her in return. Her skin was surprisingly warm and soft against his fingers. Her hair smelled like oranges and before he knew it she was pulling back and smiling at him again, or maybe she hadn't stopped smiling.

 

It had been at least six years since Raven had been on a horse and she'd forgotten how much she loved it, despite her aching muscles from riding the last three day she was having more fun than she'd had in a long time. Her traveling companions were wonderful though their banter was different than what she'd seen in the game but that was to expected. Christopher also preferred a party of six as opposed to four in the game. Her new armor was beautiful, black and blood red, and fit perfectly, and the pair of obsidian daggers Christopher had given to her yesterday that matched her armor were resting comfortably in their harness that crisscrossed along her back, high enough and in a position where she'd easily be able to reach them if needed and yet all she could do was admire the giant black horse beneath her. She was so engrossed in petting the horses long mane that it took Bull's hand on her arm to pull her back to reality. Raven looked over to see him still riding beside her with an amused smile.

"Adjusting well?" He asked and motioned to the horse earning a nod in response.

"The last time I was on a horse was sometime shortly after my thirteenth birthday." She replied and went back to petting the horses mane missing the look Bull and Varric shared. Ever since she'd been found and brought to them she'd been careful with the information she'd given. At first it didn't particularly matter since she did nothing but gather herbs and materials and run reports all day but as the Inquisition party members and the advisors spent more time with her they started to care for and respect her. They liked her and enjoyed her company. However, ever since the night she shared and left her written works in the possession of Varric and Bull they had been trying to get her to divulge more information about herself. In the dozens of attempts they'd made she had yet to give anything away and it wasn't as if they were the only ones wanting to know, Christopher's curiosity was obvious but she was always careful with what she revealed, never saying anything or letting any of them know something she didn't want them to. Solas was the only one she spoke to about her previous life somewhat freely.

"Why so long?" Varric asked casually from her other side.

"It was my uncle's ranch we always went to. He used to live an hour south from where we were located but moved further away. Dad and I were so busy with our own stuff that we just didn't have the time." She explained and leaned forward, letting her body rest against the horse's back, no doubt oblivious to how her tempting her body looked in that position and in the armor she was wearing. Or maybe she did know, Bull mused, and just didn't care.

"How old are you anyway?" Bull questioned though it wasn't too important to him. He just wanted to know. Raven sat up straight again, having finished stretching, and redid the bun in her hair that had come loose throughout the day before answering them. It was obvious what they were doing.

"I turned twenty about three months ago." She responded and smiled at Solas when he looked back at her from his own horse. Aside from the Herald's advisors he was the only one that she spoke to about her life before Haven but the others didn't seem to know that as it had never come up in conversation with others. She was funny and enjoyed learning about the fade as well as what he decided to tell her of himself in return for anything she shared with him. Part of him knew that there was more to her knowledge than she was letting on and part of it bothered him but he knew if she wasn't saying anything then she most likely had a good reason. It wasn't his concern.

"Holy shit..." Bull muttered and trailed off. Raven looked over to him and smirked.

"What's the matter Bull? Feeling like a dirty old Qunari for all those times you've stared at my ass?" Bull let out a low predatory growl which caused Varric to laugh. Christopher remained silent as he watched the two interact not sure if they were flirting or if it was just playful banter. It seemed to happen often between them.

"Careful Girl," Bull warned as his thoughts started to race with ideas of what he could do to her if she'd let him, "I'll be more than happy to show you what dirty really is if you continue with the back talk." His offer had no effect on her which he'd already known would happen but she winked and blew him a kiss anyway. Cassandra made a disgusted noise from behind him.

"Bull you wouldn't know what to do with me even if I gave you the chance." She retorted and that was something no one in the party was expecting. Without another word she picked up the reins and with a quick flick of her wrist her horse was suddenly in front of them next to Solas. Bull, Varric, Christopher, and Cassandra could hear their low voices but couldn't make out what was being said. Her laughing, however, could be heard perfectly. 

"So Boss," Bull asked looking back at Christopher, noticing the unusual silence on his part the last couple days "how much longer till camp?" The young mage looked up to see where the sun was above them, his mind still reeling from Raven's words. He'd never heard her speak that way and had to wonder how innocent she really was.

"About two miles we'll be at the Redcliff farms camp. Tomorrow we'll take care of the wolves and get those horses from Dennet before we start searching for Warden Blackwall." He informed them and continued to make a mental list of everything that needed to be done. He hated the Hinterlands.

 

 


	5. It's a trap

"How is it that we've only been here three days and we're so far ahead of schedule?" Cassandra asked Christopher quietly as all but one member of their party gathered around the campfire. The young Mage looked at the woman for a moment and then his eyes traveled to Iron Bull, Varric, and Solas. The question had been on all their minds but no one wanted to answer it because, in truth, all credit was due to the small redhead already asleep in her tent. The day they'd arrived she spent a lot of time scouting the area, getting used to moving around in her new armor and adjusting to the weight of the daggers Christopher had given her claiming it helped the stiffness from her being on the horse for so long. They had all been so busy setting up and going over their plans that it wasn't until two hours later when Varric pointed out that it had been a while since Raven had been seen that she came walking back, as if on queue; splatters of blood streaked across her face, in her hair, and blending into her armor smiling as she dragged a ram behind her with one arm and held two fennecs in her other smiling proudly. Cassandra had been the first to speak, clearly shocked but all Raven had replied with was that she caught dinner and asked Varric if he could help her with skinning the fennecs. The dwarf later let it slip that she wanted a warmer coat to wear around Haven and had heard of the warmth fennec fur brought. Nugskin did the same but apparently she hated the color white.

She had been the first one up the next morning, or so Christopher had been told by one of the guards keeping watch. Just before dawn she came out of her tent, already in her armor with her hair twisted in a braid and sat against one of the logs around the fire pit, humming a tune unfamiliar to them and sharpened her daggers as the moon had set and the sun started to rise. Solas had come out of his tent shortly after dawn and sat next to her in in silence while she told him where they needed to go for the wolves and suggested that it might be smarter to take care of the rift down by the ravine at a later time. At first they thought it was something she saw during scouting the night before. During their task to find the wolves the map had been checked multiple times and despite Cassandra and Christopher wanting to go up the hill after crossing the river just slightly downstream from the rift at Forannan Ravine Raven had insisted on continuing downstream. Solas had offered to go with her in case something happened so they split up. Having gone the wrong way, by the time Cassandra, Bull, Varric, and Christopher had backtracked and gone downstream Solas had frozen the last wolf outside the den from the inside out and Raven had brought both daggers down, shattering the thing.

It hadn't just been the wolf incident either, though once it had been completed and also learning about the watch towers Master Dennet had been happy to supply them with horses. Cassandra even managed to convince him to come along, Raven somehow knew where to go for everything that needed to be done and it slightly unnerved them all. When asked about it she just smiled and answered in two simple words: Trust me. Even in the times between clearing out the Templar Encampment and taking care of the Mages in Witchwood, which she'd given them almost exact locations to, she seemed to busy herself with gathering more plants that she knew were needed and iron, onyx and drakestone for Harritt. At the end of each day dozens of resources would be divided up where some would be used for requisitions and others would be put in a chest to bring back with them.  The second and third day were no different. They had plans to recruit Warden Blackwall and then make their way back to Redcliff to meet with Grand Enchanter Fiona in the morning, something she still seemed to hesitate with.

"Maybe she's been studying the maps." Cassandra suggested and that was all any of them could think of. Christopher's eyes focused on Solas, the elf looked deep in thought as he stared into the fire.

"Have you seen anything in the Fade?" He asked. Solas looked at his fellow Mage and let out a frustrated sigh. For weeks he'd been looking for something to explain where she'd come from but all his theories had fallen through. He'd even asked his old spirit friends and none of them had heard or known anything.

"Unfortunately I haven't." He finally replied, "None of my friends have any idea but I'll keep looking."

From inside her tent Raven was lying on her stomach, watching her traveling companions and wasn't surprised when conversation drifted to her. She knew it had been careless to complete all errands and quests that she'd already known about but it was so hard to control herself. She knew the area and also what had to be done, Christopher hated the Hinterlands and wanted to leave so she decided to take matters into her own hands. Now they suspected her of something bad again and even had Solas scouring the Fade trying to find something, anything to answer their questions. She wanted to tell them but knew she couldn't. She cared for them and it was eating her alive, knowing what would happen no matter which decision was made. The game was so much easier, sure people died but she could control so much more. Here she was powerless to stop it and if she were to help and tell them they'd demand answers and want to know her full reasoning behind it. She was helpful already but they still didn't trust her and Raven could only imagine their reaction when it came to more than quests in the freaking Hinterlands. Her mind drifted to her father and she wondered what advice he'd give her, wishing he were there with her. Even if he couldn't offer advice he'd still offer a hug and, deep down, she missed those more than anything.

"Whether she's studying the maps, scouting the area, or some other reason we can't think of she's helped us and has yet to give a reason not to trust her." Varric reasoned, earning a nod from Bull. He was right; the young girl had helped them, even before they left for the Hinterlands. It was no wonder why she wouldn't tell them anything if they were going to sit around a campfire and doubt her when they thought she was sleeping. Varric and Bull knew better though, not only about her still being awake but after years of training for Bull and Varric being who he was both could determine a liar with one glance. There was a lot she wasn't telling them but with the Seeker's mistrust, Solas looking for proof in the Fade, and their half thought out ideas the two were surprised she'd told them as much as she had. If it were one of them in that position they wouldn't have said shit.

"We have every reason not to trust her." Cassandra argued and Varric was quick to answer her before she continued to speak. The others remained silent and listened to the conversation.

"Because she showed up out of nowhere and can't give us answers?" He retorted, "Newsflash Seeker, our Herald did that less than four months ago and here you are completely fine with it. You're even following him around the Hinterlands to help with the Inquisition. That girl may have no explanation she can give us as to why she's here but she's given herself to helping all of us while making the best of what little trust we've all given her." By the end of his rant Varric had lost any form of his usual easy going demeanor and was now a foot from her with his finger pointed out at the brunette woman. Cassandra glared at him and he noticed her hand rest on the hilt of her sword for a moment before her hand dropped entirely and dropped her head.

"She's a good person Seeker." Bull said quietly as he cast a quick glance to the redhead's tent, Raven stared at Bull through the flaps before turning onto her side and curling into a ball under her blanket, no longer looking at them. She'd have to give Varric and Bull hugs in the morning, not much else was said between the group for the rest of the night.

 

As usual Raven was up before her companions. It was becoming easier to change into her armor so she gave herself a break, coming out of her tent in a pair of leggings and a skintight black tank top. The lush grass tickled her bare feet but it was an enjoyable sensation and it helped wake her up a bit more. Sleep didn't come easy the night before and staying asleep for more than an hour at a time was even harder. She missed her coffee energy drinks, loud music in the mornings, and her dad's goofy expression as he would dance around to the music while making breakfast for them both. Halfway through her stretches she heard a ruffle from one of the tents and from her bent position she turned her head to see Varric up and dressed but looking far less awake than she was.

"Morning Ginger." He said, glancing to her at first and then doing a double take. The young woman was bent over and touching her toes with her ass in those skintight pants she wore with her long hair unbound and pooling on the ground. Varric almost swore, suddenly more awake than he wanted to be. She stood up straight and turned to him and he caught her eyes, not liking at all the sadness in them that she'd tried so hard to hide.

"Good morning Varric." She responded politely and was suddenly nervous. His words from last night still played through her head and she wanted to address them but couldn't find the right way to do such a thing so with no words to speak of she came forward and wrapped her arms around him. Varric stilled for a moment before returning the hug. She was a few inches taller than him but still so small in his arms that he had to wonder if she'd been eating enough. His thumbs stroked along her spine and back as he gave her the comfort she needed. Or maybe it was her way of showing she cared. When she finally pulled away he noticed she looked happier.

"So are you ready for today?" He asked and she nodded, backing away from him to continue her stretching. Varric watched her and the way the shirt she wore rode up to reveal pale skin and more colorful tattoos made him wonder just how much of her body was covered since he'd never seen anything under her tops and pants.

"Recruiting the Warden and meeting with Fiona in Redcliff. It should be wonderful." Varric noticed the sarcasm in her reply.

"I take it you're not a fan of Mages then?" He asked, his mind going to Christopher who was still asleep in his tent. If the stuttering, blushing, and awkward movements he made around her weren't enough to show he liked her then the daggers would've been a dead giveaway. She opened her eyes and lazily looked at him, her long hair catching in the sun light.

"On the contrary, I love Mages. Magic is a beautiful and terrifying thing and I respect it and those who can wield it. I'm just not a fan of traps." She stated without almost any emotion and cracked her neck as if it were nothing. Her back was to follow and Varric almost flinched as he heard about seven cracks and pops in a row come from her as she bent back, her body arching, and her hands resting fully on the ground behind her. He'd never seen her or anyone else bend that way before and it was a little unsettling. Then again, what she'd just said was a little disconcerting as well.

"You think it's a trap?" He asked taking a spot on one of the logs not too far from her. She brought her lower body up into the air before back down the other way and lifting her hands from the ground. She came toward him adjusting her shirt. Part of her knew she shouldn't be talking about what she knew to Varric but he trusted her, he'd said so last night and was even ready to get into a fight with Cassandra for it. The least she could do in return is trust him.

"I know it's a trap." She responded.

"Why don't you tell them?" He asked before thinking that question through completely. She seemed unaffected and just sat down next to him, putting her head on his shoulder. She smelled of oranges, Varric thought and even wondered if that was possible since they'd been nowhere near fruit in days. 

"Because they don't trust me." She answered quietly, both not noticing Bull come out from his tent. He stood there, not moving and just watched the two. From an onlookers point of view it probably looked like lovers sharing an intimate moment together but he knew better. "Besides, no matter what or who the Inquisition goes to its fucked either way. Between the Templars and their Lord Seeker or the Mages in Redcliff. I'm just here for the ride and fennec fur." The last part caused both her and Varric to laugh.

"Hell Ginger," The dwarf started, "if you wanted fennec fur you could've asked us and spared yourself from this trip." She took her head off his shoulder and brought her hands up to her hair, quickly and deftly twisting and braiding it to something more manageable than loose and flowing down her back before binding it with one of the ties from around her wrist.

"Nah, it's more rewarding if I catch the materials myself although I'm surprised I feel less horrible than what I thought I would, killing animals and such." She muttered while standing up and turning around to see Bull. He didn't get to say anything before she rushed over and threw her arms around him in a hug causing the Qunari to throw a questioning look to dwarf who was now facing them.

"Did I do something?" He asked and felt a slight tickle when the tiny girl nodded her head and her face brushed against his stomach. He wasn't able to get an answer though because anything that could've been said was cut off when they were greeted by Solas, then Christopher, and Cassandra shortly after. It made sense, the sun was already up.  Raven broke apart from Bull and smiled up at him before turning to Christopher and letting him know she was going to get ready. He didn't miss the way the young Mage's eyes followed that beautiful tightly covered ass of hers as she went into her tent, coming out five minutes later while fastening the last strap of her armor. Her harness was also put on, holding the daggers.

 

"Remember how to carry your shields. You're not hiding, you're holding. Otherwise it's useless." Raven heard the dark haired bearded man instruct the three men in front of him. They looked nervous. His lessons didn't stop Christopher from moving forward.

"Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?" He asked causing the Warden to turn around and come towards Christopher. Raven unsheathed her daggers and Varric looked over at her. The thieves were going to attack but she couldn't tell Varric that.

"You're not -" He started, tripping over his words, "How do you know my name? Who sent -" He stopped and held up his shield just in time to stop an arrow from hitting him in the face. By that time the four invaders had made themselves known, one charging from behind a tree. Raven heard Blackwall demand Christopher to help or get out and instruct the conscripts he'd had to fight but before his sentence could be completed one of the archers was on his knees with his hands to his throat as blood gushed from the wound the young girl inflicted on him and the thief wielding the axe was dead. Cassandra and Blackwall had taken care of the other two and while Blackwall gave a heartwarming speech to the conscripts and instructed them to leave Raven took a comfortable seat on the chest beside his home watching Christopher approach the aged warrior again.

"You're no farmer." Blackwall stated, "How do you know my name? Who are you?" She saw the warrior glance at her and the rest of the party members before focusing on Christopher again. Bull moved to Raven's side and glanced down to see the excitement on her face.

"I know your name because I'm an agent of the Inquisition." Christopher stated firmly, "I'm investigating on whether the disappearance of the Wardens has anything to do with the murder of the Divine." Raven saw Blackwall's eyes widen and he moved closer to the Mage, making Raven smile as she thought back to the game. It was almost exactly the same and she appreciated the familiarity. Even Blackwall's large beard hadn't changed.

"Makers balls!" He exclaimed, "The Wardens and the Divine. They can't - no, you're asking so you don't really know." _Smart man_ , Raven thought and smiled. Varric, Solas, and Cassandra were looking at her comfortably seated, watching almost as if enthralled by the scene before her. "First off, I didn't know they disappeared but we do that right? No more blight, job done, Wardens are the first thing forgotten. But one thing I'll tell you: No Warden killed the Divine. Our purpose isn't political." _Awh... Poor sweet babe,_ Raven thought to herself. It was something she often mumbled or thought to herself while playing the game back home and couldn't stop the thought from coming to her mind. She needed to get it together though, especially before Redcliff.

"So where are the rest of you?" Christopher asked.

"I haven't seen any Wardens for months." Blackwall responded, his eyes glancing over to Raven again, "I travel alone, recruiting. Not much interest because the Archdemon is a decade dead and no need to conscript because there's no blight coming. Treaties give Wardens the right to take what we need, who we need. These idiots forced this fight so I _conscripted_ their victims. They had to do what I said so I told them to stand. Next time they won't need me; Grey Wardens can inspire, make you better than you think you are."

"I wasn't aware Wardens could take whatever they want." Christopher countered.

"It's complicated," Blackwall explained, "If there's a blight everyone has to help the effort to fight it. The treaties are ancient. Outside of blights it's as binding as a clever tongue can make it." Raven had always admired that phrase and it sent goose bumps along her skin to hear it straight from the Warden's mouth.

"You're no help." Christopher stated, "I'm no further along than I was." He started to walk away from Blackwall and Raven had to roll her eyes. Didn't he state he wanted to recruit the Warden earlier that day and multiple times in the past week? He still had a chance to when Blackwall looked toward the retreating man.

"Inquisition... Agent, did you say? Hold a moment." Christopher stopped and turned around as the older man rushed toward him. "The Divine is dead and the sky is torn. Events like these, thinking we're absent s almost as bad as thinking we're involved. If you're trying to put things right maybe you need a Warden. Maybe you need me." Raven was on the edge of her seat, well chest, waiting for Christopher to welcome him. She hoped he hadn't changed his mind.

"The Inquisition needs all the support it can get but what can one Grey Warden do?" He asked.

"Save the fucking world, if pressed." Blackwall responded, "Look, maybe fighting demons from the sky isn't something I'm practiced at but show me someone who is. And like I said, there are treaties. Maybe this isn't a blight but its bloody well a disaster. Someone will honor them. Being a Warden means something to a lot of people" Raven couldn't help the giggle that escaped her lips drawing further attention from the four other party members standing close to her. Christopher and Blackwall didn't seem to notice.

"Warden Blackwall, the Inquisition accepts your offer." Christopher announced proudly. Varric, Cassandra, Bull, and Solas continued to look at Raven who had slid off the chest she was sitting on.

"Good to hear. We both need to know what's going on and perhaps I've been keeping to myself for too long. This Warden walks with the Inquisition."

 

Despite the setback of no one expecting the Inquisition's visit and Alexius being in charge, the village of Redcliff was absolutely beautiful, both similar and completely different than what Raven had expected. Then again, from the time Origins had taken place and the time Inquisition was set the change had been dramatic enough but being there and smelling the salty air, feeling the laid stone and wood along their way down to the center of town, and hearing all the people talk of the war, the mages, and events from long ago was almost overwhelming and Raven could hardly believe that she was among them, even looking the part in her armor.

Since they'd entered the village Christopher, Varric, Solas, Bull, and Cassandra had been watching Raven skip and hum to herself, trailing her fingers along the laid stone walls and admire the flowers planted. They remained quiet amongst themselves, talking about what needed to be done while Cassandra and Solas kept their eyes on the girl who was now speaking to an older woman about blood lotus plants in the lake and then another man further down the docks about flowers for his dead wife.

"Cassandra is everything okay?" Christopher asked noticing the woman had stopped offering her input. His eyes followed hers in time to see Raven approach a young, red haired man by the docks and start speaking to him.

"She's been talking to people since we've arrived." Cassandra noted and wondered why the girl had just given the man a hug. "I don’t understand it. We don't need help or instructions." Of course she wouldn't understand it, Solas thought to himself. Sometimes it was nice to talk to people. Without a word he left the group and walked down the steps toward the two redheads. The man she was speaking with looked familiar but he couldn't quite place it. She turned to him and smiled.

"Connor this is Solas, he's a friend of mine. Solas I'd like to introduce you to Connor, the Arl's nephew." The elf's eyes widened in surprise for a second before smiling and once the introductions were done Raven went back to speaking with the young man as if Solas wasn't even there.

"You were behind the siege of Redcliff ten years ago?" Raven asked, doing her best to ignore Solas's eyes on her. Conner nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. It wasn't often that someone so unfamiliar approached with questions regarding what happened years ago. Everyone in the village knew and the last he'd heard the village was closed to visitors because of the war. 

"That's me." The young man sounded heartbroken and Raven had to fight the urge to look away, "The boy with Redcliff's blood on his hands"

"But weren't you possessed?" She asked, "It wasn't you who did those things." Solas was caught off guard by Raven's words. How could she possibly know that?

"Wasn't it? I let the demon in." He countered, his eyes glancing at Solas and then back to her. "Sometimes when I dream I remember what happened. I see the death and destruction and it's me. It's all me."

"It wasn't all you. Jowan poisoned your father and you were young, scared, and didn't know any better." Raven insisted and came forward, wrapping her arms around Connor in another hug. She stepped back before he could object and smiled at him the way a mother would her son. The action only confused Solas even more. "How did you end up in the mage rebellion?" She asked. It took Conner a few seconds to reply, no doubt recovering from the tiny redhead's actions.

"I was living in the Ferelden tower when the Circles dissolved. I voted against it, but at first it seemed all right. No one was summoning demons, they just wanted to oversee themselves but then the Magister came and… It's wrong, what they do in Tevinter. We are monsters. We need to be controlled. If it wasn't for me every family in this village wouldn't be missing a son, a daughter, a spouse." _Such self-hatred,_ Raven thought to herself and despite her control she felt her eyes sting with the tears that formed.

"You're not in favor of the alliance with Tevinter?" She asked already knowing his answer.

"'Alliance'? Is that what they're calling it? That magister threw my uncle out into the street! He signed us into servitude. This is my home. Redcliff, Ferelden, no matter what evil I've done I would never have invited Tevinter here." Raven gave Connor another hug, one he returned and she looked at Solas as she pulled away. It was always so hard to tell what he was thinking but he didn't look happy at all.

"We need to get going." She said quietly.

"Please talk some sense into the Grand Enchanter," Connor begged, "Selling out to the Imperium won't win us any friends. We have to find a way to make peace." Raven flashed him a sad smile before turning away and starting back toward the group.

"How did you know?" Solas asked quietly, confused and slightly angered by her words, actions, and knowledge. How could she know so much? She sighed while stopping in her tracks halfway up the stairs and turned to him. Even though he was four steps behind her they were still eye level.

"How did I know what?" She asked and looked down as one of his hands wrapped around her upper arm. "Let go of me Solas." Raven's normal happy tone had been replaced by something deeper and he drew his hand back almost like he'd been burned.

"How did you know who that man was?" He asked.

"The woman who mentioned the Spirit of Valor in the lake told me when I asked about the village." She replied, her tone back to normal but her eyes had become hurt, angry and Solas felt a twinge of guilt as she walked away. Her companions looked at her, then back at Solas as they both approached and together they all made their way to the tavern to meet with Fiona.

 

Grand Enchanter Fiona was a beautiful woman, or so Raven thought anyway. She stood in the tavern as they'd entered and addressed them the way a woman in her position would. Varric stayed beside Raven to better keep up with her if something happened though since Solas had joined her in talking with the redhead by the docks she'd been silent and distant from them all. It worried him.

"What has brought you to Redcliff?" The Enchanter asked bringing Varric's attention back to the matter at hand. Raven stood and watched, unmoving, already knowing what would happen.

"We're here because of your invitation back in Val Royeaux." Christopher stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"You must be mistaken. I haven't been to Val Royeaux since before the Conclave." Fiona objected and from Ravens position near the back she could see Christopher, Cassandra, and Varric visibly stiffen at the woman's words.

"Well that's very strange," Christopher said quietly, "Because someone who looked exactly like you spoke to me in Val Royeaux."

"Exactly like me?" I supposed it could be magic at work but why would anyone… Whoever or whatever brought you here the situation has changed. The free mages have already pledged themselves to the service of the Tevinter Imperium." _No shit,_ Raven thought and mentally reprimanded herself. The situation earlier with Solas still has her on edge and pissed off.

"An alliance with Tevinter? Do you not fear all of Thedas turning against you?" Cassandra asked calmly.

"I understand that you are afraid but you deserve better than slavery to Tevinter." Solas spoke up from behind Raven. She didn’t turn to look at him though she could feel his eyes gazing down at her.

"As one indentured to a Magister, I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you." Fiona stated, ignoring Cassandra's and Solas's words. Raven looked down, took a deep breath, and looked up to the scene playing out before her.

"An alliance with Tevinter is a terrible mistake." Christopher argued calmly though from Raven's vantage point she could see his fists curled, knuckles white.

"All hope of peace died with Justinia." Fiona countered, "This bargain with Tevinter would not have been my first choice but we had no choice. We are losing this war, I needed to save as many of my people as I could." She finished and looked heartbroken. Back in the game Raven could always empathize with the woman but that had always been the extent of whatever she felt. It hurt being in the same room with her and seeing the pain and sadness in person. She was eager to leave already but the sudden slam of the tavern door meant Alexius had just arrived. Raven glanced over to see the older man in his red hood walking toward them, followed by his son Felix and a few Tevinter guards.

"Welcome my friends. I apologize for not greeting you earlier." He said, almost happily and Raven clenched her jaw, glaring at him, hoping he would suffer before too long.

"Agents of the Inquisition, allow me to introduce Magister Gereon Alexius." Fiona announced and looking at the woman Raven also noticed a subtle glare and had to smile. Little did Raven know that Varric's eyes had barely left her since they entered the tavern.

"The southern mages are under my command." He informed now standing next to the Enchanter, his eyes settling on Christopher, "And you are the survivor, yes? The one from the fade? Interesting." _I'm sure it is interesting,_ Raven thought and ground her teeth together.

"I'd like to know more about this alliance between the rebel mages and the Imperium." Christopher requested and Raven was surprised that his tone seemed more curious now than what it had been.

"Certainly. What specifically do you wish to know?" Alexius asked.

"The Grand Enchanter told me she was indentured to a Magister." He didn't like the games the Magister was playing and after requesting the confirmation he looked back at Fiona again.

"Our southern brethren have no legal status in the Imperium." The Magister explained, "As they were not born citizens of Tevinter they must work for a period of ten years before gaining full rights. As their protector, I shall oversee their work for the Imperium." Raven brought her hands up and started to pick at her fingers. Why didn't she expect wanting to punch him in the face?

"I'm not clear on when, exactly, you negotiated this arrangement with Fiona." She could hear the fake pleasantness in his voice and looked up to see Alexius looking at her. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes remaining on her as he opened his mouth to speak again.

"When the Conclave was destroyed these poor souls faced the brutality of the Templars who rushed to attack them. It could only be through Divine providence that I arrived when I did." _Divine fucking providence, indeed._ Raven ground out to herself as she bit the inside of her cheek.

"It was certainly… very timely." Fiona mused. It was obvious to see that she didn't quiet believe the Magister's words. No one did.

"What does the Imperium gain from taking rebel mages under its wing?" Christopher asked, not entirely sure he could continue watching the act before him.

"For the moment the southern mages are a considerable expense. After they are properly trained they will join our legion." Raven bit down harder on the inside of her cheek but released the tension when she tasted blood. She knew what that her companions were thinking the same.

"You said not all my people would be military! There are children, those not suited -" Fiona began to object but stopped when Alexius turned to her.

"And one day, I'm sure they will all be productive citizens of the Imperium. When their debts are paid." He was such a scumbag. After her first mage play through she began to skip what he'd said entirely. Unfortunately she didn't get that option and she could feel herself start to fidget, even more when she felt a hand on her shoulder. The hand felt warm, even though her armor and Raven had to resist the urge to lean back against whoever the hand belonged to.

"If you're leading the mages now then let's talk. I'm sure we can come to an agreement." Christopher insisted, smiling at the man as he tried desperately to be pleasant.

"It is always a pleasure to meet with a reasonable man." Alexius happily replied and motioned for Christopher to take a seat at a nearby table. Raven looked up at Fiona to see the woman appear to be near tears as she stood there. "Felix would you send for a scribe please? Pardon my manners, My son Felix, friends." And she thought her introductions were half ass, Raven thought with a roll of her eyes. Felix bowed and disappeared. "I am not surprised you're here," Alexius continued once his son was gone, 'Containing the Breach is not a feat that many could even attempt. There is no telling how many mages would be needed for such an endeavor. Ambitious indeed." She hated him.

"Well when you're fighting a massive tear in the sky you can hardly afford to think small." Christopher replied letting sarcasm lightly coat his tone.

"There will have to be-" Alexius started but was cut off as Felix came in again, stumbling and looking paler than when he'd left. Impressive, Raven thought as she smiled at the doomed son. She liked him. Christopher was the first to stand up, followed by Alexius and a moment later Felix fell, taking Christopher down with him. She caught the exact second the note the son of the Magister had written passed to her friend. His eyes widened but to his credit he hid it well "Felix!" Alexius exclaimed. Raven's heart grew heavy as Felix addressed Christopher from his knees.

"My Lord, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." _No sweet child. Don't ask for forgiveness. Just let me hug you and it will all be okay._ Shit, Raven thought. She looked away.

"Are you alright?" The boys father asked, concern evident in his voice. Felix looked up at Alexius.

"I'm fine Father." He insisted but Alexius, to Raven's small respect, wouldn't let it go. It was nice seeing a concerned, dedicated father.

"Come. Let me get your powders. Please excuse me, Friends. We will have to continue this another time. Fiona I require your assistance back at the castle." Felix, Alexius, and Fiona made their way out of the tavern. As they passed Felix looked at Raven.

"I don't mean to trouble everyone." He said quietly. She fought the urge to reach out to him.

"I shall send word to the Inquisition. We will conclude this business at a later date." Once the three and their guards were gone Raven turned around to see Solas behind her. His hand still rested on her shoulder. Without saying a word she left the group leaving Varric, Bull, Cassandra, Christopher, and Solas to discuss what she already knew. They didn't need her point of view and likely wouldn't trust what she had to say. It fucking sucked.

 

Solas watched the young girl from his spot in the small circle Christopher had gathered as they spoke about the note Alexius's son had given him. He didn't trust it but knew the Imperium wouldn't outright attack just yet. He couldn't understand her; throughout the meeting with the Magister and discussing the fate of the mages he could feel the rage flowing off her to the point where he'd rested a hand on her shoulder to ease some calming magic into her. He was there for her, he wanted to convey that in the only way he could at the time. Her body no longer shook after that but he could tell she wanted to do something. What, he wasn't sure. She spoke to a mage in the corner, probably about a year older than her. She smiled at him at first and he watched as her smile started to fade.

"Raven," Christopher called out and the girl looked over to him from her place next to the man, "We have to stop somewhere before we head to Val Royeaux. Are you ready?" He asked and she nodded. Solas watched her as she bid goodbye to the young man only for him to stop her. As she continued to talk to the man Christopher and the rest of her companions, including Solas made their way to the entrance just in time to see her smile again. Christopher stopped when she put a hand on his arm.

"Christopher this is Clemence," She introduced, "He's an alchemist. Apparently Alexius is against tranquil mages so he's looking to join the Inquisition. You said we needed all the help we can get." She introduced and Solas watched as Christopher smiled politely and welcomed him. It would be nice to have more mages in the Inquisition.

 

"Good! You're finally here. Now help me close this, would you?" The strange man asked as he killed the last demon for the moment. Raven could tell the giant rift and the adorable Tevinter man weren't what Christopher or any of the party were expecting. She drew out her daggers and lunged forward as the rift started to react again and demons poured out of it.

 _She's like a shadow_ , Christopher thought to himself as he watched her take down demon after demon. He wasn't able fully to watch her as he wanted, using lightening to stun a couple of the bastards, but she was always there in his line of sight lunging, crouching, her limbs stretching as she gracefully moved around the spells he and Solas cast and the holes from the rift that seemed to warp time. Once it was all over and the rift was closed she sheathed her weapons and stood in silence against one of the stone pillars. He wondered if she knew that her hair had become loose.

"Fascinating," The Tevinter mage said causing Christopher to turn and look at him, "How does that work exactly?" The mage laughed, "You don’t even know, do you? You just wiggle your fingers and boom! Rift closes." He was so much sassier in person and Raven couldn't suppress the tiny giggle that left her mouth. Cassandra moved closer to her.

"Mind telling me what's so funny?" She mumbled, clearly not amused. The redhead rolled her eyes and motioned to Dorian. She could call him that now since he'd just introduced himself to Christopher and the party.

"Come on," Raven exclaimed softly, "He's adorable!" Cassandra ignored her statement but made no move to leave her side.

"Another Tevinter, be cautious with this one." She advised and Raven groaned, the woman was always so mistrusting. It was starting to become annoying.

"Suspicious friends you have here." Dorian observed and Raven had to smile at the attitude in his tone. "Magister Alexius was once my mentor so my assistance should be valuable - As I'm sure you can imagine."

"You're betraying your mentor because…?" Christopher trailed off, not understanding why the man, Dorian, was willing to help. He looked over toward Raven to see the girl was still smiling, her hair whisked around from their previous fight.

"Alexius _was_ my mentor. Meaning he's not any longer, not or some time." Dorian answered, "Look, you must know there's danger. That should be obvious even without the note." Why did it seem much more dramatic in real life than it had in the game? Raven looked away from Dorian and Christopher and let her eyes travel to Cassandra, Bull, Varric, and Solas. All were watching the interaction and taking in the information. So many questions, she imagined.

"You trust him, don't you?" Cassandra whispered suddenly causing Raven to jump. The two women looked at each other and after a few seconds the younger girl smiled.

"Does it really matter who I decide to trust?" She whispered back and felt Cassandra glare at her, "You're not going to trust me anyway and still treat me like an insect on your boot so I fail to see how or why my choices and opinions mean shit to you." Cassandra remained silent so Raven looked to Christopher and Dorian again to hear how the Tevinter mage explain how Alexius altered time. The rest of the party seemed shocked but Raven was so annoyed she didn’t even bother putting on a surprised face.

"I know what I'm talking about," Dorian argued, "I helped develop this magic. When I was still his apprentice it was pure theory. Alexius could never get it to work. What I don't understand is why he's doing it? Ripping time to shreds just to gain a few hundred lackeys?" Raven smiled to herself, _Queue dramatic entrance from the Magister's son,_ she thought and mentally reprimanded herself afterwards. Sarcasm always helped lighten her mood but it wasn't the time.

"He didn't do it for them." Felix announced. Raven saw his eyes fix on Dorian's, then Christopher's, and then hers. Why was he staring at her? She wasn't important in their conversation, just a slightly pissed off onlooker.

"Took you long enough. Is he getting suspicious?" Dorian asked and Felix looked at the man again.

No," Felix answered, "but I shouldn't have played the illness card. I thought he'd be fussing over me all day. My father's joined a cult. Tevinter supremacists. They call themselves 'Venatori' and I can tell you one thing: Whatever he's done for them he's done it to get to you." Christopher seemed to ignore the young mans words.

"Alexius is your father. Why are you working against him?" Christopher asked.

"For the same reason Dorian works against him." Felix explained, "I love my father and I love my country. But this? Cults? Time magic? What he's doing now is madness. For his own sake you have to stop him." _Such a sweet, devoted son._ Raven mused and looked down to play with her hands. Would Christopher become upset if she left to get someone else to help with the Inquisition?

"It would also be nice if he didn't rip a hole in time. There's already a hole in the sky." She heard Dorian remark and subtly nodded in agreement with his words.

"Why would he rearrange time and indenture the mage rebellion just to get to me?" Christopher asked, still not completely understanding from what Raven could tell. He had no idea who he was and what he was destined to become. It saddened her a bit.

"They're obsessed with you but I don't know why. Perhaps because you survived the Temple of Sacred Ashes?" Felix suggested and Raven looked up in time to see Christopher look down at his mark with a frown on his face.

"You can close the rifts. Maybe there's a connection or they see you as a threat?" Dorian was giving suggestions too.

"If the Venatori are behind those rifts, or the Breach in the sky, they're even worse than I thought." Felix continued speaking and Raven let out a soft sigh. They had no idea how much worse it was.

"All this for me?" Christopher almost sounded sad, "And here I didn't get Alexius anything." Raven giggled while Cassandra let out a disgruntled noise.

"Send him a fruit basket. Everyone loves those." Dorian quipped before turning serious again, "You know you're his target. Expecting the trap is the first step in turning it to your advantage. I can't stay in Redcliff. Alexius doesn't know I'm here and I want to keep it that way for now but whenever you're ready to deal with them I want to be there. I'll be in touch." He started walking toward the side passageway instead of the front door and then stopped, turning to Felix. "And Felix? Try not to get yourself killed."

Raven continued to watch Felix as Dorian made an exit. To the young mans surprise and to the surprise of everyone else remaining in the chantry Raven stood up straight and with as much graceful speed as she had while fighting earlier she reached Felix in mere seconds. He was about two inches taller than her but that made no difference when she reached up her toes and wrapped him in a quick hug. She knew if she ever saw him again it wouldn't be the time and he would die within a month or so. It was unfair, he seemed so sweet.

"I know it hurts," She whispered while using the groups shock to her advantage, "But you're a good man whose doing the right thing." He stared down at her as she released him from her hug and stepped away. He smiled at her, a real smile instead of the sad ones he'd probably been showing. He bent down and without his smile fading kissed Raven lightly on the cheek and left. She never felt anything romantic towards the boy but her heart broke as she watched the door close after him.

"What in the hell was that about?" Cassandra yelled, walking to the girl and grabbing her arm to turn around. Raven closed her eyes, holding back tears, and once she was sure they were gone she opened them and looked to Cassandra again. She really wasn't in the mood to be in Redcliff or even the Hinterlands anymore. She was done being mistrusted and looked down on.

"He's going to die." Raven answered angrily. Cassandra stepped back, her face dropping the anger it held. "You might not care about anyone but yourself but he'll live another month or two at most. I have no ulterior motive Cassandra. I'm not out for anything but he deserved something real that wasn't his father or hired guards or indentured mages. Everyone deserves comfort once in a while and that smile he gave me before he left was worth it." With a deep breath she turned to Christopher, "I'm going back to Haven. I'll help out with Harritt and do what needs to be done around there but I'll be fucking damned before I do this type of shit again with people like _her_." Tears left Raven's eyes as she walked out of the Chantry, the door slamming shut. Outside she took a second to calm down before looking over to see Sister Tanner. With a deep breath she masked any pain she felt and made her way over to the young woman. The Inquisition could always use another agent.

 

It was quiet inside the Chantry as Raven's words still hung between the remaining party members. Cassandra was silent, not sure what to say. Solas stared at the door contemplating and wondering how she knew. It was obvious to him that Felix had been infected with the blight but he'd said nothing to her or anyone else, there hadn't been time. Varric was fighting the urge to follow after his new friend but knew he'd never catch up, the girl was way too fast. Bull and Christopher thought the same.

"She was right." Solas finally broke the silence and everyone looked at him, "I've seen a lot of things in my travels and blight sickness is one of them. Felix doesn't have long."

"So now that we know what's going on should we head back to Haven?" Varric asked and before Christopher could answer Solas spoke up again.

"No, we still have to go to Val Royeaux. Also while we were in the center of town earlier Raven spoke to some of the citizens and offered to help them. It helps gain influence for the Inquisition. If you would like to head back I can finish what needs to be done." Solas wasn't sure why he was offering. Christopher looked to the Chantry door, hoping she'd come in saying she changed her mind, but when it didn't open he looked back to the Elven apostate.

"No," He finally answered, "We'll help you."

 _Well Shit,_ Varric thought to himself as he followed the others. Upon leaving they were stopped by a Sister who pledged her service to them. It was when she described Raven that he smiled.

"She's really giving everything she can isn't she?" Varric commented loud enough for Cassandra to hear. Bull laughed, urging his mind to get back in the game instead of focusing on how he truly felt.

"Did you expect anything else?" His reply was rhetorical and together they made their way out of Redcliff. Who knew how long their journey would take without her.


	6. Making Nice

With the help of her horse it only took Raven two and a half days to reach Haven from the Hinterlands. A message must've been sent because Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana were standing by the gates waiting for her arrival. Part of Raven wanted to hope that they waited because they missed her but the logical part knew they just wanted to hear what happened. She was silent as she stopped her horse in front of them, dismounted, and hugged the two women. She addressed Cullen by his title. They watched as she walked her horse over to the stables and started unpacking what she'd brought, which hadn't been much.

The three advisors stood there assessing the young woman quietly. She looked absolutely exhausted; her skin was paler than normal, her hair was loose and windblown, and her eyes were bloodshot though they couldn’t determine the cause. At some point on her way back she'd stripped her armor and was wearing a pair of her black pants, black boots, and one of her sleeveless shirts. Her harness remained strapped to her though, the obsidian daggers sparkled in the sunlight. She motioned to them that she needed a moment and took one of the big bags the horse was carrying to Harritt who was busy at the forge. He stood up for her and they noticed the smile on his face as she handed him a bag. The older man looked through it and suddenly tried to offer her money which they saw her graciously decline before making her way back to them. She had another smaller bag strapped to her hip that they had failed to notice.

"He was short on drakestone and onyx before we left." She explained once she reached the three still patiently waiting. Cullen looked down and motioned to the other bag attached to her waist. She looked down and smiled at it. "Elfroot and blood lotus for Adan. Mother Giselle's request was already filled in the Hinterlands." Raven explained. The three looked at her strangely.

"We're happy to see you made it back." Leliana greeted, "I admit I was worried when one of my agents told me you'd left earlier than the others. It's good to see you're okay."

"Why _did_ you return so early?" Cullen asked, clearly not knowing what had happened. Raven sighed and looked down at the snow covered ground feeling it become very hard to look at them. During her ride back she'd had time to think and realized that running off hadn't been the most mature choice.

"It was just a difference of opinion and in the end I felt that it would be better for the party if I came back early." She explained. "I know I'm not the Herald or an official member of the Inquisition but I was there in Redcliff and met with the mages. Would you like my debriefing now or once everyone gets back?" While Josephine and Cullen accepted her offer, Leliana looked at the girl standing before her already knowing why she left but chose to remain silent on the matter. She wanted to hear what Raven had to say. Once they were outside the Chantry Raven stopped and smiled when the three turned to her.

"I'll be right back," She promised, "I need to get these to Adan." Leliana nodded her consent and watched as Raven ran off to the apothecary. They continued their walk inside, heading to the war room.

"She's hiding something." Cullen said quietly, something Josephine and Leliana already knew. Neither of the women had a chance to reply because Raven had appeared at the door to the room not even ten seconds later. They stood around the war table watching her as she closed the door, grabbed one of the chairs in the corner, and straddled the back of it.

"I don't know what your agents have told you Leliana." Raven admitted. She probably knew everything already. The spymaster held up the paper with a broken wax seal.

"I know you left early from the Hinterlands." She explained, "My agents contact me if there's a change in plans such as delays or early retreats." Raven nodded and looked down, her hair falling around her face and shoulders.

"The free mages allied with Tevinter." She revealed and flinched as Cullen slammed his gloved hand down on the table. She looked up to see the anger on his face and the shock on Josephine's. Even Leliana's normal blank expression had changed, her eyes were wide. Raven guessed that news wasn't in the note that was sent.

"You're sure of this?" The Spymaster asked and Raven nodded.

"Before we entered the city we encountered a rift different from the others. It seemed to have control over time. Speeding up and slowing down.. Once it was closed and we entered Redcliff we were told that no one was expecting us and Grand Enchanter Fiona was no longer in charge. When we met up at the tavern she revealed that they all pledged themselves to Tevinter." Raven recalled the events, brushing hair from her eyes, "Since they're not legal citizens they have to serve ten years as indentured servants and Magister Alexius revealed that once they become legal after ten years they have to join the military."

"How can that possibly happen?" Josephine asked astonished, "I know the Grand Enchanter. Why would she go from fighting for freedom to slavery?" Cullen nodded in agreement.

"According to her they had no choice. She also denied coming to Val Royeaux and speaking to Christian, claiming she hasn't been to the city since before the conclave. After the explosion at the Temple of Sacred Ashes Magister Alexius came to the mages and offered them protection from the Templars." The room grew silent. Raven looked to all three advisors and could practically feel the wheels turning in their heads.

"He showed up right after the explosion?" Leliana repeated to clarify.

"That's what both Alexius and Fiona said. When Christopher requested to talk of negotiations the Magister's son pretended to be ill and handed Christopher a note to go to the Chantry." She moved on, explaining the events to the best of her ability and trying to ignore the sadness seeping through her calm exterior as she thought of Felix. It had never bothered her before and the sudden emotion was growing tiresome very quickly.

"Why would he do something like that?" Cullen asked, "Surely it was a trap."

"We went to the chantry and met a Tevinter mage named Dorian. Alexius used to be his mentor and he explained of time magic Alexius had been working on. Felix appeared during the explination and stated that his father had joined a cult called the Venatori. They're after Christopher because of the mark on his hand, because he survived the explosion."

The three advisors stood completely silent looking down at the girl straddling the back of the chair. Her eyes didn't leave them. How could what she was saying be true? Tevinter had been a problem in the past but why on earth would they indenture mages because of Christopher? Raven seemed to sense their disbelief. Leliana caught notice of the girls' shoulders slumping and the change in breaths she took. Raven could tell them, she thought. Changing what she knew so it sounded like a theory had worked for her in the past, granted she was back home and the situation was different but there was no reason why it couldn't work if she chose her words right. Even if Christopher was still away it would save them time from trying to figure out their motive and also give them time to come up with a plan about what to do.

"I have a theory." Raven finally said. They looked hesitant, waiting for her to continue. "It's fairly obvious and safe to say that we know Christopher ending up with the mark wasn't due to his own wishes."

"No one could possibly expect that." Josephine agreed. Raven stood up from the chair and quickly jerked her body; a quick but loud series of cracks filled the room before she sat down again and began playing with her fingers. She felt exposed without her sweatshirt and silently cursed herself for not grabbing it before the debriefing.

"Can you imagine what that mark could do in the hands of Tevinter?" Raven asked, "Or in the hands of anyone who wished to cause harm?" Judging by the realization of Leliana's face it was obvious she was beginning to see the picture. Cullen and Josephine caught on seconds later.

"Could that be possible?" Cullen asked and the young girl shrugged.

"You know magic more than I do." Raven answered, not necessarily meaning it in the slightest, but it was best to play long. "If someone wanted to use magic to manipulate time they could go back and be at that conclave during the explosion. They would need the Herald for that but like I said it's just a theory." To her surprise Cullen walked around the table and couched in front of her. Looking up to come face to face with the Commander, Raven jumped back and off the chair. No longer close he stood up but made no move toward her.

"It's definitely something to consider. Have you mentioned this to the Herald?" Josephine asked and Raven threw the woman a look of pure incredulity, "No, you wouldn't have had time to. You mentioned there was a disagreement of sorts that caused you to leave. May I ask what happened?" Before Raven could answer she was cut off by her stomach growling, loud and angry catching Josephine, Cullen, and Leliana by surprise.

"Sorry, it's been a day or so." Raven apologized sheepishly and the three elders looked to each other before turning back to her.

"Since you've eaten?" Cullen clarified and Raven nodded.

"I didn't have time to pack food before leaving Redcliff. I'll get something from Flissa on my way back to the tent." Raven's nonchalance bothered them, Cullen especially and Raven looked away as he glared down at her.

"That's two days." Josephine noted. "Commander would you please get some food and bring it back here?" Shit, Raven thought. Stupid stomach. Cullen didn't say anything as he left, closing the door as he did so.

"If it helps I had a couple of the regeneration potions and ate some of the elfroot leaves meant for Adan." She started before the two women could announce their annoyance. Josephine let out a long breath.

"That helps very little actually." Josephine answered. "If you can control it please make sure it doesn't happen again." Raven had to bite back the smile as a thought from an old play passed through her mind. _Imminently practical and yet appropriate as always._ She knew they would fail to see the humor so just nodded.

"I apologize for being so careless." She said quietly.

"So why did you leave early?" Leliana asked noticing how Raven started picking at her fingers again.

"The Magister's son was infected by the blight." Raven explained, surprising the two women but they didn't say anything, "If you know what to look for it's fairly obvious and he has less than two months left. He's betraying his father and his country to help us all while knowing the consequences if he's caught. Magister's son or not, Felix will die if found out."

"Of course," Leliana acknowledged, "Treason is not looked upon and dealt with lightly."

"When we got to the Hinterlands I scouted a part of the area. Christopher had a lot of things to do between talking to the Warden, dealing with the wolves, and recruiting Master Dennet. I knew where to go and we managed to get a weeks worth of work done in three days. They were grateful but whenever I was away or they thought I couldn't hear…" Raven paused when the door opened. Cullen had a tray in one of his hands; on it was a bowl and a glass. He put it down on the war table and proceeded to glare at Raven until she moved the chair forward, picked up the spoon, and took a bite of the stew Flissa had prepared. Three bites later she put the spoon down and saw that they were still watching her.

"What's going on?" Cullen asked. Raven didn't address him, her eyes falling on the two women who were waiting patiently for her to continue, already having an idea of what had occurred.

"I'm not a criminal." Raven told them and looked down to avoid seeing their reactions. "My training has made sure that I am far from harmless but I have no malicious intent or agenda towards anyone here or the Inquisition; I'm just trying to make the best of the situation I was thrown into. Cassandra doesn’t seem to understand that. Solas and Christopher don't seem to either." She was met with silence and her heart sank. Part of Raven wanted to cry and the other part wanted to spar until she fell from exhaustion. Instead she put on a blank face and looked up to see Cullen and Josephine looking away. Leliana was the only one to make eye contact and she had to wonder what was going through the spymaster's head.

"Did they say anything to you?" Leliana quietly asked.

"Aside from Cassandra still thinking I'm a spy and Christopher having Solas search for proof in the fade?" Raven asked. "I understand the scrutiny and know that trust isn't something easily gained but I'm questioned and met with such mistrust and what seems like hatred for everything I do. Leliana did you know I met Connor?" The girl asked and the spymaster visibly stiffened for a moment before relaxing again.

"Do you mean Eamon's son?" Cullen asked and Raven nodded.

"A woman in the village told me about him when I asked her about Redcliff's history. Solas not only followed me, but stood there as we spoke, and even grabbed my arm afterwards while demanding to know how I knew him. Once we met and spoke with Dorian in the Chantry I hugged Felix as he was about to leave. He's sick and knowing what could happen if his actions are found out… Like I said before, he's choosing the Inquisition over his father and country. I won't have my character questioned because I choose to show compassion toward someone who needs it!" By the time she was done Raven was standing again, pacing, her hands shaking. Cullen and Leliana started to move toward the young girl but Josephine was to her before they even knew she moved. She gently grabbed Raven's hand and didn’t flinch even when the girl jumped, clearly not expecting the sudden contact.

"It's alright." She said quietly. Raven stared at her and then her eyes went to the other two in the room. When they landed on Cullen any signs of distress she seemed to be going through were stopped in its tracks. The last thing she needed was for the Commander to think she couldn't handle herself and not allow her to train again.

"I apologize for how I just acted, it was unprofessional. Do I have to put in a formal request to remain here from now on instead of going with them in the field?" She asked and Josephine hesitated.

"That is something you'll have to discuss with the Herald." She finally answered and Raven nodded. She'd already done that before she left. With a small smile to her and the other two, Raven took her hand back and walked toward the door.

"I'll be in my tent if you need anything else from me." She announced respectfully, addressing Leliana, Josephine, and Cullen like the officials they were before leaving the room. It was silent after she left, each of them lost in their own minds and thoughts.

"Leliana what's your opinion on this?" Cullen finally asked. His words had been so unexpected that it caused both Leliana and Josephine to jump in surprise. The spymaster looked away from the door and to the Commander and smiled. She had to smile. In the last hour more questions had been answered about the girl than even Leliana had expected.

"I've never seen her react that way before..." Josephine trailed off.

"Honestly?" She asked and Cullen nodded, eager to see if they were sharing the same thought, "I am no longer questioning where her loyalties lie." Her words were met with a chuckle from the Commander.

"Glad to know I'm not the only one." He muttered softly.

 

It wasn't until a week after Raven's early arrival from the Hinterlands that Leliana received a letter from The Herald, first wanting to know if Raven had made it back safely and after his concern had been expressed the rest of the letter consisted of updating her on how their trip was progressing. He'd told her of Raven's helpfulness with what they had to do and recruiting Blackwall before she left and how much longer everything took with her absence. They'd finally finished in the Hinterlands and were traveling to Val Royeaux to investigate the Red Jenny letters from their time in the city before as well as attend the ball Madame de Fer had cordially invited them to. He'd also informed her of the agents Raven had recruited and let her know to expect one to arrive within the next week, a tranquil alchemist named Clemence. Raven had spoken to him after the meeting with Fiona and Magister Alexius. They expected to be back in Haven within a week.

In the time Raven had been back she threw herself into anything that would keep her mind busy; most of her time was spent with either Cullen's soldiers or Bull's chargers training and learning new techniques. Stitches, Bull's designated healer, had even taught her to make a couple poisons to coat her blades with if she ever needed the extra damage boost. During her down time she was usually found helping others; Adan was teaching her more about the herbs and even showing her ones that couldn’t be gathered in the game, Harritt taught her basic blacksmithing and how to read weapon and armor schematics, and when Flissa didn't need help serving drinks and food Raven was usually in the tavern anyway, having decided that drawing and writing would be fun to get into again. It had taken her a while to get used to the feel and texture of the new paper she'd been given by Josephine and was absolutely thrilled to learn how to use a quill and ink. She had yet to see her pen case and notebooks since she'd left it and her stories with Varric before the trip and would likely never see them again.

"You're very good." A voice said from right next to her causing Raven to jump and drop the quill she was using onto the table. When she looked up her eyes met Cullen's and she smiled. His hand flew to the back of his neck and he let out a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Raven put the stopper back into the tiny bottle of black ink and she moved the quill onto an old napkin, her outline seeming to be no longer important as she motioned for him to take a seat in the chair next to her.

"No need to apologize Commander." Raven insisted. Cullen stared down at her for another moment before taking a seat next to her. "I take it the soldiers are done training for the day?" She asked and he nodded.

"They're a strong bunch," He commented, "smart too. Thank you for helping them with training. So many are new and don't realize all we're up against. Your styles, although different, at least teach them to be ready for more than just shields and swords." He explained watching Raven brush the hair that had fallen into her face as she was hunched over the table back behind her ears while leaning back in her chair. He recalled Varric sitting in that chair on more than one occasion and had to smile at how small she seemed to be compared to the thing.

"It's not a problem. They get to learn and I get to stay in shape, killing two birds with one stone." Raven said happily, making light of the compliment. Cullen noticed that she didn't handle them well and learned to not take it too personally.

"I want to apologize again for my reluctance. I shouldn't have brushed off your request like I did without hearing you through and giving you a chance. It was wrong of me." He wanted to continue his explanation but when he looked over at her and saw her still smiling, clearly amused and he was suddenly at a loss for words.

"You are entirely too proper Commander." Raven finally said, "It's just us and I'm no one to impress." He watched in silence as she readjusted her position, bringing her legs up and resting her chin on them, never breaking eye contact. Cullen had to wonder if she knew how intimidating she seemed.

"I don't see why you feel that way." He replied, "You're a woman worthy of respect." Flissa came and set down two mugs of what he assumed was ale and two plates. Cullen's had meat and potatoes while the one she'd set closer to Raven, to the right of her papers had a smaller piece of meat, what had to have been a spoonful of potatoes, a cut up apple, and some grapes. He noticed the way the barmaid smiled at Raven before walking away.

"She's using a new recipe." Raven said quietly as Cullen waited for her to take the first bite of her food. Not many men observed that sort of chivalry anymore but growing up in a house full of women it was a part of him like many other things. When she noticed he made no move to start eating she threw him a questioning look, "Everything alright?"

"Yes, of course." He answered while realizing she must not have understood. "It's usually polite for a man to wait until a woman starts eating first." His explanation made him feel silly, especially when her eyes widened like she'd never even heard of the custom. He noticed the way her cheeks turned a light shade of pink as she reached out, grabbed a grape, and put it to her lips to take a bite. Once it was gone he smiled at her.

"It's... it's usually meant for dinner companions that aren't family. Is that custom something you're not used to?" He asked while picking up his utensils and cutting into the meat. She shook her head silently, picking up a piece of apple. There was a soft crack as she bit the piece in half.

"Back home the only men I saw and interacted with on a daily or regular basis were usually part of my family or my dads military friends," She explained, "a father, two uncles, a grandfather on my father's side, and six father figures from the military. All were trainers. I had two friends back home; both girls and both my age." Cullen listened quietly, noticing the smile on her face as she spoke of those closest to her. He wondered if she spoke of them to anyone else of it was just him.

"You've never had…" He started to ask but then trailed off, not sure if it were appropriate to inquire about such a thing. She seemed to catch on but she just shrugged.

"I had a boyfriend once." She answered his unfinished question quietly, "He fell for the image of an innocent and harmless tiny ginger girl." Cullen watched as she let out a small giggle. "No one expects a girl barely five feet, two inches tall who weighs ninety-five pounds dripping wet to have the skill set that I have. It ended rather quickly once he found out. 'Too intimidating' and 'not right for a girl to have' were his words." She finished and took another grape from her plate.

"Was he jealous?" Cullen found himself asking only to earn another laugh from her.

"No man wants a woman who can fight as good, if not better, than him." She replied and was surprised at how much that statement seemed to hurt her. She didn't show it though and instead smiled at Cullen who was silent, staring at her. "What about you Commander, any girlfriends to speak of?" She was rewarded when his cheeks turned pink. Olivia, her friend back home would've had so much fun with him.

"Why would you…" He started and brought his hand to the back of his neck, "No. I mean, I've been with women before but there's no one right now." Raven almost felt bad for the embarrassment she was causing the poor man but couldn't deny that it was absolutely adorable and too hard to pass up.

"You need to relax commander." She told him again. He was about to reply when the door to the tavern opened to reveal Varric and Bull. They were halfway to their normal table when both noticed Raven seated in the dwarf's usual spot and the Commander seated beside her. Forgetting anything else she was about to say to Cullen she jumped up and ran to Varric, throwing herself to him in a hug that almost knocked the dwarf back if Bull hadn’t braced him at the last moment.

"Damn Ginger!" Varric laughed when she finally pulled away only to be taken into the arms of Bull. After a quick hug which brought her off the ground he set her down. She stared up at the large Qunari, still smiling even as he tried his best to appear stern with her. His arms didn't leave her sides.

"You are never allowed to leave again." Bull ordered only to have Raven giggle, worm her way out of his grip, and make her way back to the chair she had been sitting in. Cullen was looking much more professional than he had been when Varric and Bull walked in and both had to wonder if something had been going on between them.

"So how was the trip?" She asked leaning back in her seat while taking another grape from her plate.

"After you left it sucked." Bull said bluntly and wasn't exaggerating. He and Varric had spent the next hour telling her and Cullen what it was like after she'd left. Christopher had barely spoken to Cassandra, they were delayed for another few days in the Hinterlands because of some errands she offered to help with and also met and accepted the offer of a mage who wished to join the Inquisition. Raven knew they were speaking of Vivienne but kept her mouth shut. Bull was the one to mention Sera, describing her as a quirky elf who hated elves but was damn good with a bow. Once Cullen had gotten up to leave, back to addressing Raven as 'Miss O'Hara', and was out the door Varric was the first to begin the interrogation.

"So you and Curly are making nice, huh?" He asked and it caused Raven to choke on her own breath.

"Not in a million years." She answered, "He's cute in a boy scout type of way but couldn't handle me even on his best days. We were going over some training strategies for his soldiers. I've been helping him." She responded, both entertaining and confusing the two older men, not having any idea what a boy scout was.

"Cullen's letting you help train the soldiers?" Bull inquired and Raven nodded.

"I needed the distraction when I came back and he felt my combat styles would prove useful." Raven explained, "I'm sorry I left. It had nothing to do with you two." Bull held up a hand, stopping the young girl.

"No need to explain. Seeker was out of line and I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did." He told her with a small smile. "I think she feels bad for it too." He continued before taking a drink of what Flissa had brought him. Raven watched amused as he coughed a little and tried to tell her how good it was.

"Where are they now anyway?" She asked finally noticing the others had yet to be seen.

"Christopher and Cassandra brought our two newest members to the Chantry for introductions and to report about our wonderful vacation from Haven. Is Blackwall here?" Varric answered and Raven nodded in response to his question. He arrived a day before she had and spent most of his time near the blacksmith. She hadn't talked to him much.

"If he's not over by Harritt he's probably asleep in his tent." She explained finally moving to her small piece of meat on the plate. They noticed in the time she'd been there that could never be called 'eating' when it came to Raven. One plate of food could last her an hour because she'd nibble. They wondered if that method was why she was so small but didn't dare ask. Raven smiled at Varric and Bull from her seat at the table. It was nice to have them back.

 


	7. No Hushed Whispers

It had been four days since the party's arrival when Raven was found among the training grounds and asked to come to the war room. She had been sparing with Krem for the last hour, her hair messy and her shirt damp with sweat despite the cold. Still, she nodded and watched the small elf messenger run off. She looked back and smiled at Bull's second in command and graciously accepted his offer to take her practice daggers so she wouldn't keep them waiting. With a quick, friendly kiss on the cheek she leaned down, grabbed her sweatshirt, and made her way to the chantry while throwing the sweatshirt over her bare shoulders. When she entered the chantry she could already hear the voices of Leliana and Cullen in the war room. They didn't stop the conversation as she quietly opened the door, came in, closed it, and leaned against the wall while watching the conversation she had been so familiar with unfold before her, almost giddy with excitement though she didn't show it.

"We don't have the manpower to take the castle!" Cullen explained to Cassandra, "Either we find another way in or give up this nonsense and go get the Templars."

"Redcliff is in the hands of a Magister. This cannot be allowed to stand." Cassandra argued back much more heatedly than Raven remembered her doing in the game. It was true, what Alexius was planning to do with those mages was unforgivable. Then again, the Templar fate was pretty awful as well.

"The letter from Alexius asked for the Herald of Andraste by name. It's an obvious trap." Josephine added in. Christopher was standing among the three advisors and Cassandra listening to their debate, his eyes on Raven though she did her best to ignore it. They had yet to speak to each other since his return to Haven.

"We can't waste time fighting among ourselves. We have to come to an agreement." Christopher finally said causing everyone in the room except Raven to look at him.

"A Tevinter Magister controls Redcliff, invites us to the castle to talk, and some of us want to do nothing." Even though she wasn't looking at the group anymore Raven knew it was Leliana who spoke and that it was directed towards Josephine.

"Not this again." The beautiful Antivan nearly groaned while glaring at her long time friend. Raven could picture it in her mind and fought the urge to smile.

"Redcliff Castle is one of the most defensive fortresses in Ferelden. It has repelled thousands of assaults." Cullen spoke up. Raven knew he had his hand on the hilt of his sword again and made a mental note to ask him if all warriors did that or if it was just him next time they were alone. "If you go in there you'll die and we'll lose the only means we have of closing these rifts. I won't allow it!"

"And if we don't even try to meet Alexius we lose the mages and leave a hostile foreign power on our doorstep." Leliana argued, clearly growing annoyed.

"Even if we could assault the keep it would be for naught." Josephine added, "An 'Orlesian' Inquisition's army marching into Ferelden would provide a war. Our hands are tied."

"The Magister-" Cassandra went to argue but Cullen cut her off.

"Has outplayed us." He finished for the Seeker. Raven started to pick at the sleeves of her sweatshirt.

"We can't just give up. There has to be something we can do." Christopher said calmly after a few seconds. He caught Raven nodding to herself and looking at everyone but him.

"We cannot accept defeat now. There must be a solution." Cassandra agreed with him. They'd make a cute couple, Raven thought to herself and smiled at the idea. Leliana caught the young girl suppress a laugh but said nothing, they'd talk later.

"Other than the main gate there's got to be another way into the castle. A sewer? A water course? Something?" He was sounding desperate now and not only to Raven's ears. Come on Leliana, Raven ground out unaware that she was becoming fidgety.

"There's nothing I know of that would work." Cullen answered and as much as Raven liked and respected the man she couldn't help the tiny string of curses flowing through her mind.

"Wait," Leliana finally said, "There is a secret passage into the castle, an escape route for the family. It's too narrow for our troops but we could send agents through." Raven let out a small sigh.

"Too risky. Those agents will be discovered well before they reach the Magister." Shut it Cullen, the tinier of the redheads screamed in her mind as she repositioned herself against the wall. She'd have to get a new pair of shoes soon, her feet were starting to hurt.

"That's why we need a distraction. Perhaps the envoy Alexius wants to badly?' Leliana suggested. To Raven's complete surprise Leliana looked directly at her, "What's your opinion on this Raven?" The Spymaster, Cullen, Josephine, Christopher, and Cassandra all looked at the wide eyed girl who was clearly not expecting to participate in the discussion she knew so well.

"It'll work but Christopher can't go alone." Leliana looked at the girl. It was obvious that the Herald wouldn't go unattended but wanted to know what the girl's reasoning was.

"Why?" She asked simply and Cassandra let out a disgruntled noise. Raven didn't move from her spot near the wall but looked directly at the other redhead, then Cullen, and she spoke when her eyes landed on Christopher.

"If he shows up by himself their attention will be exactly that, on just him. It'll be quicker and easier to do something if they wanted to. However, if he shows up with others - even a small party of four - it'll be significantly harder to keep their attention on everyone. They'd most likely be so caught up in making sure the entire party isn't up to something that they won't notice the agents moving in leaving Christopher to do what he needs to do with Alexius." Leliana smiled.

"Keeping attention on Trevelyan while we disable the Magister's defenses; It's a gamble but it could work." Cullen agreed while turning his gaze to Raven who was back to picking at the sleeves of the jacket she wore, a small smile on her face. She didn't look up as the door opened causing everyone else in the room to look to the doorway as a tanned man with dark hair entered. An agent ran behind him.

"Fortunately you'll have help." The stranger announced proudly.

"This man says he has information about the Magister and his methods, Commander." The agent informed addressing Cullen. Raven's smile grew.

"It's great to see you again Dorian." Raven greeted. Dorian looked at the small, oddly dressed rogue and smiled at her, "I hope Haven wasn't too hard to find."

"Not at all my dear, It's wonderful to see you again as well." He returned the sentiment before standing next to Christopher. "Your spies will never get past Alexius's magic without my help so if you're going after him I'm coming along." He announced and Raven had to fight back the fan girl side of her that wanted to dance out of sheer happiness. It was hard.

"The plan puts you in the most danger," Cullen said, looking away from Dorian to Christopher, "We can't, in good conscience, order you to do this. We can still go after the Templars if you'd rather not play the bait. It's up to you."

"No," Christopher countered, "We need to do this. I'll let my party know and we'll head out in the morning." He answered Cullen sternly. Raven could tell the Commander's hesitance towards Mages was starting to bother him. It bothered her too for a time but she couldn't blame him after the Circle of Ferelden and Kirkwall. He just needed more faith and hope in humanity, that was what Olivia, her best friend back home, had always told her while defending him. With his words the meeting seemed to be adjourned and Raven quickly made her way over to Leliana.

"I'm not a member of the Inquisition. Why was I instructed to come here?" She asked quietly. Leliana smiled and looked at something behind Raven, causing her to turn around. Christopher and Cassandra stood there in front of her, Dorian made his way over to the wall where she had stood not a minute before. "What's going on?"

"I apologize for how I treated you in the Hinterlands," Cassandra said after a few moments of silence, "I need to remember that you, like The Herald, are helping us even though you don't have to and it doesn't go unappreciated." Raven stared at the Seeker wondering if she'd hit her head during training with Krem earlier. When Cassandra's eyes met hers Raven felt herself nod.

"As I've told the advisors, I just want to help. Your apology means a lot to me and I hope we can talk again in the future." She replied cordially and noticed the small smile on Christopher's face. "What?"

"I know you said you won't go out into the field again but I want you to come with me when I meet with Alexius." He watched her as he spoke and liked how her eyes seemed to widen in surprise. In his time apart from her he'd forgotten how green those eyes were, standing out from her pale skin and red hair.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" She asked, looking for any objection from Cullen, Josephine, or Leliana, even Cassandra or Dorian but none of them said anything, they just watched the exchange. Raven thought of what she knew would happen, not just to Christopher and Dorian but the others who decided to go with him. If they were really sent into the future he and Dorian would see the outcome of their world, should they fail. He would see the effects of what would happen to the others he brought. She knew the fates of the others but what would hers be? If it really happened would Christopher even tell her? With a small sigh she looked back to the mage to see that he was still staring at her.

"Fine," She said sternly causing Cullen to chuckle from his place two feet away from her, "I'll go on one condition."

"What's the condition?" Christopher asked a little nervous to hear what her mind had conjured up. He'd give it to her though if it meant her coming with him.

"On our way back I get to farm more materials. No farming, no deal." Cassandra watched as Raven stood a little straighter and crossed her arms over her chest and had to roll her eyes. The girl was about six inches shorter than Christopher and a third of his size, possibly half.

"Do Harritt and Adan need more materials?" Christopher asked while confusion and a smile lined his features, "You gathered so much when you were there last time. We brought it all back and gave it to them." She shook her head.

"Harritt has a schematic for a scout coat I'd like to make that seems to be a lot warmer than the sweatshirt I currently have on." Raven explained, "I didn't have a chance to get all the things I needed for it before I left." She watched as Christopher thought about her proposal, or pretended to think. It was obvious she had yet to go into her tent since the coat she was talking about had been there since noon made of fennec fur as she'd wanted. It had required cloth as well to which Christopher had silk brocade added. It had been Cassandra's idea, an apology gift but per the Seeker's request Raven wasn't supposed to know that she had been the one behind it.

"Alright." He finally said "Pack up anything you need, we're leaving early." Christopher said as he turned to leave. Dorian followed behind him. With the exception of the advisors it was only she and Cassandra left in the war room. As Raven made a motion to leave the last thing she expected was the Seeker to gently grab onto her arm. The two women looked at each other and Raven braced herself.

"I'm sorry again." She said and Raven felt herself relax, "I've always been one to judge and act quickly and ask questions later. Thank you for your help." It was silence between the two as Cassandra waited for Raven to reply. She studied the young girls face, looking for any sign of anger or hostility but found none. Instead she was met with a smile.

"Between us, I probably would've been the same way."

 

Since her arrival Raven wondered what it would be like walking into Redcliff castle; to be where so much had happened, where Connor had come into contact with the desire demon and where Arl Eamon had woken with the help of Andraste's ashes. Unfortunately under the Magister's control Raven was slightly disappointed to feel nothing but wrongness and oppression when she'd entered the building alongside Christopher, Cassandra, and Bull. Members of the Venatori stood guard and were silent as they were approached.

"Introduce us." Christopher ordered and was met by a regal looking man in a blue tunic.

"The Magister's invitation was for Master Trevelyan only. The others will have to remain here." He said as he looked past Christopher to the other three with disgust. Raven rolled her eyes and the warriors watched to see what she would do.

"Where I go they go." Christopher said simply and the man said nothing, staring at him as if Christopher would suddenly change his mind. After a few moments he turned around and began ascending the stairs to the main hall, the Inquisition party following behind him while passing Venatori agents, something Raven wasn't happy about. Christopher looked back to Raven and smiled at her; she was wearing the coat he and Cassandra had made for her and she looked absolutely beautiful. When she came out of her tent wearing it the first time he'd made a mental note to himself how her pale skin and copper hair had contrasted against the royal blue and to use it when he could in future armor designs for her.

Alexius sat proudly in the chair that once held Eamon and Teagan and it astounded Raven how angry it had made her. Felix was standing to his side and threw a smile at Raven as she approached with Christopher and other others, it was something she carefully returned without giving too much away. Alexius had smiled at them as well and Raven had to fight the urge to bury one of her daggers into his head.

"My Lord Magister, the agents of the Inquisition have arrived." The snooty guy in the blue tunic announced. Alexius stood up and took a few steps toward Christopher. Felix moved too, Raven wasn't sure why.

"My friend," Alexius exclaimed while doing his best to appear cheerful, "It's so good to see you again. and your associates of course." His eyes fell on Raven. "I'm sure we can work out some arrangement that is equitable to all parties."

"Are we mages to have no voice in deciding our fate?" Fiona asked while coming forward.

"Fiona you would not have turned your followers over to my care if you did not trust me with their lives." Alexius countered in the same annoyingly pleasant voice he used with Christopher not even ten seconds ago. While the other members of her party were growing even more irritated Raven couldn't help but feel the nervous turn in her stomach. It was coming up fast, she thought.

'If the Grand Enchanter wants to be part of these talks then I welcome her as a guest of the Inquisition." Christopher informed while looking at the elf.

"Thank you." She replied, seeming surprised that he'd included her. Alexius turned and walked back to sit in the throne of Arl Teagan and Raven glared at the man.

"The Inquisition needs mages to close the Breach and I have them. So what shall you offer in exchange?" He asked with that stupid smile still on his face. Raven hoped she would be allowed to punch him before the day was out.

"Nothing at all," Christopher said politely. The Magister glared at Raven when she giggled, "I'm just going to take the mages and leave." His attention turned to Christopher.

"And how do you imagine you'll accomplish that feat?" Alexius asked. Felix gave her a final smile and turned toward his father.

"He knows everything, father." The young boy revealed, his voice grave. Any pleasantness Alexius had been trying to portray vanished as he looked at his son. A part of Raven almost felt sympathetic but she quickly shook that off.

"Felix, what have you done?" He asked.

"Your son is concerned that you're involved in something terrible." Christopher explained, hoping the Magister could still see reason.

'So speaks the thief. Do you think you can turn my son against me?" Alexius bit out as he turned to look at Christopher again. Felix continued to look at his father. "You walk into my stronghold with your _stolen_ mark - a gift you don't even understand - and think you're in control?" Alexius stood up and took a few steps toward Christopher. Raven knew he wouldn't attack, not yet, but she could feel her instincts screaming at her to protect him. "You're nothing but a mistake." He finished.

"What do you know about the Divine's death?" Christopher asked, not expecting the way the conversation was turning.

"It was the Elder One's moment and you were unworthy even to stand in his presence!" Alexius exclaimed.

"Father listen to yourself. Do you know what you sound like?" Felix asked, growing worried. Raven's eyes shot to her left where she knew Dorian would emerge. _Queue the sexy, man loving Tevinter necromancer in 3… 2… 1._

"He sound exactly like the sort of villanous cliché everyone expects us to be." Dorian remarked as he emerged from behind a pillar. _Totally called it!_ , Raven thought as a proud smile briefly formed on her face before her attention was back on the situation at hand, the conversation between Christopher, Dorian, and Alexius.

"Dorian." The tone Alexius used to address the man was that of addressing a man who slaughtered your entire family. Sadness, betrayal, and anger ebbed in his voice. "I gave you a chance to be a part of this. You turned me down. The Elder One has power you would not believe, He will raise the Imperium from it's own ashes."

"That's who you serve? The one who killed the Divine? Is he a mage?" Christopher asked, the anger in his voice clear as day.

"Soon he will become a God." Alexius answered him, reverence obvious, "He will make the world bow to mages once more. We will rule from the Boeric Ocean to the Frozen Seas."

"You can't involve my people in this!" Fiona shouted. Dorian stepped forward.

"Alexius, this is exactly what you and I talked about never wanting to happen. Why would you support this?" Raven looked at Felix as Dorian spoke. When she nodded at him he turned to address Alexius.

"Stop it Father. Give up the Venatori, let the southern mages fight the Breach and let's go home." He tried to reason as Alexius turned his back on the party. He turned to Felix.

 "No! It's the only way, Felix. He can save you." Alexius told his son, almost sounding broken in Raven's ears.

"Save me?" Felix sounded angry.

"There is a way. The Elder One promised. If I undo the mistake at the Temple…" He tried to explain but trailed off. Felix glared at his father.

"I'm going to die, you need to accept that!" Raven felt Cassandra's eyes on her but she continued to watch the Magister.

"Seize them Venatori. The Elder One demands this man's life!" He ordered and from the corner of her eye she saw and heard Cassandra start to draw her sword. Raven held off on drawing her weapons as the sounds of knives cutting flesh, cracking, and groaning filled the room followed by bodies, one after another, falling to the floor.

"Your men are dead Alexius." Christopher stated the obvious.

"You are a mistake!" Alexius sneered, "You never should have existed." It was time, Raven knew as Alexius's green locket started to glow causing Dorian to cry out and before Raven knew what happened the green rift had appeared, disappeared, and Christopher and Dorian were gone.

 

He had landed in something cold and wet and his mind briefly wondered if that was how Raven felt when she woke up in the snow two miles outside Haven. A quick look around before the two guards showed up made it fairly obvious both he and Dorian were in a prison cell, water coming up to their knees and still dripping. In large clumps along the walls were red lyrium like what he'd seen at the Temple of Sacred Ashes and the Hinterlands and the place smelled of mold. The guards that came in were Venatori and wasted no time trying to attack. It was over before it started and Christopher had taken the prison key from one of the guards before Dorian finally said something.

"Displacement? Interesting." He muttered to himself, looking around at the mess they had made, "It's probably not what Alexius intended. The rift must have moved us… to what? The closest confluence of arcane energy." Christopher listened and watched Dorian look around but his mind was still reeling.

"The last thing I remember we were in the castle hall." He supplied and Dorian looked at him, standing up from his crouching position. "Let's see, if we're still in the castle it isn't… oh! Of course! It's not simply where - it's when!" Christopher stared at the other mage not sure exactly what to say. "Alexius used the amulet as a focus. It moved us through time!"

"Did we go forward in time or back, and how far?" Christopher questioned. Dorian was more experienced and had a better understanding of time magic than he obviously did.

"Those are excellent questions," Dorian commented, "We'll have to find out won't we? Let's look around and see where the rift took us. Then we can figure out how to get back… if we can." Christopher hated how uncertain and grave Dorian's tone turned and part of him feared the worse.

"What do you think happened to the others?" Christopher asked, his mind going to Cassandra, Bull, and Raven.

"I honestly have no idea. I hope that little redhead's okay though. Something was different about her." He didn't know half of it, Christopher thought but nodded in agreement anyway.

"Then let's go." He finally said and with the key in hand he made his way to unlock the cell door. Once they were out and started to explore Christopher learned that it wasn't only their cell that seemed to be in bad shape with water soaking through their robes though instead of coming up to his knees like it had been it just reach to his ankles. Red lyrium was everywhere, some chunks smaller than others and some big enough to even block off doors and passageways. Once they made their way up the stairs there were two doors; one to the left and one to the right. Dorian followed Christopher up the left set of stairs first only to come to a room with a couple cells and large veins of red lyrium.

"Alexius as made a dreadful mess of this place, hasn't he?" Dorian commented as they made their way through the room.

"I didn't see this part of the castle." Christopher replied going through a random chest to see a mace, gold, and a belt. He only bothered with the gold.

 "It was covered in the tackiest carvings of wolves and dogs I'd ever seen. This is not an improvement." Christopher smirked as Dorian recalled previous decorations. It sounded terrible but definitely better than what he was currently seeing. Their path was blocked by more red lyrium so he quickly turned round, went back down the stairs and up the other small set straight across. Through the door there were was a hallway with more cells and water.

Cassandra was the first one they found, sitting in a cell reciting old Chantry prayers. She continued sitting even as she saw Dorian and Christopher approach her.

"You've returned to us. Can it be? Has Andraste given us another chance?" Her voice was changed, distorted. Her eyes had a red tint to them. He remembered Varric telling him how red lyrium can do things to the body and mind. "Maker forgive me, I failed you. I failed everyone. The end must truly be upon us if the dead return to life." Cassandra continued.

"You look wounded." Christopher stated, "Maybe we can help."

"Nothing you do can help me now. I'll be with the maker soon." She brushed aside his conccern.

"Alexius sent us forward in time. If we find him we may be able to return to the present." Dorian explained. Cassandra stood up and moved closer to the bars of her cell.

"Go back in time? Then… Can you make it so that none of this ever took place?" She asked, her distorted voice sounding hopeful.

"That's what I hope." Christopher answered.

"Alexius's master," She started, "After you died we could not stop the Elder One from rising. Empress Celene was murdered. The army that swept in afterwards - it was a horde of demons. Nothing stopped them. Nothing." She told them.

"I should have been there to help you." Christopher lamented.

"You're here now." She replied.

 

They were in 9:42 Dragon according to the Grand Enchanter. It was hard to understand her through the pain in her voice as the red lyrium encased her. She'd also told him that Cassandra wasn't the only one of his companions in the castle; Iron Bull, Raven, and Leliana were being held as well and Christopher could feel his heart start to beat overtime at the thought of them suffering the same fate as Cassandra had.

Iron Bull was the second companion found, Christopher almost missing him if it hadn't been for his loud voice singing about bottles of beer. When he turned in his cell to look at them it was clear he'd suffered. His eye had the same red tint though his voice was less distorted.

"You're not dead?" Iron Bull said while almost sounded disappointed, "You're supposed to be dead. There was a burn on the ground and everything." Dorian moved forward and unlocked the cell gate.

"Alexius didn't kill us. His spell sent us through time. This is our future." The mage explained and Bull didn't look amused.

"Well it's _my_ present and in my past I definitely saw you both die." He argued. Christopher ignored his comment.

"Are you alright? You don't look so good." He asked and moved backward as Bull left the cell he'd been confined in.

"Red lyrium. If I'm lucky it'll kill me. If not I'm hoping I die fighting." He explained looking down at the young, pale mage.

"You're dying?" Christopher exclaimed.

"No he's not. If we find Alexius we go back and none of this will happen. Remember?" Dorian explained more to Christopher than to Iron Bull. Bull didn't seem to mind too much.

"Kill Alexius. Sounds good, let's go."

A door to left and going straight had them upstairs to a metal flooring where two Venatori were stationed. With a simple fire spell from Christopher one burned to death while Bull kicked the other off the grated metal platform. A door to the left had a path leading down to the stairs to another room with cells and very little red lyrium. So little that Raven wasn't like the others but that didn't mean she hadn't suffered. Dorian was the one who found her, barely hearing the soft rise and fall of her voice as she sang to herself, her hands around her knees. She looked towards the door when she heard it open and backed away. Despite Dorian's objection Christopher found himself running toward her cell, opening the door, and throwing himself to the ground, on his knees in front of her. Her green eyes were dull and her hair was so much longer and matted. Her cheeks were cut and her right eye was bruised. One could only imagine how it was under the clothes she was wearing.

"Raven, it's me. It's Christopher." He whispered quietly. She stared at him and finally stretched out a hand to lightly pinch his shoulder before a wide smile graced her face.

"I thought you'd never come." She cried out quietly, her body lurching toward him with such force he almost fell over. Her arms wrapped around him and he could feel the heat involuntarily reach his cheeks as he felt her face nuzzle into his neck. When she pulled away he helped her stand.

"What happened to you?" He asked noticing that she was smaller, much smaller. She looked down at herself and shrugged.

"I guess I do look like I was rode hard and put up wet. You and Dorian disappeared but I knew you weren't dead so I fought. I fought the Venatori and killed as many fucking demons from his army as I could. My daggers broke while I was helping fight a pride demon and I was blindsided by one of those green praying mantis looking ones that can teleport." She told him quietly, not seeming to notice Cassandra and Bull. "I was interrogated. It hurt more than I thought it would but I didn't say anything. They thought a nice stay in this cell here would soften me up. I knew you'd come back. You'll make this right."

"I'll do my best to and when we get back I'll get some stronger daggers made for you." He promised and she smiled. Following him outside the cell he was surprised to see the tiny girl rush to Cassandra and throw her arms around the Seeker in hug, which the older woman uncharacteristically returned.

"I was so scared I'd never see you again." They heard Raven mutter quietly, "I tried getting out to help you but -" The Seeker pulled back and put a finger to Raven's lips and she went quiet.

"You don't need to apologize. You risked your life and freedom for me so I never want to hear that you're sorry." Cassandra admonished. "Let's get out of here and find Leliana. Alexius is held up in the throne room." Raven nodded and grabbed a pair of iron daggers from the chest beside the door.

"She's in the torture chambers. I know the way." Raven responded quietly.

By the time they had all found Leliana in the torture chamber, closed rifts, and finished gathering red lyrium shards Christopher was seething and ready for bloodshed. The world had been destroyed by the will of the Elder One and he vowed to make the bastard pay. Alexius was standing facing the fireplace when they entered the throne room and made no movement or sound as Christopher and his reunited party approached.

"It's over Alexius." Christopher announced.

"So it is." The Magister agreed, "I knew you would appear again, not that it would be now but I knew I hadn't destroyed you. My final failure."

"Was it worth it, everything you did to this world? To yourself?" Dorian asked.

'It doesn't matter now. All we can do is wait for the end." He replied sounding utterly defeated and broken. Christopher knew better though.

"What do you mean? What's ending?" Christopher still asked. Alexius started to chuckle.

"The irony that you should appear now of all the possibilities. All that I fought for, all that I betrayed, and have I wrought? Ruin and death, there is nothing else! The Elder One comes for me, for you, for us all." There was a commotion and Alexius was cut off as Leliana grabbed something on the ground and held her dagger to it's throat. "Felix!"

"That's Felix? Maker's breath Alexius, what have you done?" Dorian exclaimed. Alexius put a hand out to Felix and Leliana.

"Please don't hurt my son. I'll do anything you ask."

"Hand over the amulet and we'll let him go." Christopher demanded. Alexius looked between the young mage and Leliana still holding her dagger to his son's throat.

"Let him go and I swear you'll get what you want." He promised.

"I want the world back." Leliana sneered before slicing Felix's throat and throwing him down. Christopher noticed, from the corner of his eye, that Raven had to turn away from the sight and remembered what she'd told them in Redcliff about him being sick and the tears she'd shed for him. Alexius cried out, whether it was in anger or despair Christopher wasn't sure and didn't have time to think about it as Alexius attacked.

 

"He wanted to die." Dorian murmured quietly to himself as he kneeled down over the dead body of Alexius. Christopher, who had been standing by Raven as the tiny rogue caught her breath walked over to his fellow mage, "All those lies he told himself, the justifications. He lost Felix long ago and didn't even notice. Oh, Alexius." Dorian stood up, eye level with Christopher and sighed.

"I know you cared for him." Christopher tried to console.

"Once he was a man to whom I compared all others. Sad isn't it?" Dorian asked and Christopher shook his head in disagreement, "This is the same amulet he used before. I think it's the same one he made in Manrathous. That's a relief." Although he spoke directly to his fellow mage Dorian's eyes noticed the young redhead slowly make her way over to the body of Felix. She held him and kissed his forehead before smiling down at him. Curious, he thought to himself. That thought would stay with him. "Give me an hour to work out the spell we need and I should be able to reopen the fade." He continued focusing on Christopher again.

"An hour!" Leliana exclaimed, "That's impossible, you must go now!" A distant, angry cry suddenly resounded through the castle followed by a loud banging that caused the walls to shake and tiny pieces of stone from the ceiling to fall. Raven had positioned Felix into a ceremonial funeral position and was now walking to where Leliana, Christopher, and Dorian stood while drawing her daggers. "The Elder One." The Spymaster announced.

"You have to hurry, there isn't much time." Raven urged, stopping to stand in front of Christopher. She gave him a sad smile.

"We'll hold the main door," Cassandra declared, "Once they break through it's all to you Leliana."

"I can't let you commit suicide." He argued while looking to Raven, Cassandra, and Bull.

"Look at us, we're already dead. The only way we live is if this day never comes." Leliana argued back. Christopher wasn't looking at her though. He met Raven's gaze as she brought a warm hand to his cheek and let out a giggle.

"Sweet boy," She murmured and stood up on her toes to kiss him lightly on the cheek. He grabbed her arm as she pulled away, "go back and make this right. Our lives are counting on you. Don't rest once the Breach is closed, people will you need you then more than ever, more than you'll know and remember that you promised me new daggers. I'm thinking green or purple." Christopher wanted to ask what she meant about those needed him, his mind racing with questions and possibilities but Raven had wormed out of his grasp and was making her way to the main room with Cassandra and Bull.

"Cast your spell. You have as much time as I have arrows." Leliana warned while taking her spot to guard the door. It took roughly ten minutes for Dorian to figure out the spell. Christopher could hear his three companions in the main room and their cries of pain.

"Though darkness comes I am shielded by flame." Leliana began, reciting an old prayer he knew from the Chantry while readying her bow. The main hall doors flew open. "Andraste guide me. Maker take me to your side." As demons entered she began firing arrows, one after the other, eventually an arrow came flying and hit her shoulder and still she didn't stop. Christopher rushed to help her but was stopped before he could get too far.

"You move and we all die." Dorian shouted over the noise. Christopher didn't move any farther and watched Leliana fight off the Venatori agents trying to pass her. Christopher heard the familiar popping and crackle of the time rift opening and turned towards it, only to look back as he heard Leliana cry out as a Venatori agent grabbed her from behind and brought a dagger to her throat. He felt Dorian's arm tighten on his arm before there was a flash of green and he appeared before an alive but shocked Alexius.

"You'll have to do better than that." Dorian commented and Alexius dramatically fell to his knees, knowing he was defeated.

"Put aside all claim to Redcliff and we let you live." Christopher declared, his eyes finding Raven and she smiled at him.

"You know, there's no point extending this charade." Alexius muttered and looked to his son, "Felix…" Christopher looked away from Raven and watched Felix kneel down to his father.

"It's going to be alright Father." He said quietly though his words didn't seem to comfort the Magister.

"You'll die." He whispered to his son, tears threatening to fall.

"Everyone dies." Felix replied and stood up shortly after Alexius to be escorted out by Inquisition forces. Christopher watched them go. Dorian watched as well, feeling relieved.

"I'm glad that's over with." The moment he said that though armed guards filed into the throne room, "Or not." Christopher felt a hand on his forearm and looked down to see Raven smiling at up him. _It all took so much longer in the game,_ She thought as Christopher met her gaze and smiled back before they both turned to see Queen Anora and King Alistair approaching them and Grand Enchanter Fiona. Raven stood in awe as she watched them both, flashbacks of Origins playing through her head.

"Grand Enchanter we'd like to discuss your abuse of our hospitality." Alistair declared and the annoyance was obvious in his voice.

"Your Majesties." Fiona addressed while walking towards them.

"When we offered the mages sanctuary we did not give them the right to drive our people from their homes." Anora admonished. Raven moved away from Christopher and took a seat on one of the stone steps leading to the throne, silently watching the exchange while wondering if Christopher would conscript the mages or take them as allies. He never said. She definitely needed to talk to him more.

"King Alistair, Queen Anora I assure you we never intended…" Fiona tried to reply only to be cut off with a glare from the Queen.

"In light of your actions good intentions are no longer enough." She snapped and caught the Enchanter off guard. Raven watched closely, hoping to learn how to be that intimidating in the future. Maybe the cheekbones helped? Alistair took a step toward her, clearly pissed. She missed the old, funny Alistair.

"You and your followers have worn out your welcome. Leave Ferelden or we'll be forced to make you leave." He threatened and it was easy to see he was serious but Anora was much more intimidating.

"But we have hundreds who need protection. Where will we go?" Fiona asked in a hurried tone. She looked up at Christopher as he made his way down the steps toward the three speaking.

"The Inquisition might be willing to take in the mages." He offered and the Grand Enchanter looked at him.

"And what are the terms of this arrangement?" She asked.

"Hopefully better than what Alexius gave you. The Inquisition is better than that, yes?" Dorian spoke up, addressing Christopher who nodded to the man and looked at Raven, hoping she would say something. Thankfully she caught on.

"When one treats people with benevolence and reposes confidence in them, the army will be united in mind and all will be happy to serve their leaders." Christopher stared at the tiny girl and with her words echoing in his mind she smiled at him as he turned to Fiona to offer an alliance.


	8. Attack on Haven

"Are you sure you won't come with us to seal the Breach?" Christopher asked knowing she wouldn't change her mind. Raven turned to look at him standing in the doorway, her hair was down and covering part of her face but he could see her smile before she stood up from the seat she was in and slowly make her way to him. He smiled when she stopped about a foot away. He could reach out and touch her if he wanted to, or get away with it most likely. She didn't seem to like people unexpectedly toughing her.

"Everything will be fine, you don't need me there." She replied while doing her best to sound like everything was okay. It wasn't the Breach she was worried about but what came afterwards that had her stomach in knots.

"I'd still like you to be." He said softly and paused, the words her future self had whispered to him in the fade not even a week ago still in his mind. There was so much she could've meant by saying people would need him, she'd experienced events of a future he had only heard about so there was no telling what else she'd seen and dealt with.

"I'll be here when you get back. I hear there's going to be a celebration." She tried changing the subject. Christopher could see it and decided to humor her.

"Will you save a dance for me?" He heard himself ask and was rewarded with a smile from her.

"I'd love to." She accepted and he was surprised when she reached out and put a gentle hand on his shoulder, "It'll give me a break from dancing with Varric and Sera." Christopher could feel the confusion grow on his face and it caused her to giggle.

"You're quite popular." He observed and she only shrugged.

"It's not like I try to be. That's actually the very last thing I want. Like, ever." She told him, her smile fading as she stared into his eyes, "But I can't help it if Sera wants my… 'lady bits' as she so eloquently called them and it's impossible to turn down Varric with his charm." Christopher could tell she was joking, the humor in her voice gave it away but it didn't make him any less jealous.

"By 'charm' do you mean his chest hair?" He retorted and was happy to hear her laugh.

"Isn't it the same thing?" Before he could answer she pulled her hand back, "You should head up to the breach Herald. You have work to do and I'll see you later." It had been a long time since he'd been dismissed by a woman younger and tinier than him and he wanted to make a witty retort but was at a loss for words. He watched her as she turned and went back to the chair she was sitting in, secluded from everyone else. With a small sigh he turned and left the Chantry and made his way to Cassandra and Solas. It was going to be a long night.

 

It seemed like forever before she heard Christopher's footsteps receding and when they were gone completely Raven let out a sigh. It wasn't as if she liked playing the antisocial card even though she proved to be very good at it but her stomach was turning and it felt like she was going to be sick. People would die tonight. Whether it would be few or many depended on what she knew but she couldn't see going to any of the advisors going over well. She would be gutted like a fish if she went to any of them but she couldn't sit around and wait for the attack. She wouldn't be able to live with herself. Her father had always taught her to make the right choice even if it was the hardest but who would ever believe her and then not accuse her of being a spy, or worse, once it was all over? Her mind wandered to the people she'd come to know over the last two months, the people she'd come to love and care about.

"Hey Ginger." She jumped as Varric's voice broke the silence of the Chantry. Turning to look at him she saw he wasn't smiling like he usually was, instead he looked worried. Was he worried for her, she wondered.

"Is everything okay?" She asked as he came forward and sat down in the chair besides hers.

"I should be asking you that question. Christopher's usual party went up to take care of the Breach, succeeded, and now are back celebrating and you're here alone. Did something happen?" She was surprised how much it hurt to hear the worry in his voice, the worry that she caused. Varric had become almost like a father figure in the last couple months in her real father's absence and he trusted her.

"If you knew something that could prevent a lot of people from getting hurt but there's the possibility that you could die if you told anyone what choice would you make?" She asked her friend and wasn't surprised by the look he gave her. She looked down at her hand as it was covered by one of his.

"That's a hard question to answer." He replied truthfully, "I've always lied and talked my way out of problems, to make light of everything but that isn't you." Varric watched her as she looked down, and took note of the small trembling in the hand he was holding

"Once the Breach is sealed the Elder One will attack Haven with Templars corrupted by red lyrium. He'll be after Christopher's mark and Haven will fall." The words left Raven's mouth in a whisper and Varric could've sworn he'd stopped breathing for a few seconds. It was always a possibility that Haven could be attacked but there was no way she could know if or when it could happen.

"I'm sorry," He finally said, "I could've sworn you said that the Elder One will attack Haven. Tonight." To his disappointment she nodded, not denying her statement. "Fuck Ginger, how could you know that?" She flinched at the disbelief in his voice.

"I know because I've seen it." She replied quietly, "The attack is inevitable and you have to help me. Once the bells ring we need to get everyone into the chantry as soon as possible before the red Templars cross the gate." Varric took his hand away and stood up but continued to face her. He'd always trusted her without question, being able to tell when or if she lied. She stared at him with those green eyes that showed sadness and fear. If he were to help her instead of run like he wanted there was no way her plan could work if it was just them, he at least had to bring the information to Nightingale. She trusted Ginger. Her and Curly both did.

"I'll help you but we can't do it on our own. If Curly or Nightingale were to kn-" He was cut off by her shaking her head.

"I can't! If I told them…" She trailed off. Varric moved closer to her, his hand on her arm. The last thing he wanted to do was yell to make her see reason but if what she was saying was true he had no choice.

"You need to tell them Raven!" He used her real name to show he was serious and he knew she saw his point when she didn't respond, "If this is true we're going to need all the help we can get." She sat there staring at him, the silence stretching between them. She'd most likely lose everything; the trust she gained, friends she made, it would all disappear and if she wasn't killed immediately it would happen after she was interrogated. She had to though. With a nod she finally stood up and with Varric following her she made her way to the war room only to find it empty when they arrived. The familiar sound of the bell rang as she stepped out of the Chantry and Raven felt her heart sink.

"It looks like we're too late to tell them. We have to get everyone to the Chantry Varric! It's the only way!" Raven shouted over the noise as she took in the sight around her. The sound of marching footsteps could be heard along with the bells and people screaming. She knew she had, at most, fifteen minutes and Haven was big. Varric didn't have a chance to reply before she was running off, ordering people to head to the Chantry. He started urging others to do the same while making his way to the gate where he met up with Curly reporting an army approaching under no banner. Leliana looked to Varric as he quickly approached.

 "Ginger's telling the citizens to get to the Chantry." He reported and the woman nodded in reply. Christopher turned around and his eyes met with Varric's.

 "Help her. Does she have her daggers?" He asked and Varric nodded, recalling the harness across the girls soldiers, "Good. When she's done tell her to come to me, I want her by my side in case something happens." With Christopher's orders clear he left, telling anyone who would listen to make their way to the Chantry for safety.

 

"Get to the Chantry, you'll be safe there!" Raven told a family consisting of a mother, father, and two year old child. They nodded and Raven watched them hurry in the needed direction before running to the next house. Her breathing came in short breaths, her heart was beating frantically and she had a feeling it was more of the adrenaline in her system then the running. Twenty-two houses had been cleared and she was making her way to the apothecary to make sure Adan and Minaeve made it out okay before they were trapped. She could hear the sound of fighting, the metal of swords clanging loudly as they came into contact with each other. The screams had died down significantly and Raven had a feeling it was because at least ninety percent of the citizens were in the Chantry. When she opened the door to the apothecary Adan was shoving potions and ingredients in a satchel while Minaeve did the same.

"You two have enough," Raven said loudly enough for them to hear, her breathing still uneven, "Get to the Chantry or you will die." Adan took a step toward her with an angered look on his face but Raven cut off anything he had to say by pulling out one of her daggers and pointing it to him, causing him to stop. "Get to the Chantry now!" He and Minaeve said nothing as they ran out of the tiny building with their bags to their chest and Raven leaned back against the door while trying her best to think in her adrenaline fueled haze. Lysette, Flissa, Adan, Minaeve, and Seggrit were in the Chantry. Harritt would be at his forge by now and she knew Christopher would help him when coming back from the trebuchets as well as save Threnn on their way to the Chantry.

"Ginger, Christopher needs you at the front gate with him, Cassandra, Bull, and Solas. Who do we have left to evacuate?" Varric yelled while running up the steps toward her. She straightened and looked at him.

"Harritt's outside the gates and there will be a woman Christopher will have to save on his way back to the Chantry. I think I got everyone. Are the advisors and everyone okay?" She asked and Varric merely nodded. "Good, I'll head to the gates. You get your ass to the Chantry." Varric watched her run down the stairs and disappear among the buildings hoping she knew what she was doing. He couldn't lose another friend.

On her way to met up with them Raven heard a loud explosion and near deafening cry, finally seeing her friends as they were running back toward the gates. Bull slightly behind the rest of them and she noticed the wooden boxes in front of Harritt's door had been all but obliterated and Harritt was following them.

"Christopher what's happening?" She asked only to have him roughly grab her arm and pull her along with them. It was Raven's quick reflexes that caused her to gracefully turn around on the tips of her toes and start running the other way.

"There's a goddamn dragon!" He yelled over the noise and Raven could hear giant wings moving and another cry. "We have to save the citizens." Raven felt Solas beside her.

"Harritt and Threnn were the only ones I didn't see. Everyone else is stuffed in the Chantry." She responded. "We need to get there as soon as possible." Christopher nodded as they made their way to the gate. Cullen was still in the doorway urging mages and soldiers that were outside the gate to hurry. Raven, Christopher, and the others were the last ones in and Raven helped Cullen close the doors as she caught sight of the dragon flying overhead. Shit, it was bigger than she thought it'd be.

"We need everyone back to the Chantry! It's the only building that might hold against… that beast!" He was yelling but Raven could hardly hear him over the dragons cries. Raven grabbed his arm as he was ascending the stairs.

"The citizens are already in the Chantry. Varric and I did that before I met up with Christopher." She took notice of his eyes softening for a moment before his Templar and military training took over again.

"Good. At this point just make them work for it." He replied before heading to the large building leaving Raven and her four friends to fight. Looking back to Christopher with a small smile she unsheathed her daggers.

"Lowest number of kills buys the first round of drinks when all this is over." She offered and Christopher stared at her. She really wanted to make a game of killing Templars? He heard Bull cheer beside him.

"You're on!" The Qunari yelled and matched her fast pace up the steps while Christopher still stood in silence.

"She needs to keep her mind focused." Solas explained and both he and Cassandra started up the steps with Christopher following only to hear Bull shout four and Raven yell back six. It really did help when she could stealth, sneak up from behind, and slit their throat. Bull called cheater.

Fifteen to twelve kills later with Raven in the lead she brought herself into stealth mode and quickly entered the burning tavern to sigh in relief when Flissa was nowhere to be seen under the rubble and fallen lumber. On her way to the apothecary she made quick work of two more red Templars; _seventeen_ , she thought proudly. As she opened the door to Adan's shop a rough hand grabbed onto her shoulder and jerked her back. Raven felt herself panic but turned around and blindly threw a punch, forgetting about the dagger in her hand. Her eyes widened and she stepped back, yanking her arm away as she tried not to cringe in pain and the red templar standing in front of her to remain still for a moment, shocked, before lunging at her. From less than a foot away Raven was quick enough to dodge a full body impact but that didn’t stop her from being pinned underneath the mutated creature. Her head slammed against the wooden floor and he made quick work of restraining her arms. She tried to use her legs but through the plate armor he was wearing it didn't seem to have much of an effect. Fear flooded through her, clouding her mind, and she couldn't stop the tears that came to her eyes as she continued to struggle.

"You die now!" The red Templar's voice was deep and distorted and Raven continued to struggle as one of his large hands, then the other made their way from her arms up to her neck.

"Not today. Not by you." A calm voice spoke, cutting through Raven's clouded and muddled thoughts and from behind the templar she saw the brim of a familiar large hat. _It's him_ , she thought but was cut off, her eyes closing as she saw one of his daggers pierce through the red Templar's neck and come out the other side. Through her closed eyes she didn't see him look at her curiously, ignoring the gasping sound the Templar was making, "I'm sorry. It will get messy." He told her and suddenly brought the dagger forward through the Templar's throat, creating a large gash and causing his blood to pour out, covering the small girl underneath the creature. He pushed the dead Templar off the girl and kneeled down beside her, trying his best to help clean off the blood. _It's warmer than I expected,_ he heard her thoughts and stopped, his mouth dropping.

"Cole. Helping, healing. Always looks out for others. Sweet spirit. I want his hat. You know me. How do you know me?" Cole asked quietly, watching as she opened her eyes and sat up, blood staining her hair, skin, and clothes. "Your friends are worried. You need to get to the Chantry! Not afraid. Thank you for saving me. You're welcome." He continued to speak, only hearing some of her thoughts. The others were too muffled by fear. Not only hers but fear belonging to the others as well.

"Thank you Cole." She whispered while giving him a smile. He stood up and offered a hand which she took. Cole watched her silently as she quickly grabbed her daggers and held them out to him.

"Take these for now. If you need to fight and protect yourself these are stronger and sharper than your own." She insisted. _You need them more_ , he heard her thoughts. Hesitantly Cole reached out and took them, looking down at the bloodied black blades. She took his blades from him.

"Your hand hurts." He said quietly but she didn't seem to hear. _Hurting, swollen, I'll cover it in snow later,_ he heard before she grabbed his arm and pulled him from the building. Christopher, Bull, Cassandra, Solas, and Sera were leaving the Chantry as Raven and Cole arrived. The tiny girls bloodied appearance caused them all to stop short.

"What happened?" Cassandra asked stepping forward.

"Please tell me that's not your own." Bull commented and Raven shook her head.

"It belongs to a Red Templar. Cole saved my life. Get to the other trebuchet; I'll help Cole and Cullen with Roderick and the people in the Chantry." She instructed and walked past them to bang on the doors of the Chantry with her uninjured hand. Cole followed behind, more people needed his help. _How does she know? Did he tell her? She looks hot covered in blood. Please let her be safe, even if I don't make it. Cullen will take care of her._ All thoughts were of the small girl in front of him. It was the Commander who opened the door, his eyes widened when he saw Raven covered in blood. _Maker's mercy, I'm glad she's okay._ Cole heard his thoughts too. He heard many thoughts at that moment but those two were the loudest and closest to him.

"Who's leading the people through the passageway?" She asked, wasting no time with pleasantries. Cole stayed close to her as she entered. Cullen stuttered for a moment.

"Leliana is helping Chancellor Roderick lead the way and Josephine is keeping order along with Varric, Blackwall, and Vivienne. Blackwall also has your kitten and Varric has all your things, including the bag we haven't given back. Raven what happened to you?" He asked the last part quietly. Cole could hear the soft thoughts he had for the young girl but that was lost on her.

"It doesn't matter. Once the trebuchets are aimed Christopher is going to send Cassandra, Bull, Sera, and Solas back to us. You can go with them while Cole and I wait." Cullen glared at her as she spoke.

"If the red Templar's break through the Chantry doors before they come back someone is going to need to hold them off." Cullen retorted.

"Cole and I can do that." Cole watched Raven argue back. _Please go. I want you safe,_ she was screaming. Cole put a hand on Raven's shoulder, something Cullen noticed and expected her to jerk away like she normally did. Instead she let it remain and turned to look at the young blond boy. As she turned he noticed her normal black daggers were gone and replaced by blood stained silver ones.

"You want to fight. To protect. Your hand is hurt, swollen, can't grip the dagger. I can keep you safe and he wants to keep you safe too. Let him stay. The trebuchet's almost aimed. Why do you want my hat?" He asked no longer noticing the Commander staring at him curiously. Raven let out a small giggle.

"I didn't expect it to be so big." She said quietly, feeling her hands start to tremble. She knew her adrenaline rush was wearing off and her body was starting to crash as a result.

"Keep her safe. She needs sugar or she will faint. I need to find some." His hand left Raven's shoulders and Cullen reached to steady her. _Josephine's office by her tea_ , Cole heard and let himself disappear. There were tiny white sugar cubes in a bowl on the desk with a tea pot and half filled cup. He thought of bringing the tea but the sound of the door opening and more voices filling in caused him to hurry and grab the bowl of sugar cubes and move quickly back to the group.

"You need this." He said quietly to Raven, holding the bowl to her. His sudden appearance startled everyone else but not her. She smiled at him, took one of the white cubes, and brought it to her mouth. _Always remember under the tongue_ , he heard her say to herself.

"We aimed the trebuchet. The dragon and Elder One appeared and Boss had us come back." Bull explained to Cullen. "I don't think we can take them both on." _Sickly sweet, it sucks how sweet this is. Cole, sweet thing._ Her thoughts were complicated and jumbled, Cole thought to himself. Her bloodied and dazed appearance was starting to worry everyone but they listened to her when she spoke.

"We don't need to. Christopher will fire the trebuchet and Haven will be destroyed. He will survive this and make it back to us." The amount of conviction in her voice astounded them all. _Know this. Seen this. He will survive._

"Right now we don't have time to argue. He wanted us to run and escape." Cassandra spoke up. Raven nodded.

"Bull if I'm not too heavy can you carry me? I don't feel good." She asked quietly and Cole was certain he was the only one who knew how much it hurt her pride to ask that favor. The large Qunari scoffed at the heavy comment and in the next moment she was curled into his arms like she weighed nothing more than one of his harnesses. Solas saw the state of her hand and knew he had to wait to heal it till they were safe and out of Haven.

"What's wrong with her?" Cassandra asked while they hurriedly made their way to the passageway Roderick had revealed. _Warmth, bed, wrapped in the comforter Olivia gave me for my eighteenth birthday, or the quilt grandma made_ , Cole could still hear her thoughts and see the images behind them.

"Her blood sugar is dropping." Cole told them quietly as he walked side by side with Bull, following Cullen. The pathway was lit with torches thanks to those who'd already passed. "Heart racing, mind fuzzy, breathing heavy and trying not to cry as the Red Templar's hands wrapped around her throat. He wanted to kill her. She tried to get free but couldn't. She punched him, broke her hand. Still cared more about making sure the others were safe." He was hardly aware he was speaking, the rest had gone quiet as he recalled the events. "They don't need to know all that." He stopped talking, realizing she was now addressing him personally, and looked at the girl in The Iron Bull's arms. _They don't need to know how weak I was._

"Once we catch up to the others I'll heal her hand and make sure nothing else is wrong. Cole, was it?" Cole heard the elf mage ask causing him to turn around.

"Yes, and your name is Solas." He acknowledged and the bald elf smiled.

"Are those her daggers?" He asked, pointing to the harness he was wearing that revealed the familiar pair of black daggers he knew Raven loved so much. He saw Cole nod, his hand reaching back and his fingers ran along the edge of the hilt. Made with such care, he could feel how much she loved the daggers when she held them out to him, urging him to take them, to fight and protect himself, not to protect her even though she was the one hurt and needing the protecting.

"Yes they are." He answered simply, his eyes going to the girl now asleep in The Iron Bull's arms.

"Why do you have her daggers?" The young elf, Sera angrily demanded of him. _Creepy thing took them, I know it. Why's it even here with us?_

"Stronger, sharper, but also heavier, if you need to fight then take them and protect yourself," He responded, thinking back to her words and thoughts from earlier. "Even though she was hurt she only cared about me being safe. Is she always like that?" He suddenly asked and both Solas and The Iron Bull laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"You have no idea." Bull replied thinking back to the day he saw her spar with Krem the first time and the way she dropped her daggers to care for him. A cold draft from ahead caused him to hold the sleeping redhead tighter to his body. "We must be close." He observed.

"I can hear them." Cole said and Bull had to refrain from dropping Raven when the boy disappeared causing a loud curse from Sera.


	9. Harsh Words

After Cole's disappearance it didn't take the small group long to reach the refugee camp set up by the soldiers and civilians in their absence. Cullen and Cassandra had dismissed themselves and went to find Leliana and Josephine, Cole was seated on a bench at Chancellor Roderick's side though his eyes followed Bull as he passed, paying more attention to the strange girl sleeping in his arms than the large Qunari. Sera had excused herself and Solas followed Bull over to where the Chargers were with Raven. Krem greeted his chief with a relieved expression and took the blanket around his shoulders and covered Raven to keep her warm. It was then that he noticed the dried blood covering her.

"What the hell happened to her?" He asked sitting down around the fire previously built. Bull did the same. Raven moved as he took a seat leaning against one of the logs placed around the fire, burying her face into his chest. If his armor bothered her in her sleep it wasn't shown.

"She's tired." Bull answered. Solas kneeled down close to where Raven slept and pulled back the blanket covering the girl. Taking her injured hand in his own even he had to wince; blood was caked onto her knuckles, her entire hand was swollen, and he tried his best to be gentle as he applied pressure only to find that her hand was, in fact, broken. Krem stared at her hand in shock.

"What did she do?" He questioned while watching the elf's hands start to glow green around the swollen one making Raven shift uncomfortably and try to pull her hand back. Solas kept onto it though speaking softly to her in his mother tongue. Neither Bull nor Krem understood what he said but something about his words or tone of voice seemed to calm her.

"From what we were told a Red Templar snuck up behind her and she punched it." Sudden coughing to their side brought Bull's attention away from the girl. He looked over at Krem who was pounding a hand against his chest and staring at the three of them, eyes wide. He couldn't picture her punching anyone, especially a red Templar. How was she still alive? Krem didn't voice his opinions though, instead he watched as Solas continued to use his magic to heal her hand. Moments later the green glowing subsided and Solas smiled, the bones were no longer broken, her hand wasn't swollen or cut but the blood remained. That was easy enough to take care of but it would have to come later, he thought as he pulled the blanket back over her.

"I will take my leave. Keep her warm and tell her to come see me when she's awake." He instructed while standing up and brushing off his robes. Bull and Krem watched his retreating figure until it was blocked by tents. Krem was the first to speak after about fifteen minutes or so.

"How is she still alive?" He asked and Bull shrugged, his eyes searching to find the boy she'd shown up with but he was nowhere to be seen.

"A kid saved her. Said his name was Cole. I don't know how or where he is though." Bull explained, "She disappeared somewhere on our way back to the Chantry. She hadn't shown up and when we were going to aim the last trebuchet she came running up looking like she is now with him beside her. When we came back he was giving her sugar cubes. She said she wasn't feeling good, asked me to carry her, and then passed out within five minutes. Any chance you can get the daggers out from her harness?" Krem nodded quietly, his mind still processing what the Chief had just told him. Since he arrived he hadn't seen anyone unfamiliar. As he reached toward Raven, his hand barely brushing over her, her eyes shot open and her body lurched forward causing Krem to jump away and Bull's grip on her to tighten.

"Shit, where are we?" She gasped while looking around confused. When she finally took in the image of Bull and then Krem beside her she calmed significantly. "Are we outside of Haven?"

"We made camp to regroup. The Herald still isn't here." Krem answered her quietly. Raven braced her hands against Bull's arm and chest with the attempt to readjust herself. He let her, not minding that she seemed comfortable and warm. She looked up at Bull and smiled.

"How many kills before you got to the Chantry?" She asked causing Bull to laugh, catching the attention of a few people around them, including some of the Chargers.

"Sixteen." He answered honestly and was rewarded when Raven's smile only grew.

"Seventeen," She replied, "Looks like you'll be buying our first round of drinks. None of that shit you drink though. I like having feeling in my throat." He shrugged, indifferent either way. She usually paid for her own drinks and meals, she didn't even let Varric add her to his tab like he'd suggested. Next time they all went drinking he could only imagine the look on the dwarf's face as he bought her the first round and she let him. "Where's Cole?" She asked suddenly.

"Last time I saw him he was by that Chancellor's side when we got here. I don't know where he is now." Bull replied and was surprised when she gracefully turned and slid out of his hands and turn to give the blanket to him. "Are you sure you should be up? You were out pretty hard." He saw Krem ready himself to jump up and catch her if she fell but she shrugged, twisting her body and proceeding with her usual stretches. He had to laugh at the look of utter revulsion when she realized she still had blood in her hair and on her skin and clothes before all her attention went to her hand.

"It's fixed!" She exclaimed, nearly ecstatic, "I was so worried that there would be lasting effects and I wouldn't be able to fight anymore." Their concern for her went unnoticed, that seemed to happen a lot.

"Solas took care of it. Again, are you sure you should be up?" Krem spoke up catching the girls attention.

"It was an adrenaline crash, that's all. The sugar cubes Cole gave me helped a lot too." She explained nonchalantly before turning her attention to Krem. "If there's no other tent available for me tonight can I bunk with you? I promise I don't snore." She asked him, looking at anything she could to not meet his gaze. She'd never shared a tent with a man before, even though he was biologically a female that wasn't his gender of choice. He laughed so she looked at him.

"I don't see why not. If you're sure you're okay then Solas wanted to see you when you woke up. Take the blanket with you, it's cold." He ordered and she made a high pitched noise in surprise as Bull threw the blanket over her head. When she finally shifted it so it was around her shoulders her hair was messy but she was smiling. With a small wave she made her way towards the rest of the camp in search of Solas and Cole.

 

"You're the girl who had us go to the Chantry." A small voice exclaimed causing Raven to stop for the ninth time since she started her little quest to find Solas. It was a little girl who spoke as she rushed forward and despite Raven's less than forgiving appearance gave her a quick, unexpected hug. Raven met the little girls smile as she looked down. "You saved me and my mom. Thank you!" She continued while pulling away and running off. A soft chuckle just behind her caused her to turn and see Solas smiling.

"You seem to be very popular _da'len_." He observed, having been watching her since she left the Chargers camp and the way she'd been approached. She merely shrugged and turned towards him to resist any strain on her neck.

"It's definitely not my intention given how terrifying I probably look." She replied as she smiled upon realizing what he'd called her. "Thank you for fixing my hand." Solas nodded and they continued to walk side by side. 

"After all you've done for us it's the least I can do. I am sure a lot of these people wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for you." He spoke truthfully only to receive another shrug, "You're too modest." He observed and she looked at him. 

"We can't all be named Pride." Her comment caught him off guard but she smiled at him. By now they were at his tent and with flick of his wrist fire sprung from the unlit pile of wood.

"Please sit, I'll be back in a moment." He requested and was pleased when she sat on one of the small benches supplied to him. It didn't take the elf long to grab a large piece of cloth and a bowl from his bag and take the seat next to her. She looked at him curiously, her entire body angling to watch as he placed the bowl in the small space between them and filled it with water. He didn't need the fire to make it warm like most of the others and part of him enjoyed the way she looked at his hands and the bowl in awe as he heated it with magic, then curiosity as he dipped the cloth in, rang it out, and brought it to her forehead. Solas doubted it could get all of it out of her red hair and clothes but everything wouldn't be a problem. Raven closed her eyes as the warm rag brushed along her skin. 

" _Ma serannas, hahren."_ She said quietly, her words so unexpected it almost caused Solas to drop the cloth entirely. Her pronunciation was perfect. Raven offered him a small smile, "You called me 'little one' before. I hope it's okay that I addressed you as 'Elder'." 

"You know the Elvhen language?" He asked as he rinsed out the cloth and brought it back to her face. She was almost starting to look normal again. 

"I know enough to use it in conversation but I'm not fluent by any means." She admitted, " _You're safe little one. Let me take the pain away so you can sleep easier._ That's what you said while fixing my hand right?" Solas was stunned. Even more so when the young spirit from before suddenly appeared and he had to wonder if Raven knew what stood beside her and helped her. She turned to Cole and smiled up at him.

"Your pain is gone." Cole noted quietly as he stared into the girls green eyes before looking away to the elf that held a wet cloth in his hands. Solas had been cleaning off the blood he'd had to cover her with. "You were so scared but you didn't show it. Years of blood and sweat and dedication gone. He would be so disappointed. Why can't he be with me now?" Cole continued as remnants of the girl's thoughts from before still lingered in his mind. She knew they were her thoughts but made no move to stop him, always curious about what it would be like to speak to him and hear his tangents. Solas listened intently wondering who _'he'_ was.

"Thank you for saving my life Cole." Raven spoke with a smile, "I don't know if I told you before with everything happening but my name is Raven." She wasn't the only one to notice the almost perplexed look to cross the blond spirits face as his eyes continued to meet hers.

"Raven." He said her name out loud, testing the feel of it as it left his lips, "So many think of you; worrying, missing, thanking, needing, and loving. Not profane and death but creation, healing, protection, and wisdom. You want to live up to what she named you after; the woman who looks just like you with green eyes and long red hair, never meeting but have seen so many times. Alana." Cole replied and suddenly went silent. He did it again, _they don't know. No one here knows of her._ Raven's sad thought struck him hard.

"Alana?" Solas questioned, confused as Cole finished talking. Raven's gaze didn't falter as she continued to look at the spirit who was now staring at his hands, picking at the tattered gloves making Solas wonder if he'd gotten that from Raven or if it was something all rogues did.

"My mother," Raven explained. Solas wanted to ask more but there was a commotion not too far away and Raven was up and running before either he or Cole could move. The spirit looked at her as she ran, his eyes wide when he turned to Solas.

"They found him." He revealed quietly and disappeared.

 

Raven had barely made it in time to see Cullen and Cassandra doing their best to carry Christopher in. Snow covered his robes, his cheeks and nose were red but his lips appeared blue. His black hair was frozen and she could tell he was shivering which was a good sign. As they brought him to one of the larger tents where three healers already waited she turned around to keep any of the civilians rushing to see the events from getting too close. Cullen appeared by her side moments later. He motioned for her to go over to the tent before addressing the people that had gathered. Raven gave him a quick smile and moved to the tent, closing the flaps to prevent people from seeing in. She also knew it would help raise the temperature, just a little.

"We need to take his clothes off." She said to the healers. Adan was one of them and Michelle was another, the elder man was in the process of covering Christopher with a blanket. The last girl Raven had never seen before. "Go get lots of blankets and one of the mabari hounds." Raven ordered, the unknown girl nodded and without a word rushed to do what was ordered.

"And why do we need to take his clothes off to make him warm?" Adan sneered at her, still not happy how she forced him out of his own apothecary. Raven rolled her eyes.

"Have you ever dealt with someone who spent hours and hours in the freezing cold in nothing but cotton robes?" She asked and Adan's sneer vanished, giving Raven the answer she needed. Technically she hadn't either but at least she knew what to do. "If your grumpy ass knew anything about how the body works you would know that wet clothes will only continue to keep him cold. Spells and potions won't work here, this needs to be done the old fashioned way." Adan and Michelle made no move to do anything so with a small curse Raven reached back and grabbed one of the daggers from her harness, forgetting for a moment that they were Cole's, and came forward. Michelle stifled a scream as she pulled some of the wet clothing away from Christopher's unconscious body and started to cut the cloth, swiftly but carefully as he continued to shiver, from the collar to his stomach. After that she threw the dagger aside and proceeded to tear the robe the rest of the way. Next went the shoes.

"If you're sure you know what you're doing then let me help you." Michelle finally said coming forward. Raven was thankful the girl had a pair of scissors.

"Thank you. Can you cut his sleeves? When it's all over I'd like to lift him up and we can slide the clothes away." As the girl nodded and started doing as she was asked Raven looked over to see the flap open and the other healer as well as Solas enter the tent. "Good, you're here. Adan can you go to your tent and grab a few health potions?" The potion master simply nodded, probably in shock from what Raven could guess, and left. Solas looked at her.

"What are you doing?" He asked. The redhead flashed a quick smile and beckoned him forward.

"I need you to make it warm in the tent. Not super hot but warm. I'll also need you to be the one to remove his underwear and then help me lift him. He's dead weight right now." Solas didn't ask questions, just listened and did as he was asked. Once the wet robes were removed he watched, curious, as Raven took one of the smaller pieces of cloth and wrapped it around his head, confining his wet hair, dried the rest of him, then proceeded to wrap him in blanket after blanket, saving one. He had to admire the young girls professional attitude. With a whistle the mabari that was standing out front came in and hopped onto the bottom of the cot, resting near Christopher's feet. She used the remaining blanket to cover the dog and add more coverage to Christopher's feet before moving to stand. She had been crouched for so long that she staggered when she stood up, Solas caught her.

"Someday you're going to have to explain how you know so much, _da'len_." He spoke quietly. Raven nodded, still looking at the young mage. Michelle stood up and stared at the redhead in shock.

"What do we do now?" She asked.

"We've done all we can for right now. The shivering was a good sign and it means his body temperature hasn't dropped too low. Don't massage any limbs and I don't recommend any hot baths or hot drinks right now. He'll be okay though." She insisted and turned to leave the tent. Cullen was outside with Cassandra, Josephine, and Leliana. The crowd that had been gathering was gone. A cold gust of wind made her pull the blanket Krem let her borrow tighter around her small frame. She wasn't wearing her sweatshirt or the coat made or her when Haven was attacked; just a pair of black pants and a simple shirt that she just realized was still stained. She'd grab a shirt from Krem later since it was doubtful Bull would have any she could borrow.

"When I sent you in to help I did not mean for you to kick Adan out of the tent and cut off the Herald's clothes." Cullen admonished and Raven threw him a disbelieving look.

"You sent me in to help. It's not my fault I know more about practical methods than your grumpy potions master. Christopher is resting now. The spell Solas used to keep the inside of that tent warm should last another few hours now if you're done I'll be heading back to where the Chargers are for a nap. Stupidity makes me tired." Cullen's face softened and he reached out to stop her as she turned to walk away.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to make it seem like I was scolding you. He's really alright?" He asked. Raven looked back at him and gave a slow nod.

"His body temperature didn't drop too low and being out of those wet clothes will help. He's wrapped in at least six blankets and that mabari is at his feet. Michelle will probably keep an eye on him." She informed in a much calmer voice. "I don't know how long he will sleep for, he's probably exhausted. Is there anything else Cullen?" 

"Chancellor Roderick passed while you were taking care of the Herald." Cullen responded and it made Raven look away. In the game he didn't die until people were singing, if they were to sing anyway. That would probably explain where Cole was, not that she would seek him out. He was always her favorite character in the game but the words he spoke when they were together at most an hour ago still echoed in her mind. She never expected him to bring up her mother.

"That's a shame. When we get out of this mess and some place more stable we should hold a ceremony for him as well as any others we lost." As much as she hated it, Raven's voice didn't hold the amount of sympathy that was most likely acceptable. She was exhausted and she begrudgingly admitted to herself that Bull and Krem were right about her taking it easy. 

"You also don't have to sleep with the Chargers. A tent has been set up for you." Cullen said while looking over to the smaller group of tents where he, the rest of the advisors, and Cassandra would be sleeping. He could see the empty tent set up for her with both bags placed inside by Varric earlier. With a quick glance over to the tents she noticed the makeshift war table and wasn't sure what to think. Did they want her close because they didn't trust her again? The thought hurt her but it was to be expected after her actions back at Haven. She needed to talk to Varric as well but quickly decided she would do that later.

"Thanks but you didn't have to go through the trouble. If he wakes up before I do please send someone to let me know." She replied quietly and pulled her arm out of Cullen's light grasp. He let her go and watched her walk away without a word and that alone answered her questions. Raven thought back to the games and the roles he'd played in them; if he was suspicious of her he would've made it known. As annoying as he was she couldn't deny that he was an honorable man. Handsome too, Raven supposed with a shrug as she entered the part of camp where the Chargers were set up and was relieved when she saw that Bull and Krem were still awake and around the fire. Varric was with them. Krem stopped mid-sentence when he noticed her coming back to them and that caught the attention of the two other men. She looked absolutely exhausted and none of them were happy to see her still caked in the blood of that red Templar. Most of her anyway, it looked like some from her face was gone and all three wondered if it was she or someone else that had done it.

"Are you okay?" Krem asked as she sat down against one of the pieces of wood and brought her knees to her chest. She covered her mouth as she yawned and nodded.

"They found Christopher. I had to take over since Adan doesn't know shit outside of potions. Seriously, who keeps an unconscious, shivering, half frozen man in cold soaking light armor? Remind me to punt the dumbass tomorrow when I have more energy." She vented and the three looked at her before chuckling at her last comment.

"Ginger if you're that tired why come back here? Didn't Curly or Ruffles let you know that you have a tent set up?" Varric's question was met with a shrug and he didn't like how her grip curled around the blanket. Something was bothering her but she wouldn't say anything. Instead she looked over to him and smiled.

"Krem said I could sleep with him. What girl would ever pass that up?" She commented and looked at Krem in time to see his cheeks turn a shade redder than what the cold had already done. Bull and Varric laughed. "Could I borrow one of your shirts as well?"

"Of course, give me a minute and I'll be back." He replied and stood up. Wasting no time he made way to his tent where he grabbed one of his clean black shirts and threw it on his shoulder, a cloth, and a bowl which he filled up with water on the way back. It was warm, something he had to thank Dalish and her undercover magic for. When Krem appeared by the fire again he sat down next to Raven with the supplies at hand. Varric was in the middle of telling a story and didn't stop as he watched the young kid sit next to his friend. She was surprised when he wet the cloth and brought it to her skin but kept his eyes on hers. They all knew Raven was capable of cleaning herself but Krem knew it would help her relax and that he would be able to get all of it without much trouble. The blood on her face anyway, he'd let her take care of the rest.

An hour later she was finally free from most of the blood and Raven was grateful. Krem had wiped down the rest of her face, behind her ears, neck, and back. She took care of her shoulders, arms, chest, and stomach where blood had seeped through her shirt. Varric had wandered off towards his tent shortly after the process started and Bull had gone to bed half an hour ago leaving only Krem and Raven. Krem turned away when she stripped her shirt and bra by the fire, truthfully too tired to care. Her pg-13 nudity didn't last long anyway, once the blood was gone she threw on the black shirt he'd brought for her and sighed in contentment as the soft cloth covered her skin. All that was left was her hair but it was too cold to soak it, which would be reserved for later so she just tied it back with one of the hair ties always around her wrist.

"Shall we go?" She asked and Krem nodded, standing up when she did. She followed Krem to his tent with her shirt, bra, and blanket clutched in her hands. He allowed her in first and part of her wanted to cry when she saw the thick, heavy blanket they would be using. She stripped her boots and pants then slid under the blanket. Krem soon followed having taken off his armor outside. He wore a simple pair of pants, or breeches as he called them, and a tan shirt that was the same style as the one he gave her.

"You're not nervous are you?" He asked her as he joined her under the blanket. It was dim in the tent but he could still see her shrug. "I mean, there's no reason to be nervous. I would never do anything." Raven giggled as he tried to explain.

"I've never slept in the same bed as a man." She admitted, "But at least it's with you. I trust you." Krem smiled at the girl and continued sitting, watching as she relaxed, laid back and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders. Soon after he did the same, all nervousness forgotten and soon they were asleep, side by side but comfortable and warm.

 

Raven was alone when she awoke, whether it was morning or afternoon she couldn't tell but she smiled when she noticed a clean pair of leggings, pants, socks, underwear, a bra, a long sleeved shirt, and the coat given to her by her friends in a neat pile where Krem had slept the night before. It didn't take her long to strip the shirt and underwear she was wearing and change into the clothes left. The leggings she used like long underwear and was grateful to pull her pants over them. She needed the warmth. Once she had on her coat and boots she gathered her dirty clothes and made her way out of the tent. Stitches was the first one she saw and he smiled as she approached.

"It's not every day I see you sleeping late." He commented, "Everyone's been up for about an hour. Little blond kid brought you clothes about twenty minutes ago and asked me to tell you that Cullen wants to talk to you when you're up." Raven nodded and with a smile she made her way toward the war table knowing that was where he would most likely be.

It took her longer to get to the war table than it should have. More people from Haven were awake, people she'd helped save, and upon seeing her they made their appreciation known. With women and the couple children it was mostly hugs and promises of repayment, men offered handshakes. Cullen was at the war table with Leliana, Cassandra, Josephine, and Solas. Instead of addressing the Commander right away she approached the mage who kindly smiled at her.

"You look much better today," Solas acknowledged kindly, thinking back to the night before and all the blood covering her as well as the exhaustion she tried her best to hide. There was still some blood in her hair but she looked much more human now, "did you sleep well?"

"I did. Krem has this huge blanket that I think is made of fennec fur and I've decided that I will someday own one for myself. How's Christopher?" She asked wanting to waste no time with small talk when it came to her half frozen friend.

"I've kept up the high temperature like you wanted. He's still asleep but his breathing is much calmer and he's moved a bit. The healer who helped you last night dressed him in some spare cold resistant light armor earlier this morning but we still have a few blankets on him." He told her, still impressed with how she'd handled last night's situation. Raven nodded and to the mage's surprise she reached forward and gave him a quick hug. When she pulled back he saw she was smiling.

"Thank you. We'll talk later?" She asked and when he nodded she made her way to the others. They all stared at her curiously, Cullen was the most obvious about it. Something was different and Raven didn't like it. Leliana was the first one to notice the young girls discomfort so she was the one to break the silence.

"You're not in trouble," Leliana spoke, almost amused at Raven's suddenly confused expression. "It's quite the opposite actually."

"Yesterday was hard on us all." Cullen started hoping to grab the girl's attention. His head had been pounding for the last few hours and the pain made it hard to think. Raven looked to him and he noticed her stance subtly shift, her body no longer relaxed like it had been when she was talking with the mage. "I will apologize again for treating you the way I did last night, it was wrong of me." He watched her head cock to the side in confusion.

"I don't understand. You didn't treat me poorly Cullen and if I gave you that impression then I'm the one who should be sorry. I admit that I was tired last night and I can get mean when I'm tired but it wasn't because of you." She really was confused as she apologized to him. Aside from the comment he made about her cutting off Christopher's armor and letting her know she had a tent if she wanted it they had barely spoken since the Chantry yesterday. Cullen stared at the girl almost as confused as she was. Maybe it was the lack of sleep but he didn't understand why she thought she should apologize. Leliana's eyes moved back and forth between the two even more amused and it was clear that they both needed more rest. She continued for the Commander since it was obvious they wouldn't get anywhere and she knew there were still people wanting to speak to the young girl.

"Varric came to me last night and told me what happened when the warning bell rang at Haven, how you went to each house and made sure all the civilians were in the Chantry. He hasn't been the only one to mention this either. Without you we would have lost so many instead of the few soldiers and agents in the field and the Herald would most likely be in worse condition than he is now." Leliana explained while holding Raven's gaze.

"The people I care about were in danger so I acted. Christopher was hurt and it was obvious the healers had never dealt with someone in that condition before so I stepped in. I'm glad they're safe but it's something anyone would've done." Raven responded simply, happy to hear that she could help so many people but also knowing it was what she had to do. They were making it seem like she had a choice when she didn't. She knew what was going to happen and doing the right thing wasn't a _can_ but a _must_. Leliana could only give her a smile, understanding that she wasn't entirely comfortable with praise. She wouldn't go unrewarded though because despite the girl's words she was the very first one who jumped into action.

"You almost died last night, your hand was broken yet you wanted to stay and defend the Chantry in case any of the red Templar's broke through." Cullen spoke up and even he could tell his voice was angrier than he'd intended but how could she shrug off her actions like they weren't important? "Do you honestly view yourself as that insignificant to think what you've done for us doesn't matter?" Through his anger he could tell he'd crossed the line when the small girl's entire body stiffened and she shot him a glare worthy of making even the bravest person whither. She had to clench her fists, her nails digging into the palms of her hands, to keep from seeing red.

"Let's get one thing perfectly clear _Commander_ ," Raven seethed, her voice low and dangerous, "The last thing I need is for some prejudicial, self loathing ex-templar withdrawing on lyrium getting on my fucking case because I'm not vain or smug about being a goddamned decent human being. I'm aware I helped a lot of people. _They_ have been reminding me and thanking me all morning so don't you dare speak to me like I'm not aware of how important the choices I made yesterday were." Without another word Raven turned on her heel and walked off. Leliana noticed the drops of blood on the ground where Raven once stood and sighed as she looked over to Cullen. His face was significantly paler than what it had been five minutes ago and she couldn't blame him.

"You're lucky she didn't have her daggers." Cassandra mused and she saw Leliana nod in agreement. Cullen continued to stare at the young redhead as she continued to walk away. Before she was out of sight he saw the blond boy with the odd hat appear by her side and walk with her.

"What were you thinking?" Josephine finally exclaimed, "The purpose of summoning here was to formally bring her into the Inquisition - as an advisor, no less - and you ruined it!" Cullen turned to glare at the Ambassador.

"She's been training our recruits, helping the Herald in the field, and been brought in on planning our course of action. Just because she never pledged her allegiance doesn't mean she isn't already a part of our cause!" Cullen argued.

"With her knowledge and training Raven has the power to be a very beneficial ally or a dangerous enemy. We need her Commander." Cassandra spoke as she readjusted her position, "Hopefully Cole will be able to calm her down by the time I find her." Cullen watched in silence as Cassandra left to go after the young girl. After her departure Leliana went to find Mother Giselle and Josephine politely excused herself leaving Cullen alone and angry at both himself and Raven. There was no reason for her to get to him the way she did so why did it matter so much to him how she felt and what she thought? Why did the hatred in her eyes as she left hurt?

 

"Please don't cry." Cole quietly begged as he followed Raven away from the camp. Her hurt hadn't just called out to him moments ago, it had screamed and Cole was surprised that he could keep up with the fast pace she was walking. He wanted to help her but didn't know how and it wasn't until she reached a large pine tree half a mile outside camp that she stopped. He hadn't been expecting it and almost bumped into her. One of his hands reached out to gently grab her wrist to see the blood still dripping from the wound her fingernails had caused. She had matching marks on her other hand; they weren't deep but hurt just enough to keep her from lashing out and crying.

"You don't need to be out here Cole." She replied and Cole flinched at how empty her voice had sounded. Her mind was still screaming but was somehow easier to hear and Cole tried his best to understand but her hurt only confused him more. The Commander cared for her, wanted her safe and protected so why was he the reason she was hurting?

"Insignificant, insecure, and embarrassed. Such anger and misunderstandings; he didn't mean to hurt you the way he did. He doesn't understand and lashes out just like you don't understand and walk away. Scared and lonely, you want _him_ just like when you were home and not here. He was always there with you. He always made it better when you felt overwhelmed and helped you when you didn't understand. I'm not him but I want to help." Cole spoke in a rush to keep up with her thoughts. A deep voice playing in her mind, flashes of warmth and happiness were so vibrant. She wasn't like the others. Without thinking Cole moved so that he was facing her he reached up and removed his hat, the one thing she wanted to wear when they met last night, and placed it gently on her head. For the first time since he'd appeared by her side she looked up at him.

"How do I look?" She asked him quietly, angling her head so he could see her face better. His hat looked funny on her but he enjoyed her smile. She was feeling better and she was quick to speak as he readied himself to make her forget him. "Don't make me forget okay. I don't want to forget you." Her request caused him to step back and stare. She wanted to remember him. Peaceful, excited, happy. He made her feel those things. She wasn't scared of him like others were. She knew what he was and what he wanted and didn't hate him. It was strange and Cole didn't know what to say so instead he made quick work of tearing off a part of his sleeve and using it as a bandage, wrapping it around her hand to soak up the blood. She watched him as he did the same thing with her other hand.

"You look like me." He finally told her. From where he stood he could see Cassandra approaching them. She was curious about him and why Raven was suddenly wearing his hat. Raven noticed that Cole was no longer looking at her and had to turn her entire body to follow his focus because of how big his hat was. Cassandra was approaching them. "She wants to make sure you're okay." Cole whispered before disappearing causing Cassandra to halt in surprise. Raven made her way to the other woman and looked up at her, fully seeing the appeal of appearing mysterious under the large brim as it blocked part of her face.

"He disappeared again!" Cassandra exclaimed and it caused Raven to nod.

"Cole tends to do that. I'm sorry I stormed off back there." The young girl apologized. Cassandra stared down at her not able to see her expression under the large hat. Raven looked down as Cassandra's hand made contact with her shoulder.

"I would have done the same. Cullen was out of line and deserved your retaliation. I would like to talk to you if you are willing." She requested and had to bite back a smile as Raven nodded making that ridiculous hat move with her motions. They slowly made their way back to camp. Cassandra had followed her to make sure she was okay and that didn't go unappreciated.

"I realize you were trying to commend me for what I did." Raven suddenly broke the silence and Cassandra looked down at the girl. She knew Leliana and Josephine would eventually talk to her about what she'd done and what they wanted to do going further but in the girl's current state it would be best to let her know.

"They want to bring you into the Inquisition." She revealed and though she couldn't see Raven's face she knew the girl's eyes were probably wide and her jaw had dropped just a little.

"I thought I was already part of the Inquisition." Cassandra could hear the confusion in Raven's voice.

"What I meant was that with you doing so much for all of them they want to bring you on as an advisor." Raven took a step back hardly able to understand Cassandra's words. Why would they want her as an advisor? She lacked anything and everything needed to fill that sort of role.

"Thank you for telling me. It'll give me time to find the words to decline their offer. It means a lot that I helped people but the mentality of needing to act and do what's right is something I grew up with and I am sorry if it came off as cavalier." They were in the middle of camp, halfway between the Charger's and the war table.

"I understand that mentality but don't let it consume you. We still have a lot to talk about so when you're ready we'll be here." Cassandra told her and with one last smile made her way back to the advisors. From his camp Solas watched the young girl look after the Seeker for a moment before making her way back to Krem's tent. Cole did the same from his seat around the Charger's fire pit though she didn't see him. No one saw him until they needed him or he wanted them to. He smiled, somehow happy that she was still wearing his hat.

 


	10. Interesting Developments

It wasn't until after the sun had set that Raven finally decided to approach Leliana, Josephine, Cullen, and Cassandra at the war table. In the hours since she'd spoken to Cassandra she'd spent her time in Krem's tent going over all the polite ways of refusal that her father had taught her and that she'd learned from the many books and movies collected throughout her years. She still hadn't decided on what to say but needed to get it over with. Cole quickly and quietly followed her from the camp. He remained unseen by everyone he passed; their hurts weren't so bad anymore. Seeing Christopher return had eased their doubt, worry, and pain. He'd also done all he could for the wounded soldiers of Haven.

When she finally approached the table covered in maps and pieces marking positions Cullen was the first of the advisors Raven saw and the echoes of Cullen's hurt still spoke to Cole. It was muffled under the pounding in his head as he tried to decide what their best action would be since they no longer had Haven but Cole could tell that the events from before still plagued him. Images of the anger and hurt he'd caused her were responsible for the sinking feeling in his stomach and his own pain from Raven's reply to his comment was still fresh in his heart. It had been a sharp, calculated, and brutal response. She knew what to say to make him hurt like he'd done to her. _How did she know?_ Cole could feel the shame in the back of Raven's mind as she continued to stare at him. When Cullen looked up to see the small figure standing quietly no less than ten feet from him he almost mistook her for Cole because of the large hat but then noticed her long red hair and the jacket she was so fond of. He didn't expect her to come back, at least not while he was around. Josephine appeared from her tent and both Leliana and Cassandra noticed her from where they stood outside Christopher's tent talking quietly. The young mage was still sleeping.

"We weren't expecting to see you back so soon." Cullen addressed as professionally as he could, not liking that he couldn't see her face and the expression she wore under the large hat. "Doesn't that belong to Cole?" He asked only remembering the young mans name because Raven had addressed him as such the night before in Haven's Chantry. Raven reached up to the hats large brim and Cole saw her smile as her fingers lightly traced over the material. Her hands were still wrapped in parts of his shirt from earlier.

"I'm keeping it safe until I see him again." She replied simply and from their position Leliana and Cassandra smiled before moving to join Cullen at the table. They couldn't see her expression from their vantage points but her voice seemed pleasant enough and she still didn't have hers or Cole's daggers strapped to back. That didn't make her any less dangerous but they all knew she wouldn't attack without weapons unless she had no other choice.

"We were in the middle of a discussion before things got heated between you and the Commander," Josephine spoke as she picked up her writing board from the table that outlined the offer they wanted to present to the young girl. It was separated into three parts and she took a quick moment to review the content of Cullen's untidy scribble, Leliana's small calligraphy, and the elegant curls of her own letters to make sure everything was correct. When she looked up from the papers Raven nodded and her hands clasped behind her back, "And we have an offer for you." She finally finished.

"We want you to become an advisor for the Inquisition." Leliana spoke and Cole could tell that the three advisors and Cassandra all wanted her to accept. Raven didn't want to. _Inadequate, overwhelming, insecure, unfamiliar; it isn't what I know. This is a mistake._ Her voice rang a somber melody in his ears and his chest somehow hurt because of it.

"Thank you for your gracious offer but I'm going to have to decline." She replied cordially, without hesitation, and all but Cassandra were surprised. Raven liked the hat she was wearing, somehow she could see all their expressions but they couldn't see hers. Cullen looked angry again and she knew he was still in pain. Back in the game it was obvious when the lyrium withdraw was getting to him. Here it was no different and even if she didn't know that he no longer took it the change in his personality was evident that something was wrong. He was usually much more relaxed and patient.

"Forgive me but may I ask why you are so quick to decline our offer?" Josephine asked still clearly surprised. Had Cullen's words been the reason behind her choice? If so, Josephine would have to fix the damage and fast.

"I'm not a Commander, a Spymaster, or a Diplomat like any of you and I have no connections to speak of. I've already joined the Inquisition; I help train Cullen's recruits and run reports. I help Christopher and others when they need me. What else could I possibly do?" Raven asked meaning for it to be rhetorical. The title of 'Advisor' would only bring a harrowing responsibility and unwanted pressures and problems. She would continue to help if it was needed but she didn't want the added on stress.

"What you do wouldn't change much. You would still help train Cullen's recruits but you would help train my agents as well. You'd attend meetings and judgments, give your council to us and to Christopher when we cannot." Leliana informed while moving around the table in order to lean back against it while still facing Raven.

"I'm sensing there's more." Raven commented, interested in what the terms were. Leliana was right; Raven did half the things listed anyway and usually offers came with a type of privilege, condition, or reward. Josephine came forward with her writing board and stood next to her friend.

"In return we would also supply you with further training should you wish. There are quite a few specializations for rogues, especially for one with your skill set. Also Cullen would train you in combat, battle, and military strategy, Leliana would teach you to gather information and use it to your advantage, and I would teach you what needs to be done to gain connections throughout Thedas as well as etiquette and politics." Raven was stunned and it was obvious as she took a step back that she wasn't expecting there to be so much. Cole tried to keep up with her thoughts but they were scrambled and sporadic so instead he tried focusing on the others. It was important to them that she accept. _Maker's breath that hat looks funny on her_. That was Cullen's thought and Cole had to look over towards Raven to see what he was talking about but he couldn't understand what was so funny. He _liked_ his hat on her. It made her smile.

"Why?" Raven asked simply, already having a guess why they'd choose those subjects to teach her. No one outside of the Inquisition really knew her. With Leliana's and Josephine's lessons she could be one hell of a spy and Raven would be lying if she said the idea didn't appeal to her. Raven already had some military training but Cullen was smart and she knew he could teach her a thing or two. When no one answered her question Raven spoke again, "You want me as a spy."

"That's one way of putting it." Leliana answered and Cole could tell the woman was impressed with Raven's quick conclusion. _She doesn't even realize her potential._ "You would be paid as well once we get everything settled. When Christopher wakes we'll figure out what to do." Silence stretched between them. _What if she declines? What would it take to persuade her?_ It was the woman Raven called Josephine that Cole heard and he knew she didn't need to worry. Raven had already made her decisions but would discuss it with them later. 

"You're serious about teaching me all this?" Raven was clearly perplexed as she spoke but earned a nod from Leliana. She stared at the Spymaster and then her eyes moved to Josephine and Cullen. "And this is something you all agreed to?"

"We did. Christopher brought it up after the incident with Alexius. Your actions at Haven confirmed it. I understand if you need time to think about what has been offered to you. We will be here." Leliana replied. Raven nodded and turned to leave, needing to get away from them and somewhere to think. It wasn't until she was about ten steps from them that Cole appeared at her side. She felt his presence before she turned and saw him. _Stalker._

"I am not _stalking_ you." He protested once the thought crossed her mind and she giggled. It took him a moment to realize that she wasn't serious as he continued to follow her. She was thinking of the offer presented to her, the way Cullen looked when he discovered she was there, and Christopher still sleeping in the tent. He should've been awake by now and she was starting to worry.

"Is there any ulterior motive behind them offering me this?" Raven asked. Cole noticed they were going nowhere in particular, just walking around the camp. He thought back to the four people she met with and couldn't recall any of them wanting to wish her harm. He would've addressed it.

"Cullen thought you looked funny in my hat." He told her but wished he hadn't when she suddenly stopped and turned to him. She was smiling as she reached out and brushed some of his hair aside before removing his hat and putting it back on his head. Her hair was untied and messy and Cole watched her in a fascinated silence as she combed the waist length tresses with her fingers and eventually twisted and wrapped  then as a group so it became shorter before tying it back.

"I probably did. It looks better on you anyway." She replied simply and continued walking like nothing had happened.

 

It had been hours since Christopher had woken, too warm and constricted in blankets but when he heard the voices of Cassandra and his three advisors he knew he was safe. Leliana was the first to notice he was awake and while she helped him drink some water Cullen had one of his soldiers run to fetch someone. Raven and Solas had appeared side by side moments later as he was sitting up and peeling horrid blankets off his body and onto the ground. Raven was relieved, Christopher realized as she smiled at him. Even after Solas left she had taken a seat on the ground and leaned against his cot wanting him to continue resting. Mother Giselle joined them not long after and in those hours, now that he was awake, the planning began making rest an impossibility. All he had was a headache. Mother Giselle stopped him from standing.

"Shh, you need rest." She told him quietly and Christopher noticed how tired the Chantry mother looked. He couldn't rest, not with them fighting.

"They've been at it for hours." He commented and noticed Raven nod silently at his words. He wondered if she had a headache like his? Her fingers were moving in a circular motion in a place on her other hand and he had to wonder what it was for.

"They have that luxury thanks to you. The enemy could not follow and with time to doubt we turn to blame." It wasn't blame, Christopher thought to himself. There were so many worries now, so many people without anywhere to go. He didn't even know where they were. "Infighting may threaten as much as this Corypheus."

"Do we know where Corypheus and his forces are?" He asked and Mother Giselle shook her head.

"We are not sure where we are. Which may be why, despite the numbers he still commands, there is no sign of him. That, or you are believed dead. Or without Haven we are thought helpless. Or he girds for another attack. I cannot claim to know the mind of that creature, only his effect on us." Hell she knew how to throw it all out there but Raven nodded in agreement, not saying anything, there was no need. Christopher was awake and seemed to be doing alright but she had to wonder how it would play out. They sing in the game and it's Solas who takes him aside to tell him of the orb and Skyhold but based on the last day there was no chance it would play out that way so all she could do was hope for the best.

"If that thing is still out there we need to move." Christopher said while motioning to get up. Raven made no attempt to move and with the one remaining blanket on him it was a little difficult to get around her. She was doing it on purpose, he knew it. So far Mother Giselle's words didn't seem to be much different. She was a wise woman, explaining to Christopher the effect of his return had on the people of Haven. Christopher was sitting up completely now and noticed the robes he wore before had been changed to a different, warmer pair. It was appreciated.

"If the enemy is still out there these questions don't matter." He said while standing, "We need soldiers, weapons. Corypheus doesn't care what we believe." His legs were weak but he managed to turn, walking away from the two women who were still seated at his bedside and when he left the tent he had to stop. Cassandra peered over the war table frustrated and looking like she had more to say, Josephine and Leliana sat together near the fire, and Cullen stood looking away from them all. It was quiet, the atmosphere almost seemed hopeless and Christopher was at a loss. What could he possibly say to them? Raven stood up and made her way out of the tent, dusting snow off her butt in the process. She still didn't say anything even as she passed Christopher and made her way to Josephine and Leliana. She was the only one to watch Christopher look down, not knowing what to do.

That was when the singing started and Raven had to bite her lip to keep from saying anything. The mother's voice was absolutely beautiful, even more so than in the game. Christopher looked back at her as she moved toward him, her voice growing loud enough for others to hear in the silence. Leliana joined in shortly after, her soprano tone blending in beautifully with Giselle's alto and Raven had to fight back tears as she saw others appear. Soldiers, civilians, and even Cullen started to sing. She watched Christopher stand there not knowing what to do and how to respond as people started to kneel in front of him. Something to the right caught Raven's attention and when she looked over Cole was standing there just as quiet as she in his patchy clothes and large hat. He seemed to be just as confused as Christopher but he still gave her a small smile when he looked her way. She also noticed Solas appear behind Christopher and Giselle, keeping enough distance to get away with not singing, though Raven doubted he knew the words, but close enough to observe.

"Corypheus will care. The best answers to powerful lies are certain truths." Giselle advised quietly before walking away. Christopher watched her leave while contemplating her parting words. Maybe she was right. Solas was quiet and inconspicuous as he grabbed Christopher's attention. He wanted to start discussing the Inquisitions next move but followed his fellow mage knowing that if he wanted to speak in private it must be important. With one last glance at Raven who was now speaking quietly to Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine he followed Solas out of camp.

 

An hour later Raven saw Christopher and Solas walking back towards camp from her place around the fire. However once they reached the boundaries of the camp they went their separate ways. Christopher made his way to the war table to discuss plans with Cassandra and three of his advisors. Provided the offer still stood once they reached Skyhold Raven would accept their offer which would make her the forth. Solas walked her way seeming lost in thought and she could only imagine the thoughts running through his head. He nearly walked past her when he stopped and looked down to see her with a smile.

"So how open was he about Skyhold?" Raven asked casually and Solas nearly dropped his staff. There was no way she could know of the fortress. He had just learned about it in the fade and she didn't even seem to have a connection with it. Had the spirit... Had Cole read his mind and told her?

"How do you know of Skyhold?" He asked quietly not wanting anyone to hear. She motioned to the empty seat next to her and Solas quickly sat down. Raven wasn't smiling anymore and truthfully had no idea why she was going to tell him what she knew. It was getting hard to keep it in. Her knowledge effected them all.

"I know a lot of things. Skyhold is the next step though and I want to make sure Christopher's up for the journey after going through what he did. The fortress is really worth it. I like the garden." Solas was baffled at the girls words and his anger was quickly rising at her avoidance to answering his question.

"I need you to tell me how you know of Skyhold and what else you know." Solas tried to speak calmly. He thought back to the Hinterlands and how she knew where to go and what to do though she'd never been there before, how she seemed to greet Dorian and Felix with such familiarity, and knew of the sickness that boy had. The questions never left the mages mind but she claimed not to be a spy and everything she had done did nothing but help the Inquisitions cause. "You knew of Haven too. That's how you were able to react so quickly and help save all those civilians." He watched her nod.

"Where I'm from the events playing out right here and now are nothing more than games and stories meant for entertainment. I also know of Alistair and the Hero of Ferelden, The Champion of Kirkwall, and this - the events of the Inquisition. The people are different than what I'm used to but the events don't change." Revealing the truth was a lot simpler than Raven thought it would be and the sudden… lightness on her shoulders and in her mind felt more than pleasant. Solas stared at her and she had to wonder if her revelation had put the poor mage in shock.

"Where are you from exactly?" He choked out and Raven was quick to grab the water canteen Krem had given her and hand it to him. He respectfully declined and she could see his mind racing and the worry that was quick to show. She wasn't sure what topic he was worried about but nodded. "So you know that I'm…" He started but trailed off. Raven confirmed in another nod and he wanted to run like he should've after the conclave, "Why don't you tell anyone?" She shrugged in response. There was no reason for telling anyone.

"Aside from me having a great amount of respect for you it really isn't my place to say anything. You had good intentions behind your actions all those years ago and I can't fault you for that." Raven explained quietly. Solas continued to stare at her even as she smiled. Their silence was interrupted by the sound snow and rocks crunching under the weight of footsteps. She looked away from the elf to see Christopher approaching them. Solas watched her stand and rush to give him a gentle hug before any words were spoken. He was quick to notice that the young mage wouldn't meet her eye.

"I was told you took over for the healers when I was found, I wanted to say thank you." He said kindly and Raven quickly caught on to his reason for not looking directly at her. With a smile she looked back at Solas, gave him a quick wink, and turned to Christopher again.

"All I did was cut off your wet robes and throw a few blankets over you. Solas was the one to remove your underwear. It's him you should really thank." Christopher's eyes shot to her and then Solas as a horrified expression crossed his face and Raven had to guess that they didn't tell him or they didn't know. When she turned to see Solas she was pleased to see that his and Christopher's expression matched.

"Y-yes… thank you Solas. I… we… we're going to start our journey tomorrow. If you could let everyone know I'll be… I'll be doing the same. Thank you again." Raven had to resist the urge to laugh and hug him again as he stuttered their plans before quickly walking away. When he was at safe distance Raven turned toward Solas again and seeing that the elf refused to look at her caused her to collapse onto her knees and start laughing.

"I don't see how that was necessary." Solas scolded when her laughter had died down. Her stomach hurt and her eyes were watering. He was watching her as she stood up, did a quick stretch, and with a smile still playing across her face she announced that she was going to let the people know of the plans that had been reached. Any questions he had for her would have to wait till Skyhold.

 

Throughout her twenty years Raven had gone through and seen a fair amount of things that she knew would stay with her for the rest of her life. She'd been there during the birth of her cousin Josh and remembered the joy she felt when she held him; at the age of fifteen her dog Angel had passed away from cancer and Raven remembered the remorse and feeling of abandonment of having to bring her best friend in for cremation but the excitement while climbing that final hill and gazing upon Skyhold for the first time almost a week ago was so overwhelming that Raven almost wept. The game couldn't even begin to compare as Raven walked with the former citizens of Haven and members of the Inquisition along the stone bridge. Varric had walked quietly at her side and even stopped to watch her peer over the ledge to see the water, ice, and snow hundreds of feet below them.

Now days later as she wandered the courtyard she let her fingers trail over the laid stone walls and wooden doors still seeming to be in her own little world. The air was lighter in the mountains, clean and fresh, and Raven could feel the power Skyhold once held and continued to hold throughout its years. Varric watched her in slight amusement and was soon joined by Solas and Cole. Once the girl was out of hearing range Varric let out a chuckle.

"I can only imagine what's going through her mind right now." The dwarf mused and Solas glanced over at Cole who continued to stare at the door Raven had just gone through. _Abandoned for years and yearning for someone to claim it. Never thought I'd be here. Everything will change now._ Coming to the conclusion that Cole wouldn't say anything Solas smiled at Varric and had to wonder if Raven had said anything to him as well about what she happened to know. As her friend Varric would most likely keep her secret.

"It's beautiful, maybe they don't have buildings like this where she's from." Solas commented while trying to act indifferent. Varric looked at Cole as the spirit started frantically shaking his head. He'd seen pictures in her mind as she thought about home and as she slept. Buildings bigger and taller than any castle made from all types of stone and glass. One house in particular always meant more to her than the others, it brought the most happiness and hurt.

"Stone laid out like a fortress, colored glass reflecting on the wooden floor, a room full of mirrors and weapons while music plays, loud, blaring, fast as she steps in time to the melody. Muscles hurt. Hands sweaty. It makes the daggers hard to grip. I can't do this, she says, but his smile says he knows she can." Cole rambled and Varric reached out to lay a hand on the kids shoulder but he moved away before contact could be made.

"Kid what are you…?" He tried to ask but was cut off as Cole disappeared. Varric stumbled back in surprise. There were rumors that the kid could appear and disappear at will but he'd never seen it. It only took a moment to compose himself and he looked up at Solas. The elf was aware of Varric looking up at him but kept his eyes on the spirit as Cole suddenly appeared at the door Raven had gone through and calmly entered. What was their connection, he wondered. After years of studying the fade he could easily tell what Cole was: a spirit of compassion, in which his nature would compel him to help those in pain but Raven never appeared hurt, at least in the kind of way that a spirit like Cole would be drawn to. Solas could only assume through what she'd told him that she also knew what Cole was even though whenever they spoke she addressed Cole as 'he' and 'him' much like Krem, Bull's second in command.

"Varric you said he just showed up out of nowhere before Haven was attacked?" Solas asked while looking down at the dwarf. Varric nodded thinking back to the other night and seeing the kid for the first time in the chantry.

"Probably, I don't know when he showed up. When Haven was attacked Raven recruited me to help her clear homes. I spoke to Nightingale about it but that only took a few seconds. He was in the Chantry when I showed up and I didn't see him again till your little group reached the camp. What are you thinking Chuckles?" Varric spoke as he caught the sight of Raven coming back outside and slowly make her way to them. Her eyes were brighter, the dwarf thought and smiled at her.

Before Raven could reach her friends she was stopped by Josephine and Leliana. Cullen and Cassandra were not far behind the two. Raven stared at them all curiously, her head still partially reeling from the small part of Skyhold she'd explored so far but she managed to smile and follow their conversation. She never thought she'd be consulted in the decision to make Christopher leader of the Inquisition but she nodded in response when they asked. From Raven's viewpoint she could see when Christopher made his way over to their small group. Cullen was the one to grab her by the arm and lead her off as he grew closer. Soon she knew that he was just left with Cassandra and the scene from the game played in her mind. She stayed beside Cullen throughout the ceremony, which she admitted was more powerful in real life then in the game, and cheered with the people crowded around the stairs to watch Christopher accept and hold up that big ass sword. Once it was over she smiled one last time at Cullen and made her way over to Solas and Varric who were still standing fifteen yards away.

"Ginger!" Varric exclaimed, "It's been way too long." She rolled her eyes in response, it had only been less than twenty minutes, but she hugged the man anyway. When she broke the hug he gave her a smile.

"It seems the Inquisition has an official leader." She told him quietly. Varric knew it was inevitable that Christopher would be named the one to lead their cause. With that mark on his hand and the way he stood against Corypheus and lived; he brought them hope and that was something they all needed, himself included.

"I was wondering when they would finally bring it to Christopher's attention." Solas remarked and watched Raven nod at his statement. Every day more people would arrive to join and support the Inquisition that up until today didn't have a leader, a mage, no less.

"Now that it's finally happening Ginger you can talk to them about what they offered you." Varric pointed out with a smile and earned a shrug from his young friend. Solas looked at her confused and Varric suddenly realized that she must not have told many people. Solas wanted to ask her what was offered but she must have had a reason for not telling him.

 

Later that night after dinner while Christopher was meeting with Varric and Hawke on the battlements Raven was quick to make her way to the war room where the three advisors could usually be found. They all looked at her curiously as she knocked on the door before opening it to see them around their new war table. It was much larger and fancier than the ones they had at Haven and in the camp. Of course now they were at Skyhold a lot of things were upgraded.

"Is this a good time?" Raven asked quietly. Leliana smiled and motioned for her to come in, which Raven did and softly closed the heavy wooden door behind her.

"Is everything alright?" Josephine asked and she nodded in response, "Are you satisfied with your new room?" Raven nodded again.

"My room is so beautiful. Thank you for letting me choose one so close to the garden. It's close to the war room too which should make things easier." Raven commented casually and she noticed how Leliana was the only one to smile. Josephine and Cullen stared at her confused. "I know it's been longer than expected but does that offer still stand?"

"Of course the offer still stands." Josephine answered while picking up her writing board and flipping through the papers to find the outline of the offer given to her. "I have a copy for you here unless… unless you still have decided to decline?" Raven stared at the pretty Antivan woman who held out a large piece of thick parchment. From where she stood maybe ten feet away she could tell there were multiple types of writing on it.

"I'd actually like to accept your offer." She replied, her tone so casual that they almost didn't believe her, "I'm sorry I didn't come to you three with my decision earlier. With us arriving at Skyhold, all the things that still need to be done, and now Christopher officially becoming Inquisitor it's been hectic." Cullen moved closer to the table, closer to her and looked for any signs that she wasn't serious about their offer. There were none.

"So you really want accept?" Josephine asked slowly clearly thinking the same thing as Cullen. Raven's eyes didn't leave Cullen's.

"I do but first I'd like to apologize to you. What I said last week at the camp was brutal and uncalled for. We were all under so much stress… I lashed out and I don't want there to be any resentment between us. I am sorry Cullen." Cullen stared at her. An apology was the last thing he expected and he knew she meant it. Her voice was contrite and she continued to keep eye contact throughout her apology.

"I'm sorry as well. I crossed a line and there's no excuse for doing so." He apologized and held his hand out for her to take. Raven glanced down at it in confusion before reaching out and accepting what he had to offer. Her hand was so small in his but her grip was strong. She had to, he supposed, considering she was meeting the force of enemy swords with daggers. She'd been trained in other weapons but insisted she liked them the most.

"So what's the first step on the agenda?" Raven asked once she pulled her hand from Cullen's. They were big and way too warm. He was also still looking at her so she averted her eyes and attention to Josephine and Leliana.

"Are there any demands you have of us?" The smile Raven had been wearing dropped in response to Josephine's question and the Ambassador was quick to continue, "You were silent and accepting as we told you what you would be doing should you accept our offer but haven't asked for anything in return." The three were met with thoughtful silence from the girl and it was obvious in the week since they'd spoken with her about the offer that she hadn't thought of any conditions or things she wanted in return. Cullen's hand on the girls shoulder brought her back to them. What they were offering had been enough in Raven's opinion but if they were expecting requests from her that could be written into the paperwork she supposed it would be normal to try and get something while the window was open.

"Why don't you think about it and once we figure out what-" Cullen started to suggest but Raven cut him off.

"Now that I have a room with a door and such can I have my cat back?" Raven suddenly asked while looking over to Josephine. She'd barely seen him since Haven and even before that it was only for a little while during the day and even though he was her cat Raven felt bad when Josephine's smile dropped a little, "He's really grown on you, huh?"

"I - Yes, I am very fond of him. If you would prefer we can get him after the meeting?" The Ambassador offered and Raven closed her eyes for a moment in silent debate; if anyone deserved that tiny orange cat she probably did and with her going out on missions with Christopher it would make more sense to leave him with her instead.

"I'll still get to go out on missions with Christopher right?" She asked and her question wasn't unexpected. Josephine hesitated as she tried to choose the correct words before answering because she knew her answer would be an important factor.

"Unfortunately I am not able to answer that right now. Once things are a little more settled we'll have to see what you know and what you don't." She finally explained and Raven nodded in understanding.

"Then, if you really want to, you keep Zevran for now. I'm sure with everything I'll be doing around here it'll be nicer for him if he's not kept in a dark room all day. Can you bring him to your office when we go over etiquette and the other things I need to learn?" Josephine nodded in response, hardly able to keep up with the young girls thoughts. "Would I be able to go out by myself? Say there was something in Val Royeaux I needed, would I be allowed to go?" She continued and Leliana was slightly amused. From what she understood the young girl had never been to Val Royeaux.

"What could you possibly need from there?" Cullen asked and Raven looked at him then looked down at him. There were so many possibilities though she knew where to get the real items needed for what she had planned. After playing the game so many times and now having the opportunity to create the weapons and armor she'd always wanted almost made her feel giddy.

"From what I understand you're able to get schematics, weapons, armor, crafting materials, and enjoy an afternoon at a café. I didn't join them last time they were there." Raven explained and earned a respectful nod from the man. She didn't seem like the sort to go there for dresses, Cullen thought but was also aware how complicated women were. The small girl beside him was no different; she might wield daggers, a bow, and one handed swords better than most people he knew but he'd also seen the beautiful tattoos on her arms and back as well as the lacy tops she wore.

"I would personally request that you travel with someone." Josephine responded quickly. "It's not that I, or we, don't trust you. We want you to be safe." Again, Raven nodded in understanding.

"But provided I progress in the training you give me I'll be able to go places and do things?" The young girl wanted to clarify. Josephine started to respond but Cullen beat her to it.

"You're not a prisoner." He told her and then smiled when she did. "Also if there _is_ anything specific you need from a merchant Josephine has arranged for a handful of them to come to Skyhold." The Connections perks, Raven thought and nodded. Those always were extremely convenient in the game.

"What's our objective then?" Raven asked, "If it's that important to you that I learn to be a spy then who or what is the main focus? Does it have something to do with what Christopher saw concerning the assassination the Empress?" Leliana stared at the young woman not expecting her to jump right into business. They'd only been at Skyhold a week but it was nice to know that she was going to take it seriously.

 

The next four hours flew by and the halls were empty as Raven left the war room followed by her three fellow advisors that looked as tired as she felt. In the hours she'd spent with them she learned of their plans; they wanted to focus on teaching her Orlesian customs because the two women wanted her to make her way into good graces of the Orlesian nobility. Raven honestly wasn't too excited about spending time with snooty nobles that reminded her of the French back home but according to Josephine she would get to wear dresses. Pretty dresses with corsets and masks which was easy enough to appreciate. She thought back to the odd look Cullen had given her when she'd asked if corsets were involved. Or maybe it was the small squeal of excitement that came from her when Josephine nodded.

The Inquisition also needed more reputation throughout Orlais and Ferelden - something Raven knew how to accomplish but she kept that to herself. It would have to involve The Exalted Plains and depending on how fast Christopher was with Crestwood to find Stroud and then The Western Approach they'd have more power than needed to get an invitation to the Winter Palace. In the mean time Raven would begin her training, most likely not being able to go with Christopher when he left. It was a damn good thing she knew what needed to be done in order to gain influence and agents. Halfway to her room with her head down as she flipped through all the papers Josephine had given her Raven didn't have time to react as Cole appeared in front of her. He was solid for a spirit, Raven thought as she walked into him and bounced back. She would've caught herself but Cole was quick to reach out and grab her arm. She smiled at him while he stared at her.

"You're tired." He said quietly and his words earned a small nod from the girl in front of him. "You miss it, the blanket your grandmother made for you before she died; big and soft, black on one side but so many colors and patterns on the next. You wanted to bring it with you but decided to keep it there. It would make coming home so much better." Coal murmured and his eyes widened as her smile faded and she walked past him. Her room was just down the hall. "I'm sorry, I did it wrong. Why is your hurt so different than everyone else?" He asked as they both entered her room. It was dark but Raven's eyes adjusted quickly and she made quick work of lighting a couple candles, her hands shaking. She didn't even remember thinking of the blanket, not near him anyway. She knew and accepted that he didn't understand about the consequences of announcing peoples thoughts, fears, desires, and memories and it hurt being reminded that she had no way of ever going home.

"It's okay. You're okay." She said quietly as she turned to glance at him while removing the dagger at her hip. It was a smaller dagger than the ones Christopher had made her. Cole had given them back to her the night they reached Skyhold. She didn't look at him for long as she undid the buckles on her coat and set it on one of the chairs surrounding a table covered in her writing and drawings. Next were her boots and socks. Cole watched in silence and awe as she took off each piece to reveal pale skin. She wore a pair of shorts under her pants and a light shirt under the thicker, long sleeved one. The pictures on her skin seemed to glow against her skin in the candle light. The ones on her arms and back weren't the only ones she had, they were on her legs and feet. Cole counted eight in total that he was able to see.

"The dragonfly was the first. The pain tickled on your wrist and made your fingers twitch. You laughed at the numbness. She, your grandmother, loved dragonflies… I'm sorry to hurt you again." He whispered quietly. Raven continued to stare at him from her seat on the bed. He was right, it did hurt but most likely not in the way he expected.

"They were her favorite. Dad let me get it when I was sixteen after she started getting sick. When I showed her she was so mad that she threw an apple at me from her hospital bed, I dodged it and it made a dent in the wall." Raven told him with a chuckle as she held out her arm. Cole moved closer to see her wrist and smiled.

"Your dad laughed and you made it up to her with…" Cole started but stopped in confusion.

"Pizza," Raven continued for him, "It's a popular meal from back home. Baked crust covered in a sauce made from tomatoes and herbs and then covered in any cheeses, meats, vegetables, and sometimes fruits that you want. It was her favorite. Can we not talk about her anymore?" She asked and Cole nodded while making a seat for himself on the floor in front of her. Not that he was trying but from the short distance away he was able to see the other pictures… tattoos… on her skin; the black swirls outlining dark roses and a skull with a banner on her upper right leg, a butterfly on her right ankle, and what looked like a raven amongst trees on her lower left leg that ended at her foot. Raven stared down at him as he stared at her tattoos curious to know what he was thinking.

"They all hurt." Cole said quietly as he finally looked up at her.

"A lot of things in life hurt." Raven replied. "Sometimes there's nothing you can do about it."

"But that's why I'm here. I want to help. Christopher said I could. You don't want me to help you?" His voice became louder and almost desperate. From what she remembered there weren't many occupied rooms near hers and even if there were it didn't matter. Raven just didn't want him upset so with quick movements that surprised even him she was off the bed and wrapped her arms around him in a hug making Cole suddenly stop. From her position she couldn't see his eyes widen and she wasn't entirely pressed against him so she didn't feel his body stiffen and his breathing stop. No one had dared to touch him in so long out of fear that he didn't know what to do. Her braided hair smelled like oranges and her skin was warm. When she was sure he'd calmed down Raven pulled away and moved back to rest on her knees.

"You are so sweet and gentle." She whispered to him with a kind smile, "You don't need to help me. Focus on the others, help them because they need you more." Cole could hear how fast her heart was beating. _They have families and loved ones waiting for them. Use your gift to help them instead. They are more important._ Raven watched him look down and nod before whispering 'good night' and disappearing. He wasn't gone but she could no longer see him as he stood back against the wall and watched. She sat there with a sad smile as she continued to stare where he was moments ago. Cole wasn't sure if she understood what she meant to others here, her friends. She didn't understand how important she was to them and Cole truthfully didn't like it but it would help her. It would make her happy. It wasn't until she finally stood up, blew out the candles, and climbed into her bed that Cole finally left. Hopefully someday she would understand. She had to.


	11. Answers

The next morning at dawn Raven was up, ready for the day, and knocking on the door to Cullen's office to go over troop scheduling and recruit training. With people still coming to Skyhold and pledging themselves to the Inquisition he'd gained about twenty new recruits so far that he decided to put Raven in charge of. It wasn't only his way of showing that he trusted her but also to teach a lesson; he'd heard a couple of the recruits talking amongst themselves the night before about the young girl, unsavory and undignified things that no man should utter about a woman so as the sun rose over Skyhold that morning and she left his office Cullen watched in amusement from the battlements as the twenty men ranging from sixteen to thirty-five stood in a sloppy line wearing practice armor watched Raven make her way down the steps dressed in one of her many pairs of skintight black pants and a light blue lace top. Her obsidian daggers glittered in the light from the harness also strapped to her body. Cullen noticed her hair was braided but that changed once she reached the last step as he watched the way she quickly removed the hair tie, combed the long braid out of her hair which made the copper tresses shine in the morning sunlight, and twisted her hair with graceful movements of her wrists so it was in a messy bun before tying it back again. It wasn't a coincidence which Cullen had learned. Raven had done it to get the men to stop talking and as she walked the line to look and assess the posture and the condition of each recruit one man reached out to touch her rear when he thought she wasn't looking. With a quick movement that none of the recruits had expected the offender was already on his stomach with the hand he reached out bent behind him in an extremely painful angle. She hadn't let the man up until he apologized. They'd all stood shocked as the large man scrambled off the ground and stood back in line.

"Hello everyone, I hope you're having a good morning!" Raven had said cheerfully as if nothing had happened, "I apologize you had to see that but when it comes to me it's safer to look than to touch." She stood in front of the men and waved like an innocent doe eyed girl. Cullen had to wonder what her plan was as he leaned in closer to view the group. He was unaware of Cole standing beside him also looking down at her and all the men with curiosity.

"That's nice Sweetheart." One of them said; he was a man in his late twenties that Raven would soon learn was named Patrick. "You might've pulled one over on him but the training fields are no place for a little girl so why don't you run to the kitchens." A couple of the recruits laughed and Cullen found himself wanting her to teach them the hard way. Raven masked her annoyance and only widened her smile.

"Would you like to play a game with me?" She asked in the same cheery voice as before. The man who taunted her scoffed while some of the other recruits laughed seeming to forget what she had just done to one of their own not even five minutes before.

"Sure Sweetheart, I'll play a game with you." Raven could feel her fingers start to twitch as excitement filled her but she remained composed and continued to smile in response.

"I'm so glad. Why don't you go pick up one of those heavy wooden swords over there and come back." She suggested while pointing to the practice weapons. The man walked over, picked up one of the two handed swords without testing the weight and came back. Raven moved away from the others and urged her new play thing to follow.

"You really think you could take me in a fight?" The man asked and Raven shook her head. Stupid misogynistic piece of shit, she screamed in her mind but continued with the smile.

"It's not a fight, it's a game and the rule is simple: if you hit me with your weapon one time before I put you on your ass then you win. I'll go to the kitchens and make you the best meal you've ever had in your life. However, if I manage to win then you have to spend the rest of the day in the kitchens and make my dinner tonight." Raven knew her rules would cause some laughter. She was correct and Cullen had to force himself to hold himself back and watch. It was obvious what she was doing; the only way to get them to listen was to show her ability.

"Whatever little girl," The man agreed, "Remember that I like my steak well done." Without wasting a second he lunged toward her with a great swing of his sword. Cullen wasn't surprised that he'd missed and judging by her next action it was obvious what she going to do; it was the same move she'd used on Krem the first time they'd sparred together only with the recruit he could tell there would be more force. Cole watched in awe as she spun around while in the process of crouching low to the ground and used the momentum from the spin to deliver a hard kick to the recruit's ankle making him cry out in pain as he fell to the ground. He could hear the echo of an unfamiliar tune playing in her mind, fast and loud. It made her happy. Raven continued to stare down at him passively as she stood up and with one last quick yet forceful movement kicked the sword from his hand.

"I never understood how one could like their steak well done. It takes flavor away from the cut." She commented and left him on the ground as she turned to the rest of the recruits. Cole was glad she taught him a lesson. No one deserved to be treated the way he treated her. "Lesson one of today's training session is to _never_ underestimate a potential enemy."

"Stupid bitch!" The man yelled as he tried to stand, "Just wait till the Commander hears about his!" Raven ignored him and turned to the other recruits. Any smiles they had before were gone.

"Assuming there's no one else who wants to play with me I think it's time for introductions." Raven said loudly as she dropped the cheerfulness from her tone. Cole liked the voice she was using, it was more her. "My name is Raven but you will address me as Mistress O'Hara until I tell otherwise and I have been personally chosen by Commander Cullen to train you. Why did the Commander choose me, you ask? The answer is very simple: With sixteen years of multiple types of combat and weapon training I am one of the best soldiers here." By the end of her introduction the man who was foolish enough to fall into her game was standing and in the process of limping to his spot in line. Raven noticed he'd left the practice sword on the ground and her jaw clenched. "Recruit what are you doing back in line? You're not training with us today." The man glared at her.

"Fuck you bitch. I'm part of the Inquisition now. Best fighter or not you're still nothing more than a piece of - " He never got to finish that sentence before Raven suddenly appeared before him with one of her obsidian daggers drawn and pressed to his neck which caused him to cry out in surprise. Her darkening green eyes held his. Raven tried to steady her breathing but could already feel her anger rising.

"You might have pledged yourself to Christopher and the Inquisition but you aren't a solder till Commander Cullen and I say so and I don't see a soldier in front of me. Instead I see a sorry, pathetic little fucking excuse of a man who clearly doesn't know how to shut up and has no respect for himself or others." As Raven's words left her mouth even she was scared by how they sounded. It didn't sound like her. Instead it was cold and emotionless but it seemed to get the point across because the man was terrified and he had a right to be. She'd never killed anyone before she'd been thrown into this world but now she realized how killing was necessity in certain situations. With a sigh Raven pulled away and sheathed her dagger back into the harness. When she spoke again her voice was loud as she addressed the entire group. "I will not tolerate the type of behavior your fellow recruit has just displayed. Not only because it's disgraceful to the Inquisition but because it's disgraceful to yourselves. I believe you are all better than that. Anyone who shows disrespect like he did or insists on playing my game and loses will also lose a day of training. Instead the offender will help out somewhere else and if it's not done properly you will lose another day. Recruit, what is your name?" She asked the man casually as if she hadn't just had her dagger to his throat.

"My name is Patrick, ma'am." The man informed her with a much more calm and respectful manner than before. Raven smiled at him.

"And the man who thought it would be funny to grab my ass?" She asked and one of the bigger, older men came forward. He was scared, Cole concluded from his place on the battlements.

"My name is Behven." He told her. Raven nodded and brought her hands to her hips.

"Well Behven," She addressed, "because you felt it was acceptable to sexually harass a young girl you won't be training today, Instead will be helping down at the stables. You are to report to Warden Blackwall and tell him _exactly_ who sent you and why you are there. You can come back tomorrow." Behven opened his mouth with the intention of arguing but quickly shut it. At least he was capable of learning, Raven thought and watched as he bid her farewell and turned to walk toward the stables. When he was out of sight she turned to Patrick who was quick to apologize.

"I'm sorry for wh-"

"What's important is that you know what you did was wrong. Not only did you disrespect me as your trainer but as you disrespected me as woman as well which I will not stand for. Do you have a sister, or maybe a wife or daughter?" The man looked taken a back but slowly nodded.

"My sister Elana." He replied and Raven had to shake her head in disappointment.

"You don't need to answer my next question but how would you feel if some man much older and bigger treated her the same way you treated me? There's also the fact that you lost to our game so if you could please put that practice sword away and report to a woman named Gretchen the kitchens I'd be most obliged. I'll also stop by later with my dinner order and if you're still interested in becoming a soldier you can report back here tomorrow morning."

Meanwhile Cole was now sitting on one of the pillars, his legs dangling off the side as he observed the exchange and the calm yet powerful demeanor Raven had presented. The men wouldn't have listened to her if she hadn't done what she did. This new personality she was showing was strange but it was nice listening to her. She cared for others so much. Cole willed himself visible as he turned to look at Cullen.

"She thinks of music when she fights." Cole told the Commander, catching him off guard and causing him to jump back in surprise as the spirit made his presence known. That's what Cole was according to Solas and Christopher. Did Raven know, he wondered. Part of him doubted she would care; she seemed to get along with nearly everyone. He said something about music? Cole shrugged and looked back at the girl.

"Who thinks of music? Are you talking about Raven?" Cullen asked and the spirit nodded. "How do you know?"

"Loud music plays throughout a large room, fast and unfamiliar to us but familiar to her. I heard it in her mind just now. So many melodies and voices and she keeps step with all of them because she knows it takes more energy to swing and miss than to swing and hit." Cole spoke quietly as past pictures and thoughts from Raven's mind played over and over in his. Cullen stared at the spirit feeling even more unsettled as Cole continued to look at him. "Soft pale skin in the moonlight; heated and blushing under kisses, soft bites, and caresses; hearing her cry out your name. Fingers caught in long red hair… You think of her a lot but you're not the only one. You don't want to think those things but it's hard no to even when she wore my hat. I can see them but they can't see me, she was happy you couldn't see her expression that night. She didn't want anyone to see how excited the idea joining you all made her." Sometime during his revelation he looked away to watch Raven only to bring his attention back to the embarrassed and red faced Commander. Cullen was mortified, he'd told no one of his brisk infatuation towards the young girl but Cole knew. Without a word Cullen turned and made his way back to his office where he hoped there would be enough reports and paperwork to distract him. Cole shrugged and disappeared, the mice were hungry.

It was just before noon when Raven dismissed the recruits from training. Despite the minor mishap with the two recruits earlier in the morning it had been a good first lesson which consisted of foot position and using a persons own body weight and movements against them. The recruits had objected at first but once she explained how necessary it was and she'd even picked one of the recruits to help her demonstrate they were all interested in learning. Overall they were a good bunch, Raven concluded as she made her way to the stables to check on Behven. When she arrived she saw Dennett maneuvering a big brick of hay for the horses and Behven cleaning out a stall. Blackwall was the first to notice her presence from inside the doorway. During their time at Haven they'd spoken casually while she helped Harritt and she'd more than earned his respect.

"He's on dung duty all day for how he treated you. If he were my recruit he'd have gotten worse than a simple drop before I sent him away for good." The older man growled out loud enough for Behven to hear which only seemed to make him work even harder. Raven chuckled.

"He was already beaten by a ninety-five pound girl without a weapon so I doubt it could get much worse. Thanks for keeping him for the day and please let me know how he does." Their conversation was short and ended in a hug from the large lumberjack looking man. Upon leaving Raven was quick in her small journey to the kitchens and she smiled when she saw Patrick at a counter, still in his practice armor, kneading dough. Quietly she grabbed one of the pieces of paper and a quill that had been left out for notes and scribbled her dinner order and instructions onto it. Once she gave it to Gretchen with the order that Patrick had to be the one to cook it she made her way into the large castle.

 

Solas liked to think that he was a patient man. He'd spent years alone, a consequence for starting the rebellion in hopes of ridding slavery among his people and sealing The Creators away, years of traveling the world and studying the fade while making friends with spirits such as those of Wisdom, Purpose, and Compassion like Cole. He'd spent weeks at a time exploring and sleeping in old towers, abandoned cities and ruins, and once blood soaked battlefields for even slight traces of old memories and dreams from the fallen. Yes, Solas was a patient man but that small seemingly all knowing ginger girl was starting to gnaw at his last thread. It had been over a week since she'd revealed to him that she knew of who he really was and that she also knew of events that had yet to come. 

"She wants to talk to you but there's never any time. She hasn't been sleeping well lately. Why didn't I bring the blanket? Maybe I can make one." The sound of Cole's voice echoed on the stone wall making the older elf jump and turn in shock. "She likes talking to you. You make her feel safe, calm." He continued.

"Cole, do you know where she is?" Solas asked kindly and was met with a silent nod from the spirit in response as he remained by the scaffolding. "May I ask how you two are so close?" Cole listened to the sounds coming from above him; the conversations between people echoing off stone, a quill scratching against paper, the crinkle of pages turning again and again. Very high above he could hear the sound of ravens and not ten feet away he could hear the muffled thoughts and muted song of Solas. Were they close, Cole wondered.

"What do you mean by 'close'?" The spirit asked and Solas suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"You seem to spend a lot of time with her. I was wondering if you've met before." He explained while closely watching Cole's reaction. The spirit leaned back further against the wooden scaffold and looked up to the large ceiling so far away while thinking back to the first time he saw her struggling under that red templar. Her friends had been worried that she hadn't shown up and her pain had reached out to him not long after.

"Her thoughts are different; her song is brighter. She knows me like how she knows you and isn't scared. She knows what I am and still smiles and laughs, still wraps her arms around me hoping to help, to protect. The men from this morning will learn that soon. I hope they do anyway." Cole explained as he looked down and started picking at his gloves. The events of this morning were still in his mind. He could tell that Solas was looking at him strangely.

"What happened this morning?" He asked.

"They've never had a girl in charge before and wanted her to stop. Hurtful thoughts and words hoping to make her feel like nothing but she didn't show it, embarrassment hidden by fury and determination. They must not know how it affects me." Cole muttered quietly so lost in thought that he didn't feel her presence as she entered through the door leading from the main hall. Her voice caught him off guard.

"What he's saying is that I got the privilege of training our new recruits this morning and they weren't too happy about it." Raven clarified as she leaned her body against the stone wall as she watched the two men. "One's assisting Blackwall in the stables and the other will be in the kitchens for the rest of the day. He'll also be making us a private dinner tonight, Solas. I figured it was time I answered some of your questions." She smiled at the surprised look on his face before he composed himself again.

"Very well, as you wish." He agreed, "What time shall I expect you?"

"If you have no objections I thought we could have dinner in my room, say around seven. That way we're far from straining ears." Again Solas was baffled by her offer and nodded. With a quick nod she turned and left as quickly as she came while both men stared at the place she briefly stood. With a small smile Cole disappeared.

"Did you know she was coming?" Solas asked as he looked over to where Cole had been only to see it empty. Part of him wasn't surprised for he seemed to do that often. With a quick massage to the temples the elf made his way over to the small desk that held his supplies and started to skillfully mix some red paint. There was still much to do before seven.

 

By the time Raven left Josephine's new office she was tired and proud to say that she completed everything that needed to be done that day. The morning recruit training and dinner invitation for Solas had just been the beginning. After that was a slight whirlwind of meetings with Leliana and the seven agents she'd be training, confirming her new position with Christopher, and there were two parts to her meeting with Josephine who was seated comfortably in one of her chairs with Zevran on her lap but the cats position didn't last long once Raven entered the room. He'd jumped off the Ambassador's lap and ran to her. Much to Josephine's disappointment Zevran stayed with her for the rest their appointment. Raven's first lesson had been to go over what she already knew as far as etiquette and foreign customs such as posture, polite conversation, greetings and titles of foreign diplomats and leaders, and table manners. There had been some slight differences from the customs back home but Raven caught on quickly and she could tell Josephine was impressed. For the second part of their appointment Josephine had wanted to fine tune Raven's privileges as an advisor, discuss a date they could go to Val Royeaux together to supply the young girl with some things that would be needed, and lastly was to go over Raven's pay which nearly caused her to drop Zevran. No number had been discussed the night before, not that Raven cared, but thirteen hundred gold a month had been much more than she expected and Josephine refused to go any lower. It was nearly six thirty when she left.

Dinner that night was seasoned chicken breast, rice, and fire roasted vegetables. A white wine and container of water were also supplied since she wasn't sure what Solas liked and it was delivered shortly before he knocked on her door. He looked down at her as she opened the door and greeted him with a smile, noticing that she no longer wore the clothes from this morning but a pair of black pants and a red shirt, though he had changed his clothes as well and was now wearing a green tunic and black pants. Her usual tattoos showed because her hair was pulled back and he had to wonder if there were any significance to them. Her room was bigger and brighter than expected with smooth wooden floors and a large bed in the corner. Underneath were her two bags but they seemed more flattened as if the contents had been emptied. A dresser was placed in the opposite corner of the bed and Solas took a quiet note of all the unlit candles. On the table near the door were two covered plates, two glasses, water, and wine. Raven smiled at him as he looked around and how his shoulders seemed to relax.

"It's big. Simple." He stated the observation as he looked at her.

"Josephine said the same. Thankfully once the dresses are made they'll be going into _her_ closet." She replied with a laugh.

"Dresses?" Solas asked and moved to take a seat in one of the chairs at the table as Raven sat on her bed across the room.

"Last night I became an advisor for the Inquisition." Raven explained and truthfully Solas wasn't surprised. The young girl had proved her usefulness time and time again since her arrival. "They also want me to be a spy." That news caused the elf's eyes to widen.

"Like Leliana's agents?" Solas asked and she shook her head.

"If only it were that easy. No, they want me to gain the favor and good graces of foreign leaders and nobility to help earn influence and power for the Inquisition. With that comes a pretty dress and a mask or two, you know how Orlesian's are." Raven explained and Solas didn't reply. In his opinion she had the eloquence and posture of a noble already. There was no point in denying how beautiful she was or how charming she could be and he could see it working out really well or becoming an absolute failure.

"They chose wisely then. Is it just the dresses you're doing it for?" She looked at him curiously and brought her legs up to her chest.

"I'm not doing it for the dresses at all, that's just a perk. Instead they're going to teach me military and battle strategy, the ins and outs of spy networking, and politics and foreign customs. I'll also be furthering my training as a rogue. Anyway, you had questions. Would you like to go over them now and then eat or make them a lovely dinner conversation?" She asked and Solas chuckled. No one could ever say that she didn't get straight to the point.

"So you had a recruit cook this?" He asked and Raven nodded while standing up from her place on the bed and making her way towards the table.

"That I did. A friend of mine in the kitchens watched him and confirmed he didn't do anything bad to it. According to her he was also very apologetic so this should be interesting. I know you just want answers but thank you for having dinner with me." The smell of garlic and rosemary filled his nose as she uncovered the plates and two clouds of steam rose up. "You didn't seem like the type to like really heavy food. I hope this is acceptable." Solas had to admire her thoughtfulness.

"You're very kind." He complimented and she shrugged and sat down in the seat across from him. Solas watched her pick up her cutlery, cut a piece of chicken, and take a bite before starting on his own. He could tell she was testing the flavors before she swallowed and smiled at him as he picked up his own knife and fork. She stopped after a couple bites and poured them both a glass of water.

"Where are you from?" He asked once she put her glass down.

"City, state, country?" She confirmed and continued when Solas nodded. "Chicago is the name of the city, Illinois is the state, and the country is the United States of America." Solas looked for any hesitation or change in her voice as she spoke but there were none. No indication of lying.

"What was your life like there?" He probed and caught how she smiled. It was a sad smile and he nodded when she excused herself and walked over to grab something from her dresser. She came back with two items unlike Solas had ever seen, brought her chair over next to his and sat down. Raven focused on the task at hand as she turned on her cell phone going over in her mind how she should explain this device to him since she knew he would ask. Once it was on and to the lock screen, she swiped and with a quick motion entered the gallery and chose the gallery titled 'family' and held the phone's screen more toward his direction so Solas could see the first picture; one of her and her dad in their training room. Solas stared at the screen holding a small portrait of Raven and an older, much bigger man who had to have been at least ninety percent muscle. He and Raven had the same smile but that seemed to be where any physical resemblance ended. His hair was dark where hers was red, his eyes were brown, and his skin was tanned. Raven watched him study the picture.

"This device is called a cell phone. In my world instead of writing letters, having portraits painted, and spending hours looking through books for research this phone can do all of that." She explained and Solas's head shot to hers so fast she was worried he'd hurt himself.

"That can't possibly be true." He argued while waiting for Raven to reveal the punch line of a joke. She didn't smile, all she did was nod.

"My world is technology based. We have machines that do almost anything we want, all you have to do is press a few buttons but besides all that, this is a picture of me and my daddy. He spent years in the military and special forces and is one of the many whose helped teach me what I know. We're in one of our training rooms." She explained and Solas brought his eyes back to the device she held out for him to see just in time to see her move a finger across the surface and the picture changed to one of Raven by herself. Her hair was down and from the position of it she was most likely turning, her face was flushed and she wasn't looking at the screen. She had a dagger in each hand and he took notice of her all black attire.

"Were you training?" He asked and she nodded.

"We had a couple training rooms but the one we used most is the one you see. Smooth wooden floors which we trained with gripped and non gripped shoes and barefoot. There was an entire wall of mirrors so we could watch ourselves and see if we there were any changes we needed to make. You don't see it but there's one wall that has nothing but racks upon racks of practice weapons; great swords, one handed swords like what Cassandra uses and katanas. There were also so many types of daggers." She explained and he could tell she was growing excited as she told him all this.

"Music playing throughout the room…" He said quietly and she stared at him curiously. "Cole saw it." She nodded at his explanation. It did make sense.

"When I first started it was hard for me to get the rhythm down. Dad didn’t expect the music idea to work as well as it did but it was easier to keep step in time to the beat. It also helped train me in agility and dexterity over the years. That is why I'm almost never hit." She sounded proud and he knew she deserved to be.

"Where is your mother?" Solas asked.

"She died when I was born. Complications during pregnancy and she bled out so I never got to meet her. I'm told she was an amazing person. Dad had a lot of pictures of them throughout our home and according to everyone she knew, I look exactly like her which I guess is a compliment. I don't know." She told him in the most calm and even voice he'd ever heard when discussing the death of a parent. He had to remind himself that she technically never knew her mother and seemed to accept that death was a part of life. She switched the picture again and for the next hour he asked question after question and she answered them all to the best of her ability. She showed and explained to him more uses for her cell phone and their attention turned to her Kindle. Solas listened intently as she showed him a list of the stories and books she had. She told him of the Dalish tale she knew about him, explained how and why she didn't believe it, and even offered to let him come back and read the stories if he so wished. By the time he left it was dark, he was still full from dinner, and his mind was reeling with all she'd told him. She was a fascinating girl. He still had questions but was satisfied for the moment and glad it was a night well spent. When he reached his office Cole was sitting up on the scaffolding and swinging his feet. He wasn't sure if the spirit realized that he was humming but shrugged it off and smiled.

"Good evening Cole. Is there anything I can help you with?" He asked and Cole stopped humming and looked at the mage able to hear the muted thoughts in his mind much more clearly.

"Pictures changing in an instant reminding her of better times, no longer in the dark. I know how she knows, am I safe? Was she telling the truth. Stomach turning, forced smiles, feeling exposed as she tells me my secret. She won't tell anyone Solas. She likes and respects you too much and it's not hers to tell. She was glad you accepted and came." Cole told him with a small shrug as he continued to swing his feet.

"Well thank you for putting my mind at ease. You're welcome to go to her now since we're done." Cold shook his head at the elf's words. _Soft voices rising high and low, the sound of a piano in the background, need to be alone, need to sleep. Only three days till Val Royeaux. I miss them. Miss him. Father. Daddy._ The soft pain and home sickness she felt made him _want_ to go to her but he remembered what she'd told him last night; to focus on the others. _They need it more,_ she had told him quietly as she embraced him. He didn't often meet people who were sad but truly cared about other's comfort before their own. Throughout the day it kept him busy after he left the Commander, he did things wrong a lot but was always able to make them forget and start over. Solas looked at him curiously.

"She told me to spend my time helping the hurts of other people, not her." Cole told him almost simply and Solas had to wonder if it was the spirit's time around Raven that caused him to reply in that manner or the other way around.

"She's very interesting but who are we to disrespect a woman's wishes." Solas confirmed while sitting in his chair. It was comfortable and he liked how high the back rose. Cole felt himself nod in response.

 

Varric sat back against his chair in the main hall and listened to the conversation between the kid and Chuckles about Ginger. He'd assumed it was about Ginger anyway. He had been in the same exact spot earlier in the day when she invited the mage to dinner which Varric assumed is where he'd been for the last couple hours. He missed their time spent at the tavern going over each others writing and telling stories but she'd been so busy and would get even busier now that she'd accepted the offer Ruffles had given her. It reminded him a bit of Hawke back in Kirkwall, starting off as nearly nothing in Lowtown and making something of herself. Both women deserved it for how hard they worked and how kind both seemed to be. He'd have to introduce them before Hawke left again. Varric suddenly leaned forward against the table, grabbed the quill he was using from the ink jar and scribbled a note to himself reminding to hunt her down tomorrow and invite her to a game of Wicked Grace realizing suddenly that it was across the top of a page from the new book he was writing. It figured. His publisher would just have to deal with it.


	12. First Day in Val Royeaux

By the end of her first week as an advisor, trainer, and student Raven was absolutely exhausted. She continued with the routine of waking early every morning and knocking on Cullen's door just before dawn. They'd spend that next hour of time she had together talking, laughing, him teaching her about military strategy, and going over what her lesson for the day would be. She and Cullen were both happy that the recruits behaved after her making an example out of Patrick and Behven on the first day and they caught on quickly; so quickly that she cut the lesson time down to four hours instead of five so they were always done before noon. Cullen hadn't been exactly happy about it but understood and had a feeing that it more had to do with her being able to manage her schedule better than their ability. Training Leliana's agents, a small group of seven, only occurred every other day and the three hours training them was much easier. They were spies and rogues like she, not warriors so it was less physically exhausting so Raven wasn't as sore by the end of it and there always seemed to be a cup of hot tea waiting on her table when she'd gotten back to her room. Raven knew it was Cole but seeing him had grown into a privilege as it seemed he was abiding her request to help others.

Her lessons with Josephine were progressing easily; not only was Raven going over her Thedas reference guides again but she also took notes each class and would study them in the main hall, seated across the table from Varric as he worked on his next book. Dorian would sometimes even come down from his tiny library alcove and join them when he'd learned the content which she was studying and although he spent a good portion of time talking with Varric about his books while Raven had her head buried in hers he turned out to be very knowledgeable and was happy to talk and teach her about Orlesian, Nevarran, and Tevinter customs. He claimed it was to help a pretty girl in need but she knew all he wanted was to show off, not that she objected. She loved Dorian.

The second week came easier since she'd gotten used to the pattern and it wasn't until the week was half over and she was awoken by a knock on her door at what had to have been extremely early in the morning that Raven remembered the scheduled trip to Val Royeaux. Involuntarily abandoning her grace Raven tried to get up but only succeeded rolling out of bed and hitting the wooden floor with a loud thud. It was about ten seconds before she slowly managed to get to her feet. By the time she steadied herself she heard the door open and on instinct Raven braced herself before looking up only to see Cole holding the inside doorknob and Josephine in the doorway already dressed, looking beautiful as usual and completely surprised. Raven didn't blame her, she could only begin to imagine how she looked; she'd forgotten to braid her hair the night before and could already feel how poofy it was.

"Cole? What are you doing in Raven's room?" Josephine nearly shrieked causing the barely dressed redhead to flinch in her current state. Cole stood back and held out his hands in defense.

"So early and awake but not awake. The floor hurt, her hip will bruise. You were growing concerned, worried when you heard her cry out and the thud as she fell out of bed." He rambled as he heard the soft, slow melody of Raven's thoughts and the loud, confused disbelief from Josephine. It was then that Cole looked back at Raven to see her now uncovered by blankets and sitting on the edge of her big bed, legs bracing her arms which held her head. Her long red hair spilled in her face, covering her shoulders and arms, falling down her back to rest on the bed. Cole had never seen her like that before and he flinched when he felt Josephine slap his arm. It wasn't hard, it didn't hurt, but it did cause him to look away. _Not appropriate, almost naked. Why is he here?_ Cole heard the older woman's thoughts and his eyes shot to her only to want to shrink back from her glare.

"While I appreciate you trying to help her it is inappropriate for you to be in her room at this hour. She's barely dressed." Josephine scolded and Cole looked back at his very tired friend. Tired but awake. _I don't want to be awake._ He heard her mumble and then noticed that she was in nothing more than a black pair of very small, very short shorts and an equally small sleeveless black shirt with strange designs on it. Cole didn't understand, he'd seen many wearing less, even some wearing nothing and it was never taken as negatively. The Iron Bull always had women and some men dressed less than his friend and he'd never heard her yell at him. How was it inappropriate, he wondered and dropped his gaze from Raven's form but kept his head in her direction. He remembered the thoughts of the naked and barely dressed people he'd seen before. _Hot, needing, wanting, need to be inside, needing him to take me_ … Cole didn't have those thoughts. Was it because he _didn't_ have those thoughts that somehow made it wrong?

"Josie it's alright. I wasn't feeling well after dinner last night and had a small fever. Cole wanted to help and I asked him to stay in case it got worse. It's my fault." Raven spoke while standing and slowly walking over to grab the discarded soft black pants she'd taken off the night before. Why would she lie for him, Cole wondered and it caused Josephine glanced at Cole, to see him not even facing the girl as she dressed. Once her pants were on Raven made quick work of her stretches and the elder woman flinched as she heard the tracking of joints.

"I still say it's inappropriate but thank you for helping her Cole. She's very important to a lot of people. Raven I hope you are feeling better, we'll be leaving for Val Royeaux soon." Josephine reminded and Raven nodded in response as she tried to will her body awake.

"Since we're staying a few days let me pack a quick bag and I'll be right out." She promised and Josephine nodded. With one last wary glance she turned to leave and shut the door behind her. Once Cole was sure she was gone he was quick to rush to Raven's side as she continued to stand in the same place contemplating what she should bring. He was almost surprised when she didn't object to him leading her to the table where a cup of strong tea and four sugars waited. _Still so tired, she didn't tell me how early we'd be leaving. At least it isn't by horse or hart._ Cole had to smile but that went away when she looked up at him through her red hair. She wanted him to help others and not her; was she mad that he'd disobeyed her wish? Part of him wanted to make her forget but that would just mean he ignored what she wanted twice instead of once.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly, "You told me to help other people and I did, I still am, but you needed help to. Tired, still so tired. Sit and drink your tea. Let me take care of your clothes." He nearly pleaded and Raven couldn't find the mental strength to argue so she nodded and picked up her hot cup of tea to take a sip. Cole worked quickly in retrieving one of the large bags from under her bed and grabbed all the things he could hear in her thoughts; kindle in the top drawer of her dresser, undergarments, pants, two shirts, two pairs of socks, sweatshirt, the large pink striped shirt from the bottom drawer of her dresser, her coin purse, and then her daggers. Through his rummaging to find everything he pulled out a skirt and placed it under the other clothes. He'd also grabbed the brush off her dresser and gave it to her. It'd been on her mind and Cole had to flinch as he silently watched her roughly run the brush through her long hair, showing no signs of pain as it went through what little snags and knots there were. He enjoyed the way she took one of the bands wrapped around the brush and wrapped it around her hair letting it remain long instead of bunched against her head. She didn't really care how it looked as long as it was out of her face. Once her hair was taken care of she wasted no time finishing the rest of her tea. She was much more awake thanks to it and felt much better than before. As a thank you toward the sweet spirit she stood up and once realizing that he was so close she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. The warmth of her body and mind always caught Cole by surprise the few times she hugged him. She didn't allow the type of warmth flowing through her to be shown to many others; Varric, Dorian, The Iron Bull, and him. Cool composure was reserved for the rest and Cole found himself wondering if he should return the hug like he'd seen Varric happily do, put a hand on her back and smile down at her like The Iron Bull, or briskly kiss both her cheeks like Dorian. She pulled away before he could come to a decision.

"I needed help and you were there. Don't apologize for that. Thank you. You'll be here when I get back?" She asked and he nodded. Raven stared at him a moment longer, searching for his beautiful blue eyes hidden under his hair that seemed pressed in place from his hat. He watched her bring a hand up and trace the hats brim like she when he let her wear it. "We'll be gone for a few days. Take care of Zevran for me please." He nodded again and she smiled. When she moved to grab the bag Cole had packed for her the spirit was faster in the retrieval and motioned for her to go ahead of him which she begrudgingly did. It was still dark as they left her room. Cole closed the door behind them and followed close to her, listening as they made their way to the court yard. _It's still so dark, is this really necessary? I already miss my bed. Bed and Cole. I wonder if I'll have time to grab something from the kitchens._ Cole quietly continued to follow and once they were where they needed to be and Raven was seated quietly on the stone steps with her bag Cole disappeared and then reappeared in the kitchens. The cooks weren't even awake yet and Cole had to wonder what she would like since she just mentioned she was hungry. She liked cheese and fruit; Cole was quick in his movements as he wrapped a pack of different types of cheeses, cubed not sliced, and grapes, a pear, apples, and two oranges for her and prepared a large canteen of water. By the time he appeared in the courtyard again she was standing with Josephine and Dorian. They had been in mid conversation but Raven felt Cole approaching and turned to smile at him like she'd forgotten the presence of others. His eyes held hers from under his hair and hat and she noticed he was holding a large pack and canteen which he awkwardly held out to her.

"You're hungry. Fruits and cheeses, I hope I got them right." He told her quietly and noticed how Josephine and Dorian were looking at him curiously. No, not just him, they were looking at Raven too. _Awkward but precious, when had they gotten so close?_ She gingerly took the items presented and put them into her bag before stepping closer and brining a hand to his cheek. Before he could stop it Cole flinched, suddenly thinking back to the spire and he watched horrified as her eyes widened and she brought her hand back and held it against her chest before he could feel her comforting hand. Why had that awful place come to him when she'd been nothing but kind to him? He did it wrong, she was suddenly hurting and it wasn't the kind of hurt that could be brushed aside if he'd given her his hat like before. _Cutting, slicing hot and deep, heart suddenly aching. Feeling cold, numb, heart cracking into small pieces._ Already he could hear the confusion and hurt coming from her though she kept her face composed. _We were fine ten minutes ago, what did I do wrong? You don't flinch away unless you're afraid; is he scared of me? Why does this hurt?_ She was eager to turn away from him as Josephine touched her bare shoulder.

"The carriage is ready." She said quietly and Cole had to force himself from hearing any more thoughts. Raven's were already so loud.

"Thanks Josie." Raven replied in the same quiet tone and looked back at Cole, "I- Have a… I'm sor… Thank you. Be safe." She trailed off and stuttered to find the right words, her mind still racing and it was unlike her; she was always sure in her words. She didn't reach out to hug him goodbye like she would've normally done out of the fear of seeing him shrink back. Was it something she did that caused him to recoil? Raven didn't want to think about it so with one last forced smile she turned away from him and walked with Josephine and Dorian to the carriage just realizing that he, too, looked so suave and perfect for it being so early. It was really unfair.

"Cheer up Little Bird." Dorian encouraged to her once they were seated in the beautiful and spacious carriage. He noticed from the small window that Cole was no longer in the courtyard but instead was seated on the battlements with his head down, that hideous hate hiding any possibility of seeing an expression. Raven shrugged and stretched, bringing out her now bare feet to rest on the seat across from her, opposite of Josephine. When had she done that, Dorian wondered. He hadn't seen her remove her shoes and part of him was still too tired to care. It was going to be a long ride.

 

Cole was still seated on the battlements hours later when Cullen had finally come from his office already in full armor and ready to start the day. He would be overseeing the recruits in Raven's absence. At first he didn't see the spirit, his head was down as he read one of Leliana's reports but when he finally noticed Cole unmoving and staring off into the mountains part of him wasn't surprised. The spirit spent a lot of time on the battlements though it was usually when Raven was teaching the recruits but she was gone and he was facing the opposite way of the courtyard. He didn't acknowledge Cullen's presence as the Commander stopped and turned, other thoughts were still so loud and he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to make it better. Hesitantly Cullen moved closer.

"Cole, are you alright?" He asked even though he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer. He'd heard how the spirit spoke and it was still early.

"Hurts tearing into soft, pale skin like a knife, deep and smooth. Hot, cold, and finally numb. Feeling nauseous from the sudden pain, I can't show them how it hurts. Sealing unshed tears behind closed eyes, focusing on the rhythm of horses hooves against rock. What did I do? Why is he afraid? You don't flinch away unless you're afraid. I'm sorry. I don't know." Despite Cole's still unmoving position his voice was near frantic and it caught Cullen off guard. What was he talking about? He doubted Varric would be awake so early, maybe Solas? Cullen turned away from the spirit, ready to fetch the elf mage when Cole's voice stopped him. "Solas won't know what to do. He heals, not hurts. She was so angry and sad before. Now she smiles, laughs, enjoys her time with you. How did you make the pain go away?" The spirit asked and Cullen turned back to the small creature that was now looking at him.

"Are you speaking of Raven?" He asked and Cole nodded so swiftly that it made his hat bounce. Cullen stood confused until it dawned on him that he was speaking of their time at the refugee camp and the harsh words they'd spoken to one another; what had Cole done? Apart from what he'd seen during the fight at Haven the spirit seemed almost harmless and what had _he_ done to make things better?

"She was so angry and hurt. Worthless, doesn't matter, venom intertwined, laced with a deep voice that she'd always liked despite he, himself, being annoying at times. My hat made her feel better but how did you heal the rest?" The spirit questioned and Cullen found himself moving closer until he was leaning against the battlements next to Cole. How had he? Cullen honestly couldn't recall doing anything.

"Sometimes… Sometimes things happen or are said out of anger or fear that hurt. Sometimes people mean their words one way but it comes out another. That night I never thought of Raven as if she didn't matter. I was in pain, angry, and scared and that's how the words came out. She has a hard time accepting praise and that was something I didn't know. We apologized and agreed to move forward because of her new position." Cullen explained and Cole turned his head to look at the Commander curiously.

"That's it?" Cole asked and Cullen slowly nodded.

"When it comes to friends, loved ones, and people you care about sometimes an apology is all that's needed. If you did something that you feel hurt her then once she gets back you can apologize." Cullen replied and watched the spirit look away, his fingers started to pick at his gloves again.

"What if it doesn't work?" He asked quietly, "What if she still hurts?"

"It's obvious she cares about you. I wouldn't be too worried." Cole remained silent, still picking at his gloves. She cared about him but were they friends? He thought of Rhys and Evangeline. They had cared about him to, they were his friends at one point but left once they'd found out what he was. Raven already knew but what if she left for another reason. Cole didn't want her to leave.

"Thank you Cullen."

 

Raven woke up from a restless sleep when the carriage hit a bump. Half dazed and on edge she looked around only to relax when she saw Dorian seated next to her, his legs crossed, as he conversed with Josephine. It was bright; the sun had risen and reflected off the water of a nearby lake, the stark contrast hurt her eyes. They weren't in the mountains anymore. Both companions stopped talking and looked over at the young girl who was just waking up. Her long hair was messy again and her cheeks were pale, not to mention she was dressed in just a sleeveless black shirt and black pants. Did she have anything nicer to wear, Dorian wondered.

"Good morning Little Bird." He greeted cheerfully while using the nickname he'd given her when they'd gotten to Skyhold. He smirked as he watched her cover her mouth to yawn, rub her eyes, and sit up straighter. She looked at him and then Josephine.

"How long have I been asleep and where are we?" She asked and Dorian wasn't surprised. She didn't seem like the type to waste time with small talk, something he appreciated.

"You fell asleep shortly after we left Skyhold. It's been about four hours now and there are probably another three hours before we reach Val Royeaux." Josephine answered, "Before we enter the city would you happen to have a nicer shirt?" She asked and Dorian was grateful she said something before he had to. Raven looked to them both unsure if she should be offended. She also had no idea; Cole had been the one to pack her bag so she could only imagine what he'd included.

"I don't know. Let me check." She said simply and brought her bare feet down to the floor. Unlike their bags that were currently stored safely in a back compartment she had kept hers within the carriage since it included the food Cole had given to her. Her stomach dropped and she began to feel nauseous all over again, the way he'd flinched away from her. She tried not to think about it but it wouldn't leave her thoughts. As she was looking through her bag she missed Dorian raise an eyebrow.

"Check?" He asked, "How would you not know?" Raven didn't look up at him as she continued to rummage through her large and colorful bag. He watched her take out the package and canteen Cole had given her and all but throw them on the seat next to Josephine then continue to look which proved his suspicions from earlier had been correct, that small scene in the courtyard _had_ bothered her. Finally she pulled out a white lacy shirt and a rather fetching dark blue jacket. Josephine let out a surprised gasp as Raven put the two new articles of clothing on her lap and stripped herself of the black shirt like no one was there. She paid no mind to Josephine's discomfort as she discarded the old shirt into her bag and picked up the white top. As she moved Dorian noticed the tattoos on her skin. He knew she had more than a fair share but her back he'd never seen in its entirety and didn't even know she had more under the shirt. The one that caught his eye, that caused him to reach out and stop her from putting on the soft top was a design unlike any he'd ever seen; shapes within shapes embedded among black swirls running along her side from her right breast to dipping below where her pants covered. The outlines were black but the coloring was random, sporadic, and bright. It reminded him of painting as a child and the effect of mixing the colors with water.

"Just how many do you have Little Bird?" He asked as he brought his fingers away from her warm skin. She looked down at the tattoo and to Dorian it looked like she was thinking.

"Eleven." She finally said and proceeded to put her shirt on as Dorian and Josephine both gawked at her. "The other two I have to be naked for and neither of you have bought me dinner yet." He let out a laugh and had to admire her even more. When he looked at her again she was redoing her hair, keeping it in a bun while some of the longer pieces fell down and framed her face. When her jacket was on he continued to observe her as she slowly took the package of food she'd gotten from Cole, opened it, and hesitantly picked up a small cube of yellow cheese.

"I understand tattoos can be extremely painful." Josephine said, still in awe that she had eleven of them. Raven popped the piece of cheese in her mouth and enjoyed the salty creamy taste of cheddar while responding with a shrug. "Is it different where you're from?"

"No, they're still painful but the level of pain depends on a person's pain tolerance and where the tattoo it is. Also, ink color has a lot to do with as well." She explained and held the large pack of food out to her two companions. "Would you like some?"

"I imagine the one on your side hurt the most." Raven nodded to Josephine's comment and smiled when she reached out and picked up an apple. Dorian chose a pear which was more than fine, Raven preferred grapes and cheese.

"I had to take pain killers through those sessions. The one on my foot and back hurt too."

"You chose to get them?" Dorian asked and she nodded, "Why?"

"They make me feel pretty." She replied quickly, "Now enough about me. What's the rundown once we get to Val Royeaux?" As Josephine started to list off the things that needed to be done in the city Raven was happy for the change in subject and listened intently although unfortunately it seemed as though once they arrived it would be about her again because the first thing Josephine listed off was to go to the tailors to get her fitted for _at least_ three dresses. Dorian commented about how lucky she was with pure sarcasm which earned a polite, eloquent insult from the Antivan and that was how it continued. Raven eventually tuned them out, settling for looking out the carriage window at the beautiful green scenery the passed while she casually munched on cheese and grapes. It was going to be a long couple days.

 

"Please listen to reason, Raven. Camille is the best dress maker in Val Royeaux, even royalty comes to her first when they need something." Josephine pleaded quietly as she and Dorian followed her through the streets of the capital. It was beautiful and very big like but Raven wasn't in the mood to go sight seeing. Instead her jaw was clenched as she focused on the pain her nails caused as they dug into her skin. That fucking bitch isn't coming anywhere near by body, she thought and turned a right at one of the corners thankful her choice in direction and memory were correct. In front of her was a small café and the nice masked Orlesian host was quick to greet her and show the small group to a table in the back where they were quickly served three large glasses and a pitcher of ice water. A waiter had come by not long after to adverte the specials and what Raven considered to be brown nosing the Inquisition before taking their orders. Once they were done being catered to the conversation continued.

"I don't care if she's the best dress maker in Val Royeaux. I don't care if she's the best dress maker in the world. Josie that bitch called me fat! I'm at least one fifth her size. Shut up Dorian." Raven snapped when he chuckled. Dorian stared at the small girl who sat next to him quietly fuming; her cheeks had gone red from anger and nearly matched her hair which was now loose and fell over her tattooed arms. When he noticed the bit of blood on her hands he nearly rolled his eyes but instead let out a small curse in his mother tongue and pulled her hands from their place on the table. It was true that he didn't know much about healing magic but the bloody nail marks were light and soon the skin was mended back together and she was dabbing the blood away with a napkin. When she wasn't looking he glanced toward Josephine who seemed to be fretting even more than Raven.

"What are we going to do now? Without Camille…" Josephine trailed off and took a sip of her water. Raven sighed, still furious but also hating that she'd made her friend worry. It wasn't fair.

"I'm sorry Josephine. I can go back and try talking to her. If all else fails we can go to another tailor or I have experience making dresses." Both of her friends stared at her as she did her best to offer solutions and she could easily see the disbelief etched in Josephine's features. Dorian opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, and he was going to. He was simply dying to know how someone like her could be trained to make dresses.

"Hello." A quiet voice greeted which brought his attention from his tiny redhead friend over to a tall and thin blond woman. Unlike the other Orlesian's she wasn't wearing a mask and she was smiling down at them, her brown eyes meeting Raven's, "I apologize for interrupting. I couldn't help but overhear your problem. My name is Delphine, my brother Adrian and I make dresses and we would be honored to have an opportunity to provide for the Inquisition."

Raven stared at the girl, admiring the cornflower blue dress wrapped around her lithe frame. The neckline was a mixture between a scoop and shoulder cut which showed off her collar bones and ruching along the chest and waist gave her curves that she wouldn't have had otherwise. The dress was beautiful and when Josephine didn't say anything Raven looked at her friends to see them looking back at her expectantly. It was then that Raven realized it was only she being spoken to and looked back at the girl now standing there looking nervous while awaiting a reply. "I'm sorry; I didn't know that you were talking to me specifically. How did you know we were part of the Inquisition." She asked.

"I recognized Miss Montilyet and would have addressed her first but it seemed like you were the one who was in distress." Delphine explained and Raven nodded although what she was feeling could hardly be described as distress, just annoyance. Between the comments about her size and the self-righteous attitude it was best for Raven to leave before she buried the knife hidden in her bra into the horrible woman's throat.

"In that case my name is Raven. The dress you're wearing; did you or your brother make it?" She asked and when Delphine nodded enthusiastically Raven motioned for her to turn around so she could see the rest. Raven was surprised to see an adorable little bow resting in the small of the girl's back. Satisfied, she turned to Josephine. "I'd like to see what they have to offer. Can we go after lunch?"

"Of course. I'd also like to see what else she and her brother have." Josephine acquiesced, also impressed in the quality of what she'd seen. She would have to feel the fabric and look at it more closely but it was surely not something to overlook. Raven seemed to be in a better mood and more excited about dress shopping since the young girl approached as well, which was helpful. Apparently happy with her answer Raven smiled and looked back to the girl.

"Do you have a business card?" She asked which earned her a confused look, "Something with the name and location of your shop?"

"We're located on the high level above the armor shop. The name Cousland is on a sign over the door." Delphine informed them and Raven felt her eyes widen. Cousland... did they have any relation to the Ferelden noble clan? Raven thought back to when she used to play Origins, female rogue Cousland was always her favorite.

"Are you by any chance related to the noble family and Hero of Ferelden?" Dorian asked before Raven could and Delphine eyes brightened as she smiled.

"She's our cousin. We haven't heard anything from her in a while though. Should I tell my brother to be expecting you?" She asked while returning her attention to Raven who nodded while taking a sip of her water. As Delphine turned to leave Raven spoke up and watched the girl turn around again.

"Would you happen to sell bolts of regular material and thread?" She asked and ignored the curious looks from Dorian and Josephine. Delphine's eyes seemed to light up even more.

"Not many people ask for cloth and sewing supplies but we do sell them. We'll see you soon." She said happily and left as their food was served. Dorian had ordered something weirdly named with pork and ginger while Josephine in her slight meltdown mode had recommended to Raven a salad with a raspberry balsamic dressing, cranberries, oranges, pecans, and bleu cheese with pecan crusted chicken. While Raven started to eat Josephine and Dorian still looked at her.

"So why do you want plain fabric?" Dorian asked and Raven stopped cutting into one of the pieces of sliced chicken. He smiled when she looked up at him from her plate, "Surely you know that with the right smile and touch you could get anything. If you're not familiar with that kind of art yet I suppose I can teach you. I am the best." As he spoke Raven nearly lost herself in his words. Was he talking about seduction? Knowing him he had to have been and Raven felt heat rise to her cheeks.

"That isn't necessary but thank you." Raven replied curtly as she looked down and continued cutting her chicken into smaller pieces before drizzling the dressing over her salad and mixing it in. Dorian continued to watch her as if fascinated by her actions. It nearly made her hands shake and he had to wonder if maybe she didn't know the effect she had on others.

"Forgive me if I seem crass but is this shy virgin role you're playing an act or is it real?" Dorian asked bluntly and he had to look over to Josephine when he heard silverware hit the glass plate and her choke on air. When he was sure she would be okay he looked at Raven again half expecting her to either glare at him or use the weapon he knew she had hidden on her. Instead he was surprised to see her sitting across from him and slowly chewing a bite of her food. It was delicious and she knew she would have to stop by again before leaving. Raven thought about Dorian's question and she wasn't sure how to respond or if she should be offended. Did other people wonder that too or was it just him? It wasn't like she intended to come off as shy, Raven thought she was pretty outspoken when it came to most things.

"Dorian!" Josephine finally managed to gasp out. Raven and Dorian could tell she was going to say more so Raven spoke up before she was able, not that he didn't deserve to be yelled at, she decided. It was an inappropriate question to ask over lunch and in public. With any luck his question probably made Cole being in her room so early that morning seem like less of a big deal.

"I don't understand what you mean." She said and for effect Raven cocked her head to the side. Dorian continued to stare at her. "I think you do. I think you know the effect you have on Cullen and Christopher. Please don't take it as an insult. It's ver-"

"Wait a minute. What effect?" Raven asked suddenly, not caring that she cut him off. Him bringing up actual men that she knew wasn't what she expected and judging from Dorian's wide eyes and suddenly blank expression he knew he said too much. Oh well, he thought, if the cats out of the bag...

"The way they blush when you talk to them, continue to look at you as you walk away, smile when you greet them. Don't tell anyone but I adore the mushy things." He explained and Raven sat back in her chair, feeling amazed and stupid if what he just said was true. How did she never notice? "You really didn't know." Dorian guessed though it was more of a statement.

"No I didn't. I never thought about it but I don't think me being a virgin has anything to do with it either." She explained calmly. Her mind was racing and she felt jittery. If what he said was true she would have to apologize and put a stop to it. Dorian found himself chuckling at the small girl. He couldn't help it.

"Sex and seduction are sometimes the best tools anyone can have in their arsenal," He explained matter-of-factly, "If you already have men fawning over you with a simple smile, hug, and touch to the arm you've got a good start." It was meant to be a compliment but he nearly felt bad when she wouldn't look him in the eye. Instead she pushed her barely touched meal away and looked to Josephine who, Dorian noticed, seemed to have done the same thing.

"I'm sorry but I'm not really hungry anymore. Maybe we can come back another time?" Raven asked and earned a nod from the other woman.

"You never did answer my initial question; why do you want plain fabric?" He asked just to tease her. She sighed in exasperation.

"Some things I prefer to make myself." She replied shortly as she shot him a glance. Maybe it was her mood from earlier but he was getting to be a bit much and she was really starting to wonder why Josephine brought him along.


	13. Corsets

"Hello again Ma'am. I didn't expect to see you so soon." Delphine had kindly greeted Raven as she walked into the shop. Raven smiled at the girl, her head still reeling from Dorian's comments over lunch and she was glad he'd decided to check out one of the bookstores across the downtown market instead of coming with her. The shop was bigger than it looked from outside with dozens of fabrics in all colors along the cream colored walls and an equal amount of thread and sewing tools; the stores back wall was all mirrors where three pedestals of varying height were placed, and fitting rooms were on the opposite side of the store from the fabric. As Raven took her time admiring the premade sample dresses hanging from the ceiling she was already starting to feel better.

"I just couldn't wait to see the shop." Raven responded with a smile as she gently ran her fingers over one of the dresses skirts. The stitching was smooth and straight and the material glided through her fingers. Raven wasn't overly familiar with the materials used in Thedas but she had to guess it was dyed ring velvet. Delphine let out a small giggle and made her way over to Raven. The redhead seemed to have a good eye as she examined the skirts on one of the sample dresses Adrian had made. It was a simple yet elegant A-line gown with an asymmetrical neckline made from dyed purple ring velvet and matching colored lustrous cotton underneath. However the young girl didn't seem to be looking at the dress as a whole but instead seemed to be examining the stitching and material. "This is beautiful. I love the layering."

"Thank you Ma'am. My brother is out to lunch right now but I can help. May I ask where your companions are?" She asked and smiled when Raven looked away from the dress and to her.

"Lady Montilyet said she had a small errand to run before she heads this way. I've been instructed to have my measurements taken." Raven replied feeling more excited than she was willing to admit. Delphine nodded and took a worn roll of bound tape from a pocket in her dress. Raven caught the inch and centimeter markings.

"Easy enough. Have you been measured before?" She asked and Raven nodded, "Would you happen to remember what the measurements were, that way we can see if anything has changed. Also, are you just looking for dresses or are you looking for corsets too?" As she spoke Delphine took notice of the clothes Raven wore and aside from the jacket she'd never see anyone dress so casually in Orlais before. Delphine knew the girl wasn't Orlesian but even tourists usually dressed their best when coming to the capital. Still she admired the lace white top. Raven let go of the skirts and nodded while taking off her jacket, noticing how Delphine's eyes widened when she saw the tattoos. The girl was simple and nonchalant as she went over her previous measurements, twice because Delphine could hardly believe it. It was true that she was small but her size nearly rivaled a child and when Delphine had asked Raven's age the redhead had giggled and revealed she was twenty, older than Delphine by two years. When Delphine asked to confirm her measurements and suggested going in back to do so to protect Raven's modesty the small girl had shrugged and assured that it'd be okay. Two minutes later it was confirmed that Raven's words were true. Thirty-two inch bust, twenty-one inch waist, and thirty-one inch hips.

"My mom was small too. I used to wear her old clothes while training. So how do we do this? I've never done this before." Raven asked while moving across the store. Delphine had grabbed her writing board, some paper, an ink jar, and quill and followed her to the bolts of cloth. "How much are the styles of cloth per yard or feet? This will be a separate purchase." Delphine watched as she ran one hand over a bolt of dyed green lustrous cotton and another over a bolt of plaidweave. She liked the materials and had to smile; in the game she used plaidweave as a punishment because she hated the almost canary yellow color mixed with the bright red but as she looked at the fabric in front of her the yellow almost appeared gold and the stark red from before was more of a maroon. It was soft and she could definitely see it used for more than patches in a quilt. She wanted a shirt and a matching sash.

"Every type of fabric with a red colored bolt is twenty gold pieces for six feet, the fabric with the blue bolts are twenty-four, and purple is thirty-six. May I ask what you plan on making? Maybe I can suggest something." Delphine offered and Raven looked back at the fabric. It was cheaper than what she thought it would be, a lot cheaper. As Raven was about to continue looking over the fabrics she heard Josephine enter the store, talking with a man with a much lighter voice than Dorian. She turned to look at them at the same time Delphine did. "Hello Lady Montilyet, brother I see you've already met. I'd like to introduce you to Raven." Delphine introduced and Adrian smiled at them.

"Lady Josephine has already told me so much about you Raven and I'm pleased to meet you. Shall we get started?" He asked politely. Delphine noticed Raven's head cock slightly to the side and watched as she merely shrugged.

"I'd like your help later if you don't mind." Raven said quietly as she made her way over to Adrian. He was a handsome man, in Raven's opinion, with chestnut brown hair and blue eyes. She guessed he was in his mid twenties and Raven wasn't above noticing the black mages robes he wore. When she was close enough to him she held out her hand for him to shake and nearly jumped back as he gently took it within both his own and kissed the top of it. Her actions earned a laugh from him as well as Josephine.

The store was closed for the day, or better yet it had been closed the moment Adrian and Josephine had arrived. Since his arrival Adrian's and Delphine's attention had been on going over what was needed and wanted for Raven since it was revealed she would be attending formal events as a member of the Inquisition. Going over her measurements and best type of dresses to fit her silhouette had barely taken any time at all. It was the small things like the neckline, sleeve length, which materials to use for the occasion the dress was meant for, and what color the dresses would be that turned out to be time consuming. Every small thing from Raven's hair color and length, skin tone, and tattoos were factors. Raven sat back in one of the padded chairs listening to Adrian and Delphine make suggestions and Josephine's respond. Three corsets had been drawn up so far which could be worn with the long skirts Josephine insisted they get and two dresses had been discussed and drawn up which were both outside the norm of Orlesian fashion; the first one was a silk emerald green floor length sheath dress with a one shoulder drapery and slight ruching. With a pair of matching emerald green shoes it was supposed to make Raven appear taller, regal, and bring out her eyes and the natural red highlights in her hair. The second dress was a bit more casual even though it was a floor length ball gown dress. It was black and sleeveless with a sweetheart neckline which Raven knew would show off her figure. Josephine explained that it would be something nice to wear for tea or a casual lunch. They were in the process of working on a third dress which Raven had more of a say in. So far she was happy with the results and they'd be returning the next day. The last half hour consisted of nothing but shopping for cloth. Josephine had insisted on adding it to the Inquisitions tab but Raven wouldn't hear of it and by the time they left she'd gotten ten yards each of the plaidweave, sangria colored lustrous cotton, black lustrous cotton, highever weave, velveteen, and thick lambswool dyed black. Joining  the purchase were three yards each of blue silk brocade, darkened samite,  white cotton, pink cotton, and ring velvet. She was also pleasantly surprised that they'd had a rotary cutter, scissors, lots of thread, sets of needles, and rulers. They were to be delivered in the morning.

"That was a more pleasant experience than I thought it'd be." Raven commented as they made their way to the suite they'd be staying in. The sun was setting and Raven admired the skyline of Val Royeaux as they strolled along the upper levels. The street lamps were being lit as music and chattering could be heard from below.

"I know we threw quite a few things at you today but I'm glad you were able to enjoy it. I must admit that I like their quality and ideas and am looking forward to seeing the end result." Raven nodded in acknowledgment to Josephine's comment while looking at the displays in the shop windows they passed. Josephine noticed her fingers grazing the old stone. "You said you were going to make a blanket with all that fabric you bought. Does one blanket really need so much?" The older woman inquired.

"Before my grandmother passed she made me a quilt. The underside and outer edges were all black and then there were patches of all sorts of different colored and textured fabrics. Unlike a normal quilt which hides the seams on the inside the quilt she made has them showing on the outside. Rag quilts, they're called. I want one." Raven explained as thoughts and memories of her grandmother played in her mind like a movie. Josephine was silent as she continued, "They very seldom ever call for that much fabric but I'm intending on making a much bigger, thicker blanket. There's more to cuddle up with that way."

"And you insist on making it by yourself?" Josephine asked and Raven nodded again.

"The best part about making something like this is getting to mix and match the different materials and patterns. If I have someone else doing it, assuming they understand the concept, it would be their design and what they want. Besides, with all the time and energy I put into helping the Inquisition sometimes it's nice to relax and I really do have fun making things like this." Like Josephine and her dolls, Raven continued silently and smiled to herself. Josephine didn't need to know how Raven knew that, even though it would be entertaining.

 

Out of habit Raven was up and dressed before dawn and met Adrian at the door as he delivered the wrapped and labeled fabrics and sewing supplies. The man looked tired but declined when Raven invited him in for tea but promised to make it up to her at the shop later in the day. Once he left Raven wasted no time at all ripping into package after package for the fabrics and supplies she needed. She spent the next two hours measuring and cutting out square after square of plaidweave, sangria cotton, black cotton, samite, highever weave, and lambswool. Josephine found her in the… what could be described as a foyer, though Raven called it a living room since it had a fireplace a large table, and a few chairs straightening out each square.

"You're up early." Josephine observed pleasantly as she took a seat across the table from Raven. The young girl didn't look up from what she was doing as she let a sound of acknowledgement so Josephine decided to sit quietly and watch as Raven took piece after piece of square cut fabric and put then into groups of three before clipping them together and putting them into an already existing pile. Finally the material was all grouped and it didn't take Josephine long to realize the order of material was randomized. One hundred and twenty groups of ten by ten inch squares in total and four piles were created, sorted by the design of fabric on the top. It wasn't until Raven brought out threads and needles that Josephine spoke again, "Does this quilt really need to much material?" Raven jumped in response and laughed when she looked up to see Josephine seated across the table with her hair untied and wearing a simple dressing gown.

"How long have you been there?" She asked which earned a look of skepticism from her friend and gave Raven the answer she needed, "Sorry. I zone out sometimes." 

"There is no need to apologize. I understand how it can be. That is a lot of material and is it meant to have no specific order?" Raven set the thread aside and pulled a grouped square from each pile. As Josephine watched Raven arrange the squares together so it displayed each material and pattern. Once they were laid out in front of her Josephine was able to see how a pattern could emerge within the colors. 

"The type of quilt I'm making is supposed to have multiple layers of fabric. If you've noticed there are three layers of cloth in each grouped square and the only layer that has changed is the top. The middle layer will always be lambswool and the bottom, or backing, will always be the black lustrous cotton leaving either the plaidweave, samite, sangria cotton, or highever weave on top. Also with more styles of cloth there more possibilities there are to establish a design. A lot of people like the organization aspect of these patterns but I think it being random and sporadic is fun." As she spoke she picked up a spool of black thread, unwound about four feet before cutting it, and threaded her chosen needle with ease while quietly humming an unfamiliar tune to herself. Josephine stood up and nearly announced that she would be making tea for them but refrained herself at the last moment, not wanting to disrupt the rhythm and concentration Raven seemed to have quickly developed. She wasn't sure if it was from years of practice or something she'd already had in mind when she started but Josephine was nevertheless impressed at the efficiency. 

That was how Dorian found them about an hour later. Raven heard the mage coming down the stairs while commenting on how early it was but chose to continue working on her squares. Half were done so far and the only time she stopped was to change the thread color. Once Josephine had returned with a tray bearing three tea cups, a bowl of sugar, another bowl of milk, and a hot kettle she had continued to talk while Raven worked, every now and then asking questions but she seemed more interested in creating and going over an agenda for the day while accepting the monosyllabic replies from the young girl as most of her concentration still remained on the fabric in her hands. Eventually food would be needed and Josephine wanted to go back to the Cousland's shop after lunch. Dorian sat down at the table and listened for a moment while watching Raven attend to the craft in front of her. 

"Will she be trying on clothes today?" Dorian asked while looking at Raven. She didn't so much as look up or respond to his presence and he wondered if it was because of their conversation over lunch the day before. 

"In a sense," Josephine started while glancing at Raven who was still working on her sewing, "The dresses won't be ready for a week or so but Adrian said he should have some corsets for Raven to try on to see what she's most comfortable in." She didn't see Raven roll her eyes. 

"I know what I'm comfortable in Josie. You and Adrian just want to dress me up like a doll." Dorian snickered at Raven's comment. Of course she knew what she was comfortable in, Dorian thought to himself, she wore loose cotton pants and sleeveless shirts half the time. Her comment didn't stop Josephine from smiling.

"Dress up aside it's still a good idea to find out what type of corsets you'll be comfortable in and adjust any measurements." Josephine countered and Raven shrugged while cutting and tying the thread to the square she'd just finished. Halfway through the next square she glanced up and smiled at the older woman. Raven made the mention of wanting to wear dresses and corsets but never told them about the ones she had at home that she used for costumes and reenactments.

"I suppose you're right," Raven finally agreed, "I just hope if Adrian has any overbust styles that there's something with a sweetheart neckline. If not, he should at least have an underbust corset that's flexible enough to fight in if it's needed. We should go out for breakfast soon, I'm hungry." Josephine stared at her quietly, hardly believing what she heard as Dorian let out a loud and rather undignified laugh.

"I think breakfast sounds like a good idea. Is there anything you had in mind?" Josephine finally said since she couldn't think of an appropriate response regarding the corsets. It wasn't often she brought up wanting food as well, normally she waited till others were hungry or unexpectedly pulled something out of her bag like the day before with the food Cole had packed for her. Then again it wasn't the first time she'd seen the spirit present her with something. Raven tied off the square she had finished and put it on top of a pile of completed ones before standing.

"Since it's our suite can I leave these here? I'll be finishing up the rest tonight once we get back." Raven asked and Josephine nodded, no one would be entering while they were out. Security would see to that. "Also, scrambled eggs with cheese, toast, and some fruit sound good. I'll go get ready." Once she was upstairs and they heard the door to her room close Dorian and Josephine looked at each other. He couldn’t help but smile as she gave an exasperated sigh. Someday Raven was going to have to run out of things to keep secret, Josephine thought to herself but then shook her head and stood up from her chair.

"Is everything alright?" Dorian asked already knowing the answer. As she walked past the mage she threw him an unladylike glare and started to make her way up the stairs. She had no clue why she allowed him to come. All he seemed to offer was sarcasm and uncomfortable conversations. Next time he wouldn't be so insistent to come.

"Combat training, previous knowledge of battle strategy, dress making, sewing, someday I will learn how and why she knows all this as well as anything else." The Ambassador grumbled as she ascended the stairs and Dorian chuckled again. There was always an easier way.

"Maybe you should just ask Cole. With how he spouts out everyone's inner thoughts asking him about her shouldn't be a problem." He voiced out causing Josephine to stop and look at him. Why hadn't she thought of that? It would press the boundaries she knew Raven had set up, keeping everything professional as much as she could, but if she knew more perhaps Raven would be willing to relax instead of giving carefully dodged answers. Instead of saying anything she continued moving up the stairs and to her room leaving the mage alone.

 

When Raven was finally ready for the day and came downstairs she was alone again, something she was grateful for since her clothing choice was rather questionable. Being so tired yesterday morning  she didn't pay attention to what Cole had packed for her and once they got back to the suite the night before she'd merely stripped her clothes and threw them on again to meet Adrian only a couple hours before so as she left the bath, hair wet and towel wrapped around her frame she brought her bag onto the bed and dumped out its contents to find her brush and deodorant but stopped when she saw that her clothing options had consisted of a pair of black fashionably ripped up skin tight jeans, a knee length lacy skirt, a gray peasant top, a black cold shoulder blouse, a bra, socks, a thong, and a pair of lacy boy shorts. As funny as it was she came to the conclusion that he was not allowed to pack her bag anymore. Thankfully as Josephine, then Dorian, came down and eyed her sitting patiently on one of the couches with her hair styled and dressed in her pair of ripped up jeans, black top, and black boots they didn't say anything. At least she wasn't wearing a tank top.

Breakfast was delicious and full of conversation but otherwise slightly uneventful. It was warmer than the day before so there were more people out, something she didn't seem to mind. A few nobles and richer citizens of Val Royeaux were out as well and Josephine not only questioned Raven to see if she remembered their names and titles but also took the opportunity to introduce her to them as a part of the Inquisition despite her attire which most admitted to finding it charming. Still, Raven smiled, addressed them politely, and answered any questions they asked and had even found a pleasant common ground talking about the Templars with a Marquis and dress embellishments with a Countess. Both conversations had ended with lunch invitations, something Josephine breathed a sigh of relief for once they were out of sight and earshot.

 

"Lady Josephine, Lady Raven," Adrian exclaimed happily as the two women entered the shop with Dorian following behind them, "It's lovely to see you again." Raven smiled as the mage as he came forward, took her hand, and kissed it. She still found it weird but smiled as Josephine giggled when he did the same to her. Raven was also quick to introduce Dorian who was silently and slightly regretting not joining them the day before. The younger mage was something Dorian would have thoroughly enjoyed watching for the hours they spent together the day before.

"Thank you again for delivering the fabric this morning." Raven spoke and Dorian wondered if he was the only one to see the slight red tint color the fellow mages neck as he brought a hand up to brush his hair back. It was cute nervous tick.

"It was my pleasure. I'm sorry if I woke you though." He apologized and Raven cocked her head to the side at his words.

"No," She said slowly, "You didn't wake me. I just wasn't entirely coherent." She explained and gave him a reassuring smile. Adrian nodded while trying to understand her words. Her voice had a hint of humor and she was polite but some of her words and how she used them were so different. Her actions too, he noted as her expression changed, like she just thought of something. "You have corsets for me?" When he nodded she clapped her hands together. Even Josephine and Dorian were looking at her strangely since she hadn't been too eager earlier in the day.

"We have quite a few already made ones, with some minor adjustments I think they'll fit you. The personalized ones we talked about last night won't be ready for a week or so." He explained to her as well as Josephine since she seemed to be the one taking control. She and Raven nodded together.

"Can we stay away from anything that cinches the waist too much?" Raven asked in all sincerity hoping that Josephine wouldn't be upset as the Ambassador looked at her. She did say today was to find what Raven would be comfortable in, "I never liked or was comfortable with the look and feel of a really tiny waist and obnoxiously huge hips and bust. I can't pull it off." She explained and was surprised with Adrian laughed.

"From what you seemed to like yesterday and with the silhouette you already have that didn't even cross my mind. What I picked out for you are some corsets that will go over the bust with different patterns, cuts, and length and some simple under the bust corsets you could even wear with the shirt you currently have on. The slit in the upper arms of that blouse are very appealing." He complimented and Raven was about to thank him when Delphine came out with her arms nearly overloaded with a bundle of corsets and set them down in the biggest fitting room they had. Raven smirked at Adrian.

"I assume she'll be the one helping me?" Raven asked already knowing the answer and giggled when Adrian gave her a sheepish grin and ran a hand through his hair. He did that a lot and she liked the way it fell.

"Of course," Josephine answered for her and Dorian laughed while Raven ignored the stern look she was currently on the receiving end of as she made her way over to the fitting rooms. Delphine was helpful and pleasant as she had been the first two times they'd met. They started with the underbust corsets and waist cinchers to get them out of the way. Out of twelve she'd tried on eight fit almost perfectly and were beautiful, all steel boned and made from different colors and detailed brocade fabric, silk, and one even had tinted black ram leather. The overbust corsets were more varied and eclectic in taste including a light blue one made from deepstalker hide that turned out to be entirely way too long. Three, one after the other, fit well and were more for decoration with the sweetheart neckline, rich colors and embellishments than shaping ones silhouette. It barely had to be tied for it to enhance Raven's subtle curves and she knew wearing her bra, or any band, would probably not be needed the way it cupped her breasts and kept them in place even as she jumped and moved around. It was convenient. Raven liked it and surprisingly so did Josephine who insisted on putting them in the purchase pile. The very last two were different and something Raven never expected Adrian and Delphine to have but it showed off their talent.

The first one was a purple overbust corset with lace sleeves sewn into the top. It was lovely and seemed like more of a styled shirt. The second and last style was the one Raven fell in love with; it was an overbust corset with a less dramatic sweetheart neckline made of two different types of black silk, one with flowers and the other with black on black stripes which had random grommets. Also sewn into the hemline and top of the corset was sleeveless jacket made of the same corset material connected to a type of collar to keep it in place that could easily be removed. A small leather belt was partially embedded starting in the chest, slanting down connecting a bronze 'O' ring along the side and wrapping stopping at the waist where it met two other small leather bands holding pouches made from the stripe on stripe material. Before she revealed the final corset to her friends Raven did a few stretches to find out that she moved surprisingly well in the piece.

"Josephine I need this in my life." Raven commented as she walked out of the fitting room dressed in the corset. It fit like a damn glove and looked better than almost anything she could ever remember wearing. Josephine nearly dropped the cup of tea she'd been drinking from as the young girl came out smiling. The corset she was wearing wasn't anything like she'd seen before, especially in an Orlesian shop; nearly scandalous but equally alluring and it seemed to fit her body and personality perfectly. She also had to admit it made those shredded skintight pants she was wearing look much better. Adrian stared at her and the creation she was wearing. It had been a design he and Delphine had been working on for fun over the last couple months but since it wasn't something usually suited for the normal patrons who visited the shop the corset was kept in back.

"Maker," Adrian started, "that looks beautiful on you. You could even pass as a courtesan." Raven looked at him and smiled. For effect she untied her hair and let it fall down to her waist.

"They have courtesans here?" She asked excitedly but didn't say anything else when she saw the glare Josephine was giving her. 

"Shit." Dorian found himself saying as he looked at the young girl in awe. If she wore those types of things regularly he'd be in danger of no longer being the best dressed at Skyhold.

"I want to buy this and wear it out of here. Can I please?" She pleaded with Adrian who was slightly taken a back by her request. Her tone wasn't spoiled or demanding like most were that he'd previously dealt with in similar situations. So many demanded work of him but she wasn't demanding, wasn't rude. She was asking him if it was alright. Adrian found himself nodding and was even more caught off guard as she closed the space between them with remarkable speed and threw her arms around him in a hug. Josephine let out a gasp but then chuckled, used to the reactions Raven often had. She still couldn't get over the piece the young girl was wearing. The mixed detailing somehow still appeared dignified and she looked taller, almost more confident than before. When Raven pulled away from Adrian she gave him a sheepish smile.

"I'm pleased you like it." He nearly stuttered, "I'm sure Delphine is as well." He looked back to his sister who was smiling and nodding.

"How much do I owe you for this?" Raven asked and Adrian looked at her incredulously. As the young girl looked away to pull the coin purse from the back pocket of her pants he noticed Delphine mover closer.  In their time creating the piece a price was never discussed.

"Seventy gold." Delphine answered. Her reply made Raven stop what she was doing and look at the girl, then Adrian expecting them to retract the price. It had to have been a mistake, something like the corset she was wearing that they created had to be much more.

"Come again?" Raven asked.

"Seventy gold," She repeated and they watched as Raven looked at Josephine who seemed just as surprised. Without a word Raven fished out her coin purse and pulled out two hundred gold; despite Delphine's protests and ramblings about how she and Josephine were doing them a favor Raven pushed it into her hands with the promise that she would be coming back for more.

It wasn't much longer till they were walking out of the Cousland's shop. Raven proudly wore her new corset and Josephine had to smile at how happy she seemed. Adrian would be delivering the rest later that night since they were to leave for Skyhold tomorrow morning. She was excited to go back. It was nice being with Josephine and even Dorian but she missed the routine she'd established with teaching the recruits and agents, spending time with Varric or Bull and the Chargers, Cole popping up out of nowhere, and even her talks with Cullen. She especially missed her bed and soon she'd have a nice new warm quilt to decorate it. 


	14. Homeward Bound

 

It was shortly after dawn when Cullen left his office feeling more rested than he had in weeks; the nightmares weren't so bad the night before and he was thankful that he managed to sleep for a few hours before waking and needing to start the day. Christopher announced that he would be leaving for the Fallow Mire within the week which would then be followed by Crestwood and Cullen needed to go over Christopher's plans and who his party members were to be. No doubt he would want Raven to come along since they'd received a letter from Josephine announcing that they'd be leaving Val Royeaux for Skyhold sometime that day. Knowing the Antivan she'd probably dragged Raven and Dorian out of bed already. As Cullen walked the battlements while reading the reports in his hands a sense of Déjà vu caused him to stop and look up. There, not five feet from where he stood was Cole sitting on the battlement wall, knees up to his chest, as he looked out to the distance like Cullen had caught him doing the other day.

"Good morning Cole," Cullen greeted politely, "Is everything alright?" The spirit looked at him and then back to the mountains. He liked the way the sun would come up and make the snow shine. Why wouldn't he be alright?

"Where I want to help no help is needed and nearly everyone is sleeping.' He replied, "Dreaming of past loves, fears, lives and loves lost and longing to be with them again. The cat's dream of lying in the light of the warm sun, mint, dancing and mice while the mice dream of cheese and dancing cats. They think it's funny. You didn't dream of dancing cats but you did dream and you did sleep. You should tell her. She worries when you don't sleep." Dark images and memories played out in Cole's mind of a younger Commander Cullen, he was a Templar then and not a Commander but a Knight-Captain. Cullen stared at the spirit while trying to make sense of what was said and also partially debating on walking back to his office and locking the door. It was too early for such confusion.

"No, I've never dreamt of dancing cats. Why are you sitting on the wall?" The Commander asked while hoping he'd get a more simple answer.

"They're coming back today." Cole stated, "I was with Varric last night when Christopher told him." Cullen stared at him incredulously and briefly wondered if he'd been waiting since last night. Cole heard it though and turned to look at Cullen. "I was with The Iron Bull until a couple hours ago. He's with the redheaded woman from the kitchens now. He doesn't like me to listen but his thoughts are loud. She's even louder. Are all women that loud?" He asked innocently and catching Cullen off guard. He'd have to talk to Varric about teaching the spirit about things that shouldn't be said.

"That… That isn't for me to say Cole." He finally answered but Cole heard more than his words even though Cullen tried not to think about it. Old memories, thoughts, longings, always wanted but can never have. First was Solana, a mage who died when abominations tore the Circle of Ferelden apart. He was so young then but now it was years later, so many things had happened in those years. Now he wanted Raven but couldn't have her, why couldn't he have her, Cole wondered and thought back to Lady Josephine's words the other morning; _inappropriate._ Longings like his were never inappropriate in the tower. Cole had thought about it since then, wanting to ask Varric but not knowing how. Had it been inappropriate because he didn't have the thoughts they did? Would it be appropriate for Cullen to be in her room instead? "You _do_ know that they won't be back until sometime this afternoon?"

"I wasn't sure. It's pretty though." Cole said quietly and vanished causing Cullen to jump back with a curse. He doubted he'd ever get used to that.

 

It was another early morning, at least it should've been. Once Adrian had delivered the corsets and some additional fabric, a courtesy for giving the shop so much business, Raven had changed into her lounge clothes, put aside the next days outfit, and packed her bags. Food from the café was delivered shortly after and Raven was happy nothing deterred her from finishing her salad the second time around. Afterwards was spent around the large table; Dorian telling them about his life and growing up in Tevinter and in return Josephine talked about Antiva City, the heart and capital of her country. Instead of working on her quilt Raven joined the conversation and told them of her family, friends, and stories from when and where she was from; neither of them could hold in their surprise. She never talked about herself to that extent and both felt that it was a pleasant change.

Dorian was the first to retire for the evening, claiming he needed his beauty sleep, and was followed shortly after by Josephine. To avoid the horrible feeling and lack of coherency caused by waking up really early the next morning Raven didn't sleep. With the help of two kettles worth of highly caffeinated black tea and some sugar Raven worked on her quilt throughout the night, singing quietly to herself and getting up to stretch every hour or so. She hadn't pulled an all-nighter in so long that she was surprised at how easy it was. By the time Raven had finished sewing all the squares, arranged and rearranged the squares to find a pattern she liked, drew a diagram to remember the pattern, and started sewing she'd been so engrossed in her project that she didn't hear a door shut and footsteps on the wooden floors until a chair from across the table was pulled out and Dorian sat down. Raven stopped sewing and looked up at the mage. His hair was tousled and the only thing he wore was a pair of simple cotton trousers, which Raven imagined would be the last thing he'd ever sleep in. He screamed silks and furs, not cotton.

"You, Little Bird, are either up very late or very early." He commented while eyeing the tea kettle, half empty glass bowl of sugar, and the line of pinned fabric she was currently sewing to the three already together.

"I wanted to get as much of this done as possible. With us going back to Skyhold who knows when I'll have the time to work on it." She replied simply and continued to sew. Dorian watched her fingers move, quick and efficient as the pulled the needle and thread through the fabric. He found that he liked puffs of fabric outlining each square. When she was done sewing that row, creating four in total, and smoothed it out on the table between them Dorian realized, at least, how wide the blanket would be. On the far right of the table where the other squares were piled together when he'd gone to bed six hours ago were sewn into the rows needed and were neatly folded waiting to be attached to the mass of fabric before him. She had been busy.

"Sweet Maker, do you really need a blanket that large?" He asked and received a rather adorable giggle from the girl sitting across from him.

"Yes. Yes I do." Again with the simple reply.

"May I ask why?" As he spoke Raven refilled her tea. It was cooler now and didn't mix as well with the sugar but that didn't stop her from drinking half the cup. She missed her old tea cups back home. Actually they were twenty-six ounce ceramic soup bowls with handles but she used them for tea. She also missed the different blends of tea her and her father had collected. Dorian was still looking at her, waiting for an answer, when she put down the cup.

"I suppose I can give you a vast multitude of reasons ranging from me taking pride in the crafts I do to it being something pretty to look at, or I can even point out that we live in a stone fortress in the Frostback Mountains but truthfully, between us and only us, it makes me feel safe and relaxed. If I'm stressed or exhausted I can go back to my room, wrap myself in this freaking behemoth of a quilt that _I_ made, and decompress. I'm giving my all to the Inquisition and I really do love every moment of it but getting used to so much in such a short time span is exhausting." She calmly explained. Even though she kept eye contact with him he noticed how one of her hands started to rub a patch of plaidweave. He understood needing to relax though he preferred to relax in a completely different way. Would she be upset if he brought it up again, he wondered.

"There are always men and women around Skyhold that would be happy to help you relax," Dorian said much less casually than the day before and Raven wasn't sure how to respond or feel about him bringing up the topic again. "if not for sex than just to spend time with." He continued.

"I spend time with a lot of people Dorian." She argued.

"Yet you're still always on edge. You don't allow yourself to completely relax around them. I'm not saying you have to, Maker knows you'd most likely stab me if I tried giving you an order, but it is something you should at least consider. Trust me, having someone you can be yourself around, open up to, and let go of problems with is wonderful. Sex isn't the only form of intimacy." As Dorian spoke Raven was quiet. He was right in what he'd seen; she didn't relax around her friends. They were all major parts of the Inquisition and now so was she, she had to be careful with what was said and done because the last thing she, as the newest advisor and spy-in-training, needed was to inadvertently decrease the Inquisitions already questionable reputation. As she thought more about the inner circle of the Inquisition Raven had to smile; Bull was a Qunari spy, Dorian a Tevinter mage, Varric was known for smut and other books that sounded like smut, Sera was a Red Jenny, Cole was a spirit, and Solas was an apostate; the list went on. Was she really _that_ odd compared to the rest of them?

"What happens if sex is brought up or they attempt to add it into the equation?" Raven finally asked not sounding at all like her normal self and Dorian took that small crack her wall to realize just how naïve and unjaded she really was despite the knowledge that if needed she could slit a mans throat or even disembowel them without a second thought before they even realized she was there. It was sometimes difficult to remember that she was still a young girl and part of Dorian almost felt bad for her. "What if I don't want that?"

"If you don't want that then you tell them." Dorian replied sounding very much how he imagined a normal father would be, "If the subject gets pushed then you make them bleed and if you don't want to do that either then all you need to do is tell me or Bull or whoever you feel comfortable with and we'll take care of them." He could only begin to imagine the way the giant Qunari would have and it nearly made him smile.

"Is it wrong to be both horrified and entertained by the notion of _Bull_ taking care of that problem if it arises?" Raven asked with a chuckle. Dorian sat back in his chair and gently ran his hand over the unfinished blanket liking how soft it was. Maybe he could convince her to make one for him.

 

It had been nearly five hours since they started their journey back to Skyhold. Josephine wanted to be back already but she'd overslept, not that Raven and Dorian seemed to mind. She had slept past dawn and when she nearly ran out of her room to wake the two she was surprised to see them already downstairs. Raven had been in the same clothes she changed into the night before and her hair had been pulled into a messy style while Dorian was in a simple pair of trousers. That Maker forsaken quilt was between them covering the table as Raven continued to work on it.

By the time Josephine was dressed and the carriage was loaded with their bags and purchases supposedly ten rows out of twelve were completed. Dorian had let it slip that she'd stayed up the entire night working on it so as Raven had finished the remaining rows and completed the edges Josephine had quietly glared at her while doing her best to ignore how nice and warm she felt under the large object. Dorian had watched the exchanges between the two for a while with mild amusement but once the blanket was done Raven was asleep under it.

"I don't understand how she does it," Josephine confessed with a long sigh while looking at the girl curled up on the seat. Her head had turned to face the window and her hair was starting to come lose from the knot-like style she'd pulled it into. Dorian laughed and pulled out one of the books he'd purchased the other day. He'd been surprised to find a book about magic from his homeland in an Orlesian shop and it was turning out to be quite the pleasant read. "I'm serious. She'll probably sleep until we get back to Skyhold and then won’t be able to go back to sleep at a decent hour. Cullen will most likely have her continue with the recruits first thing in the morning."

"What I wouldn't give to be that young again." He commented in return, "It could always be worse. Most people that age are out having sex or getting into trouble and she chose to stay up all night making a blanket. My grandmother didn't even do that at sixty." She nodded in response for she couldn't find any untruth to them. The girl was remarkably mature for her age, or at least she presented herself to be.

"This is true. By the way I received a letter from Commander Cullen saying that Christopher wants to leave within the next few days." Dorian marked his page and set the book down, she had his full attention. Outings for the Inquisition, especially those with Christopher leading were always interesting and even though he'd been successful in his endeavors so far, what he planned and what actually happened were very seldom ever similar.

"Where does he plan on going?" The mage asked.

"First, the Fallow Mire to help rescue some of our troops and then he's supposed to meet with Mistress Hawke in Crestwood to meet with her Grey Warden contact. I'm not sure if he'll decide to do anything in between or after. You know how he is." She explained and Dorian hoped he wouldn't be chosen to go. He'd never been to the Fallow Mire before but heard nothing but dreadful things like how it was cold, rainy, and full of walking corpses.

"Is there any idea who he wants to bring with them?" He inquired and was surprised when Josephine merely shrugged.

"There is always an idea of who he's going to bring but nothing is certain. He'll most likely want Raven with him since there seems to be no end to her techniques and abilities." Dorian nodded in agreement but also had a feeling that he wanted her around for more than just her moves in battle. He was certain the handsome young mage fancied her; it was easy enough to see. Well, easy enough for most people anyway. Raven's response to him bringing up the subject, not once but twice, confirmed that she was completely oblivious to the attention she received. Even Dorian couldn't fully comprehend how she didn't know. Cullen had to be the worst. He was handsome and Dorian had spent quite a few nights thinking of all the things he'd like to do to the man and let that man do to him but it was almost like he was a puppy eager for attention when she was around; or at least a stuttering, blushing idiot. It was hard to decide which one fit better. Christopher had been so busy adjusting to the life and duties of being Inquisitor but Dorian remembered the night Haven was attacked and how he scoured the Chantry looking for her. Maker knows how he'd be if Cole hadn't found and saved her life. The dynamic between those two was another thing entirely and Dorian still had no idea how to react to it. It was like they seemed to have a deeper connection than he'd seen her have with anyone else including Solas, Bull, or even Varric.

"I imagine there's still a lot to do with her at Skyhold though." Dorian finally replied and Josephine didn't hesitate to nod.

"She's coming a long way in her lessons with me but with the Grand Masquerade Empress Celene is holding the more influence we have the easier it will be to gain and keep the courts approval. That's where Raven comes in and she's already off to a wonderful start. The Countess truly enjoyed her company and the Marquis couldn't take his eyes off her." Josephine could hardly contain her excitement and Dorian found himself starting to worry for his young redheaded friend currently sleeping not five feet from them.

"You're not going to try and marry her off to the Marquis are you?" Dorian asked, doing his best to muster up an amused voice. Josephine let out a small laugh while being mindful of Raven's current condition.

"She's too good for a Marquis. Perhaps a Duke or even a Prince." She replied only half serious. It was doubtful that they could handle her even with all their nobility and influence. She was cunning and smart enough to most likely get what she wanted, if she wanted anything in the first place, without batting an eye. She laughed when Dorian did.

"What about a Commander?" Dorian suggested and Josephine's smile grew.

"I thought I was the only one to see it!" She exclaimed and immediately went silent afterward when she heard a small groan come from Raven. When it was clear that she wouldn't wake Josephine turned her attention back to the mage. "It's' amusing to watch them go back and forth with one another. Once back at Haven he actually came into my office yelling and complaining about her and the way she would spar with the recruits."

"You're joking." Dorian said flatly. He'd seen the way she worked with the recruits and Cullen seemed perfectly fine with it. He'd be crazy to not, she was a fantastic instructor who demanded respect and was always ready to help. Josephine shook her head.

"It was brilliant. He bursts into my office angry and yelling with Raven casually walking in right behind him. It turns out that he didn't like her training and sparing with the soldiers without armor. 'She's a young woman', he said, 'she needs something to keep her safe'. There were other reasons and as he was ranting, red in the face, Raven fixed a cup of tea for all three of us and sat down with me. When most of it was out of his system she wasn't angry and she didn't argue. Instead she slid him his cup of tea and as he was taking a sip asked him very innocently if he was just jealous that his men and women now had a reason to touch her when he couldn't." As Josephine told the story she was near tears and Dorian was the same, biting his finger to keep from laughing. He could almost imagine the look Cullen would give, the gentleman he was.

"What happened?" Dorian asked.

"It was like she broke him! He spit out the tea, went silent, and looked away from her as his cheeks turned a shade of red that I'd never seen. He put down his tea cup, excused himself and the he topic hasn't been brought up since, at least to my knowledge." After being asked a question so blatantly like that Dorian couldn’t blame the man although when it came to Raven he would’ve handled it differently knowing she’d only respond to his witty remarks with of her own like nearly always. Cullen was too much of a gentleman to play that game. It was a shame; her responses were very amusing.

They rode in silence for a little while after that. Dorian picked up his book and continued reading while Josephine resumed looking over some of the contracts she had to discuss with Christopher when they got back to Skyhold. Both would occasionally say something to the other every now and then but mostly kept quiet out of mutual respect for the small sleeping girl cuddling with her part of the warm blanket beside them. As the carriage ascended the mountains Josephine was happy she made the thing so big after all.

 

It wasn't until the sun was starting to set over the mountains that the carriage crossed the stone bridge and entered the large gates of Skyhold. To Josephine's and Dorian's surprise Christopher, Cullen, Leliana, and Cole were awaiting their arrival and eagerly greeted them as they stepped onto the hard ground. Raven was still fast asleep and Josephine was quiet in her explanation when Christopher asked where she was. It wasn’t a surprise to Dorian that Cullen was the first to respond and watched silently as the blond Commander, in his ever bulky armor and almost silly heap of fur, moved toward the carriage. Whether he planned to wake the sleeping girl or carry her to her to room was still uncertain; Dorian guessed the latter and smiled as he watched the man take in sight of the overly large and colorful thing covering her and keeping her warm fairly sure she didn’t have that when they left only days ago.

Cole stood quietly next to Christopher listening to him speak to Lady Josephine about the trip he was taking. Tribesman, the Avaar, had taken Inquisition soldiers and Christopher wanted them back, he needed them. They all had families, friends, lovers, someone or something they were dear to and it was his job to make sure they came back safe. Cole admired his determination and he wanted to help. Christopher hadn’t fully decided on who he wanted with him yet.  Crestwood was a necessary stop on the way home. He needed to meet with a Warden Varric’s friend Hawke had talked about. She was a nice lady, friendly but often kept to herself if she had the option. She liked tea with milk and honey before bed and Cole always did his best to make sure that’s what she had. The first two nights he stood in the corner not letting her see him and watched the suspicious gleam in her eyes and her mind turning as she examined the cup before taking a chance sip. She was more accepting of it now and Cole didn’t stay and watch. Part of him wanted to, at night was when she thought of her Mother, Brother, and Sister and all the things she blamed herself for. He wanted to help but could easily sense that she wanted to be kept alone with the thoughts. The hurt helped her, pushed her, made her keep going when she wanted to give up. It was more crucial now because her lover wasn’t with her. Cole didn’t entirely mind, he wasn’t so sure he wanted to meet Fenris.

“I assume your trip went well?” Christopher asked and Josephine nodded. Cole caught flashes of the grand city in Josephine’s mind; the tall buildings, colorful banners, sitting with Raven and Dorian while eating, and then piece after piece of cloth on Raven, pieces he’d never seen. It was a very good trip for her.

“We managed to find a marvelous new tailor and I was able to introduce Raven to some of the Orlesian nobles. It was productive and Raven seemed to have a nice time which is always a good thing.” Josephine replied, stopping when she saw the surprised look on Christopher’s face. Cole turned to look along with her and watched as Commander Cullen slowly ascended the stairs with the small sleeping form of Raven practically clutched to his chest, her face buried in the fur lining around his neck. To the others it looked like she was asleep but Cole knew better. She was awake but just barely, drifting the edges of the fade and dreaming dreams of music, laughter, dancing, and fighting alongside The Iron Bull. Cole wasn’t sure if she dreamt of memories or what she wanted to happen but he liked that she was happy in the dream.

When he reached the top step he stopped to make sure Raven was still asleep, much to the amusement of the Inquisitor, Dorian, and Josephine. She’d stirred in the carriage when he did his best to gently untangle her from the large, thick blanket she had wrapped herself up in but was now resting peacefully against his chest. She was lighter than he imagined she’d be; of course she was small but she was also nearly all muscle. Cullen would never admit it but how light she was worried him. She never ate her food, merely picked at it and always worked so hard to stay on top of her abilities.

“Where’s the blanket?” Josephine asked noticing it was nowhere in sight. Raven was curled into his armor and showing no signs of being cold as she slept even though she wore a simple pair of cotton pants and one of her black shirts. Cullen looked back toward the carriage then to Josephine.

“It’s hers. No one else could make it. Marking, folding, and cutting, back hurting from the position but almost done, fingers hurt as they push and pull the needle through fabric after fabric over and over. She needed it to help. Thoughts of better times; happy, loved, content as he hugs me. He stinks with sweat but it’s comforting, it’s where I belong. I am safe.” They were silent as Cole rambled, revealing thought after thought he’d gleaned from Raven’s semiconscious state that she’d probably had more than once since she’d been found. While Christopher and Josephine continued to look at the spirit standing before them Cullen noticed Cole looking at Raven curiously. It was hard to know if his eyes were truly on her because of the hat but it wouldn’t surprise him.

“I’m having two of the recruits bring it up. It was too big to carry with her already in my arms.” Cullen explained and watched as Christopher and Josephine nodded in response and as if planned two of Raven’s own recruits ascended the stairs with the blanket neatly folded and carried between them. It was a funny sight, Christopher supposed and chuckled as they gasped for air. They didn’t have time to rest as Cullen gently repositioned Raven, politely excused himself, and started walking to her room. The recruits followed with silent curses. When they were far enough away Josephine giggled and turned to the others. Cole was no longer with them as well and they couldn’t blame him, the topic was rather dry.

“The stories they will tell.” She commented casually and glanced at Dorian to see that his focus was on Christopher who was still looking to the way Cullen had left. There would certainly be stories, he thought while trying not to feel bitter. Despite how he was feeling Christopher forced a laugh and looked back to Josephine.

“Get the Chargers or Varric involved and they will never end. Is there anything else you need from me Josephine regarding the trip?” Christopher finally asked. She nodded and looked down at the papers she’d received.

“Who are you planning to take with you and how long do you expect to be gone?” She asked while uncovering the ink jar and dipping her quill. Christopher thought for a moment still not entirely sure who he wanted in his party or how long he would be gone. That truthfully depended on how bad the Fallow Mire and Crestwood were.

“Cassandra, Bull, Solas, and Raven.” He answered simply all while anticipating the fit Josephine would likely throw at the request of taking Raven. She was damned talented but with her new position it wasn’t always an option. She deserved it though, Christopher reminded himself, and not only did they sort of throw it on her but she had no choice but to jump in feet first without even adjusting to the position. He admired her for it and so did almost every one else.

“And how long?” Josephine asked before coming to her decision.

“I honestly don’t know.” Christopher replied and knew it was a bad answer when Josephine sighed and shook her head. He didn’t expect to get away with that answer but it was always worth a try.

“Having her go now is not wise. The Masquerade is only a couple months away and she still has so much to learn and there’s also a matter of the recruits. Why not take Cole?” Josephine suggested. Christopher hadn’t seen Cole fight since the night Haven was attacked, how was he to know what else the spirit was capable of? When it came to Raven he saw he training day after day and discussed it was other members before bringing her out. Would he be open to training or showing what he could do besides help the ones who were hurt?

“I want to see what Cole is capable of before I take him out with me. Do you think you could arrange someone to spar with him? As far as Raven goes I understand. She’s still doing well?” He asked to make sure. Josephine nodded.

“She’s a very interesting woman but yes, she’s catching on a lot quicker than I anticipated. Leliana will begin training her later this week. Thank you for understanding. If you don’t mind I’m rather tired, please excuse me.” Christopher nodded as the Ambassador politely excused herself and slowly made her way into the main hall. There were a few documents she needed to drop off in her office before retiring. Anything else that needed attention could wait till tomorrow.


	15. The Effects of Tight Pants

  
  
Raven finally woke at what she guessed was right before dawn, confused at how she ended up in her bed back at Skyhold. She remembered the carriage ride home and talking with Dorian and Josephine but the rest was a blur. Did Bull or Blackwall bring her to her room? They were the only ones Raven could picture that would do something of the sort. Sitting up and looking down at her clothes she was pleased to see she was still in the same cotton top and pants from the ride though her boots and socks had been taken off and Raven could see them beside her dresser in the dim light of the candle that was left lit. It was warm, nearly too warm even for being in the Frostback Mountains so Raven threw off the blanket and made a move to get out of bed; her feet had just touched the floor when the silhouette of someone suddenly appeared causing her to jump back and out of instinct reach for the knife she normally kept on the bedside table. It wasn't there.  
  
"I scared you, I'm sorry." Raven heard Cole's voice and immediately felt herself relax. The room grew brighter as more candles were suddenly lit and when her eyes moved over the room again and landed on his figure he was much easier to make out. He stood near the table in the corner holding what looked like a cup. Raven brought a hand up to brush through her hair, scowling when she realized that it was no longer in the bun she had earlier and her fingers ran into tangles.  
  
"Is everything alright Cole?" She finally asked as she stood up. With the increased light in her room she saw her bags and the things she'd gotten from Val Royeaux neatly on the floor next to the wall, corsets included which Raven didn't mind. She wanted to test one of the more functional styles during training later.  
  
"Is there a reason things wouldn't be alright? I heard you start to wake even though you aren't training today. You like tea when you wake up so I brought some." He explained and she nearly just nodded out of habit until it registered that she wouldn't be training later. From beside the table Cole caught the glimpse of confusion on her face and raced to explain, "Cullen used the paper and quill on your table to leave a message after he brought you up here and made sure you were comfortable. You had a long journey so he's giving you the day to rest." He continued as he put down the steaming cup of tea and picked up the letter for her. She was still tired, he thought to himself, but her movements were fast as she came forward to accept the note from him. Her bright eyes scanned the paper and she let out a sigh before her eyes widened and she looked back to him.  
  
"What do you mean _Cullen_ brought me here?" She asked. It hadn't dawned on her when she'd first woken up that he of all people would perform that action. Her friend, teacher, fellow trainer and advisor. She knew he would never do anything unjust or wrong toward her, that he'd always remain a gentleman but the idea was strangely unsettling and Raven wasn't sure if it was because it was _Cullen himself_ who had taken liberty to bring her upstairs, take off her shoes and socks, and make sure she was comfortable or because she just hadn't considered the idea. It was true that Cullen was a good man and that they were friends of sorts who often spoke casually but there was still the lack of familiarity between them that she didn't share with Bull or even Cole.  
  
"Feeling happy and nervous at the thought of your arrival. There's still so much to do but she's probably exhausted. He was concerned when you didn't come out with Lady Josephine and Dorian. Sleeping, still sleeping. How can I possibly get her out of a blanket that large, she's completely wrapped in thing. Heart thudding, palms suddenly too warm under gloves as she curls into the fur lining of my cloak. She smells so good, like citrus and vanilla." Cole started and Raven did her best to tune out the recollection of thoughts he'd gleaned from the Commander. They were his thoughts, even if they were about her. She didn't need to know them, didn't want to know them either. It would make things awkward, not that they suddenly weren't already.  
  
"Thanks Cole. You don't need to tell me any more." She said quietly and the spirits eyes widened. He'd done it wrong.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make things worse. I know you don't want me to make you forget but please let me try again." He frantically requested but went silent when she reached out to put a tentative hand on his shoulder and managed to smile at him. At least he didn't recoil from her like last time.  
  
"Don't apologize for being you Cole. You're you and there's nothing wrong with that." Raven told him quietly and took her hand away. Cole missed the warmth of it but instead of voicing it he moved slightly so she could move to the table and grab her tea. "So did you do anything fun while I was gone?" She asked him.  
  
"Fun? I got to make cats dance and mice laugh and see Varric and The Iron Bull. Cullen also talked to me as well." He replied while watching Raven sip her tea. Her eyes didn't leave him though and he knew it was something she tried to do with everyone.  
  
"I miss Varric and Bull. Would you like to see them with me today?" She asked while doing her best to ignore that he spoke with Cullen. Cole didn't smile but he nodded in response.  
  
"Varric misses talking about writing and stories with you. The Iron Bull likes watching you laugh with the Chargers. I'd like to see them with you." He finally answered. She didn't want to talk about Cullen. Would it hurt her, he wondered and didn't want to find out.  
  
  
"Ginger, I was wondering when you'd come by and see me." Varric exclaimed when he saw her enter the main hall just after ten. The Kid was beside her and the dwarf wasted no time getting up from his seat at his usual table and greeting her with a hug. Something was different about her, maybe it was the corset she was wearing, the way she had her hair, or it was just the shards of ideas he was still having after seeing Curly carry her up the stairs and to her room as she slept. Lovers did that sort of thing and he was eager to find out what she was going on between the two.  
  
"I just got back last night. How have you been Varric?" She asked after she'd returned his hug and sat down in her usual spot beside him. Cole moved to sit on her other side but Varric pulled out the other seat beside him. Once Varric was seated he made quick work of cleaning up the papers spread out before him.  
  
"I'm always good. How was Val Roueaux?" He asked and looked up at her in time to see her give an exhausted smile, "I imagine Ruffles is pretty hard to keep up with."  
  
"Not at all, it was very productive and I had a lot of fun. It was just a very long trip." She explained and snatched one of the piles of paper from the dwarf, ignoring his half-hearted protests. Bills, more bills, ideas for the next chapter of Sword and Shields. "Mixing business with pleasure, I see?" She asked once the pages were read and she gave them back to him. He chuckled in response.  
  
"Not that it matters. How have you been? Anything new?" As he asked Varric was happy to see her lean back in her chair like she normally did when becoming comfortable with him. Raven thought back over the last week or so and nothing really new had happened.  
  
"Besides training scouts and recruits and undergoing my own lessons not much has happened beside the trip to Val Royeaux. Sorry to disappoint." She finally replied with a shrug. "I met some of the nobles Josephine told me about, made a blanket, tried on clothes. It definitely could've been worse, you know?"  
  
Varric stared at the young girl as she suddenly leaned forward to grab his pile of blank paper, his favorite quill, and the bottle of black ink. She was quick in her preparations and soon just seemed to be drawing lines on the page. In Varric's opinion playing dress up sounded pretty bad but in the grand scheme of things he knew she was right. "I like the corset you're wearing, by the way." He finally told her and saw the smile on her face.  
  
"Thank you. It's one of the many Josephine insisted buying me on our trip." She happily replied. Her eyes didn't leave the paper except to dip the tip of the quill into the ink.  
  
"So I saw Curly carry you to your room last night. I didn't know you and he were so close." Varric finally brought up. She stopped what she was doing and looked up at him. In the same moment he felt a hand on his and looked over at the kid who had been quiet and observing until now. He shook his head which caused the rim of his hat to flop.  
  
"Happy, excited but nervous to be around her again. Did she miss me while she was away? She's so light in my arms and small, so small. I love how her hair smells, skin soft and pale, please don't let me wake her. Almost there. She doesn't like how he feels Varric, not like his armor or hands but what he feels for her. They aren't close like everyone wants them to be." Cole rambled, taking Varric by surprise. When he looked back to Ginger she was working on the paper again. What she was doing with the paper seemed to finally be taking shape; a simple drawing of him and Cole seated at the table beside her.  
  
"What Cole said." She simply replied and moments later put the quill down and leaned back in her chair. Her signature was at the bottom, a neat little slant, and written up at the top was 'Father and Son'. It only momentarily deterred Varric from the topic at hand and what was said. Any girl would be excited over a handsome man like Curly taking an interest in them.  
  
"So what you're telling me is that this thing between you two; spending time together, talking, laughing, the way he looks at you, even him carrying you to your room last night, it's one sided." He asked whole hardly being able to believe it. His eyes didn't leave Ginger and he faintly heard The Kid asking him to stop since she didn't like it.  
  
"I spend time with him because it's a necessary part of my day. We are friends of sorts but we are also advisors for the Inquisition. He's a good man, handsome in a way I guess but I'm not lying. Whatever he feels or doesn't feel for me is his own choice and problem." She spoke softly and in a light voice for presentation, others were appearing in the main hall, but he understood her meaning. "Can this be something that we don't talk about again?" She also asked and reluctantly Varric nodded. They were friends, good friends, but Maker help anyone who fell for her.  
  
"Just one last thing then; is there anyone here you would be interested in?" Varric asked knowing he might as well be signing his own death warrant. She stared at him, wondering why she wanted to come and see him again.  
  
"I wasn't aware that I needed to be interested in anyone." She retorted almost more harshly than she intended and quickly stood up to leave. It was something Varric didn't want, he just wanted to talk.  
  
"You don't Ginger and I'm sorry if it came off that way." She nodded to show he heard him and made her way out of the main hall. Varric continued to watch her retreating back as she descended the stairs.  
  
"Did you understand any of that?" The dwarf finally asked Cole since he was still seated though his eyes were fixed on the table and he was picking at his gloves.  
  
"She's happy not being attached to anyone even though everyone seems to want her to be. She's happy seeing others together; Christopher and Cassandra, The Iron Bull and Dorian, Lady Josephine and Blackwall." Varric listened to the kid explain the inner workings of that girl like he'd known her for years instead of weeks. Every pair he listed off from her thoughts seemed to fit so well in some odd way and he had to remind himself that she most likely knew his, their, world and its inhabitants better than he did. "We weren't real to her so long ago, before she came here. We were stories. She really didn't like Cullen back then either."  
  
Varric could only chuckle at the Kids words.  
  
  
Despite the lack of activity in the main hall Raven was glad to see that it was busier than usual in the courtyard. About twenty soldiers and recruits stood around the sparring ring cheering on two large familiar men. Instead of just passing by she stopped besides Bull to watch Patrick and Andrew, her own recruit and the other Cullen's as they sparred. Given the rocky start she'd had with him he took her lessons seriously and was showing his progress before her now as he used Andrew's weakness of leaving his right side open to grab onto him and throw him to the ground in a way that even the most inexperienced person knew that he'd be feeling it later. It ended shortly after that and Patrick was the first to notice her and smiled.  
  
"Mistress O'Hara," He addressed her formally and she could tell Bull was looking down at her with a smirk, "It's great to see you. Did you have a nice trip?"  
  
"Definitely could've been worse. How's training with the Commander?" She asked, genuinely curious. The soldiers likes his methods and hers were very different.  
  
"Will you be resuming your lessons soon?" He asked and it gave her the answer she needed. Bull chuckled at his question.  
  
"Tomorrow at dawn. Have you seen the Commander around? I need to speak with him." Patrick only pointed to the door of his office along the battlements. Of course, she thought to herself, always in his damned office.  
  
When she knocked and entered like she normally did he was leaning over his desk reading a report. He didn't notice she was there at first, not until she was a foot from his desk and cleared her throat which caused him to jump back and grab the hilt of his sword before he realized it was her. Another nightmare had woken him hours ago and his head was splitting but it was nice to see her. She watched him amused as he regained his composure. It was nearly gone once he noticed the corset she was wearing, a man would have to be insane not to notice how it hugged her curves. She raised an eyebrow when he finally looked met her gaze. She still wore that same expression but her posture was more reserved than he'd seen of her.  
  
"Raven," Cullen addressed, "I trust you slept well." His comment caused her to look away and her mouth go dry.  
  
"I'm told it was you that carried me to my room." He brought a hand to the back of his neck.  
  
"I didn't want to wake you or leave you in a cold carriage. I apologize if it made you uncomfortable." Raven thought of his explanation and wasn't sure how to respond. He always had to be so damned considerate.  
  
"People are already starting to talk about it, about there possibly being an 'us'. Surely you've heard?" She finally retorted. She didn't look up as she heard him move around his desk to be closer to her. He'd been hearing the talk for a while among their recruits but it wasn't until his half thought out decision the day before that he was approached by anyone about it. Luckily it was Leliana who addressed it instead of one of those she was more close with.  
  
"It bothers you." It wasn't a question. Why did it bother her, he couldn't help wonder even though he was already sure of the answer. He was nothing outside the Inquisition; no land, no title. A young woman like her deserved at least that even though she had proven to be different than most.  
  
"Our friends, who are coincidentally the Inner Circle of the Inquisition, thinking that I'm keeping things from them bothers me. The possibility of our recruits and soldiers seeing me in such a vulnerable position bothers me. Do you realize how difficult it is for a woman in my position to gain the respect of men? If there were any semblance of truth to what they're saying it wouldn't be so -"  
  
Cullen moved fast, cutting her off as he brought a hand to the back of her neck and leaned down to close the distance between them, catching her off guard and leaving her stunned. She was so small against him, her soft lips tasted like fruit and the rush he felt cut through his migraine which caused him to groan and deepen the kiss. It was wrong, inappropriate, and she would no doubt retaliate against him but at the same time he couldn't have cared less. Not a second later he heard a low groan and felt her lips start to move against his.  
  
In the seconds, or maybe even minutes, after she relented she was caught between him and the stone wall of his office. One hand still rested on the back of her neck while the other found the curve of her hip. Her mind was racing, her heart beating even faster as she tried to think of that to do. He shouldn't be kissing her and she shouldn't feel that rush of adrenaline currently coursing through her body. The kiss felt amazing and he tasted of mint and honey. She needed to stop. All of it needed to stop.  
  
"Then let there be truth to it." He finally murmured when he pulled away. Their breathing was labored, uneven, and her mind was in a haze. He kissed her again before she could reply wanting, needing it to last and he knew the very moment she saw clarity because before he could brace himself he was pushed halfway across the room while she moved away from the wall and toward the closed door. Her breathing, like his, remained uneven and her cheeks were flushed, matching the color of her hair. Cullen prepared himself for her harsh eloquent words or one of her daggers to his throat but it never came. Instead she just looked confused. What he didn't know was that he just took her first kiss. _Of course it had to be him_ , Raven ground out to herself.  
  
"I'm going to assume that's out of your system." Her words broke the long stretch of silence between them. "That cannot and will not happen again." Cullen brought a hand to the back of his neck. His mind was still racing, his body hot under the armor he was wearing.  
  
"You didn't seem to mind it much." He knew his retort was unjust, arrogant, and a mistake the moment it left his mouth. Why was it she who seemed to bring out the harsh words in him? Nearly every time a conversation between them went past small and simple pleasantries he was the one to lose control while she replied with a calm demeanor and cruel, cutting words.   
  
"I'm also going to assume that you're grumpy from the lack of sleep and lyrium withdrawal but that's beside the point," She continued quietly no longer wanting to look at him, "what I wanted to say when I came in here is that you're a good man, but given our positions within the Inquisition and everything going on in our personal lives it would be inappropriate to entertain a notion that something... That something could ever happen between us."  
  
She left without another word. His migraine from before was back with a vengeance as it felt like a shield bashed against his skull. In the back of his mind her words made sense but he didn't want to accept it. He wouldn't allow her to close herself off like what he did as a young Templar in the Ferelden Circle; he cared so much for Solona but his duty came first so despite the infatuation he had with her he kept it inside. She died not long after and he'd always regretted not telling her. He didn't want to regret not telling Raven as well. 

 

It wasn't until sunset that Raven made an appearance at the 'Herald's Rest' for something to eat. After the events involving Cullen she spent a few hours sitting on the fence of the sparring ring critiquing the techniques the recruits and soldiers used against one another. Christopher had appeared a while later with Cassandra and asked if she'd be open to testing Cole to see if he would be fit for coming out in the field with them. She knew he was but happily obliged. Two hours were spent sparring with him. It quickly turned into a spectator sport with many of the soldiers, recruits, and even some nobles from Ferelden and Orlais watching. 

Cole was fast, nearly as fast as she. He'd also definitely made more contact than anyone else in Haven and Skyhold had since she started training and she knew she would be covered in bruises later. It was a draw in the end and she was happy to see the smile Christopher gave them both, deeming Cole more than acceptable to bring out into the field. She also made a mental note to send a letter to Delphine and her brother regarding the corset she was still wearing. She needed more like it. Cole was beside himself when he saw her arms already starting to bruise, her compliments and reassurances fell on deaf ears and he disappeared. She hadn't seen him since but knew he was most likely with Varric or Solas. 

"Hey Ginger!" Varric yelled, his voice standing out over the already noisy crowd. Raven smiled when she saw he'd already gotten a table and with him was Bull, a very despondent looking Cole, and Sera. With a type of grace they assumed only she could manage Raven made her way through the crowded tavern, catching the attention of one of the barmaids and signaling for a drink before she took her seat next to Cole. He looked at her with wide eyes as she took his hat, pulled the tie from her hair and let it fall down her shoulders to her waist before putting it on. She stuck her tongue out at him and turned to thank the woman who quietly set down a hot teacup in front of her. Bull shorted when she was gone.

"Only you would come to a bar and order tea." He commented while Raven shrugged and took a sip; it was a chamomile blend with honey and Raven already felt herself starting to relax. Sera let out an inebriated giggle. Instead of responding she looked back at Cole and gave him another smile. His eyes flashed down to the bruises on her arms. 

"You did good today Cole. I'd be mad if you didn't come at me with all you had." She told him quietly.

"The daggers go where they are needed. Protecting, hurting, trying to help. You smiled even though I hurt you. No one has ever done that before. I'm sorry." His voice was quiet but he was close enough for Raven to hear him. Maybe someday he would understand but for now all she was able to do was put her small hand over his larger one. It didn't last long, she didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but it lasted long enough to make him feel better about earlier. That was what mattered. Giving him one last smile she turned her attention to her other friends. 

"So Varric told me you had fun in Val Royeaux," Bull was the first to speak and she nodded in response, "and that you also bought corsets. Is this one of them?" He asked. Raven rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair, stretching to bring her boot clad feet up to rest on his knees. 

"Yes and if you'd like to see how amazing it is I'll be wearing one during training tomorrow." She replied and earned a confused look from the men in front of her. "It's a more functional corset that's surprisingly sturdy and easy to move in. If you're not with one of the kitchen girls or barmaids you're welcome to get up early and observe." Bull was silent as he contemplated her offer. In the end he accepted the invitation claiming he wanted to see her command skills. It was possible enough to believe even though she didn't and Raven wouldn't have said anything else if it weren't for Cole.

"But, The Iron Bull," Cole innocently protested, "The way she looks in tight pants has nothing to do with how she trains the recruits." His response caused her and Varric to laugh as he remained unaware to what was funny. Bull threw the boy a look but laughed anyway. Not that he'd ever stop suggesting it but it was made clear long ago that she was one redhead he would never get the pleasure to have. He didn't mind, he got a great friend in return.

"In that case I'll wear my tight ripped up jeans while we're at it." She finally retorted. The hat was angled enough so Bull could see her face under the large hat she wore. Something had happened, Bull could see it in her eyes and a large part of him wanted to demand to know what and whose ass he had to kick but he'd worry about that later. She was genuinely happy at the moment sitting with them and drinking her tea. 

"Your favorite pair. Matthew bought them for you years ago. Even though they're ripped you'll always keep them. Do they make you train better?" Cole continued with the innocent questions much to Sera's annoyance. Bull chuckled while Varric and Raven continued to laugh.

"They make a good distraction." She finally explained to the young spirit, "Some men, like Bull, get distracted easily when certain assets are flaunted. Dammit Varric, as his adopted father you're supposed to explain this type of stuff to him!" 

"Assets like red hair, tattoos, wide eyes as you look up at him. He likes that you're dangerous; jumping, ducking, twisting, catching them off guard as you bring them to their knees. That Templar with the large shield, you were there one moment then disappeared and suddenly he's still, groaning, gasping, choking on his own blood. You feel it run down your fingers, warm and wet as you twist your dagger further into his neck."

"Wow Bull, if I knew that's how you felt about me..." Raven chuckled in response to Cole's words. 

"You know I like things that can do as much damage as I can." He retorted and took a large gulp of his drink, emptying it just in time as the barmaid brought refills. She served Bull first, then Varric, Sera, and lastly Raven. Her eyes didn't once meet Cole's and he had to wonder if she could even see him sitting across from him. 

"Maybe that's why Curly watches the morning training sessions," Varric suggested and waited for any reaction from Ginger. She hadn't been in Curly's office long. Varric and Bull weren't disappointed; something changed in her eyes but it was gone as quick as it had come. 

"Definitely wouldn't surprise me. Now, my skinny pale ass and Cullen's creepy lechery aside, I'm really hungry." She announced and as Raven looked over the menu, talking to Cole in the process Varric looked up at met Bull's gaze. They weren't going to get anything out of her anytime soon, that much was clear. With any luck Cole would let something slip in the time to come. Bull hoped it would be soon; if he had to kick Cullen's ass he'd prefer to do it before he was drunk.


	16. Gaining Popularity

In the days after the surprising and slightly unwanted kiss between her and Cullen Raven was back to training, both as the teacher and the student. When she wasn’t training she did her best to discreetly avoid spending as much time with Cullen as possible which seemed to go unnoticed by all except Varric and Bull. Even  though they both knew it wise not to comment or question her about it, it didn’t stop them from asking Cole who remained surprisingly quiet about what happened. Adopted father and friend or not it seemed obvious that his loyalty belonged to her.  
  
Christopher left later that week for the Fallow Mire with Blackwall, Cassandra, Solas, and Sera. Raven didn’t envy them but before they left she took the time to draw out pages of tiny maps and write down things that would need to be done, where different items were, and who they needed to talk to and recruit; first for the Fallow Mire and then for Crestwood. When she was done she presented the information to Solas who looked over it all in awe. Knowing others were above he motioned to the papers and then to himself in which she nodded and brought a finger to her lips. Just because he knew didn’t mean others needed to know as well. Except Varric and Cole but that couldn't be helped.  
  
Eventually days turned to a couple weeks. Christopher and his group were still gone but had sent word every few days. The Marques and Countess had stayed true to their words and sent letters requesting her presence for a lunch or afternoon tea. She had joined the Marques at his home in Val Royeaux where they spoke in length about the mages and Templars, what happened at the Conclave, and himself. Only after did he want to know more about her since word apparently traveled fast about her skill in combat. By the end of that interesting visit he was eating out of the palm of her hand and even presented her with a golden dove pendant. 'Grace' and 'Devotion' is what he claimed it meant and what he saw in her. It was too flashy in Raven’s opinion but that didn’t keep her from smiling and wearing it in his presence.  
  
The Countess was a different story altogether. She’d come to Skyhold with a gaggle of other Orlesian noblewomen; a Duchess was even included. Josephine had thought ahead of time and had a large covered table set up in the garden for tea, delicious finger sandwiches, and a fruit salad. Between fashion and what she needed to know about other men and women of Orlais they spoke of possibilities for the next Divine, the faux pas of other nobles, rumors, and the war between Empress Celene and Duke Gaspard. All seemed loyal to Celene's claim and cause. After their talks every day, every night Raven wrote reports for Leliana. The day they all had left, the Duchess even requesting that she come back with them, Raven all but cried in relief.  
  
“Ginger you’re going to push yourself too hard one of these days.” Varric commented as he eyed her from across the table. For the first time in a week her hair was undone, face clean of makeup, and she was back in what she deemed her ‘comfy clothes’. She was slouched in the seat with a larger than normal cup of tea in front of her. Mint chamomile and honey, courtesy of Josephine. Cole and Bull sat at the ends of the table. She smiled at him and stretched again.  
  
“I don’t see that happening. Obnoxious clucking hens aside I like doing this. I missed you guys though.” She commented and then smiled at her friend. They were currently in the main hall, a change for Bull who normally spent his nights in the tavern but he’d missed the girl as much as Varric and was willing to give up a night of drinking with the Chargers to see her. In his opinion, Varric was right. She’d certainly been keeping busy and by the way she avoided words and all other types of contact with Cullen Bull knew she was using it all as a distraction, even if she refused to acknowledge it herself.  
  
“Running, racing, needing to stay away. He's watching me, I can feel it. I Can't, I won't think about it. It's all he thinks about, soft lips on mine tasting like fruit, skin against skin, 'Maker please have her come back.' I just want to see her smile again." Cole murmured quietly. If it were the tavern his words would've gone unnoticed but they were in the main hall instead. It was quiet and they all turned toward him. Raven felt her body go numb as she stared at her friend. He was looking down, his hat covering possible wide pale blue eyes. Well, she thought, it was something she was going to tell her friends anyway when she'd had time to figure it out. No one ever claimed to want to be with her before, wasn't that what he said? 'Let there be truth to it.'  
  
"So is there something you want to tell us?" Bull's voice pulled her attention from Cole and she merely shrugged in response.  
  
"There's really nothing to tell anymore. A month ago Cullen kissed me and I rejected him." She explained and her lack of emotion threw everyone but Cole off guard. Aside from the actual spirit of compassion Raven was the one who seemed to care about anything and anyone, always going out of her way to help. To hear a simple, matter-of-fact response from her, especially about what had happened, was disconcerting and Bull really didn't like it.  
  
"You rejected Curly?" Varric exclaimed a little too loudly for Raven's liking, "There goes the idea for my next book. Any chance you'd let me get away with writing it anyway?" Raven stared at the dwarf incredulously, not sure if we was being serious. She really hoped he wasn't.  
  
"Not on your life." She finally replied. A story about a romance between she and Cullen, true or not, was the last thing that needed to be going around Skyhold or anywhere else in Thedas.   
  
"Come on Ginger. I'll change the names." Varric tried to compromise and it caused Cole to smile. He liked seeing them interact with each other, it made them both happy.  
  
"You'll have to do a lot more than change the names Tethras. You'll also have to change the appearances, events, and overall plot." Raven retorted and smirked at the horrified look the dwarf gave her.  
  
"But then it's a completely different story!" Varric complained and couldn’t help but admire the way she repositioned herself in the chair across from him and crossed her legs.  
  
“Why do you want to write about me anyway?” She asked with a playful smirk and he knew that even if he told her she would never understand. He’d been around a long time and knew a story when he saw it. Everything about Raven was a story. Everything she had done since she arrived deserved to be told and yes, she deserved that type of romance in the stories she’d shared with him back at Haven. She wouldn’t have written about it with such passion if it were something she didn’t believe in or want and Varric truly thought Curly would be the one with the way they were toward one another. “Why don’t you write about Bull and all his extracurricular activities?” Bull glanced down at the relaxed redhead and then Varric.  
  
“Don’t you dare.” Varric laughed at the large mans words.  
  
“No worries there Tiny. There isn’t enough paper or ink in this world to write about all your exploits.” Bull opened his mouth to say something but then shut it when Raven laughed and stood up. They watched her stretch while holding back a yawn. She was exhausted.  
  
“Cole, would you escort me back to my room?” She asked and he looked up at her. _'What nearly any man in Skyhold would give to have her request that of them'_ , Bull thought with a smirk. When Cole nodded and stood up she said quick goodbyes to Varric and Bull before leaving the main hall with the spirit following behind her. It was a few minutes after they’d left when Varric broke the silence.  
  
“She’s fond of him.” The dwarf commented as he took out an ink bottle, quill, and paper. Bull sat back in the chair and crossed his arms while thinking back to all the times he’d seen them together. She wasn’t scared of him like many others, she talked to him like a person and included him in conversations and parts of her everyday activities. Weird demon shit like the disappearing and mind reading aside Bull decided he sort of liked the bond Raven and Cole seemed to share. He wondered if it had crossed Varric’s mind, or anyone’s mind for that matter.  
  
“He seems pretty fond of her too.” Bull finally replied and caught a glimpse of the small smile that appeared on Varric’s face. “It’s good for the kid to have a friend like her. If you’re up for a drink later, you know where to find me.”  Varric didn’t reply as Bull stood up and made his way out of the main hall moments later.

  
  
Cole walked quietly beside Raven once they were out of the main hall. It was late and the moon wasn’t out, the only light guiding them were due to the sconces attached to the cold stone walls. She was quiet too; it wasn’t that she just didn’t talk but her mind was quieter than normal. With others it had to be hurt for him to hear but Raven didn’t have to hurt for him to hear her. Her thoughts, feelings, dreams… they were louder than the other people. If it was quiet tonight he knew she would sleep well.  
  
“Is Cullen alright?” Her words were nearly a whisper but he heard them. “What you said earlier, is that really true?” She stopped and looked at him. Now that everyone was gone and it would be harder to distract herself.  
  
"Thinking, wanting, watching to make sure you're alright even if it's hard now. He misses you, he misses your talks in the morning and seeing you look at him while watching the recruits training and smile. Are his wants not appropriate enough?" He asked and stopped when confusion was evident on Raven's face.  
  
"I don't understand what you mean."  
  
"Josephine said its inappropriate for me to be in your room. Inappropriate, she's barely dressed, anyone could take advantage, how can he not see it? I still don't understand. At the tower it happened often. Is it inappropriate because I - "  
  
"She meant it's inappropriate for any man to be in a young ladies room. Don't listen to her alright? You are my friend and I like when you come to see me no matter what time it is." With that explanation Raven turned and continued walking to her room. Cole felt himself smile as he moved to catch up with her.  
  
"What about Cullen's wants?" He asked when they were overlooking the garden. On the way back to her room Raven usually stopped to gaze over the stone wall to see the garden bathed in moonlight but now it was cloudy and dark. The torches were lit and gave some form of light but not enough to see the entire garden.  
  
"I can't blame him for what he wants. I don't understand it but I can't blame him and unfortunately I don't want the same things he does. What he feels for me I don't feel for him." She explained and Cole continued to look at her.  
  
"What do you want?" He asked her. Her thoughts were still muted, hard to hear. Cole wasn't sure if she was keeping him out, if she was it was something she had never done before.  
  
"I spent years thinking this world was just the setting for books and games yet somehow I'm here. For years I dreamed of this, of you and Bull and everyone else. I know what happens, I know where and what are in which locations. I want to be a part of it. It's been months and sometimes I'm still so overwhelmed." She spoke quietly and leaned her head against Cole's arm. He stared out at the darkness, her words replaying in his mind. He liked her words; they were simple, honest, heartfelt. She didn't want to hurt, didn't want to gain.  
  
"Would you go back?" He suddenly asked. After a while she shrugged and looked up at him.  
  
"Have a good night Cole." She replied and brought her arms up to give him a hug. She was tired, exhausted, and also eager to get back to her usual routine. It was a good thing, Cole thought as he watched her walk to her room. When the door was closed and the light of candles shone through the window he let himself wander back to the main hall where Varric sat, wondering how to persuade one of his best friends to be the subject of his new book. What he didn't know, and also what Cole wouldn't tell him, was that she wasn't completely opposed in the first place. She just liked to see what he would do.

  
  
A week later Christopher and his party returned to Skyhold with much more than they left with. The sun told that it was early in the afternoon and Raven was in the courtyard sparring with Patrick as other soldiers watched and cheered. She'd countered his moves with speed and grace but all was forgotten when she heard the horn blow, signaling their arrival. Christopher was the one she greeted first, wrapping her arms around the tall Mage in a friendly hug. Next was Cassandra and she enjoyed catching the Seeker off guard. Sera returned her hug with one of her own and a kiss on the cheek while Blackwall gave her an affectionate pat on the head. Solas was last and seemed to be even more caught off guard when Raven hugged him.  
  
"Did what I give you prove useful?" She asked quietly. When she pulled back the tall elf smiled and nodded.  
  
"I shared what you gave me with Christopher. Without it I fear that we wouldn't have done as well as we did against the Dragon in Crestwood." He replied in an equally quiet tone. They wouldn't have done as well in the Fallow Mire either but he was aware that she knew. "Are you free this evening?"  
  
"I have no plans for the day except to spar with my recruits. Did you have something in mind?"  
  
"Would you like to have dinner later, in your room after the meeting with Christopher and the other advisors? I'd love to entertain but sadly, where I stay isn't always private." He explained and smiled when she nodded.  
  
"Would seven be too late? I can have some something brought up from the kitchens." Solas had to admire her consideration even though his invitation had gained the attention from other companions, Sera in particular.  
  
"How come I don't get to have dinner with the pretty redhead?" The young elf all but pouted. Solas threw her a pointed glare, all traces from his previous expression gone.  
  
"Because I didn't invite you." He snapped and despite his now snarky attitude Raven giggled all while putting a calming hand on his shoulder and turning her head to see her mischievous little friend standing there with her hands on her hips.  
  
"Why don't we hang out tomorrow Sera, I have some fun ideas that I'd like to go over with you." Sera's eyes lit up and it seemed that everyone in the near vicinity nearly groaned.  
  
"Are you sure that's wise, da'len?" Solas asked once the younger elf had left toward the tavern with a large bag in her hands. No, it wasn't wise but she was looking forward to it anyway. With a simple shrug she removed her hand from Solas's shoulder and made her way back to Christopher to see that in the short time she'd spent greeting her friends and talking to Solas and Sera the other advisors had arrived and we're now talking to him.  
  
"You didn't tell us anything about fighting a dragon, Your Worship." Josephine nearly scolded. Cullen looked a little taken back as well while Leliana stood silently at Josephine's side looking at Raven and then Cullen. She wondered if he had said anything to anyone about what happened between them.  
  
"I apologize for not doing so but we didn't have a choice. It was terrifying the people of Crestwood." Christopher argued, his voice more amused than annoyed. "Now should we take this meeting to the war room before we draw a crowd?" He asked and slowly the three other advisors nodded so together they started on their way to the war room.  
  
"Solas told me all went well?" Raven spoke on their way. Christopher nodded and smiled at her.  
  
"Very. We also managed to get the few things you needed as well. I can drop them off later if you wish." He offered and Raven nodded much to the confusion of the others. He was talking about the tokens Raven would need to specialize as an assassin. Cole had given her his book a couple weeks ago. All she needed was deathroot which she would hopefully be able to get herself if she was allowed to travel with Christopher to the Western Approach.  
  
"Thanks. What do I owe you for them?" She asked and Christopher stopped at the entrance of the main hall to look at her.  
  
"After all the information you gave us can we call it a trade?" He asked with a charming smile and Raven nodded. He knew how she worked and was honestly the best compromise.  
  
  
It had been a long time since Raven last found herself in the war room. It was much bigger than Haven, brighter too as sun shone through the many tall windows facing west. The table was larger too with larger more elaborate maps of Ferelden and Orlais. Pawns, big and small, were placed over cities and objectives while unused pieces littered the free space around the maps.  
  
"So now that we're not outside would you like to explain to us how you fought a dragon? Is that what took you an extra week?" Josephine asked as she walked to the table and picked up her writing board. Raven took her usual spot against the wall by the door. Cullen and Leliana made their way to the table out of habit bit was where they normally were.  
  
"We were there an extra week helping the people of Crestwood, closing rifts, and meeting with Hawke and Stroud. The dragon was just a coincidence." Christopher replied.  
  
"And what part did you play Raven? What information did you give him?" Cullen asked and her eyes shot up to see him staring at her. It was the first time in weeks they'd talked. His exhausted and grumpy appearance aside his tone wasn't angry.  
  
"We got to talking about dragons one night before he left and I told him a few things I read in a book. I didn't know the information would actually be useful, especially with how rare dragons seem to be." The lie slid off her tongue much easier than she felt comfortable with.  
  
"And what did you ask him to get you?" Cullen questioned and it reminded her of when she was first brought to Haven. She didn't like it.  
  
"Since she wasn't allowed to go with she asked me to get her the tokens from assassin leaders." Christopher spoke for her and he almost seemed angry, "Now if you're done questioning her can we move on to more important matters?" When Cullen looked away Raven mouthed a 'thank you' to her friend.  
  
"I've read the reports you've sent us. If what Warden Stroud says is true then we have a serious problem." Leliana spoke up, "I've already sent a letter to a former Warden friend of mine to see if he's experiencing the same effects as the others.  
  
"Stroud says the Wardens are in the Western Approach. He and Hawke have started toward the location already. When can we send Harding and some troops?" Christopher asked.  
  
"I spoke to Harding the other day while she was replenishing her supplies. She's ready to head out once we give the word." Raven spoke up from behind him, "Shall I let her know so she and her men can head out in the morning?" Christopher looked back at her and smiled.  
  
"That would be appreciated. Josephine I want Raven with me on this expedition. How are her lessons coming?" He asked while turning to her teachers. They looked surprised, even Leliana. With the exception of the incident with Cullen and not speaking to him she'd been excelling in her lessons.  
  
"Your Worship she's had seven luncheon invitations and has been invited to Madame Cirella's salon next month." The Antivan protested and Raven could feel the surprise on her face. Those invitations were news to her.  
  
"Then we'll head out later this week and get as much done before then. If we're not done by the time her appointments arrive I'll send her back." Wow, Raven thought as she smirked at Christopher. Josephine wasn't going to win.  
  
"I'll continue to study Josephine and we can arrange all these lunch dates to happen in Val Royeaux. I can stay there for however long is needed. Besides, I need more dresses since the season will be changing soon." Raven spoke softly and chose the words Josephine would want to hear. She liked Val Royeaux and it seemed to be a better option than keeping her locked away at Skyhold.  
  
"I think it's best that she stays here to continue with her training and training the recruits." Cullen argued from across the room and Raven glared at him. Of course he would be the one to object, that petty bastard.  
  
"I did what I needed to do with those recruits Cullen. You wanted me to teach them how to counter my styles of combat. I've done that. I've also been going over battle strategies with Bull and have read every book in the library pertaining to the topic." The small girl countered and tension in the room seemed to grow immensely in the fifteen seconds of silence that followed her argument.  
  
"It's still not wise - " His tone was as if he was speaking to a child when he went to argue back but Raven stepped forward, closing some of the space between them before he could get out another word. His eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"You do not get to treat me like a child." She said in an eerily low voice. A large, cold hand gently grasping her shoulder brought her attention back to Christopher. He was confused and looked worried.  
  
"Then stop acting like a child Raven." Cullen nearly shouted and she reacted so quickly in freeing herself from Christopher's hold.  
  
"How am I acting like a child? I have done everything asked of me and have met all the terms and conditions we discussed in this very room the night I accepted the offer to become an advisor to the Inquisition." Raven's voice didn't waver or rise as she spoke the truth to Cullen. She knew it wasn't about her position or what she'd done for the Inquisition, it wasn't about her age, and it wasn't about her lack of armor, her future appointments, or his claim that she was acting like a child.  
  
"You're trying to run from your responsibilities!" He accused and instead of slapping the tall, well built, armor-clad bastard like she wanted Raven clenched her fists and let her nails dig into the palms of her hands.  
  
"Cullen that's enough!" It was Leliana who spoke. Cullen's gaze from Raven didn't linger, "Helping the Inquisition is her responsibility and that's what she's doing. Don't let past events get in the way of her helping Christopher." Raven stood there quietly as Leliana eloquently called the Commander out on his pettiness. She wasn't sure if the Spymaster was referring to the kiss incident or from one of the many arguments before that. She and Cullen fought a lot, Raven realized, so much it seemed almost crazy that he'd kissed her.  
  
"I thought they were over what happened at the refugee camp. What fight did they get into now?" Josephine asked not bothering to hide the exasperation in her voice, sounding almost like how a parent would while discussing two fighting siblings. Raven looked at Leliana in time to see her smile. She knew.   
  
"The day after you, Dorian, and I came back from Val Royeaux I declined to entertain the notion of a romantic relationship with Commander Cullen after he kissed me. We haven't spoken since." Raven answered quietly and the only response she received from anyone in the room was a gasp from Josephine. Raven pulled out the hair tie that held the simple pony tail. Her hair came down in a thick red wall that hid the pink tinge rising to her cheeks.  
Unfortunately Cullen wasn't so lucky as he stood there, bright red with a hand to the back of his neck as Christopher and Josephine stared at him.  
  
"So moving past any awkwardness and pettiness," Leliana was the one to speak, "Raven I'll compile a list of contacts for you to meet in the Western Approach and Josie will arrange your appointments to be in Val Roueaux." Leave it to her to help throw a damned bowling ball onto thin ice and then act like nothing happened. Raven had to admire the woman's tenacity.  
  
"Ah... Yes and I'll update you with the information. Your Worship, I'll need a list of your companions for this trip." Josephine continued and with that request their meeting for the day had been adjourned.

  
  
It was around seven when Raven heard a knock on her bedroom door. Like last time she'd gone to the kitchens and ordered something to be brought up which was currently covered on her table with a pitcher of water and two glasses, what she called glasses anyway. Crystal goblets sounded funny. She opened the door with a smile to see Solas standing there with a bundle in his arms.  
  
"For you." He said kindly and held the bundle out to her. It was heavy as she took it and moved out of the way so he could come in.  
  
"Thank you." She replied and with the door closed behind them he made his way over to the table and sat in the chair he'd used before. He seemed to be in a good mood. She sat down across from him and set the bundle out on the table between them. He watched, amused, as she unwrapped the cloth. Inside were the three assassin tokens, a large collection of what looked like veridium judging from the green color as well as an assortment of other metals, leather, and cloth. A folded up piece of paper was on top of the pile. When unfolded she saw it a schematic for a dagger. 'Ribsplitter' was written at the top. She was very familiar with that particular dagger having crafted multiple every time she played a rogue.  
  
"I found this in a chest and thought you would appreciate it since you've been studying to become an assassin. The green stone, I'm sure you already know, is veil quartz. I managed to pull it out of the fade." He spoke as she looked over the materials in awe. The only time she saw veil quartz was in the downloadable content of the game. Was it really possible to just _pull_ things out of the fade?, "I was going to have them crafted for you but I was unsure if you wanted to add a rune or even use the base materials I'd chosen." Raven stared at him as he continued to talk like what he'd just presented her with was an everyday occurance. Was this how others felt when she did the same thing, she wondered. He watched her with a smile as she moved the items over to her dresser and came back to the table.  
  
"Thank you Solas... Unfortunately I don't know what else to say. Please, is there anything I can give you in return for this?" She asked and stared at him as he chuckled, brought the plates closer and uncovered them. She poured them both water.  
  
"I wish for nothing in return da'len. You've done more than enough by giving me access to information I never thought possible. Christopher tells me we will be leaving in a week for the Western Approach and that you will be joining us." She nodded in confirmation as he took a bite of the seasoned chicken.  
  
"It took some carefully chosen words, screaming, and a couple awkward silences but yes, I will be coming along. Did he say who else is coming?" Solas took a sip of water before nodding.  
  
"I believe it will consist of you and I, Iron Bull, Cassandra, Cole, and himself. What is your opinion?" He asked when he noticed the thoughtful expression on her face. Had he ever traveled with six before? Raven wasn't sure if she'd get used to that change.  
  
"Two mages - one damage and one healing, two warriors, and two duel wielding rogues. At least no one can say he isn't prepared. Why not bring Sera instead of Cole? He'd have more ranged damage that way." She found herself asking, not at all bothered by who her traveling companions would be. Solas let out a laugh, probably louder than he expected by the way he brought a hand up to cover his mouth.  
  
"Cole is very impressive in combat. I saw him back at Haven the night it was attacked and when he sparred against you in the courtyard. I've also seen you with a bow and say I'd feel more than comfortable if you decided to use one regularly. Besides, can you honestly picture Sera in the hot desert?" He replied and Raven chuckled. Back home when she played Sera the tiny elf was miserable in the desert areas, she didn't need to see it in real life.  
  
"In my opinion I believe Christopher chose well with the party composition. We've all traveled together at least once and are familiar with each other's styles of combat and how to utilize them. Are you excited to go? I know of a couple areas that could lead to some interesting dreams and memories." She suggested and enjoyed the look Solas gave her, "There are places to set up camp near each one as well so there should be plenty of opportunities." Now she was the one talking to him like her suggestions weren't a big deal.  
  
"Fascinating," Solas exclaimed as he smiled at her, "it's still so strange, almost hard to believe, that you know all of this." Raven shrugged. She supposed it would be a big deal to him and others but it was mostly just game trivia to her with some minor differences. Things she'd seen, things she'd read over, and things she'd done dozens of times.  
  
"And I'll continue using that knowledge. Is there anything you want to know while we are on this topic?" She asked.  
  
"There are always things I want to know but it would be best if I didn't know them." Solas replied and took another bite of his food. Raven picked at hers, hardly hungry after the meeting earlier. It didn't go unnoticed by her dinner companion. "You mentioned screaming earlier. Is everything alright?"  
  
"Cullen doesn't want me going to the Western Approach." She finally told him. Solas nearly scoffed.  
  
"That doesn't surprise me after what happened. Varric told me." He explained when she opened her mouth to ask how he knew, "What we're his well thought out objections to try and keep you here?"  
  
"That I am failing in my duties, acting like a child, and running away from responsibility. I honestly wanted to punch him." She exclaimed and he laughed again.  
  
"I imagine his accusations didn't get far." She shook her head at his comment.  
  
"Leliana stepped in and called him out on his petty behavior, Christopher and Josephine now know what happened, and now I'm coming along. There might be a week where I have to be in Val Royeaux though. Josephine will let me know." The conversation between them didn't wane until well after sunset. They talked about her training, entertaining the nobility of Orlais, and everything that had happened in Crestwood and the Fallow Mire. When Raven finally had to hold back a yawn Solas was the one to apologize for keeping her up late. He was undoubtedly tired as well but enjoyed talking to her enough to stay a while longer. It was brighter than it had been the night before and as Solas took a moment to admire the way the moon fell over the distant mountains he was caught off guard when the small girl to his side pulled him into a hug all while thanking him again for his gifts. She deserved them but her gratitude was touching. When he finally left and Raven was back in her room she wasted no time stripping and curling up in her large quilt. The next few days would be interesting and much busier than usual. She almost couldn't wait to leave.

 

 The next morning Raven was up, out of bed, and dressed earlier than normal. She could only guess by the moons position that it was between five and six in the morning as she made her way into the main hall and undercroft with the heavy bundle in her hands. Harritt was up and manning the forge when she came in and rushed to take the bundle from her. When it was opened and the schematic was presented the blacksmith wasted no time talking about crafting. As they were talking Dagna came forward and looked over all the materials Solas had given to her. 

"These are all really uncommon materials. What is this and how did you get them?" Dagna asked as she held up a piece of veil quartz. Raven shrugged and along with Harritt came forward.

"The green metal is called veil quartz. Solas gave me the bundle as a gift. I thought the other ones were regular materials like drakestone, ram leather, and darkened samite." She replied and now was also curious. Harrit looked at her and shook his head. 

"The darkened samite part is right but that dark red stuff is bloodstone, these are wyvern scales, and  _this_ ," He said holding up two pieces of darker pink metal, " _this_ is fade-touched dawnstone and is supposed to help heal over time. I don't know how he managed to get all this but it's pretty clear he's confident in your abilities to give this to you." He explained and suddenly Raven felt foolish that she didn't recognize the materials last night. She had to give him something in return, there was no doubt. 

"Can we work with all this?" She asked and both Harritt and Dagna nodded. 

By the time she left the undercroft the sun was starting to rise and Harritt had begun working on her new weapons. Solas had gathered a little more material needed but she used most of it for a matching set of daggers . Even though the veil quartz was green the fade-touched dawnstone was a Masterwork item and made the blades pink which she enjoyed wholeheartedly. The darkened samite, bloodstone, and wyvern scales were used for the hilt which Harritt said he would be able to dye black for her. Dagna suggested putting a corrupting rune in each dagger once they were crafted. Before she called it a day Raven also comissioned another set of daggers for Cole, though instead of being made from veil quartz she chose stormheart from the chest of materials they had brought back from Crestwood, darkened smite, drakestone, and bear hide. The two great bear claws remaining in the chest would also be used. If he was really coming with them to the Western Approach he had to be equipped like the rest of them would be, those simple stiletto daggers wouldn't hold up. His armor wouldn't either and she requested that Harritt talk to Christopher about it later in the day.

When she got to the training grounds her recruits were all lined up with their hands behind their backs. Failing my ass, she thought. As she took stance she saw Cullen watching her from the battlements, another thorn she'd have to deal with and she half expected him to come down and make an ass out of himself like he had yesterday. He didn't, instead once her lesson had started he'd gone back into his office. He was there when she opened the office door two hours later, patting her skin with a towel because even though they were in the mountains it was still possible to sweat. She almost felt bad for the recruits in full plate. Cullen sat at his desk going over reports; either he didn't hear his office door open or he had decided to ignore her. She could see it going both ways. 

"You were a real ass yesterday." She commented and saw his gloved hand clench, "And trying to keep me here won't work." 

"I'd hoped we'd be able to talk about what happened before you ran off." He replied calmly as he looked up to see her standing there dressed in a pair of loose black pants and one of the new corsets that tailor from Val Royeaux had made for her. It was purple and Cullen found that he loved the way it paired with her pale skin and red hair. He doubted she did it on purpose, doubted she knew the effect it had on him or any man and he supposed he couldn't blame her for it but nevertheless it annoyed him. 

"I'm not running off or abandoning my responsibility and to be quite honest I'm pissed that you think I am. If you really wanted to talk then why didn't you come to me in the six weeks after - after you..." Cullen stood up but didn't move any closer to her. He wasn't sure what he felt in that moment; anger, embarrassment, hurt, longing. Whatever he felt he absolutely despised it _and her_ for making him feel the way he did. 

"After I kissed you." He managed to finish for her, "After I told you that I wanted to be with you." To Raven's credit she didn't look away even though she wanted to. She kept her head straight with her eyes locked on him. From where he stood he could see that she was, in no way, relaxed and ready to bolt through the door she'd left open if something unexpected were to happen. It wouldn't, she wouldn't need to run from him in any other way than she already had been.  

"I'm sorry that I don't feel the way you do Cullen. I care about you but I'm not going to pretend that what I feel for you is romantic, intimate, or in anyway more than friendship. If you can't or don't want to deal with that among everything else going on in your life then I'll talk to Leliana and Josephine about cutting down any lessons or situations that require us to spend time together." She suggested and truly couldn't believe she was suggesting it to him of all people but it was the only thing she could think of. With his obsession over Samson and dealing with the effects from not taking lyrium he didn't need any extra stress or problems. Cullen remained silent, trying to figure out the right words to say. He'd accepted that she didn't want a relationship with him. What made him angry was that she avoided him for the last six weeks, not coming to his office in the morning and going over combat strategies like they used to or occasionally eating lunch together after training. He was angry at himself for letting it happen as well, it wasn't all her fault and he realized that they both had no idea what to do.  

"You don't have to apologize and I wouldn't expect you to pretend you want something that you don't." He finally spoke, "We stopped a good, productive routine over a lapse in judgement on my part." His admission caught her off guard, it wasn't what she was expecting to hear. "You don't have to say anything and I know you're busy but when you get back why don't we play a game of chess?" He asked while half expecting her to decline. Instead she smiled and nodded. 

"Chess sounds like a good idea. Until then, have a good day Commander." She bid her farewell with an over exaggerated, graceful movement and a smile as she walked out of his office in the direction of the Elven apostate's office and the library. She knew Cullen continued to stare at her as she descended the few steps and made her way to the heavy wooden door. Solas was on the scaffolding with a palette of paint and a selection of brushes. When he heard that particular door open and close he expected it to be the Commander in his ever stern state. Instead he smiled when he heard Raven humming and looked down at her to see her looking up at him. 

"Good morning Raven. Did you sleep well?" He asked as he looked back and continued to pain the wall in front of him. 

"I slept very well and had a surprisingly early morning. Did you know that fade-touched dawnstone helps heal damage in battle?" She asked and Solas felt his smile grow. When he looked back at her she was no longer standing, instead she was sitting in the chair normally at his desk. It had been moved so she could watch him paint and talk to him. Her smile didn't seem to waver and amusement flooded her tone.

"I believe I read that somewhere. It also changes the color of weapons and armor pink when used, if I remember correctly." He replied while feeling proud of his accomplishment. From his journeys all over Thedas and the Fade he'd gathered many materials to study but very seldom ever used them. That schematic was found by pure chance at the bottom of a chest in the cellar of Caer Bronach and Solas knew that she would have a greater use for the metal, leather, and cloth he'd acquired than he ever would. She would appreciate the daggers made from them like she appreciated everything else, never taking them for granted like so many people did with everyday things. 

"I know you said you didn't want anything in return but I'll find something. The schematic is also going to be used to make some new daggers for Cole as well, I talked to Harritt and Dagna about it this morning." She told him and the elf found his smile growing even more. It was really all he could do to remain composed and seemingly dignified to anyone that would be watching or listening. 

"I'm pleased that you thought of that. If there's anything else you need please don't hesitate to come see me. We are friends after all." Solas encouraged as he brought the brush laced with red paint down onto the white wall. It would be finished soon enough and part of him couldn't wait for it.


	17. Dreams

The Western Approach was nothing but a desert wasteland full of sulfur pits, Venatori agents, and vicious wildlife. It was hot as the sun beat down on them but it was a dry heat where humidity didn't seem to exist and sand was absolutely everywhere. It reminded Raven of Arizona and while some members of her party might have complained Raven was ecstatic. The Western Approach was always her favorite place to go in the game and it hasn't seemed all that different now. She rode behind Bull, Christopher, and Cassandra. Solas and Cole stayed towards the back with her as she hummed to herself and observed her surroundings.  
  
"We should be close to the camp Scout Harding and the troops set up." Raven said loudly enough for the three in front of her to hear and went back to humming. It was her favorite song, Cole noted as he looked to his friend; he remembered it playing in her mind time after time as she sparred and trained. The rhythm and words were normally fast but now they were slower, calmer, matching how she felt. She wore long sleeved light armor and pants made from simple white and red cotton, the white reflected heat and also caused her skin to appear paler and her hair to stand out more than normal under the large hat she wore. It wasn't Cole's, a day before they left it was given to her by Josephine whose main concern seemed to be Raven becoming sunburned.  
  
"Yes, I can see the tracks." Cassandra replied while looking down at the path ahead of them.  
  
"Are you enjoying being away from Skyhold?" Solas asked grabbing Raven's attention. He smiled as she nodded and brought her hands away from the hart she was riding, raising them above her head in a long stretch. Doing nothing but riding under the hot sun was starting to relax her. She hoped they'd get to the camp soon where there were multiple fade rifts, coyotes, and caves full of giant spiders. That would wake her up.  
  
"I am." Her reply was light and sweet as she pulled off her hat, put it on one of the harts antlers and made quick work of retying her hair into a messy bun so it was bundled high instead at the back of her neck. Her fingers grazed over the hilt of one of her new daggers in the process and Solas caught the small smile that played on her lips. "Later on tonight we can head to one of the places I told you about." He nodded his reply and it was silent again.  
  
“Hey, Cole. Quick! What number am I thinking of?” Bull said from ahead of them. Raven glanced at Solas with a smile and mouthed the answer to him and then looked at Cole. He stared ahead at Bull.  
  
“Raw and hot, trying to open it, but just darkness. How bad, how bad? No, done now, no sense worrying. The man they hurt coughs, shaking, but sits up. Eyes wide. No, not a man, a woman, clothes torn. ‘You’re safe now. I’m Iron Bull. What do you want me to call you?’” He rambled and it caused Bull, Cassandra, and Christopher to look back at him. Bull looked annoyed and Raven had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing.  
  
“Twelve. The number I was thinking of was twelve.” He told him and turned back around while grumbling about demon interrogators. Slowly Christopher and Cassandra turned their eyes away from him. Raven reached out and put a hand on his shoulder and smiled when his eyes darted to hers from under his hat. She didn’t say anything, instead in a quick motion she moved her hand up to the large brim and in the next moment his hat was on her head while her hat was on his which earned her a sheepish smile.  
  
“So Raven,” It was Cassandra who spoke and Raven focused on the back of the Seeker, “Leliana tells me you’ve been spending a lot of time with some of the nobles of Orlais. Are you enjoying it?” She thought of Cassandra’s question and back to her time with the Marquis and the group of ladies she was to entertain.  
  
“Overall I suppose I can't complain. Sometimes it's tiring always having to be on guard and after a while even the most comfortable corset can hurt. I liked spending time with them though. The Marquis even gave me a golden pendant of a dove.” She answered while leaning forward on her hart to stretch her back. “I don’t wear it. It’s in my bag if you’d like to see it later.”  
  
“Why is it in your bag if you don’t wear it?” Cassandra asked.  
  
“He’s one of the people I’ll be seeing when I go to Val Royeaux in a couple weeks and it would be rude to not wear it when I’m with him.” Her reply was simple and even though the young girl couldn’t see it, Cassandra smiled.  
  
“Why don’t you wear it?” It was Solas that asked the question. Raven continued to lean down, her body against the hart as she stretched out her sore muscles but she smiled up at him.  
  
“It’s gaudy and the chain is long enough to get in the way of training and anything else I need to do. It was also given to show his wealth and as a token of affection. I like our lunches and the things we discuss but that’s as far as any affection on my part goes.” The redhead explained. Solas nodded in response to her answer. Of course she wouldn’t find any romantic interest in a wealthy Marquis whose primary focus would be money and status among his peers.  
  
"I suppose I can understand that." Cassandra replied, "Varric tells me you look like a doll when dressed up." Of course he would, Raven thought, and Bull laughed in response.  
  
"You'll have to see it sometime Seeker. Hair tied up and makeup done all while dressed in lacy corsets and skirts. Looked so delicate that I didn't even recognize her at first." Raven reached in her sack and retrieved the sack of grapes Cole had given her. Without waiting for him to go on she hardly had to aim to pelt him in the back of the head with enough force that the grape split. When he let out a curse and turned around she'd already put the sack back in her pouch and was lying stretched out on her hart again. "Very funny girl. I'll get you back later."  
  
Lazily she sat up and looked at him, "I have no idea what you mean." Solas chuckled at her reply as Bull faced forward.  
  
"He likes your games." Cole told her quietly, "he's already thinking of ways to get you back. He likes the thought of pushing you in water while you wear your clothes."  
  
"Bull!" Raven attempted to scold though no one could take her seriously with the smile on her face. He would think of something so perverted.  
  
"Damnit Cole!" Bull grumbled, "She didn't need to know that." Cole looked at her before turning his attention to Bull.  
  
"Why, The Iron Bull?" The young spirit asked him and Raven had to smile at his innocence.  
  
"Cole, do you remember the pranks Sera likes to play?" Raven asked, knowing he did. He'd asked her about them after a the day she and the small elf had spent together. As predicted Cole nodded, "it's like that. There are no mean feelings, Bull wouldn't do anything to hurt me. It's just fun."  
  
"How is The Iron Bull pushing you into water fun? He wants to see your..." Raven was aware of how red her cheeks had become but put a patient hand on his shoulder.  
  
"What his twisted and perverted little mind wants to see doesn't surprise me and if it means I get to take a nice swim in his heat then I call it a win-win." It did sound like an even trade in her opinion and though she was only joking Cassandra let out a derisive sigh that Raven chose to ignore, at least she didn't give it up for flowers, candles, and poetry.  
  
  
"Inquisitor! Welcome to the Western Approach." Scout Harding greeted Christopher as he dismounted his horse and made his way to her with Cassandra and Bull in tow. "We've sighted Warden activity to the southwest but no one's been close enough to figure out what they're doing. Between the sandstorms and the vicious wildlife we haven't made it far out here. One of my men got too close to a poison hot spring and gave me a slightly delirious report of a high dragon flying over head. In short, this might just be the worst place in the world. Be careful out there." Raven busied herself with tying the horses reins to the nearby tree and checking her bag to make sure she had everything. Solas and Cole did the same, staying close to her. She'd told them of the situation earlier. By the time they made their way over to the rest of the group in the center of camp Harding was walking away and Christopher had the paper Raven knew to be the orders from Servis.  
  
"So what's the plan?" Raven asked. Christopher looked up and handed her the paper which she barely skimmed before handing it off to Solas, "That doesn't explain what the plan is. Are we going after the Wardens, Venatori, or White Claws first?" While Cassandra nearly scowled, Christopher smiled.  
  
"I fail to understand why you don't take this seriously." The Seeker commented catching Raven's attention. Solas, Bull, and Christopher remained silent as the two women stared at one another.  
  
"Just because I'm not scowling all the time like you've been doesn't mean I don't take this seriously." The young redhead finally retorted while putting a hand on her hip. Cassandra scoffed.  
  
"Then why don't you give us your opinion on what needs to be done?" The Seekers comment caused Raven to let out a small chuckle. Maybe it was the heat, maybe it was Cassandra's condescending tone, Raven wasn't sure but she couldn't deny the annoyance she was suddenly feeling.  
  
"Alright Cassandra, if you insist. There are two rifts close to here we should take care of first. There's also a ruin that the Venatori are focusing on which we can take care of when we pass it on our way to the other parts of the Approach. Members of the White Claws are located in a few different places all over this desert which means they can be taken care of over time and the supplies they carry are research materials that belong to a very nice Orlesian man who is out here studying Dragons." By the end of her rant Raven realized her voice had gone up an octave and everyone was staring at her. "I thought you would've learned to trust me by now, especially after the Hinterlands, the attack on Haven, the Fallow Mire, and Crestwood. I guess I was wrong." She continued after composing herself with the help of Cole's gentle hand on her shoulder. Without another look at Cassandra she turned to Christopher.  
  
"As important as the Wardens are, if there are open rifts we need to take care of them. You're sure you know where they are?" Christopher asked and then chuckled when the small redhead threw him a look that screamed 'you're kidding right?'. "Then let's get on our way."  
  
  
True to her word Raven had led them to the first rift without a problem all while mining paragon's luster and farming elfroot along the way. When the time came to face the rage demons and terrors they all nearly just watched in awe as Raven and Cole utilized each other's position and movement for the most damaging effects. When it was over and the rift was sealed they all continued to watch as she complimented the spirit with a large smile before turning to Christopher and letting him know of the ocularum and three shards that were also in the area. As he gathered them she, Bull, and Cole took care of the soldiers by the large, unopening gate.  
  
By the end of the day, with Raven's unwavering guidance and enthusiasm they had closed three rifts in total, battled demons and unlocked the stop in time at the Still Ruins, fought countless animals, found more shards, found a sulfur pit Christopher would have Inquisition forces build a bridge across, gathered five crates of research supplies belonging the Orlesian Draconologist named Frederic, and found a second place to camp. They were all exhausted and sore as they sat around the fire for light and enjoyed their dinner, laughing about events of the day and old stories. Cassandra and Raven had still barely spoken but the animosity between them had died down considerably.  
  
"So it wasn't until he got out of the shower and looked into the mirror that he realized that patches of his skin were five times darker than normal. Stupid bastard blamed his brother first because apparently I would never do anything like that." Raven finished, causing nearly everyone around the fire to double over in laughter, even Solas had temporarily lost his semi stuffy personality. Cole, who was seated beside the small girl, smiled at everyone.  
  
"Did he ever get the dye off?" Christopher asked and Raven shrugged.  
  
"Took about three weeks. In that time he did manage to piss off his brother though so it wouldn't surprise me if he'd been secretly adding more dye to the shower gel." Raven explained through tears.  
  
"I can't believe you've been with us for this long and haven't shared things like this. Please tell me Sera doesn't know." Bull replied from across their little circle.  
  
"Like I would give her ideas? She's troublesome enough without my input. You know she actually contemplated on turning Cullen's hair blue and your armor pink." Raven pointed to Christopher as she replied, enjoying how his eyes widened and he seemed to visibly pale in the light of the fire.  
  
"She wouldn't..." Christopher stammered. Raven merely shrugged and stood up to stretch. It had been a long day and she promised to show Solas Lamarr Tower to the north. When she looked at the Elven Mage he stood up with his staff and bag in hand.  
  
"Luckily I convinced her to leave you alone. Not sure about Cullen... I guess we'll find out when we get back. Do you have everything Solas?" She asked. He smiled and gave her a quick nod. It had been a long time since he'd journeyed somewhere with the sole purpose of dreaming. He was glad she proposed the venture and excited for the possibilities. Solas wondered if Raven would be able to dream of any memories of events. Did she even dream? He'd never been able to find her in the Fade; maybe she was like a dwarf and had no connection to it. He would ask her when they were away from the others.  
  
"I still see no reason why you two need to sleep together somewhere else. Surely Solas is able to go on his own." Raven rolled her eyes at Cassandra's comment. Why did she always have to be so negative and a pain in the ass? Maybe Christopher needed help finding candles or that stupid book of poetry.  
  
"That is precisely why you are not allowed to come with us." The younger girl retorted. Instead of waiting for another comment she turned to Cole, he didn't sleep but was to share a tent with Bull who snored louder than anyone she'd ever met. He remained seated but smiled up at her, still wearing her hat from Josephine that she'd switched on him earlier.  
  
"You are welcome to come with us. If you prefer to stay here you can use my tent and I will see you in the morning." Cole nodded, thinking over her words and the way the fire made her eyes shine under his hat. He liked traveling with her and Solas, liked hearing and seeing their dreams. Unlike the others Raven and Solas never seemed to mind that he could see, feel, and hear what others couldn't so when she turned to leave with his Elven friend Cole bid a short farewell to Christopher, Cassandra, and The Iron Bull and stood up to follow them. They were only a short way from camp when Solas spoke.  
  
"Do you dream, Raven?" He asked and caught the small girl by surprise. As much as Solas loved dreaming and the Fade he'd never asked her about her dreams before. Instead of looking at him she kept scanning the area for coyotes and quillbacks.  
  
"Of course I dream. That's a silly question." She finally replied.  
  
"I didn't mean to come off too forward. Normally it's very easy for me to find things in the fade but I've never been able to find you. May I ask what you dream about?" He asked. The list was long and half of what she'd dreamt of he could never understand, surely Solas knew that as Raven tried to think of an appropriate answer and explination. Cole remained quiet on Raven's other side, recalling some of the dreams he'd seen play out through her subconscious as she slept.  
  
"The possibilities are endless when it comes to my dreams. Family, friends, things that happened and things I want to happen. Lately it's been about the Inquisition and those who've pledged themselves to the cause." She finally replied and Solas wasn't sure if he could appreciate her vague and evasive answer. Of course he'd been evasive as well but managed to do it in a way that wouldn't be suspicious, in a way they wouldn't know. She gave generic categories without any specific and personal information.  
  
"Like fighting with The Iron Bull?" Cole's voice was soft as he spoke, so soft that Solas almost didn't hear it. He glanced at Raven to see her nodding.  
  
"Fighting demons with Bull, sparring with the recruits like how my dad did with me, once a tea party with Sera and Vivienne - that was strange." Raven chuckled at the memory of that dream. The knight enchanter had worn the same outfit Raven dreamt her in the next day.  
  
"Sometimes there is a white wolf with gray eyes; strong, beautiful, feared but worthy of respect. You don't call him 'Dread Wolf' like the elves do. He is Fen'Harel in the stories that have been told. Instead you call him Pride." Cole looked at her as he continued to speak, "He was scared at first, not sure what you would do. He still doesn't know but he calls you friend and means it." Raven forced a smile and hesitantly looked over to Solas. It was hard but she managed and when she did he wasn't looking at her but was still smiling. Thankfully they were almost to their destination.  
  
Lamarr Tower was a mere ruin when it came to the entirety of the Western Approach. Crumbling bricks among miles of sand with etchings that managed to stand against time. It was small but there was a subtle kind of energy present, one that Solas and Cole felt immediately but didn't comment on. The scouts had been by earlier and set up two sleeping rolls since Cole had been an unplanned addition. In her tiredness Raven still offered to share since the bed rolls supplied to them were larger and unlike Solas she didn't mind the chance to be woken up. It was okay, she explained to him as she took off his hat and the harness holding the daggers from her back and set them to the side of the roll but still within arms reach, they were friends and he was welcome to lay next to her.  
  
  
 _"Come at me Girl!" To anyone else Bull's shouts would've sounded threatening but he was shooting a warm smile in her direction, "First one on their back is the loser. I'll block every shot you make and when this over you're buying drinks." Raven was familiar with the words and upcoming actions of the giant Qunari standing before her in Skyhold's sparring ring. She knew it was a dream but enjoyed it nonetheless._  
  
 _"Then why are we talking?" She retorted and drew the practice daggers from her harness, while wasting no time with anymore banter she lunged. As Bull moved to block her blades she brought a leg up to meet his side, fast and hard. She knew it hurt since it hurt her in return but neither of them let it show and their movements, his defense against her offense, didn't slow._  
  
 _"I finally found you." She heard a surprised voice from behind her announce somehow more clearly than the encouraging bystanders. With a quick movement all around her stilled, her practice daggers were replaced with her newly crafted ones, and she turned to face the intruder. Solas stood calm and collected before her with his staff and a small smile. She didn't drop her weapons though and he seemed to slightly approve. "So this is what you dream of. For some reason I was uncertain if what you told me was true."_  
  
 _"I might not always be specific in my answers but I've never lied. How do I know you're Solas?" She asked the man standing not ten feet from her._  
  
 _"Demons have a smell to them despite how they may appear. It's something they cannot help. Like how ones clothes would smell after a night around a fire. Besides, do you truly think a demon would impersonate me to talk to you instead of Bull, Varric, or even Cole?" Raven sheathed her weapons and offered him a smile._  
  
 _"I can see one approaching me as you but right now that's not particularly important. How'd you finally find me." She asked him._  
  
 _"Perhaps with your energy closer to mine. Truthfully I am not sure." Solas looked around; if he didn't know it was the fade he might've been convinced that they really were in Skyhold. He could feel the cool wind on his cheeks, hear it rustling the leaves, and smell the food coming from the tavern. Every crack in the stone and lump in the ground was laid around him and all he could do was stare at the small girl in front of him with a confused and apprehensive look on her face. "Can you change your dreams?" Raven cocked her head at her friends question. Did he mean if she could go somewhere else if she wanted to? Raven could tell that her friend was almost taken back as she quickly closed distance between them and grabbed his hand with a smile. Almost instantly Skyhold, Bull, the sparring ring, and unmoving crowd were gone and replaced by a setting Solas was completely unfamiliar with._  
  
 _It had been a long time since Raven had dreamt of her home, randomly or willingly. Weeks after she was found and brought to Haven she accepted the fact that she would never be coming home. Dreaming of it hurt but there she stood with Solas. They were in her back yard, fifty feet from her old home. As she envisioned it was early fall, warm enough to be comfortable but also cool enough so the leaves changed colors. Her dad never liked mowing so the grass was longer and the garden to their left was full of fall vegetables like squash, spinach, and pumpkin._  
  
 _"Where are we, Da'len?" Solas asked while looking around. To one side was a house and the rest was more wilderness than he expected. He could smell flowers coming from a garden not far away._  
  
 _"My home." He stilled as she spoke. "More specifically we're in my backyard. Would you like a tour?" She asked like a good hostess would and Solas found himself nodding. He'd been waiting and searching for her in the fade for months but never expected her to bring him somewhere so precious to her; and it was precious, he'd be a fool not to notice the subtle change in her posture or how her tone was lower, calmer. He followed her as she turned and walked through the grass. "We own seven acres of land in total and what we don't really use we leave to the wildlife. Dad and I always liked to grow our own fruits and vegetables. Different ones for every season." She explained and he watched her run forward and jump up to grab a large tree branch. "This was my favorite tree. I climbed and fell from her quite often." She let go of the branch and dropped gracefully next to him._  
  
 _"You miss this." It was more of a statement than a question._  
  
 _"Of course I do. Come, let me show you the house." Again he followed her. The house was made of laid stone and dark wood. Solas admired the detail as they grew closer. Normally the less recent a memory was the less detail there would be. It didn't seem to be that way for her. The house was large as they reached a large wooden door and Raven wasted no time reaching out to turn the knob and holding the door open for Solas to go in first. He was met with a hallway where two dogs, one black and one multicolored, and a cat. They didn't bark or jump, just sat there and panted while wagging their tails._  
  
 _"Raven?" He asked as the door behind him closed. She chuckled as she moved past him and kneeled down. It was then that they moved, crowding and licking her arms and face as she giggled and let them. Solas quickly learned the black dogs name was Aeries, the multicolored dog was Sasha, and the large cat was Combat. All three adored her and Raven's smile didn't wane as she stood up again._  
  
 _"The real dogs attack on will, know over thirty commands, and have military canine training. The cat is just lazy." She explained and he wondered why Zevran wasn't included in the crowd of animals. Maybe it was because the animal was with her when she was found. As she continued the tour of her large home he asked more questions than he thought would be possible. He learned of machines that automatically washed and dried clothes in one room and in the kitchen there were all sorts of appliances; mixers for cooking and baking, a box you can open and close that heated food, and another box that cooled and froze it._  
  
 _The 'living room' was next and Solas had to admire the black leather couches and chairs. Raven explained what a television was and let him experiment with the remote. She told him of times she and her father would make so much food and invite friends and family over to watch the television, sports she called football and hockey. There was also a large black and red box that she called a stereo and explained how it was connected to four small black boxes throughout the room. With the press of a button it was turned on and music filled the room. It was different than the music he'd heard in his journeys and what was played in the tavern. It was loud, fast, and nearly violent; she called it 'metal' and the performer was someone named 'Otep'. He remembered something Cole had told him once about music playing in Raven's mind as she sparred and fought and wondered if 'Otep' was part of that. Along the walls hung dozens of framed portraits, or pictures as she called them, and he enjoyed looking at each one. She was happier in them and whenever he came to one with people other than her and her father she told him who they were and what they meant to her. She didn't claim to have many friends but he could tell that there were a lot of people who loved and missed her._  
  
 _When they came to the bedrooms Solas wasn't sure what to expect. He knew her room in Skyhold was normal but also knew that their world hardly had some of the luxuries he'd been introduced to throughout the tour she was giving him. When she opened a door close to the end of the hall and flipped a switch he was surprised to see strand after strand of purple and white lights turn on from where the walls of her room met the ceiling. It was light enough to see clearly but not blinding and he recalled a passing conversation between her and Christopher when choosing her room about how she wasn't exactly fond of overly bright places where she slept. Behind the pictures and large flyers her walls were many different colors. She left it to her friend to paint, she explained and walked over to sit on her very large bed where her cat Zevran slept. It was easily three times the size of her bed in Skyhold and Solas noticed the quilt she ran her fingers over as she watched him walk around the room. There were shelves attached to the walls full of books and cases for music, a white stereo was place on a shelf by itself. It's three speakers were littered around the room. Two doors were to the far part of her room; one lead to a large closet full of clothes, shoes, and even more books. A bathroom was behind the other; equally large with a hard and cold black floor, a deep white claw foot bathtub with a long tube attached for showers. She explained that water came from their own well and about water heaters, even demonstrating how cold water could turn scalding hot in mere seconds, not with magic but instead something called 'thermal and heat energy'._  
  
  
 _The training room was next. In the same hallway that lead to Raven's room, her father's room, a closet, and bathroom was one last door that lead them downstairs to a completely different part of her home. The training room laid behind a door that had a number lock but once it was entered and the door unlocked he followed her inside. It was exactly as she'd showed him in the past; large with wooden floors and mirrors lining the walls. Racks upon racks of weapons were to the far part of the room along with a stereo and six speakers hanging from the ceiling. To demonstrate the difference in power she turned on the stereo causing Solas to jump at the sudden loudness throughout the room and the way the floor seemed to vibrate. Unlike the violent music upstairs what played was faster and upbeat with quick rhyming words lead by a melodic chorus of more than one voice. Raven was quick to turn it off only because there was one last thing she needed him to see and that was in a soundproof room on the other side of the basement; her dad named it 'The Cave'._  
  
 _'The Cave' was as big as all the other rooms in the home with plush black carpet Solas enjoyed under his feet and dark red walls. Leather couches like the ones upstairs were placed around the room and to the far end was a television at least six times the size of the other one he'd seen. It looked to be mounted or fastened to the wall itself and under it were shelves with many odd looking boxes and cases. She let Solas pick out the game, well, three games on his own as he explored. Shock etched his features as he read over the covers; part of him always doubted Raven's words but there he was on a case for very thing she told him about._  
  
 _"I've played these games so many times. My friend originally got into them from someone she knew and then she dragged me and my other friend into it. We'd get together and spend hours talking about you as well as everyone else." She explained and Solas looked up to see she was no longer in front of him but on one of the couches a couple feet away with three thick books on her lap._  
  
 _"Are those the books you showed me?" He asked softly and she shook her head. They were much more valuable than the books and reference guides she'd shown him on her kindle. Raven waited for him to join her on the couch before handing the first one to him, 'Dragon Age: Origins, Collectors Edition Guide' was written on the front cover over a picture of a bloody sword._  
  
 _"Origins, the first game was about the fifth blight. You actually play as the Hero of Ferelden and with Alistair, Morrigan, Leliana, and other companions as you have to go around Ferelden using treaties to gather an army to fight the darkspawn and archdemon. You can also decide who you want as king or queen of Ferelden and that book you're holding tells you how to do all of that." Her explanation caused Solas to stop and look at her before looking through the book again. Step by step instructions for recruiting companion and even romancing some, utilizing the treaties, deciding the fate of the Ferelden Circle, breaking the werewolf curs or slaughtering the elves, choosing the new king of Orzammar, and the consequences of what would happen with each choice made, including the ruler chosen. It was extraordinary._  
  
 _"What is in the next book, Da'len?" He asked.again she gave the book to him before and waited until he opened it to explain._  
  
 _"Dragon Age II takes place during and after the fifth blight. It's the story of Hawke in Kirkwall and the start of the Mage rebellion. You play as either Marian or Garrett Hawke depending on the gender and it follows how Varric came into the picture, the expedition into the deep roads, the Qunari attack on Kirkwall, and what stupid Anders did to ultimately exacerbate things. Throughout this game you can choose whether to support the Mages or Templars, romance companions, and so on. This book does the same as the last; it tells you how and what will happen depending in the choices you make. Know that there was absolutely no way to prevent what happened in Kirkwall with the Kight Commander being who she was." Solas listened to her explanation as he went through the book. When he closed it he saw her hesitate before finally handing him the last one, 'Dragon Age: Inquisition' was the title._  
  
 _"This is..." Her friend started and trailed off when she nodded._  
  
 _"This tells of everything that can and will happen regarding the Inquisition and the fight against Corypheus. I couldn't tell you before because there was no way you would've believed me but between this book and all the times I've played through the game this is how I know so much. Of course a lot of things are different; cities are bigger, there's more dialogue, and I'm not the Inquisitor." Solas knew she meant the last part as a jest but it was still hard for him to comprehend. The young woman sitting next to him, who he considered to be a friend, spoke of the fate of their world like it was nothing more than a story. To her it probably still was but she held crucial information that, like Christopher, held their key to salvation. He only wished he'd known that sooner._  
  
 _"T- Thank you for sharing this with me. It was an unexpected pleasure." He told her and she smiled. Unexpected was definitely the right word, she thought to herself. Solas stood and gingerly placed the books on the couch while looking at her as she stood up beside him. He was ready and accepting of the hug she gave him._  
  
 _"It's time to wake up." Her voice was soft and pleasant in his ear._

In the next moment he was awake and being greeted by the warmth and brightness of the sun. Solas sat up, eyes darting to Raven's bedroll to see her still laying there. It took him a moment to realize that the spirit had her head resting in his lap and was looking down at her, his gloves, daggers, and hat were placed beside hers not far away and he was humming a soft tune as he gently ran his fingers through her hair. Cole didn't stop or move away from what he was doing as Solas stood up, brushed off his robe, and made his way to them.  
  
"Good morning Cole. What are you doing?" He asked while still taking in the sight. Now that he was closer he could see that Raven was curled up next to him with a hand on Cole's knee as she slept.  
  
"I'm running my fingers through her hair Solas." Cole replied simply while still not looking away from her. It was nice feeling how soft her hair was, Cole thought, she almost always had her hair braided or up against her head. He found he liked it down and moving in response to her actions.  
  
"I see that but why are you?" Solas continued to inquire.  
  
"She likes it." The spirit answered just as simply as before. He smiled as he felt Raven stir, her hand lightly squeezed his knee, and her eyes opened slowly to get used to the light. He was a handsome sight to wake up to, Raven decided, with his always honest bright blue eyes, gentle smile, and golden hair that she learned in passing was softer than it looked.  
  
"Good morning Cole." She replied while stifling a yawn. He nodded and smiled as she sat up and quickly brushed her fingers through her long untied hair. When she looked around for her hair tie Cole held it out to her which she took with a quick thank you. Her attention turned to Solas as she retied her hair into a messy bun, stood up, and held a hand out to Cole which he decided not to use as he stood up. "Sleep well Solas?" She asked him with a knowing tone. On her part there were no secrets between them anymore, he knew where she came from, what she knew, and exactly how she knew it. It bothered her less than she imagined it would.  
  
"Very well. Would you like to head back to the others?" She nodded in response and made quick work of gathering and tying up her sleeping roll, putting on Cole's hat, and equipping her weapons. Cole was wearing her hat when she looked at him and he was adjusting the strap of his harness. He smiled as his eyes met hers.  
  
"You're happy." He said quietly. She smiled in return and walked the three or so paces to close the distance between them. Cole looked away to Solas, catching the mans curious gaze, before looking back to Raven. She put a gentle hand on his shoulder as she reached up on the tips of her toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. She then pulled away as if it were nothing and walked past her two friends to start the short journey back to the rest of of the party.  
  
"What did you do, Cole?" Solas asked as he fell in step with the spirit about fifteen feet behind Raven. The Mage looked over to see Cole looking down instead of forward, his hand on his cheek, still smiling. He could hear her mind and song as she walked ahead of them, her daggers glinting in the sun. She was humming to herself but that wasn't the song that played throughout her body and heart and the lyrics of the song weren't on her mind. He was.  
  
"I don't know."


	18. Taking Griffon Wing Keep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> [](http://s1073.photobucket.com/user/Tabitha_Forman/media/96660c82-a527-4a37-a570-7208598690f2_zpsft4btm3m.png.html)  
>  Raven and Cole  
> All work done by the fantastic[ Marina ](http://r-aters.deviantart.com/).  
> I recommend checking out her other work as well.  
> 

It was just about noon when the party reached the Ritual Tower. The expanse of stone was much bigger than Raven expected compared to what she'd seen in the game and as they met up with Hawke and Stroud at the entrance she remained quiet, knowing what was going to happen. Solas and Cole stood at her side and remained there as they made their way into the construct where the Wardens were. By the time they reached the ceremony platform the rage demon had already been summoned and bound as other Warden spellbinders watched in silence and on the stairs, above them all, was a man with dark greasy hair pulled back into a pony tail with a weeks worth of stubble, pale skin, and steel gray eyes. He smiled as their party entered.  
  
"Inquisitor! What an unexpected pleasure. Lord Livius Erimond of Virentium at your service." He introduced himself with feigned politeness, even bowing before Christopher. Raven rolled her eyes.  
  
"You are no Warden." Stroud declared angrily as he took a step forward. Erimond wasn't intimidated and as he looked away from Christopher to the large warrior his eyes widened and he smiled in realization.  
  
"But you are. The one Clarel let slip. And then you found the Inquisitor and came to stop me, shall we see how that goes?" He finished. Raven knew the overall outcome and what would happen but his condescension still pissed her off and she had to remind herself to keep a blank face.  
  
"It looks like you've already done some of my work for me." Christopher retorted and glared at Erimond as he scoffed.  
  
"What, him? We simply needed his blood. Oh, we're you hoping to garner sympathy? Maybe make the Warden's feel a bit of remorse. Wardens, hands up." Christopher, Cassandra, and Bull looked around as the Wardens raised their hands. Erimond gave Christopher a pointed look, "Hands down."  Again they obeyed him.  
  
"Corypheus has taken their minds!" It was Stroud who spoke and Erimond scoffed at him.  
  
"They did this to themselves. You see, the calling had the Wardens terrified. They looked everywhere for help." He spoke with such satisfaction that Raven nearly felt nauseous.  
  
"Even Tevinter." Their fellow Warden finished for him and Erimond nodded.  
  
"Yes and since it was my Master that put the Calling into their little heads, we in the Venatori were prepared. I went to Clarel full of sympathy and together we came up with a plan: Raise a demon army, march into the Deep Roads, and kill the Old Gods before they wake." As he spoke his eyes caught Raven's and didn't look away. Cold, dull gray against emerald green, it caused a slight shiver and feeling of unease to pass through her but she refused to let it show and give the sick bastard another sense of satisfaction.  
  
"So you manipulated the Wardens to build an army of demons for Corypheus." Erimond looked away when Christopher spoke and Raven felt slightly better as a result.  
  
"Just so. Sadly for the Wardens the binding ritual I taught the mages has one side effect: They're now my Master's slaves. This was a test, once the best of the Wardens complete the ritual the army will conquer Thedas."  
  
Christopher scowled at the despicable  man before them, "So Corypheus influenced the Wardens and made them do this ritual?" At that Erimond laughed.  
  
"Made them? No! Everything you see here, the blood sacrifices to bind the demons? The Wardens did it of their own free will. Fear is a good motivator and they were very afraid. You should've seen Clarel agonize over the decision; burdens of command I suppose," Erimond trailed off with a nonchalant shrug.  
  
"Do you really want to see the world fall to the Blight? What do you get out of this?" Raven glanced at Christopher and the other members of her party that she could see. Solas looked absolutely furious and she didn't blame him, knowing what others did not about his true origin. Cassandra was scowling. Bull and Cole, like her, kept blank expressions but their stances were stiff, ready to attack at a seconds notice. She supposed she was too.  
  
"The Elder One commands the Blight. He is not commanded by it like the mindless darkspawn. The blight is not unstoppable or uncontrollable. It is simply a tool. As for me, while the Elder One rules from the Golden City we, the Venatori, will be his God Kings here in the world." His explanation sounded even more ridiculous as he stood before her than it did in the video game, Raven decided and fought the urge to roll her eyes.  
  
"Why would the Wardens try to kill the Old Gods?"  
  
"A Blight happens when darkspawn find an Old God and corrupt it into an archdemon. If someone fought through the Deep Roads and killed the Old Gods before they could be corrupted... Poof! No more Blights. Ever. The Wardens sacrifice their lives and save the world." Ugh, Raven couldn't help thinking. The mans satisfaction was quickly turning to smugness over the plan he was talking about. The only redeeming factor was that she knew it would fail. It would fail miserably and in the end Erimond would most likely die by Christopher's own hand. Shame it couldn't be hers.  
  
"That's madness!" Solas shouted, "For all we know killing the Old Gods could make things even worse!"  
  
"Well then, it's a good thing I'm taking this demon army off their hands." He retorted and to Raven's displeasure his eyes landed on her again, "I'd be more than happy to take a thing or two off your hands as well." His words and smile caused Raven's eyes to widen. That wasn't in the game, it wasn't even close and an involuntary shudder ran through her body. A familiar gloved hand wrapped itself around her own and she looked away from the vile man before her and up to the pale blue eyes of Cole.  
  
"He won't take you. I won't let anyone take you." His quiet words made her smile and after a small nod she turned back to Erimond.  
  
"That's all I need to know." Christopher nearly growled. Erimond looked at Christopher and let out a harsh laugh.  
  
"Oh, please. The Elder One showed me how to deal with you in the event you were foolish to interfere again." In a flash that caught everyone, even Raven off guard, red light emitted from Erimond's hand in a spark and Christopher fell to his knees, the anchor in his hand glowing green, "That mark you bear? The anchor that lets you pass safely through the veil? You stole that from my Master. He's been forced to seek other ways to access the fade. When I bring him your head his gratitude will be -" He let out a cry of surprise as Christopher broke the hold and stood up. Green light from the anchor shot toward Erimond and hit him in the side, "Kill them!" The man shouted and ran.  
  
Raven pulled her hand from Cole's and drew her weapons; as she focused in on one of the Warden spellbinders and advanced toward him she heard Cole and Hawke pull out their daggers, Cassandra unsheathe her sword, and the crackle of magic as Christopher opened a rift to take care of the demons that were summoned and bound. The entranced Warden stared at her as she appeared before him; in a quick motion she brought one of her blades up to the weak spot in his armor under his left arm and buried the blade up to the hilt inside his sternum. His eyes widened and he went limp, dropping down as she tore the dagger from him and moved to position herself behind the Warden currently fighting Cassandra, who stepped back in surprise as Raven suddenly appeared and stabbed him in the neck. With an outward swing she let the sharp blade tear through his neck causing blood to spurt out and cover the Seeker's shield before he fell.  
  
"They refuse to listen to reason!" Hawke exclaimed once the last Warden was dead. Raven made her way back to the group after collecting the bottle hidden under debris.  
  
"You were correct; through their ritual the Wardens are slaves to Corypheus." Stroud conceded and Raven could see the forlorn disappointment etching his features.  
  
"And the Warden warriors?" Hawke asked and then turned away, "Of course, sacrificed in the ritual. What a waste."  
  
"Erimond lied to the Wardens. They were trying to prevent future Blights." Christopher added in their defense. Raven stayed quiet but noticed the disapproving look Solas gave and nodded in agreement with him. Lie or not it was a conscious decision.  
  
"With blood magic and human sacrifice." Hawke's retort caused Stroud and Raven to look at her. It was the first time seeing Marian Hawke up close enough to notice how similar she looked to the game; her hair was a little longer and the signature mark across the nose didn't exist but her crystal blue eyes and smile were the same.  
  
"The Wardens were wrong, Hawke, but they had their reasons." Stroud said with a long sigh and went to put a hand on her shoulder only to pull it away when her expression changed.  
  
"All blood mages do. Everyone has a story they tell themselves to justify bad decisions and it never matters. In the end, you are always alone with your actions." She spoke from the heart, Raven knew that and had to resist the urge to hug her. Instead she placed her hands at her sides and kept a calm expression.  
  
"I believe I know where the Wardens are, Your Worship. Erimond fled in that direction," Stroud pointed northwest as he spoke, "There's an abandoned Warden fortress that way; Adamant." Christopher nodded in acknowledgment and turned to look at Raven and the other party members before turning his attention back to the Champion and Stroud.  
  
"I want the Wardens. We cannot let Corypheus have an army of demons." Hawke nodded.  
  
"Stroud and I will scout out Adamant and confirm that the other Wardens are there. We'll meet you back at Skyhold." Her voice was kinder as she informed Christopher and took her leave with Stroud at her side. Christopher wasted no time turning to Raven and she was caught off guard at the calm expression he wore. Was he going to ask her if she knew about the Wardens? And if so would Solas or Cole speak up if she lied?  
  
"We need a stronghold here. What can you tell me about the keep to the distance?" He asked her as he pointed to the giant fortress north of them.  
  
"Griffon Wing Keep. It's the only stronghold within a hundred miles of here. Was abandoned for quite some time but now it's been taken over by the Venatori. Right now there's approximately ten soldiers with melee weapons keeping watch outside with two scouts higher up and another twenty or so agents inside the actual fortress. Once it's taken, and it will be, there will be another sulfur pit to cross that Cullen's forces will have to build a bridge over and a water source we'll need to clean up. Also, there's shards in and around it as well as an Elven Artifact and a landmark." Raven explained without hesitation, ignoring the stares from Cassandra and Bull.  
  
"And you think we can take it?" He clarified.  
  
"It's not a matter about what I think but yes, I know we can take it. It has to be done or we can't get to Servis and finish doing what we need to here." Christopher gave her a kind smile and turned his attention to the rest of the party.  
  
"Anyone have any objections?" He asked and Raven looked at Cassandra. The Seeker remained silent.  
  
"There's also a place to set up camp closer to the fortress." Raven continued, "I can get rid of the scouts there and mark the territory while you can take care of the rift north of here. We can meet up and take care of Griffon Wing Keep together." Christopher, Bull, and Solas looked over at her, surprised at her suggestion. She was strong and proven to be a great strategist but one wrong move or misjudgment and she could get hurt or worse.  
  
"I'll go with her and we'll meet up at the keep, how does that sound Boss?" Bull asked while he and Christopher still watched Raven. Did she miss something? Was she under watch again? With a nod from Christopher, Bull made his way over to her, put a hand on her shoulder, and lead her away from the others. When they were out of hearing range it was easy for her to get out of Bull's grip, as if he weren't even trying to keep her in place.  
  
"I don't understand, am I in trouble?" She asked him and received a glare from the large Qunari in return.  
  
"You suggest going off alone again, Girl, and you will be." Bull said in a low voice as he looked down at her. Raven looked away, almost as if embarrassed or ashamed and started heading in the direction of the would-be campsite with her arms folded across her chest. He knew she was normally quiet but something about her retreat bothered him. She didn't argue, didn't ask questions, just went silent like she used to do when she was found and brought to them. Bull thought of the night before around the campfire after she, Cole, and Solas had left when it had been decided that with the knowledge she had, while she was away from Skyhold she needed to be kept safe.  
  
"The camp is further east about half a mile away. There aren't many soldiers. I saw you use a potion for your arm earlier; do you have enough?" She asked, bringing Bull out of his thoughts. He looked down at her, expecting to see her smiling at him but she was still looking straight forward or possibly scouting.  
  
"Thanks but I'm good. Those Vints in the keep are mostly mages right?" He asked and she simply nodded. "You're not in trouble. Some things were brought to our attention yesterday and we had a talk last night after you left." It wasn't discussed that they were to keep the information from her and she deserved to know instead of her thinking the worst.  
  
"Did Cassandra accuse me of being a spy again?" She asked only half serious. Bull chuckled.  
  
"Only once but it's not about that. You're way more important to this cause than you let on. What you know could help or destroy everything which is why we all came to the decision that you need to be protected." At the last word Raven abruptly stopped and looked up at him, her eyes wide.  
  
"Even if I didn't have the information I do I'm still quite capable of protecting myself. There's no reason to go out of your way to watch me." Bull put a large warm hand on her shoulder and smiled despite his slight annoyance at her inability to grasp the concept he was trying to explain.  
  
"I know you are but you mean a lot of things to a lot of people, all of which would he heartbroken if something happened to you. Say someone from the other side does get hint about you and what you know; Are you gonna fight all of them by yourself? You're a lot of things but stupid isn't one of them." He took his hand from her shoulder but didn't look away as she stood there thinking over his words. Every part of her wanted to dismiss them, especially about those caring enough to be heartbroken if something bad were to happen but she knew he was right. She'd started a life with them; bonded, gained their trust like they gained hers and earned friendships that if broken would crush her. Instead of responding she turned and continued walking in the direction of the campsite with Bull by her side.  
  
  
With Bull's help it only took ten minutes to get rid of the Venatori agents and mark the territory for their camp. It took another twenty to meet up with Christopher and everyone else at one of the large bushes about fifty yards away from the keep. While Bull stood next to Christopher, Raven made her way to stand next to Cole who offered her a kind smile. The Qunari's words were still playing in her mind.  
  
"The Iron Bull is right." He told her quietly as he brought a hand up to wipe off a speck of dried blood from her cheek. She smiled back at him and mouthed a quick thank you before bringing her attention to the rest of the group.  
  
"What do you propose we do?" Cassandra was the one to ask. She was curious to see what Raven's plan was, they all we're except perhaps Cole who probably already knew. Raven turned and pointed to the front of the keep.  
  
"There are two men keeping watch on the ledges in front. I don't have my bow and arrows so I think Christopher and Solas should take care of them while the rest of us take care of the ones on equal ground. Cole and I can stealth and while Cassandra and Bull charge them and we can sneak behind them and and slit their throats or serve as distractions while you deliver the final blows. The choice is yours but I think those are the best choices." Raven explained to them while continuing to point out the soldiers, taking note of when each one wasn't paying attention. It didn't exactly matter since they would all die anyway but any information was useful.  
  
"What about that door?" Bull questioned while he peered over the bushes. The wooden door looked heavy and he imagined it could take a while to get through. He looked back at the small girl when she giggled.  
  
"Two hits with your axe and it's gone. Once we're inside anyone in the main area will run up the stairs. Second level will have soldiers and mages along the wall and on ground and the top level will be the same. Solas can cast barriers while we take care of the rest." Raven continued to explain, images from the game playing through her head. There was no doubt in her mind that it would work but she looked at Christopher for confirmation since it was his choice on whether or not they went with her plan. His eyes met hers.  
  
"I want you to stick with Cole, understand?" His words and tone were clear and all Raven could do was nod and glance over at the spirit beside her. Christopher watched him nod as if they were having a silent conversation, which they most likely were.  
  
"They won't make anyone suffer anymore. We will kill them all, I promise." Cole told her quietly in response to her silent request. He could see the images playing out in her mind, the hurt and evil the Venatori had caused and it wasn't fair that she, someone so caring and good, had to be the one to live with all the knowledge of what they'd done.  
  
"Then let's get started. I'd like to take care of this before nightfall." Christopher agreed.  
  
  
By nightfall Griffon Wing Keep was claimed by the Inquisition. As discussed, upon approaching the large entrance and patrolling soldiers Raven and Cole went into stealth mode and made their way to the two largest men where almost in unison they brought their blades across their targets throat. Of course they couldn't see one another but when the large targets dropped Christopher and Solas made their move and attacked the agents scouting while Bull and Cassandra rushed the other soldiers who still seemed to be momentarily confused. No longer invisible to her enemies Raven still didn't let it effect her efficiency and took another down that faced Cassandra by exploiting the weak points in his armor. Still in stealth Cole watched his small friend deliver the final blow with a calm, calculated expression before moving in closer to his own target, a Mage The Iron Bull had distracted, and brought his blade down through cloth robes into the evil mans shoulder. Hurt, pain, laughing at suffering, screaming, eyes roaming the young girl as she cowers before him. He was very evil and deserved to die.  
  
"Cole, look out!" He heard her scream, bringing him out of his momentary daze just in time to drop a soldier from behind him swung his sword. Unfortunately that was all he was able to do because that last soldier fell mere seconds later as blood spurt from his neck, covering Cole and the sand around him. Raven stood over him, eyes wide and worried. Without a word she sheathed her daggers and held out a hand which he took as he stood up. She moved away once he was steady and addressed The Iron Bull. Cole could hear her heart racing, blood pumping as she tried to distract herself from the thought that she'd just almost lost him. She hurt but he couldn't help her, it wasn't the time.  
  
"Bull get through the door." She told him and he nodded in acceptance to her request. She stood far enough away to not get hit with his giant great axe but once the door was destroyed she went into stealth and made her way inside while Venatori agents scrambled like frightened mice to get up the stairs to the second level. Cole did the same and ran to catch up, they were to stay close and he made it up to the second floor just in time to see two men let out gurgled shouts and fall and only a glimpse of her before she disappeared again. Moments later another two were down while the others focused on Bull and Cassandra coming toward them. Cole made his way to one of the ladders and climbed up, they couldn't see him as he moved around them, using their weak points to disarm and kill, halting the effects and wards belonging to the spells they cast. When all on the wall were gone Cole jumped down in time to see Raven become visible. His eyes focused on a cut along her torso as she drank a health potion, wincing at the taste and as it stitched the cut skin together.  
  
"You're tired." Cole spoke as he reached her. She looked at him.  
  
"We're almost done." She told him quietly and moved to the rest of the group, "The rest are on the top floor and won't attack until one of you is half way up. Cole and I will stealth and make our way up first, I imagine we can get between two and four guys down before you're in range to attack." Christopher smiled and put a hand to her cheek. It wasn't romantic, Solas observed, but like what a proud older brother would do and he wondered when those romantic feelings he had for her stopped. She, no doubt, would be grateful.  
  
"Remind me to treat you to a very large meal and a drink once we get back to Skyhold." She smiled at him and nodded before stepping back and reaching out to grab Cole's hand.  
  
"I'll accept that offer. Wait one minute then come come up." She told him and Cole was glad to see she was still smiling. On queue they both went into stealth and when she let go of his hand he quickly made his way up the stairs and past the Venatori officer who seemed to be too busy trying to antagonize Christopher to realize that one member of the Inquisition had already quietly started picking off mages from the back. Quickly Cole took care of the two closest to the far wall that would be in everyone's blind spot once they ascended the stairs. By now they knew someone was up there with them but didn't have a chance to retaliate as right then Christopher and the others reached the top of the stairs. Cole watched as he threw a fire spell toward the officer, hitting him in the center of his chest. The fire grew and he screamed as he ran around, even managed to set fire to another Mage. That distraction was what they needed, at least in Raven's opinion as she brought her dagger down in a quick motion into one mans shoulder, piercing his heart in the process. The officer was dead and only three remained. She was tired but made her way over to stop one of the men from advancing toward Solas.  
  
When it was all over Cole remained beside Raven as she looted the bodies of the fallen Venatori. Silk, gold, nothing she particularly needed. Not at the moment anyway. She needed a bath.  
  
"You need sleep as well." Cole spoke from her side as they moved back toward their friends. She looked at him and shook her head. He was still covered in blood from earlier.  
  
"We both need baths. I insist if you're going to be sleeping next to me tonight." She said but then looked away, realizing how that sounded and that she was being presumptuous. Cole didn't sleep," I meant if you wanted to stay with me instead of listen to Bull snore like a giant. You don't have to." She tried to explain and did her best not to look at him, missing his smile as he peered down at her. Raven's face was the color of her hair and somehow it fascinated him.  
  
"Did you find anything?" Christopher asked her. Raven turned her attention to him, grateful she didn't have to focus on her own thoughts anymore.  
  
"Silk, gold, weapons, no orders or correspondence though. So let's raise that banner and send the needed ravens. While we wait for Inquisition forces we can go over our next plan of action."  
  
"We could," Bull agreed, "or tonight we can celebrate. You deserve a drink." Raven smiled and gave her friend a knowing look. He knew better but it never seemed to slow down the invitations he gave her.  
  
"I don't drink. A bath sounds good though, Cassandra would you care to join me?" Raven asked, catching the Seeker off guard. It wasn't intentional but Raven couldn't help but giggle as the older woman stared at her.  
  
"You want me to take a bath with you?" She was skeptical, probably not sure if she heard Raven's words correctly.  
  
"Not particularly but since I'm to be watched and protected I'd rather have you with me than one of the men. Come on, I have some scented oils in my pouch and you know the water would feel great." Cassandra thought over Raven's words; a bath did sound wonderful after what they had just accomplished and her going alone wasn't an option. She was surprised the young girl didn't ask Cole; it would be inappropriate for her to ask such a thing but around them and her other friends the sort of propriety she held with others wasn't particularly something she worried about.  
  
"If you are certain then I shall join you." The Seeker finally accepted and followed Raven down the stairs. It was a few moments before Bull laughed and put a hand on Cole's shoulder. The spirit had been looking out over the giant sulfur pits and wondering what was hidden beyond them that Bull's hand was a surprise.  
  
"Shame she didn't ask you. There's always next time." The Iron Bull said quietly in his ear. Cole looked at the large man with a curious expression. Why would she ask him to take a bath with her? Why was it a shame? Raven had never asked him to join her before and he was certain nothing had changed.  
  
"I don't understand, The Iron Bull. Why is it a shame she didn't ask me?" Cole asked. She could protect herself and she had Cassandra. Bull looked at him wondering if the kid was serious or messing around. If anyone had a chance at her it was him, if that was his deal anyway. "Long red hair, breathy whimpers and pleas, small hands holding onto horns pointed up, pushing harder, 'I bet she tastes like raspberries and cream'... Do people always taste like fruit, The Iron Bull?" He continued to ask and Bull probably would've laughed if it hadn't been his thoughts the kid just announced. Fucking Varric was supposed to have the talk with him about private thoughts too.  
  
"Some women do kid." Bull simply explained and Cole looked down.  
  
"I wouldn't know." He replied, not sure if it was bad that he never had the experience. Never wanted to. Solas came forward and put a hand on Cole's other shoulder.  
  
"Have you been interested in anyone, man or woman, since you left the fade, Cole?" Solas asked him and only received a quick shake of the head from the spirit.  
  
"I can take her then." Bull offered with a laugh, only half serious. Again Cole shook his head.  
  
"You can't. She says you and Dorian need to be together." Cole replied with a simple shrug and Bull swore he stopped breathing for a moment. Why'd she want him with the Vint? True, it was fun to flirt and get him flustered but a real relationship? The Mage would never go for it.  
  
"What else does Raven say, Cole?" Solas asked and even Christopher moved a few steps toward the three men, curiosity getting the better of him. Cole thought to himself about all the things they'd talked about since he'd come to join the Inquisition; all the things she said, the thoughts she had during her everyday routines, and even her dreams. There wasn't any way he could ever tell them everything he knew; Solas, Blackwall, choices that would have to be made that would change the outcome of their journey, Raven knew it all and had been using that knowledge to help them all succeed. She wouldn't like it if he said that, it would make her sad and he didn't want that, it muted her song.  
  
"It's still like a dream sometimes. Waking up in a cold sweat in an unfamiliar room, an unfamiliar bed. It takes a moment but then she realizes where she is and it's a little better. Teaching, training, learning, sparring; new life, new friends and responsibilities but the routine is nearly the same. Cullen didn't intend to kiss her that day in his office but he couldn't help himself. Months of wanting turned to needing and she was so undeniably compelling, beautiful, delicate and then she tasted so sweet. She didn't want him to kiss her but it didn't stop her from thinking about it later. It was her first and it had to be him of all people. 'Why can't he get over it? I'm not the one to deal with his problems and attitude. I'm broken, not right' -"  
  
"Cole. Cole! It' alright, you can stop." It was Solas who brought him out of his head. What he didn't realize was that his voice had nearly become frantic, rushed, higher and louder than intended.  
  
"She belongs here." The spirit was much calmer as he spoke. Solas was the one to nod but it was no question that the other two agreed.  
  
  
The journey to the small oasis was short, mostly silent, and surprisingly void of vicious wildlife or extreme cultists. Once every now and then Cassandra would ask simple questions or voice her observations while Raven hummed to herself, only breaking to answer the questions Cassandra asked her.  
  
"I must admit, Raven, I'm surprise you asked me to come with you instead of Cole." The Seeker finally told her as the pool of clear water was in sight. Raven didn't stop walking but she became silent. Was her friendship with Cole really that dependent that people thought she'd really drag him to bathe with her?  
  
"Why would I ask Cole to come bathe with me?" She asked. The water was barely fifteen feet away and Raven wasted no time throwing her bag to the rock wall a foot from it and stripping the weapons, boots, socks, and bloodied cotton from her body, paying no mind to the stares she was getting from the Seeker.

"It just seems like every time I see you he's by your side. It's obvious how protective he is of you." Raven shrugged in response. 

"Well, yeah, we're friends. I don't know about the whole protective thing, we all do what we can to make sure no one ends up with an ax to the head or something and he's no different. Also, unlike the other people in Skyhold who are scared of him and so eager to forget, I enjoy spending time with him. I don't have to struggle to explain things and hide how I'm feeling because he already knows. It's comforting in a way.

"I don't understand how you can feel safe with a demon." Cassandra retorted and Raven found herself biting her tongue. 

"Cole isn't a demon and I'd thank you to keep from calling him one. He's a spirit of compassion." Raven's patience was already starting to wear thin with the current conversation and Cassandra's presence. Maybe she should've asked Cole to come along with her instead, Maker knew he needed a bath after the incident at the keep. Still, it wouldn't have been appropriate and the last thing she needed to deal with was Cassandra's snide judgmental comments or Bull's perverted ones. 

"You really do care for him..." Cassandra trailed off and Raven felt her eyes roll on their own accord as she made her way into the water, nearly groaning in appreciation at how cool it was as it met her toes, knees, hips, and finally the rest of her as she dove under to wet her hair and the rest of her body. By the time she emerged again Cassandra had her weapons and armor removed and was working in her boots and pants.

"That's no secret and nothing I ever tried to hide. Now enough of this stupid conversation. I have no rose petals but there are soaps and oils in my bag you can use." As long as it changed the damn subject.  
  
"Do you usually carry them with you?" The older woman asked when she was finally undressed and making her way into the water.  
  
"Of course I do." Raven replied with a fake giggle as she moved toward her bag and after a few moments of searching around fresh underwear and more cotton robes she finally found them. Rose oil, citrus oil, and two shaved chucks of vanilla scented soap, "Call me spoiled but I like smelling nice. Here." Cassandra reached out and took the soap offered while wasting no time rinsing off the blood, sweat, dirt, and grime from her body. The young woman was slower in her actions, finger combing her wet hair with the soap first before tying it back again and working on the rest of her body.  
  
"Between us I have a few things that I've been wanting to ask you about." Cassandra was the one to break the silence between them as she looked over to the younger girl. The tattoos on her pale skin were remarkable, colorful in contrast, and it seemed every time she turned there was another that she never noticed or was kept hidden. Knowing her it was most likely the former.  
  
"Alright, go ahead." Raven didn't look back at the other woman as she spoke. It wasn't her trying to be rude; the last thing they needed was to be surprised by anything while naked. If she were to be completely honest with herself she expected Bull to show up over any Venatori.

"You are close with the Inquisitor. Is there something more between you and him?" Before the question was complete Raven was already staring incredulously at the Seeker, not sure if she should be offended. How many clarifications did the woman need before she understood that Raven had better things to do and on her mind than flirt and fuck every member of the Inquisition?  
  
"Do you think..." Did Cassandra really think so little of her? First Cole, now Christopher, "No. He's like a brother to me, a friend, nothing more." Raven didn't bother trying to hide the annoyance in her tone as she replied. How else was she supposed to respond to such an asinine question.  
  
"I am sorry if that came out the way it did. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just very hard to figure out exactly... You're very secretive and it's hard sometimes to figure out your intentions." Cassandra was caught off guard when Raven turned around quickly enough to make the water move. She looked angry, hurt even. It was more emotion than she ever let the Seeker see come from her but she didn't care.  
  
"With all due respect, just because I elect not to tell you something doesn't mean I'm being secretive. We aren't really friends so I have no excuse or reason to confide in you about every teeny tiny event of my day. Nothing is going on between me and Christopher, Cole, Bull, Cullen, or anyone else and whether you meant to offend or not it hurts and pisses me off that despite all I've done to help you still think so low of me. I am not your enemy, Cassandra!" Cassandra stood still, mouth agape, as Raven ranted and made her way out of the water while grabbing her bag in the process. By the time she realized that Raven was leaving the small girl had already thrown on the cotton underwear, shirt, and strapped her weapons to her back. The boots she was wearing earlier and her bag were clutched in her hand and she was fast as she retreated that Cassandra knew there was no chance of catching up with her. Shit, she thought as she quickly rinsed the soap from her body, Christopher was going to be angry.


	19. Reckless Behavior

It took a week for Inquisition forces to make it to Griffon Wing Keep. That week had been, overall, uneventful for most of the party. Every day was spent hunting down Venatori and what Darkspawn had crossed the sulfur pits and come close to their new territory, gathering shards, helping the few people they'd met along the way, exploring new places, and gathering plants and materials from the never ending supply of wildlife. Nights consisted of dinner and stories around the campfire until Raven, Solas, and sometimes Cole politely took their leave only to return the next morning. The young girl had kept her promise when it came to showing the Elven Mage old ruins which he gladly dreamt in and explored while in the fade every night. Most mornings seemed to be nearly the same as the first when Cole joined them; Solas would wake to see Raven sleeping only a few yards away with Cole at her side gently stroking her hair or humming an unfamiliar tune that would cause her to smile when she woke moments later. Solas wanted to ask them about it but was always unable to find the right words.

Since the incident at the small oasis that caused Raven to come back early and alone, much to the annoyance of others, she and Cassandra were seldom ever together and communicated even less. With Raven it was a matter of anger and pride, with Cassandra it was mostly shame though she doubted the younger girl would ever believe it. She was right, Cassandra realized. Raven had been with them nearly every step of the way, risking her life and showing endless patience with all of them to help fight Corypheus and bring order to Thedas. She wasn't a bad person. She wasn't an enemy. As those thoughts played out in the Seeker's mind she caught sight of Raven and Cole in the distance from her vantage point at the keep.

"They seem to get closer every day." Cassandra jumped and turned at the sudden noise to see Solas standing not too far away. Slowly she nodded in agreement.

"What makes them that way, do you know?" She asked and Solas shook his head but came forward to lean against the high stone wall and stare out in the distance like she had been doing before his interruption.

"Honestly, I'm not so sure. Cole and I had a small conversation about it once but that was shortly after we found Skyhold." The Mage replied. Out in the distance he saw Raven slowly kneel down with Cole standing beside her. It took a moment and he had to focus but finally he was able to see a small fennec slowly make its way into her arms, "Raven, on the other hand, accepts him for what he is. I was worried when she was first found and brought to Haven. Everyone was talking about the events of her capture and somehow I found myself picturing a violent, heartless monster instead of that girl. I mean, she is violent but it's something only our enemies really have to worry about."

"And the nobles of Orlais." They both turned at the new voice to see Christopher smiling as he walked up the stairs. The two weeks they'd been stuck in the desert were evident in his features; his skin was tanner and his hair lighter due to the sun. He smiled at his friends as he made his way over to the ledge they were leaning against to see the two rogues on their way back to the keep, a bundle limp in Raven's arms.

"When is she leaving?" Cassandra asked him and didn't envy the girl at all while doing so.

"Five days. Now that the forces are here and done working on the bridges to cross the sulfur pits we can start seriously planning about what needs to be done about the Darkspawn and finding Servis. If it's not done before she has to leave I'll request her to write down everything like she did in Crestwood." Christopher replied and Solas nodded.

"Are we still never going to discuss how she has all this information?" Cassandra asked a lot calmer than she truly felt about the situation. Earlier in the week Solas had taken Christopher aside and Raven was summoned shortly after. The contents of their meeting had been kept confidential and whatever topic had been discussed it didn't seem to alter her relationship with any of them. Still, she wanted to know what was said.

"Right now that isn't anything you need to worry about. Raven and I discussed it and I trust her." Christopher retorted, his tone giving away his slight annoyance before he turned to Solas, "Have you talked to her about an escort to Val Royeaux yet?" The Elven Mage let out an exasperated sigh and looked out to see Raven and Cole much closer to the keep, sitting in the shade as they played with the fennec. The notion of having someone join her when she left had been brought up earlier that week when Solas brought Christopher aside, with Raven's consent, to explain what was shown to him in the fade and the source of Raven's knowledge. It had been hard to believe at first but once Raven had joined them and admitted that she had, in fact, known what was going to happen. That was how she was able to save the people of Haven when it was attacked and how she knew who to help and where to go in every place they'd been in order to further the Inquisition's power and influence. She'd also explained that some things did have to play out, such as the events with the Wardens. With everything she knew about them and their world she couldn't save everyone.

"She still says it isn't needed and that Val Royeaux is only three days away on horseback. Two if she rides straight through." He finally replied and then flashed a sly smile at the Inquisitor, "But since Cole agrees with us chances are he'll be able to change her mind."

"I thought as long as it wasn't Cassandra she'd be alright with it." Christopher mused and looked at her when she made a noise, "You think I'm wrong? You accused her of having a relationship with Cole and then questioned her about a relationship between us, I'd be upset too." And it was true, he was annoyed at first when Raven had finally calmed down enough to explain why she'd come back alone and upset, nearly breaking her own hand when she punched Bull during their sparring match later that night.

"I didn't intend to upset her. I felt they were valid questions." The Seeker tried to justify only to stop when Christopher rolled his eyes and gave her a smirk. They weren't really valid questions. We're all women secretly this way? Somehow he knew he'd get in trouble with Cassandra if he were to ask her and Raven would most likely shrug it off. Perhaps Bull would have an idea since he always seemed to have his choice of them.

"I don't understand the validity." Solas voiced as the trio slowly made their way down the stairs to the designated living quarters, immediately seeing Bull working on sharpening his great axe at a grindstone. "Cole is a spirit and has made it clear that he has found no interest in women since crossing the veil. As close as they are Raven is still just a woman." By now they were close enough to the grindstone that Bull could hear their conversation and he couldn't help but chuckle. Raven wasn't just a woman and Solas could preach about the Kid being a spirit all he wanted but Cole was changing; anyone who took the time to really observe him could tell. Varric was right in saying the Kid was becoming more human and it was only a matter of time before it became obvious to the others, including Solas and Raven just like how it was also a matter of time before the Kid realized that Raven was more than just a woman if he hadn't already.

"So Boss, are we ready to get a move on? I'm getting kind of restless." Bull asked while examining his axe one last time before standing up and placing it on his back.

"We'll plan it all out when Raven and Cole get back. If we're lucky we can get it all done before she has to leave." Christopher replied and was thankful for the change in topic.

"Where did they go?" Bull asked and before anyone could reply they all heard the distinct sound of the new iron gate for the keep open from below. It didn't take long for the two rogues to come into view as they ascended the stairs together, not noticing the others as they talked quietly amongst each other. Bull wasn't the only one to notice the tiny fennec asleep in Raven's arms and had to wonder what it was with her and animals. First the cat, then the small lizard the other day, and now that pile of fur curled up into her breasts.

"I saw that they made quick time building the bridge across the sulfur pits. Does this mean we can go?" She asked without any formal greeting and Bull smiled at her lack of small talk. Her fingers absentmindedly moved under the small animals chin to stroke the soft fur and the animal mewled in response to her light ministrations.

"We wanted to discuss it with you first." It was Cassandra that replied which it seemed no one was expecting. Raven didn't let anything show as she looked over to the Seeker wondering why Cassandra was suddenly the one to answer her.

"Discuss?" Raven repeated the word as if she were confused. "'Discuss' in the matter that you don't want me to go or 'discuss' in the way that you wanted to go over a plan first?"

"We wanted to go over a plan." The Seeker verified and Raven nodded. When Cole reached out to pet the small fluff in her arms she turned to smile at him; it was calm, warm, and he smiled back at her in response and he found himself noticing small, subtle changes in her features; Freckles along the bridge of her nose, her long red hair, normally a deep red, was now the color of light copper, and her green eyes glowed. It was the warmth and the sun, Cole decided and looked away when he felt the sudden itch his fingers had to run through her hair like before.

"As long as we are stocked on healing potions and some of Sera's bee grenades we'll be fine. If you have no problem with it Cole and I can go ahead and take care of the archers and assassins." Christopher balked at her offer, after countless conversations about needing her kept safe she still was the first to offer her specific talents.

"How many are there?" Christopher finally asked and Raven shrugged. She never kept precise count in the game and it usually varies depending on the chosen difficulty.

"Between five and twenty before we get to the ruins. At least five of them will be with two handed weapons which I personally don't wish to fight." Raven answered honestly and her continuous lack of concern touched a nerve with nearly everyone but it was Cole who spoke up.

"Twisted, torn, savage; they want nothing more than to hurt anyone who isn't the same. They will not touch you. I will not let them."

"I will be safe, Cole. If we do it this way we can just cover more ground. We don't have to it like that if you don't want to." Raven replied while trying to give them the most logical explanation. Cole continued to stare at the small girl beside him.

"This isn't the first time Raven's gone ahead and done this," Bull spoke up not seeing what the big deal was. If it was her suggesting going in alone then he'd tie and gag her to keep that from happening but that wasn't the case, "She'll also be with the Kid and we'll be close behind anyway. I think it's a great idea."

"I agree with Bull. Raven is more than capable of handling herself in hand to hand combat and the same goes for Cole." Solas smiled at Raven as he spoke up and she had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. It wasn't that he was being unreasonable but they were speaking of her like she wasn't even there. It was a recurring habit that she has growing less and less fond of.

"That being said can we please get ready and go?" She asked and Bull didn't miss the look of relief that flooded her features when Christopher finally nodded in approval.

   
By ten nearly any hesitance the rest of the party had was gone as Darkspawn were taken out one, if not two, at a time. Raven's plan of she and Cole going ahead to patrol and eliminate any Darkspawn that didn't handle a two handed weapon had worked better than Christipher, Solas, Cassandra, and even Bull had expected. Cole shadowed Raven as she seemed to glide around her enemies using her movements and position to create his own so the daggers in his hands could always hit their target and bring them down one after another. Part of him didn't like that she was the one to always volunteering to go first into the unknown but joining and fighting alongside her felt as natural to him as helping the broken and hurt. When they finally reached the ruin and the two rogues helped take out the last of the bigger Darkspawn did they allow themselves to breathe for a moment. Raven sat on the giant steps and retied her sweaty, damp hair before taking a long drink of water from her canteen which she then offered to the spirit who sat down beside her. She did that often, Solas observed. It was as if she was forgetting that Cole was a spirit or maybe in her still adrenaline fueled mind she didn't notice it was him until he declined. Either way he couldn't see it ending well.

"I don't want to split up in the ruin." The small redhead announced once her canteen was sealed and put away, "There's more Darkspawn and it's closed quarters. I don't mind making the first move but I'd like to not get too ahead of you, even with Cole by my side."

Christopher looked over at her in surprise and he could tell Cassandra had done the same but he nodded anyway and asked, "How many are there?" Only to receive another shrug.

"Between fifteen and thirty. There's also a giant at the end. How good are you guys on health potions?" There was silence after her revelation and when no one answered her question Raven looked up to see the shocked faces of her companions. Christopher, Cassandra, and Solas stared at her in disbelief and Bull had stopped wiping his giant axe of tainted Darkspawn blood to look at her.

"Are you shitting me?" The Qunari's voice was low as he looked down at the small girl sitting not even five paces from him. She slowly shook her head in response feeling anything but intimidated, since she assumed that was what he was going for.

"I never actually understood that expression but no, I'm not." She replied while taking out an apple from her bag and offering it to him. Was she serious, Bull wondered as he shook his head at the thing. With a shrug she tossed it to the Seeker who clumsily caught it then did the same with Christopher and Solas.

"Then why are we sitting here drinking and eating instead of taking care of it?" He asked while finally showing a smile. Dragons, Darkspawn, and now Giants? The damned desert had everything and he couldn't wait to kill them all.

"Because fighting in hot weather like this can get you sick of you don't stay hydrated. Now I'll ask again, how is everyone on health potions?" When Cassandra announced that she had taken one she was caught of guard when Raven reached into her bag, took one out, and walked over to her.

"Why are you giving this to me?" The Seeker asked and stared at Raven as she tucked it into the empty slot of her potion belt.

"You take more damage than I do." She replied simply and made her way back over to Cole who was still sitting on the old decrepit steps.

"You worry about everyone. I am alright." The spirit assured as he looked up at her. Whether Raven was aware of it or not thoughts and images were playing in the back of her mind of hot days, odd devices hooking up to her before climbing cliffs, apples and homemade sweet tea kept cool with ice were the reward for making it up to the top. She was happy then and Cole liked that she was happy now. He turned his attention to The Iron Bull, Solas, Christopher, and Cassandra while Raven took her seat next to him again and pulled out another apple, this time for herself.

"You leave for Val Royeaux soon," It was Cassandra that spoke up, trying her best to make small talk. Still, Raven looked up at her as she took a bite of her apple, the small crack as her teeth broke through the skin was loud, "are you still looking forward to it?"

Raven stared at the Seeker as she thought over the older woman's question, holding off on a reply till the food was gone from her mouth. When they first arrived she was a little eager to go back to the Orlesian Capitol but now that it was so close and she was happy with how far they'd come she was significantly less excited. The idea of an escort didn't help either so hopefully her plan would work. "Truthfully I'd rather stay here. Josephine would kill me though." She finally replied before taking another bite of her apple. Her comment caused Solas, of all people, to chuckle.

"Yes, I imagine she wouldn't be too thrilled." The Elf agreed.

"Yeah but have you noticed that accent of hers gets stronger when she's mad? It's kind of a turn on just like yours is." Bull voiced before pointing a finger to Raven who wasn't paying attention as she continued to eat her apple in silence. She didn't even notice Cole looking at her and the Qunari wondered what had her so distracted. He was looking forward to what her reaction would be and it was completely wasted.

"I don't have an accent." She finally replied as Bull was about to look away. "Cassandra does though. So do Solas and Cole, why not talk about them?" Raven had yet to look away from the view that caught her focus as she spoke. From her spot on the steps she could see Griffon Wing Keep and the tiny black shadows of their soldiers patrolling the perimeter.

"I've figured out Seeker's reactions a long time ago and Solas does nothing for me."

"Thank the Gods for that." Raven heard Solas retort quietly and she chuckled. If Bull heard it than he chose not to reply as he gave Raven a smirk and continued while watching for any subtle reaction.

"You always surprise me though. The second I think I've figured you out you do or say something to throw that idea out the window. It's exciting." Raven merely shrugged. Cole watched the exchange between his friends with an amused curiosity. He could hear and see the thoughts and images playing in The Iron Bull's mind and had to wonder what about his friends reactions always excited the large Qunari so much. The spirit didn't understand and he wanted to but he couldn't keep up with the pattern of racing thoughts Bull seemed to have which were suddenly halted so he could move out of the way to dodge the apple core Raven had thrown at him. The Iron Bull's thoughts seemed to kick into overdrive then as he stared at Raven; Pulling down her breeches and underwear to expose soft pale skin of her -

"Looks like I'll have to work on being less exciting. Is everyone ready to head in?" Raven asked and Cole was the only one who didn't respond. Instead he just stood up while trying to block out the very loud thoughts his Qunari friend was having about Raven.

   
"Damn Girl!" Bull bellowed as the giant fell, dead, to the ground with Raven still on its back, one of her daggers still embedded into its heart while the other she freed from its neck on the way down. It was an interesting situation that lead to her in that particular position, mainly thanks to Bull for letting her use him as a ramp. Raven threw him a quick smile before dislodging her dagger from the dead creature before her, not noticing the surprised looks from her other companions, Cole included.

"Was it really necessary to use Bull as a thing to jump off of?" Solas asked aware that he was starting to smile. She smiled back at him once she was on solid ground and then started laughing at what had just occurred.

"Bull didn't seem to mind." She replied while wiping her daggers on her once white cotton shirt.

"I can't believe that actually worked." Bull exclaimed with an even bigger smile and not helping the Elf try to make his point.

"You need to be more careful. What would you have done if the giant turned at the last moment and grabbed you?" Christopher scolded, not at all amused.

"I imagine I would've gotten it's heart and jugular much easier. Then either it would've fallen back because of the impact or fallen on me which would've been kind of funny." She replied and her nonchalance annoyed the more practical members of the group. "I'm sorry if I freaked you guys out but I saw an opportunity and went for it. Besides, it stopped the thing from throwing the boulder at you and Christopher." Without another word they watched as she made her way across the large room to loot the chests. When she was no longer in hearing range Christopher let out a frustrated sigh and shot a glare at Solas who had started to chuckle then at Bull who was just as excited as Raven had been moments ago. That girl was going to be the death of him, he swore while looking at Cassandra whose expression was one of awe.

"I don't know if I should be happy that she made it out unharmed or if I should scold her." The woman murmured quietly and wished she was back at Skyhold with bet training dummies.

"Come on Seeker, if anyone knows what they're doing its her. She's fine." Bull protested as he wiped his axe. It was obvious Raven meant a lot to them and not just because she had the skill and knowledge that could lead to their victory or defeat. Bull agreed that she was important to their cause since that was the main reason The Boss, Seeker, and Solas were upset; Bull even found himself staying close to her during combat just in case something were to happen. She was still a young woman even though she could put the best soldier on their ass and come up with quick, biting remarks that could make even the most self assured person feel like they were nothing he knew that trying to put restrictions on her wasn't going to help. Bull looked over to Cole who was standing there, his pale face expressionless though on the inside his thoughts were more frantic than the others. He didn't know how to explain it, he couldn't explain how or why he didn't like her reckless actions, her lack of concern for herself, and that she so readily put herself in danger.

"I don't want to take that chance Bull." Cassandra argued, "Whether her actions stopped the giant or not she could've been hurt or worse and I don't want to bring that news back to Skyhold."

"I get what you're saying Seeker. I'll talk to her later tonight if it'll make you feel better. Cole will even join me." Bull finally conceded as he glanced over at the demon...spirit thing. Whatever the Kid was it was obvious to Bull that he was probably the least happy about recent events. Even though his eyes were hidden behind long blond hair and that stupidly large hat his stiff posture and the fact that he refused to look at any of them was a dead giveaway and Bull decided that he would need to talk to the Kid before sitting down with Raven.

"There's a place to set up camp just through those doors." Raven announced as she rejoined her friends still standing around the giant's corpse. They looked at her and Christopher was the one to nod and start to make his way to the pair of large doors standing between their next set location.

"You weren't kidding," Christopher told her as they walked up the stone steps to see a large semi fenced in area that reminded him of the battlements back at Skyhold. Raven made a simple noise of acknowledgment and quietly made her way over to the shaded area and slid down the wall. She was tired and her body hurt but she was thankful that there wasn't much left to do before they could leave, if not tomorrow then the next day. She'd make sure of it.

  
Night finally came hours later and everyone seemed more than ready to relax after the long day. The Darkspawn, ruins, and giant were just the beginning and even though Raven let them know what was ahead it didn't make it any less tiring. Two more giants, three rifts, countless Venatori, capturing Servis, and the natural wildlife. It all seemed nearly impossible to get done within the matter of a day but by the time they returned it was late and nearly all was completed. Thankfully the soldiers finished setting up camp and one even thought to prepare dinner as they all took seats around the large fire. All but one, anyway, and it wasn't until they realized there was an extra plate that Raven hadn't joined them.

Tired and still hot the small redhead stripped on her way to her tent, hardly caring if anyone saw. That possibility was doubtful; she requested for her tent to be set up away from the fire, if one could call it a tent. It was more like the fort she used to make when she was a kid, a large tarp secured over the covered shaded area from earlier with two comfy bedrolls and pillows just in case Cole didn't want to listen to Bull's snores. Once practically naked inside her tent Raven made quick work of placing her daggers beside her small chest, tying her hair into a tight bun, and taking advantage of the giant bowl and washcloth left for her. It was nothing compared to bathing in the oasis but as the cool water touched her skin she couldn't help but let out a soft moan in appreciation before taking out a small bar of scented soap from the her bag.

"Do you think she's alright?" Solas was the one to ask after noticing that Raven hadn't joined them.

"She's probably tired." Christopher replied knowing that they all were, even Cole had to be to some degree. His eyes flicked over to the spirit who still had on his hat but was covered in dust, dirt, and blood like the rest of them.

"Tired, hot, body aching but the cold water soothes the muscles and mind as it touches, dampens, and drips down soft skin. She doesn't like being dirty." Cole replied quietly and it took a moment for his companions to realize that she'd decided to clean up before joining them.

It wasn't until they were halfway through dinner that Raven joined them wearing a loose black cotton sleeveless shirt and a pair of black and purple shorts, clothes from the time before she joined but in all honesty seemed the most appropriate for the weather even if she was among men. She looked absolutely exhausted as she less than gracefully took a seat between Bull and Cole.

"Hungry?" Bull asked and was surprised to feel her shake her head against his arm. "You need to eat." He continued in a tone that let her know it wasn't a matter up for discussion.

"Let me wind down first. Can you pass me some water?" She asked while turning her attention to Solas halfway through. The Elf smiled at her and with a nod filled a large cup full of water and gave it to Bull to give to her which she started to sip after she thanked him.

"We did a lot today." Christopher commented before taking another bite of food. The meat was tender and he wondered if it was something they brought from Skyhold or something they'd acquired in the desert. Raven sighed and nodded. "How much more do you suppose is left to do?"

"Shards and opening a door." The redhead replied before taking another sip of water. Damn, she was tired.

"You're joking!" Cassandra exclaimed and Raven shook her head.

"I have to leave soon and you guys made it clear that you don't like the desert so I wanted to get all the necessary things done today. If you want to get the shards tomorrow morning that door leads to where we encountered that first rift. We can head out after that." Raven explained and sat forward, suppressing a groan as she did so, to put down her glass and grab a plate and fork for food that was still on the cooking spit and pot. They stared at her surprised as meat was the first thing she grabbed followed by the assortment of vegetables and some rice.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Christopher asked after she had taken a couple much needed bites.

"You would've insisted we stop if I had told you sooner about how little there was left to do. With Servis caught, the rifts closed, and the Venatori gone from the area you, I, and everyone else can sleep deep and well." She replied and her logic was extremely hard to find fault in.

"So we can head out tomorrow?" Christopher verified and Raven nodded and continued eating. Bull looked down at the girl who jumped at his loud, unexpected laugh. Hell, she was a pain in the ass.

With Raven's admission there was a sudden lightness and excitement that came over the rest of the party. They were more lively in their actions and the chatter was more pleasant than before. Raven didn't speak much, then again there was no doubt in any of their minds that she pushed herself the hardest and had a right to be exhausted so when she stood up, using Bull for balance, bid everyone a goodnight, and left for her tent no one objected.

Cole had enjoyed the night and sudden changes everyone seemed to have once finding out they could leave the next day. He didn't say much amidst all the other conversation going on, he liked listening instead but once his friend was settled in her tent and was sure she wouldn't hear him, he looked to Christopher and smiled, eager to know what he would say if they knew Raven's second reason for pushing them as hard as she did. They had discussed it earlier that morning.

"Is everything alright, Cole?" He asked and the spirit nodded.

"How about we take a walk." Bull suggested, not giving Cole time to respond before he stood up and stretched. Cole tried to block out any thoughts his large friend was having knowing he hated that Cole could sometimes glean his thoughts. Reluctantly Cole nodded, stood, and followed Bull down the steps and through the doors to the room they faced the first giant earlier that day.

"Is everything alright, The Iron Bull?" Cole asked as he watched his friend turn to stare at him.

"I think we need to talk about what's going on with Raven." He replied and suddenly had no idea how to approach the conversation. There was no questioning that Cole knew and felt more about Raven than either of them had let on.

"I don't understand what you mean, The Iron Bull." As Cole spoke he couldn't help but hear some of the louder things going on in his friends mind. The Iron Bull was smart, after all the years in Seheron fighting agents of Tevinter and becoming a spy for the Ben-Hassrath, noticing the worry Cole seemed to have for his friend when the others didn't was child's play. The Iron Bull had his own thoughts about the Kid and Raven, none of which Cole knew how to respond to or explain. None of them were correct; they were not lovers like Christopher and Cassandra and he didn't feel that secret longing that Warden Blackwall felt when he looked at Lady Josephine or when Commander Cullen watched Raven walk away after a long, pleasant conversation. Was he supposed to, he couldn't help but wonder every time he overheard someone mention Raven and him together. In the months they'd been friends she'd never stopped or objected to him listening to her thoughts when they called out. Her song had always been so compelling that he wanted to listen, to learn, and be there for her but he never felt for her what others would think and she never felt that way for him.

"You know that we all care for her too but if something is going on with her then I need to know." Bull found himself explaining and felt like he was talking to a child.

"Raven is my friend, The Iron Bull. She tells me many things but not what you think. I- I don't know, I don't understand why she cares so little about what happens to herself. She doesn't understand that people care. Lost, unworthy, confused, 'how can they possibly...' It... hurts and I can't fix it. I don't know how and I need to." Cole explained quietly, his voice rushed and almost trembling as he looked down, shielding himself from The Iron Bull's gaze. He was shocked at the Kid's admission but didn't let it show.

"We'll get through to her. I was going to talk to her about it today but that little girl didn't give me a chance. Just keep up what you're doing and I'll work on the rest." Bull kept his voice soft and even as he spoke not wanting his friends to hear their conversation. It was pretty clear the Kid didn't want his own worries about their friend made known. Cole nodded in understanding and without a word vanished causing Bull to let out a loud unexpected curse. Fucking demons.

Cole was quiet as he entered Raven's tent. Even in the darkness he could see the second bedroll and pillow laid out for him but instead kept his attention on Raven who was fast asleep, her body sprawled out exposing her small curvy frame. Her long hair fell free from its tie and flowed over her pillow, shoulder, and face. Part of her shirt had ridden up to expose the pale tattooed skin of her stomach. She was exhausted and so he didn't wake her Cole removed his daggers from the harness on his back and held them to his chest to avoid any unnecessary noise as he sat against the stone wall and closed his eyes. As a spirit he couldn't sleep but he liked the calm. Her thoughts and dreams were quieter than normal but he could still hear her song among the thoughts of the others.

_'I wonder what they could possibly have to talk about_.' Cassandra's thoughts always seemed to cut through first and he wasn't surprised that she was curious about The Iron Bull pulling him aside.

_'I can't believe we can depart tomorrow, I'm sick of this place. Why does Bull look so grim?'_ Even Christopher's thoughts sounded tired.

' _I hope she's alright. She's lost weight since the incident at Haven.'_ Cole smiled at the concern Solas had for his friend. His thoughts were less muted than usual.

' _Shit. How the hell am I supposed to bring this up to her? Maybe Varric or Cullen? I'm not good at this... Maybe we needs someone like Josephine? If she were up for it we could always settle it my way. Why couldn't the Boss bring something stronger for us?'_ The Iron Bull's thoughts weren't surprising. It didn't take the large mans thoughts to see he cared for and respected Raven, it seemed they all did for some reason or another. 

 


	20. Back to Civilization

  
The sound of her name was what woke Raven from dreams of autumn in the Hinterlands. When she heard her name again, only louder, she found strength to open her eyes. From the breaks in the laid stone she could see it was morning. Who was that calling her? Was everyone okay? With a slight groan caused by the protesting of her stiff muscles she sat up and reached out to the opening of her space, pulling back the flap to see Solas kneeling only feet away already dressed in his usual pale green light armor.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" He asked and Raven inwardly cursed at his never ending propriety before forcing a smile and nodding. The sun was already so bright and her body felt like she'd been stomped on by a stampede of druffalo.

"Is everyone okay? What time is it?" She asked and was surprised that Cole hadn't been the one to wake her.

"Everyone is fine, it's just you and I here right now. Christopher and the others went to collect those shards you spoke of yesterday and I imagine they'll want to leave once they get back." He explained while gauging any reaction she may have. However, she simply looked dazed and he couldn't help but smile at her unusually disheveled appearance. "Why don't you get dressed and come out for some breakfast." She nodded so he stood up, dusted off his robes, and made his way back to the cooking spit. Hopefully he would have enough time to resolve the mess at hand before the others got back.

Raven appeared from her tent barely ten minutes later in one of her more functional corsets, canine hide tinted black and green, matching pair of green leather trousers, and pair of black boots with her daggers sheathed in the harness on her back. The leather armor was lighter and cooler than she'd anticipated in the desert heat. Her hair had been tied back into a messy bun, a big improvement from what it had been. Solas smiled at her as she sat down across from him and gratefully took the water he offered her.

"I would like to discuss something before the others come back." He told her. Unlike the others he wasn't afraid to bring up her recent actions.

"Is everything alright?" She asked him, her mind suddenly going to the worst possible place. Her friends face was calm as he looked at her which confused Raven even more.

"Actually I'm not sure. You would know better than I would." His reply confused her even more, "You've been more reckless than usual. I'm not the only one whose noticed and who is worried. Surely you understand that we care for you." Raven looked down and immediately regretted joining him for anything. Having someone openly admit their concern, Solas no less, wasn't something she ever expected to happen. She was close with her father, family, and friends but they always spoke with actions, not words. Still, deep down she knew they cared for her, they wouldn't want her around if they didn't. Even before Solas and Christopher knew how much help she could be they spent time with her, talked, and laughed about both silly and important things. Bull cared in the way that he liked to rile her up and watched her with the recruits, even threatening anyone whose words became too excessive. Cole especially, even though he was a spirit of compassion he insisted on being around her even though she didn't hurt.

"I do." She finally replied and Solas felt himself let out the breath he hadn't realized that he'd been holding.

"Then you can imagine how we would all feel if something were to happen to you and we were never able to see you again." Solas spoke slowly to make sure she was able to comprehend what he meant. Raven didn't look at him as she tried to understand, to put herself in their position. Her father had taught her that people die everyday and she was no different but her mind went to a month after she'd woken up in the snow, to that moment of clarity when she realized that she would never go home. She would never see her family or train with her father ever again. The emptiness made her heart ache just as it had back then. She'd give anything for her new friends and family to never feel that because of her.

"I am sorry, Solas." Her voice was barely a whisper but he heard it.

"I am not mad, Da'len. I know you aren't a malicious person so I know you didn't do it on purpose. As long as you understand that your actions don't only effect you." His reply did little to make her feel better. She should've known.

"Honestly, I never cared what happens to me. I do what needs to be done at nearly any cost. I guess being raised with that mindset kind of made me forget about how others felt. Not even my dad ever expressed concern, then again I doubt he could ever believe that I'd put that training to actual use." Solas listened to the young girl across from him who wasn't only an ally in the war against Corypheus but a friend as well. She very seldom opened up to people, even to those she considered friends but it was at least three times now that she'd trusted him despite knowing who he was. He imagined Cole being the only other since she hid nothing from the spirit but it touched him.

"I can't say much since I've never met him but I think your father would be very proud to see all that you've accomplished and what you've become." Solas replied with all honesty and moved next to her as she wiped the sudden tears from her eyes. Her cheeks turned the color of her hair.

"You can't say things like that." Raven admonished while trying not to chuckle as she wiped tears from her eyes, "That mushy sentimental crap makes me cry and crying is stupid." Solas couldn't help but laugh at her logic.

"I apologize Da'len. Will you please try to be more careful now that you understand how we feel?" She nodded at his request and before he could say anything else or move away she hugged him. It didn't last long but it was the only way she really knew how to express gratitude. When she pulled away she was quick to stand and wipe her hands on her breeches.

"I can't wait till we're out of here. Sand gets everywhere and it sucks." She grumbled and turned around in surprise when she heard Bull's loud laugh. Had she really been so distracted that she hadn't heard him or the others approach?

"That makes the rest of us." Christopher replied while coming forward to put a hand on her shoulder, "We all packed before setting out this morning. Once you're done with yours we can get the hell out of here." Raven nodded and when Christopher dropped his hand she turned to quickly make her way back to the tent. Once she was out of earshot his smile dropped and he turned to Solas.

"I presume you retrieved everything?" The elf asked and Christopher slowly nodded.

"Why was she crying?" His question wasn't unexpected and before answering Solas looked to Bull, then Cassandra, and finally to Cole whose eyes were locked on to the direction of Raven's tent. It was surprising that he hadn't already disappeared to her side.

"Since it was obvious Bull didn't know how to approach yesterday's incidents I decided to talk to her." Solas finally explained once he looked back to Christopher whose eyes widened.

"Hey, I knew exactly how to approach her about it." Bull defended even though he was lying through his teeth. In truth he was glad Solas decided to do it, he wasn't good at that type of shit.

"Clothing stripped, torn, shredded, bare skin, soft, glowing in the moonlight, eyes twinkling, excited, nervous as you bend her over. White skin turns pink through caresses and precise blows. Breath, hot and heavy, sweet musical moans full of longing. Soft whispers of apology. I don't understand how this would help, The Iron Bull?" Cole piped up and Bull looked down and at him with a smirk.

"With any luck maybe you'll understand someday. It's a lot of fun." A hand smacking his chest caused him to stumble back, not from the strength of it but surprise.

"Don't you dare teach him that." Cassandra scolded and turned to Solas, "What did you say to her?"

"She is a very compassionate and empathetic person. All I did was appeal to that side of her. I believe she will be more careful in the future." The Elf replied simply and his eyes darted to the space Cole had inhabited before he suddenly wasn't there anymore. The others didn't seem to notice.

"I have a couple soldiers preparing our mounts right now. We'll leave once she's ready. I'd still like someone to stay with her while she's in Val Royeaux since Josephine won't be able to join her." Christopher spoke in a tone that meant there was no choice on the subject and none of the companions could blame him. Val Royeaux was a dangerous place with nobles obsessed with The Game and while he trusted Raven he knew it would be better to have someone with her in case something happened. She was a beautiful young woman and had many admirers according to Josephine and all the letters she'd shown him. "What do you think Solas?"

"I imagine Cole would agree to be her companion if we were to ask. His ability to come, go, and choose whether a person sees him makes him the best choice." Solas replied while ignoring the annoyed glare Cassandra tried to discreetly shoot him. His reasons made sense, Christopher noted and nodded in agreement. It was settled then.

Back in her tent Raven made quick work of packing everything she needed. Most of it was already in Val Royeaux thanks to Josephine including the new mask she was to wear. All she needed were the clothes she brought to The Western Approach, her backpack, and her weapons. As much as she tried to keep her mind busy and focused on the task at hand she couldn't take her mind off the conversation that she'd been a part of not even half an hour ago. Shame still filled her; she should've known and was stupid not to. How could she apologize to them? Would they all be as forgiving as Solas?

"So much sadness and shame spinning around inside, tying and knotting together. It's wrong, it mutes the light and song." Cole's voice was a frantic whisper as he appeared in front of Raven, catching her off guard and causing her to jump back.

"Damnit Cole!" The curse came out before she could stop it but he didn't seem to notice.

"You know. You understand now." He continued, "Please, let me help. I can make the hurt go away. I can -" His words were cut off as Raven wasted no time coming forward and wrapping her arms around his waist. With wide eyes Cole looked down and immediately felt some of of the stray red strands that had come loose from her tie tickle his skin. His hands moved up to wrap around her small shoulders without him telling them to. "I can help you."

"You do so much already. I'm sorry Cole." Her words were quiet but he heard them. She wasn't only apologizing for the last couple days but for any time she'd worried him as if knowing there were many. Cole wasn't sure what to say, no one had ever come to him wanting his forgiveness. He was always the one to apologize. Her pain had slowly started to fade but it was still there under the skin, so contrite in realizing her actions, 'please forgive me'.

"It's okay. If you don't understand and no one tells you then how can you know?" He chose his words carefully knowing that he could not take them back. She wouldn't let him. Raven looked up at him, her eyes still red from crying earlier making the green irises stand out even more.

"I should've known." Was her reply and then as if she realized how close she was to him she pushed herself away, "Sorry, I didn't mean to just throw myself on you."

"You needed comfort. I am happy that you chose me." His reply was simple but it caused her to smile before she turned to pick up the two bags she'd packed and left the covered space. Cole followed just in time to see her stop in front of the others. Her words were soft and whatever she said Cole was too far to hear. She looked so small compared to the others especially The Iron Bull. The Qunari stepped forward and put a giant hand on Raven's shoulder. Solas looked over to him and gave a reassuring smile.

 

  
Val Royeaux hadn't changed much in the months since Raven's last visit. Autumn was evident in the trees, instead of the bright green they had been the leaves were now multiple shades of red, orange, and yellow. On their way to her suite Christopher watched as Raven seemed to become an entirely different person. Her posture became straighter, she held her head higher, and he noticed the calculated reactions she gave as some of the nobles wandering through the downtown marketplace stopped to talk to her; the men bowing low and taking her hand to place a kiss on the knuckles while the women greeted her with kisses on each cheek. It was strange to see.

"Was she like this at Skyhold?" He asked Bull quietly and the Qunari nodded.

"This? This is child's play compared to Skyhold, Boss. Are you sure you want Cole to be the one to stay with her?" Bull asked almost hesitantly. It wasn't like he wanted to be the one to stay in Orlais with Raven and deal with the pompous assholes that were the cities nobility but it was a reasonable question. He liked Cole but the Kid even put him on edge with that mind reading and disappearing crap. There was no telling what reactions would come from the people who didn't know him. Shit, why couldn't Dorian or Viv be there with them?

"Cole doesn't need to stay with me." Raven quietly protested as she lead them to her suite. One of Leliana's agents met them at the door and with a formal greeting announced that the suite passed inspection before rushing off on other business. It was the same suite Raven had during her last visit and they watched from the doorway as she threw her bags onto the table and made her way into another room.

"Is she exploring?" Cassandra asked.

"She's making tea." Cole answered her, "The men want her. The women like that she doesn't want them. She is safe here but I want to stay."

"You'll have to talk to her about it. There's only so much I can do." Christopher looked at Cole as he spoke, struggling to see the spirit's blue eyes from under the long blond hair. Cole opened his mouth to reply but stopped and looked to the door that she came out of seconds later with a smile. She must like that new tea, he thought.

"You guys are welcome to stay the night and head out tomorrow." She offered politely noticing how late in the day it was, "There should be enough space and I have water heating up for tea."

"Thank you. We'll head out first thing in the morning to prevent any hinderances to your meetings." It was Solas who accepted her offer. It had been a long journey to Val Royeaux and he didn't mind the idea of sleeping in a bed instead of riding all night. Christopher looked back at him and nodded in agreement.

"That's great. There's no hinderances or anything like that. I'm here a couple days early so I was going to stop by the Cousland's shop, maybe the bookstore, and definitely take a few baths..." Raven explained but trailed off halfway through her sentence. It felt like she was rambling. "If you'd like we can go to this cafe I know of or I can cook. Josephine sent word ahead and the kitchen is stocked."

"You can cook?" Bull asked suddenly not sure if he'd heard her correctly. Raven just nodded, "Why don't you?"

"The kitchens are a busy place. I give them recipes though if that counts for anything." She answered nonchalantly while giving him a shrug. They really didn't know much about her, she thought to herself but did anything but blame them. She was the one who didn't open up. "Why don't you guys make yourselves comfortable, take baths, and change. I'll start on dinner."

 

  
"So we'll see you in a couple weeks." Christopher bid her farewell with a hug, "If something happens I'll send word." Raven smiled up at him when he let her go and nodded. Maybe it was because she was still half asleep but it seemed like last night had flown by. Cole helped her in the kitchen once she'd made the decision of cooking dinner for everyone and between the food, wine, and stories that seemed to naturally come out in good company it was late by the time everyone chose to retire. Even Solas lingered later than usual and even offered to help her clean which she respectively declined.

"Sounds good. Send a raven anyway when you get home so I don't have to worry." She requested while readjusting the blanket around her frame. Cole had been the one to wake her not long ago to announce that everyone was leaving. She'd stumbled out of bed and simply walked downstairs not caring if she was in a tank top and her favorite boy shorts or that her hair was undone, slightly fuzzy, and falling in her face. Her appearance had caught Christopher, Bull, and Cassandra off guard. Solas just smirked while Cole paid no mind, he'd seen her that way more times than she cared to count.

"Do not worry Da'len. I'll make sure you are kept updated. Please make sure you allow us that same courtesy." The elf mage's request came easy and she nodded in agreement.

"Dareth shiral, Hahren." Solas smiled at her farewell, the Elven seemed to simply flow off her tongue without a second thought and it was a... fun feeling that they could converse with one another in a way most around them couldn't understand.

Once goodbyes were said and all but one friend remained Raven shut and locked the door and turned to Cole seated on the large wooden table not far from the fireplace.

"You're sure you want to stay with me?" She asked and only received a nod from him. "You are more than welcome to. I'm still very tired so I'm going to go back to sleep for a while."

"You like autumn." Cole spoke and Raven nodded curious as to what thought he gleaned that seemed important enough to bring it into conversation so early. "Leaves changing; red, yellow, orange, cold air hitting your cheeks and blowing your hair back as you jump in pile after pile of leaves. Hot cocoa, soft sweaters. Sitting around campfires listening to Uncle David try to play that out of tune lute."

"Guitar. It's called a guitar." Her voice was soft as she spoke. It was way too early in the morning for those kinds of memories. "I think I'm just going to get ready for the day. If it's not too much trouble can you make me some tea?"

Cole merely nodded and remained seated as Raven gave him one last smile and made her way up the stairs. She reminded him of the cats around Skyhold; graceful, soft languid movements, climbing, watching, so hard to predict. The moment her door closed he moved to the edge of the table, extended his legs, and put them to the floor. He normally would've just thought about it and been there in an instant but he liked looking at the paintings on the wall as he walked by. One caught his eye the night before, giant trees with green leaves, green grass, even green moss covering rocks along a waterfall in the distance. The Emerald Graves, that was the paintings title, and Cole couldn't help but wonder what it would look like in Autumn before he made his way into the kitchen.

The room itself was massive with a giant countertop in the center across from the fireplace and cooking spits. Cupboards along the wall and various tables held assortments of dry ingredients and a closed box bearing the symbol of an ice glyph, no doubt courtesy of Solas or one of the circle mages, held milk, butter, chunks of meat, and eggs. The fruit and cheese she chose to keep out and was sitting on a table to the left. Cole wasted no more time looking around as he gathered what was needed and began working on making tea. The blend she had created smelled spicier than normal with cinnamon and cardamom seeds. Better with milk and sugar, he remembered her thoughts from the night before.

"So what would you like to do today?" He heard her ask as she entered the kitchen so softly even he didn't hear her muffled footsteps. Cole turned to face her.

"I don't know what there is to do. You're the only one to ever ask me that." He replied while noticing that she was in similar clothes from the day before, however it was all black making her red hair appear even brighter against the material. Her mask was also black, made of lace with small shiny white stones near the eyes. She wasn't wearing it, he'd seen it the night before. She would have to wear it if she went out now that she owned one. Cole never understood the custom, he could still hear their thoughts and see the pain under the masks and he knew Raven could too.

"I'd like to see if there are any new fabrics at Adrian and Delphine's shop. If you wanted to explore the city, come with me, or even stay here it doesn't bother me. Just be safe and come get me if you need help." She replied in earnest.

 

  
An hour later Cole quietly followed Raven into the Cousland's store. He wasn't close enough to touch her but could still feel her warmth. Her song was soft, pleasant, and resounded through his being. Excited, anxious, happy; that was what she was at that moment and Cole found himself thrumming with quiet excitement and happiness because of it. The woman seated at a table in the middle of the large room, dressed in green with tied back brown hair looked up and smiled at Raven's presence. It was a wide smile filled with as much excitement as the petite redhead beside him.

"Raven!" The girl exclaimed in a high voice as she stood up to begin the quick journey to them, "It's been so long. Adrian and I just sent a letter yesterday to tell you of the new fabrics that arrived." There was so much fabric last time, Cole thought to himself as the giant blanket on her bed at the suite came to mind. At Raven's request Lady Josephine had it sent to be with her for the couple weeks they were to be in the city.

"I guess it's good timing. How have you and your brother been" Raven asked with a genuine interest that Cole could see the brunette wasn't used to. In Val Royeaux everyone only cared about themselves, power, and pain.

"We've been well. The shop has had a significant increase in business ever since it became known that an official of the Inquisition does business with us. Speaking of, that outfit looks great on you. I'm glad it turned out as nice as it did." Delphine complimented while taking a step back to observe the outfit they had made for her. The mask was a change, black like her outfit with small diamond-like stones.

"Well I wasn't planning on having anything made today. Fabric sounds nice though." Cole watched in silence as the young brunette's smile grew and she lead his friend to the collection on fabric bolts on the other side of the store. The young woman, Delphine, didn't hurt like the others. She was happy, her song nearly soaring as she laughed at something Raven must've said. Cole willed himself to be seen and as if she could sense the sudden presence Delphine looked over to him. Raven's followed.

"Good morning, Sir." She greeted kindly.

"Hey Cole." Raven greeted simply and turned back to inspect the fabric. She was wondering when he'd choose to make himself known.

"I apologize I didn't see you come in. Is there anything I can help you with?" Cole shook his head and Raven turned to Delphine again.

"He's here with me. Cole's part of the Inquisition and one of my best friends." She explained causing Delphine's smile to widen in understanding before coming forward to properly introduce herself, growing a little more nervous the closer she came to him. Cole, as Raven introduced him was tall with a slim build, had bright blond hair under a large hat, and barely visible light blue eyes. They depth and color reminded her of the lake on her Uncle's farm back in Ferelden. She wasn't normally the type to judge a person based off looks alone but his large hat and patchy leathers made her think of a farmer instead of a member of the Inquisition, especially someone Raven would keep so close. Was he a fellow diplomat, or maybe a rogue. Delphine was in front of him at that moment and looking up at him it was obvious that he'd seen more pain and death than anyone so young should. He continued to look at her as she held out her hand in greeting.

"My name is Delphine. My brother and I own this shop. It's nice to meet another member of the Inquisition." She remained polite despite the sudden unnerving sensation coursing through her as Cole's eyes met hers.

"It was so hot that day. Dry grass scraping your feet didn't matter because that moment you jumped in the air laughing, flying, falling into the lake trying to make the bigger splash. The cold water feels good on hot skin, Aunt Leanna will kill me when she sees I got my dress wet. She does miss you." Cole spoke quietly and Delphine couldn't look away. His eyes looked through her, bringing up the memory like it was playing out in front of him then suddenly he stepped back, blue eyes wide, "I'm Cole."

Raven watched him from the corner of her eye, her hands running along the smooth ring velvet in her hands. She watched as he moved around Delphine who turned to watch Cole make his way over to the fabric section to join Raven in silence. His eyes were wide, fingers twitching though he didn't seem to notice. When he was close enough she let go of the fabric and brought her hands to his cheeks. He seemed warmer than usual but she paid no mind as she kept a hand on his pale skin and removed his large hat with the other.

"I'm sorry. It was a good memory. Deep down she wanted to remember it." He spoke quietly, no doubt not noticing the way his face pressed into her open palm. She set his hat down on an empty bolt and keeping her calm smile she brushed his long hair back.

"Why are you apologizing then?" The question was a simple one.

"Solas told me some things are inappropriate to say. Some people don't like it but I did it anyway." He replied and Raven couldn't help but let out a short laugh and watch Delphine come up to them both, her eyes still on Cole.

"You are such a sweetheart. If you think you did something wrong then apologize to the one you feel you offended. She's right behind you. Delphine, once he's done can we take his measurements?"

 

  
"So he's really part of the Inquisition?" Delphine finally asked after Cole had gone into the fitting room. Raven looked over at her friend and nodded.

"Yeah. When the Red Templars attacked Haven Cole was the one to come and warn everyone. He saved my life that night." Raven replied as she continued to look at the drape Cole has pulled closed moments before, listening in case he needed assistance.

"That's remarkable! What happened?"

"While Christopher and the others were fighting the Red Templars and working on aiming the trebuchets I was busy evacuating the homes and sending civilians to the Chantry. A Red Templar caught me off guard and I couldn't dodge him. As I lay there with him on top of me, struggling to breathe as the behemoth had his hands wrapped around my throat Cole appeared from behind and killed the bastard. Blood was everywhere." As Raven spoke Delphine just looked at the woman casually leaning back against the counter, Cole's hat and her mask on top of the order form for even more fabric and an outline for a new dress. She had taken the thing off shortly after the fabric order was completed. Delphine couldn't picture her fighting, even with the daggers she'd seen. Raven had that air of regality; grace, confidence, and the ability to read people she seemed more like a diplomat than anything else.

"We never did discuss your official position with the Inquisition. You fight and spend time with the nobility? Are your family nobles?" Raven shook her head.

"Mom was an artist when she was alive and Dad is a former soldier who taught me a vast array of things from weapon training, languages, cooking, the list goes on. You knew I helped train the soldiers."

"But you really fight out in the field? You're so small." Raven laughed and at that moment Cole hesitantly opened the curtain and stepped out, his patchy shirt replaced with one of a similar pattern but all black. It made his blond hair and blue eyes appear brighter if that were possible.

"It's very soft." He simply stated.

"Is it comfortable? Do you like it?" When he nodded quietly in response to Raven's questions the young girl straightened and walked over to her friend. After a few quick commands consisting of basic arm and body movements she nodded. "Why don't you take it off and give it to me."

"I have money. You don't need to buy it for me." Cole quietly protested as her thoughts lingered in both their minds. Raven smiled up at him.

"I don't need to do anything but you like it. I like you in it. So please take it off and let me buy it for you." Her smile nearly made it seem like he had a choice in the matter but Delphine knew better as she watched the two together and suddenly looked away with a small noise as Cole reached down and removed his shirt before Raven or she could object and gave it to her.

"Are you alright Raven?" He asked, his eyes going wide in concern as she looked away.

"Go back in and put your shirt on please." She replied quietly still processing that he'd just so casually stripped in front of her. It wasn't like she'd never seen a man without a shirt. Between Bull, her father, and the male trainers she'd had she was used to it. What she wasn't used to was her mouth suddenly going dry as he stripped. She never expected his skin to be so smooth and pale or for muscles to subtly move against that skin. That was something she'd never expected or even thought about, even in the game. Instead of moving right away Cole lifted a hand and gently brought it to her forehead before doing as she requested. Once the drape was closed Raven moved back to where she was standing before.

"So... He's a rogue like you?" Delphine asked, eager to get her mind off at the sudden brazen indecency.

"Yes he is." Raven's reply was simple, her voice quiet and Delphine continued to watch her as she ran her fingers through her long red hair.

"He's quite accomplished, I presume?"

"Let's put it this way," Raven replied and finally looked over to Delphine with a smile as she thought back to the sparring match that seemed so long ago, "If there was anyone in the Inquisition that could match me in stamina and do damage it's him." Part of her liked how Delphine's eyes widened. What Raven didn't know was that it wasn't just her words that surprised her friend, it was the look of pure adoration Raven held as she spoke of the young man not fifteen feet from them.


	21. Mourning

"I said you can't go, you are too valuable to the Inquisition so stop bringing it up!" Christopher's voice was loud enough to be heard from the main hall as he spoke to the stubborn redhead standing across from him, yet again, braced for battle. Ever since Hawke and Stroud sent word three weeks ago about the Wardens at Adamant Raven had been insisting she come along and fight, something Christopher and nearly every other member of the Inner Circle and Advising Party was against.  
  
"Why the hell not?" She demanded, "I offered to write you a goddamn book with all the information I know only for you to shoot it down. Besides, not only do I have more experience in scouting than most of the inner circle combined but I am one of the best fighters you have!" Christopher knew it was true but if something went wrong and she was captured or killed they would be left in the dark whether she decided to write it all down or not. He thought the talk Solas had with her had worked.  
  
"You aren't going. Whether you like it or not Raven you are too important to our cause and everyone in it. I won't take the risk of throwing you into the mix of hundreds of Demons, Red Templars, and mind-washed Grey Wardens thinking blood sacrifice is the right choice when you're barely making the right choices yourself. Stop acting like a child." Raven could feel her body shaking, blood pounding in her ears, and knew that the anger she felt was clouding her judgment but couldn't find it in herself to let it go. When he told her weeks ago who he planned on taking which was nearly everyone, including Cullen, except her she was furious. Why did she have to open her damned mouth about what she knew? She was a fucking idiot. She should've just gone about her business training the soldiers and kept the information away from Solas and everyone else.  
  
"Stop being so goddamn overbearing then. I can take care of myself, you don't know what all can happen! The knowledge I have can prove useful."  
  
"I know it can. I has time and time again but you're still not going."  
  
"So I'm just supposed to give you information then sit here like a caged bird waiting until you need more? Fuck you, Christopher. If that's how I'm to be treated after everything I've done then you won't get another motherfucking thing out of me." Her voice had gone calm and the hurt in her eyes made him look away. She was serious, he knew that just like he also knew that if she chose to run she probably wouldn't be found. She'd told them what she knew on her own volition but was she truly capable of holding in that information if she were captured? When he looked up again, hesitant to do so, he was surprised to see that she was no longer in front of him. She wasn't even in the room and it caused him to curse. Fucking rogues.  
  
Raven descended the stairs quickly with as much grace as she could muster. Her mind was racing and she needed to move, to spar, to give pain, even receive it if necessary. Sitting in a damned padded chair and talking about it over tea was useless and despite the countless things she'd done to help and prove herself it was like none of it mattered. She knew life wasn't fair, it fucking proved that when it ripped her from her home, family, friends, everything she knew, and threw her into a damned video game she was truly starting to hate.  
  
Hushed voices met her ears as she entered the main hall but she kept moving, ignoring the sudden calls from Varric as she left the main hall and made her way down the stairs. She wasn't surprised that Cole met her at the foot of them, his eyes wide and frantic as he gently grabbed her arm causing her to stop.  
  
"So much anger, hate, blood flowing, heart pounding, you want to hurt. I can't hurt you. I won't. Not with real daggers." He replied to her silent question, though it was more of a screaming plea at that moment and her pain hurt Cole more than he could ever remember being hurt before. With a small nod he disappeared and she made her way to the sparring ring. By the time she'd discarded the daggers from her back and took off the dragonling scale jacket to expose a simple sleeveless shirt to go along with cotton pants he was back with two sets of weighted practice daggers. With the quick removal of her shoes she accepted the daggers and wasted no time making the first move.  
  
At first her dodges and lunges were sloppy out of anger but quickly became more quick, calculated, and harder for Cole to predict and deflect. Her mind was screaming, full of things she did and didn't understand, things he couldn't possibly explain because in that moment it wasn't him she was fighting even though it was him that she needed. It wasn't Skyhold she was in. She was back home, her true home with screaming music and loved ones she could be her true self around, none of them were real, and she didn't know what she knew now. She'd accepted months ago that she would never go back to that place but never mourned the way she needed to. She threw herself into training, learning, planning, and helping Christopher and anyone else who needed it because kept her mind off the pain, even he couldn't see it at first but the more she grew to trust him, care about him, she let him see the truth.  
  
Raven rounded off a wooden post to his right so fast he almost didn't have time to move out of the way, her practice dagger still hit him though, hitting his leg as she skidded past him. As he turned Cole was surprised to see Raven standing there breathing heavy, hair no longer tied up but damp and falling in waves down her back and shoulders, shirt and pants torn, and blood coming from wounds she'd received. The Iron Bull, Varric, Solas, Cullen, and Christopher all stood in a group behind the fence and then Cole also noticed that the sun was no longer in the sky. They had been at it for hours and now that Cole was no longer moving and attacking he could feel a dull ache settle in his limbs. Was he bleeding too? None of that mattered. She mattered, she was still hurting but had worn herself down to exhaustion. What would she do now, Cole wondered but then realized that she didn't even know the answer to that question. She was hungry, thirsty, and hurt but she didn't want anything at  
the same time.  
  
"I think it might be best to put any position I have in the Inquisition on hold for a while." She told him before moving past him with her practice daggers leaving the real ones and her jacket behind as she made her way to the stairs and began her ascension. Cole wanted to follow but she wanted to be alone.  
  
"What did you do?" It was Cullen who spoke and Cole could sense the anger and worry rolling off him in waves.  
  
"She won't let me make her forget so healing the hurt is harder. She needed to hurt and be hurt, to exhaust herself and part of the wrong inside her and I was the only one she wanted." Cole explained in the best way he could and immediately felt something else from the Commander, the same thing Dorian was starting to feel when watching The Iron Bull talk to other women and men. Jealousy.  
  
"She's acting like a brat." Christopher retorted and Cole could feel himself glare at his friend. "She's too important to risk losing at Adamant. If she doesn't like my choice maybe it's best her position is halted." He didn't know, didn't understand. Raven kept it from him, from all of them.  
  
"Inquisitor it's because of her that half the nobles of Orlais support us the way they do." Cullen argued.  
  
"I don't care about them. I care about one of our best soldiers and informants and my friend wanting to put herself in harms way then throwing a tantrum like a child when I say no. Honestly, what could she have to gain?" Christopher continued to rant and Cole had to strain to keep his hands at his side.  
  
"Peace." Cole replied and wasn't surprised when Christopher looked to him.  
  
"I want answers. Now."  
  
  
Christopher's room was the one place in the castle Cole had never been in. It wasn't that he couldn't but because he never wanted to so as he appeared in the middle of it standing atop a large rug looking through open windows to a view of the moon across the mountains Cole didn't pay it much mind. Raven was hurting and what made it worse was she didn't know what to do, didn't know how to express the pain she felt, and Christopher was angry because of it. Would he understand if told? Right now she was in her room, lying on her bed, still clothed with wounds untouched. She didn't want to be there anymore, didn't want to be with any of them. It hurt, not just her but him too. He could see into the deepest part of her mind at will but what could he possibly say to help right the wrong and hurt? What could he do? Cole didn't have time to act as the door to Christopher's door swiftly opened and then closed with a slam.  
  
"Cole?" He cried out as if not sure Cole was there.  
  
"Yes?" His reply had Christopher coming up the stairs instead of leaving to find him. Once in his room Christopher resigned himself to sit on the lounge to face the spirit. Cole knew what was going on and Christopher was tired of being kept in the dark by his temperamental friend. "You don't like being angry."  
  
"No I don't so why don't you tell me what is going through Raven's mind to put me at ease." It wasn't a question, that Cole knew. Christopher wanted answers, all of them and Cole wondered what he was expecting. "Cole, the more I know the more I can make an educated guess and help her." That was all Christopher wanted to do. He wanted to help just like Cole did. She was his friend.  
  
"She can never go home. She doesn't know how." Cole could tell his words confused Christopher. No doubt he was thinking that Skyhold was her home, that they were her family. "She will never see her father again. No more screaming music during training, no more time spent with uncles, campfires, games and sleepovers with friends. So she fights, trains, throws herself into anything that will help her not think of it. Anything to make her not hurt because being alone and doing nothing allows the hurt to grow and spread." Well shit, Christopher thought as he stared at Cole now pacing back and forth, twitching fingers picking at his gloves. He tried to see the spirit's face but his hat was down and his movements were too quick. He didn't understand; How long had she felt that way? Why didn't she tell them? Was it something she had told Cole or something he'd seen in her mind.  
  
"Cole." The spirit stopped when he heard his name and looked over at Christopher.  
  
"She can't tell you if she doesn't understand it. The pain and wrong have grown so much, she doesn't know how to stop it and she won't let me make her forget. It's been months." His voice was quiet as he answered Christopher's unasked questions, "Before the sky was closed. Before you saved the mages. Before I came to help." Cole stepped back as Christopher stood up suddenly very angry, more than he had been when Raven stood in the same spot Cole was at that moment.  
  
"How long have you known?" He asked.  
  
"Weeks. I've been trying to help, to unravel the wrong but it's hard. She never took time to think and feel so its jumbled, confused." And that was the problem, Christopher thought. If Raven never took the time to sort through what happened and allow herself to mourn in the way that was needed he could understand how it would reach a breaking point. She was young and he was surprised she lasted as long as she did.  
  
"What do you think I should do?"  
  
"Keep her here, safe. The hurt won't untangle if you don't make her face it. I can help her, make her stronger. Happier." With a nod from Christopher Cole disappeared leaving him to his own thoughts. How could she have possibly gone so long with those feelings inside her and how had he or anyone else not thought of that possibility and that she was perfectly fine? Something ripped her from her previous life and while she nearly thrived here having shown a fraction of what she could do she was alone in her suffering, never showing it or opening up to them. How was he supposed to know? What was he supposed to do? Everyone had seen her below in the sparring match barely holding anything back and even if they hadn't Cole was sheer proof of what she could do. His pants and shirt were torn, the wounds she caused were healed but dried blood remained on his clothes, skin, face, and even in his hair. She would've most likely killed anyone else. Could spirits die? He knew Cole meant too much to Raven for her to lose control and let that happen.  
  
  
The air was cool the next morning and even with about two hours of sleep Raven was awake out of habit but she had yet to leave the comfort and warmth of her bed. Her body hurt, her limbs stiff, and she felt like shit but she needed to get down to the practice fields.  
  
"You're not training the soldiers today."Cole's soft voice caused her to look over in the direction of the table only to see him seated in a chair less than a foot from her bed. Even in the dim light of the candles he'd lit she could see that he had yet to remove the dried blood from his face and hair making her instantly regret her actions the night before.  
  
"Why am I not training today?" She asked while slowly sitting up in her bed.  
  
"Covering up the hurt doesn't make it go away." His reply was soft, calm, and Raven wanted to brush it off.  
  
"I'm not hurting Cole, we've been over this." And it was true. Weeks ago in the Western Approach he'd caught her at a particularly vulnerable moment, one she didn't care to remember. Shortly after the taking of Griffon Wing Keep, during their down time, Raven had time to reminisce about the past and the time her father had brought her to the Grand Canyon. Looking out over the cliffs not only brought back those memories, it brought back others as well. Cole had sensed it and was by her side in an instant ready with warm hugs and words she needed to hear even if she didn't realize it. That moment brought on a lot more than either of them anticipated; the reckless behavior, Cole never being too far away, and even the significant lack of sleeping and loss of apatite over the last few weeks.  
  
"You are. It's there. Loud, screaming, muting your song, muting everything that makes you, you and I can't let that happen." Cole argued while standing up from the chair he was sitting in and moving over to the bed. He could feel the warmth coming from her skin.  
  
"I'm not good at this." She said quietly as she looked at him. "The realization that I was never going home, losing everyone I've known my entire life. How the hell does a person deal with that, how am I supposed to?"  
  
"Let me help. I won't make you forget, I promise." Raven stared at him for a moment before she began untangling herself from her blanket and moving around him to stand up even though her muscles protested. She needed to change, wipe the dried blood from her skin, and then do the same for Cole. It was only fair since she'd been the one to put it there. She was aware of his eyes on her as she stripped her pants and shirt on the short way to the giant bowl full of water across the room. Not bothering to comb her hair she threw it into a simple bun and made quick work of doing what needed to be done surprised by the amount of blood and cuts on her skin. It made her smile and look back at Cole.  
  
"Short of killing me you didn't hold back." It was funny in its own way.  
  
"You would have been angry if I had." He replied, knowing that would've been the case. She would've been furious and most likely not have stopped when she did.  
  
"Angry? Yes but not with you." She turned back and continued scrubbing her skin to rid it of the dirt and blood not caring if the water was cold. "Somehow you're special to me and I can't - I can't imagine ever being upset with you." Not used to such sentimentality, even with Cole, Raven stumbled through the admission. It had been something she'd grown to feel over the months he'd been with them and something she'd always thought when they were together but she'd never said it out loud. He deserved to hear it though, he kept her grounded and was always there to protect her. She knew it was his purpose as a spirit of compassion but it still meant so much. When she turned around he was still sitting on the bed facing her. His hat and jacket were on the chair he'd been in before.  
  
"You are special too. You don't know how special you are to some." Cole heard himself reply, amazed that he could. Something was different, wrong. He felt warm, too warm even, and restless and he didn't understand why. His eyes followed Raven's half dressed form as she walked over to the dresser and pulled out a large shirt which she threw on without a care, the light black material landing mid thigh.  
  
"Can you take off your shirt for me? I'd like to get that blood off you."Cole nodded in response to her question and did as she asked while she brought over the bowl of water, another chair, and gently started working on his skin with the wet rag. It was quiet between them with Raven focused on the task at hand that Cole took the time to watch her long, nimble fingers flex and move to control the pressure of that rag on his skin. "Will you stay with me today? I don't want to be alone." She asked, green eyes flashing up to him.  
  
"You're staying here." His reply wasn't an order. Her mind told him. He was right, she couldn't distract herself forever.  
  
"Yes."  
  
  
"I'm worried about her." Josephine's voice cut through the silence that was supposed to be the war council. It has been the first one Raven hadn't attended since accepting her new role as Advisor and her absence felt wrong to all of them.  
  
"Cole is with her." Christopher replied from his place against the table, his hands playing with some of the markers currently placed in Orlais. Truthfully he was worried as well. He thought over the words he'd spoken to her not a week before and it had been the last time he'd seen her.  
  
"And what could he possibly do?" Cullen snapped even though he didn't mean to. It had been a very stressful five days with her recruits' constant worry on top of his own. The sight of her in the sparring ring bleeding and exhausted stayed with him and he saw it every time he closed his eyes.  
  
"Whether we like it or not Cole knows her better than any of us. Surely he'll come to us if something happens. Until then we have to wait." Leliana spoke up from the chair she was seated in.  
  
"That spirit is the reason she was in that state!" Cullen yelled, only partly true.  
  
"Enough."  
  
"But Inquisitor -"  
  
"I said enough, Cullen. There's a lot to blame for what she's going through right now including Raven, herself. I won't have you putting all the blame on Cole when he's the only one who knows what's going on in that messed up head of hers and the only one she's reaching out to." The frustration in Christopher's voice was evident but there were no other choices on the matter. A knock on the heavy too den doors followed by the creaking of hinges brought their attention to the entrance of the War Room and every mouth opened when they saw Raven standing there looking at them. She seemed smaller, her pants hung from her hips, and her skin was nearly transparent with red hair flowing untamed down her back.  
  
"I heard a meeting was called." Even her voice was softer, nearly horse as if she'd been crying.  
  
"You're under no obligation to be here." Cullen spoke up fighting to keep still instead of going over and wrapping her in his arms.  
  
"I know but you're going to discuss Adamant." Her reply was simple, factual, and Christopher nodded.  
  
"I still don't want you going." He told her as he moved closer to her. Her past reckless behavior was no longer his concern. At that moment it was how small and frail she seemed. He wouldn't risk even sending her to the Hinterlands in her physical state. Still, Raven laughed and made her way to one of the empty chairs around the mapped table. They watched her as she flipped it around and straddled the thing.  
  
"Trust me, I don't want to go." She replied.  
  
"Are you alright?" It was Josephine that asked and Raven struggled to find the right answer. The last five days had been hell and it wasn't over, not by a long shot. Her body still hurt, her voice was raspy, and her eyes itched from the nearly impossible amount of tears that had come from them but her friends needed the information she had.  
  
"No but I will be." She finally replied and then looked at them all, one by one. "I'm sorry for all the worry I've caused over the last couple months, especially the last five days." Her eyes stayed on Christopher, "If you'll allow it I would like to remain an advisor an carry out my responsibilities as such but I'd rather not be in the field."  
  
"Another distraction?" Christopher asked and Raven shook her head.  
  
"No more distractions. I would rather be productive. It makes me feel better than just lying in bed all day." She explained while looking down to play with her thumbs. She could hear Cullen come closer to her and everyone was surprised that she didn't move, didn't even flinch when his gloved hand came up to rest on her shoulder. She expected him of all people to say something, to scold her or object but he kept silent, his thumb stroking one of the sore muscles in her upper back, something only Leliana seemed to  notice.  
  
"On one condition," Christopher finally spoke after what seemed like half an hour of silence between them, "I want you to be honest with us from now on, understand? You aren't only one of the best fighters in the Inquisition, you're also my friend and friends don't typically pull the shit you did. If something is bothering you then you tell someone, anyone."  
  
When Raven nodded Christopher smiled and the subject was closed. As she sat in her chair, not minding at all that Cullen was so close to her, gently working out the sore parts under her skin and listening to the plans for Adamant. The path had been created, soldiers were ready, and Hawke and Stroud had apparently set up camp a mile from the fortress.  
  
"You have four trebuchets. Any chance we can get a ballista or two?" Raven asked so suddenly that it caused Christopher, who was speaking, to go quiet. "You're going to need force to break into that place. Flinging rocks is all fine and dandy but unless you take every factor into consideration such as weight, strength, weather, etc., they can be unpredictable. Even one ballista will increase your chances because it can be aimed and all that force is going to one exact place. Henry has a couple, I can write him a personal letter asking for assistance." Raven offered while turning her attention to Josephine.  
  
"Henry?" The Ambassador asked not entirely sure who Raven meant.  
  
"Duke Henry Durand. He showed them to me when I was in Orlais a few weeks ago." The young redhead explained and Josephine's eyes lit up.  
  
"It certainly doesn't hurt." She replied and looked to Christopher, "Do you object?"  
  
"No, do it. Raven what do you know about what's supposed to happen?" He was hesitant to ask that question, not sure if he wanted to know. They needed that information though. She leaned forward and moved her long hair over her shoulder, a subtle command for Cullen to continue his ministrations.  
  
"Erimond will be there with Clarel, a pride demon will be summoned, the dragon Corypheus controls will show up, and you and your main party will end up in the fade. Physically in the fade and you will have to make a choice because from what I know one will have to stay. Cullen, you're hurting me." She looked back and up to the Commander who let go so fast it was as if she'd burned him.  
  
"What do you mean someone will have to stay?" Leliana asked coming forward to lean on the table across from Raven.  
  
"Hawke or Stroud. Unless you can conjure a miracle and save both one will stay and I refuse to make that choice." Either choice would devastate hundreds and Raven refused to have any part of it.  
  
"But there's a chance." Christopher replied. Raven nodded and looked away. She looked exhausted and probably felt worse but at least she wasn't hiding it anymore. He had to keep his mind focused though if they were to have any chance at Adamant, especially if what she'd just told them really happened. "We'll think of something. We have to."


	22. Choices

"Raven, you need to calm down. Worrying won't make them arrive any faster." Josephine spoke from her desk as she watched her friend pacing back and forth around the room not noticing her cat quietly and patiently padding after her. It was clear the redhead had yet to sleep and Josephine couldn't blame the poor girl. A raven from Cullen had come in a week ago about the events that had taken place at Adamant. Clarel was killed by the dragon Corypheus controlled, Erimond was in their custody, and Christopher actually pulled off that miracle; both Hawke and Stroud managed to leave the fade alive and the Grey Wardens now belonged to the Inquisition. It had been a significant victory that had been needed.  
  
"They were supposed to arrive yesterday!" Raven replied with a groan as she flipped down into one of the chairs with such little grace that it made Josephine flinch. Zevran wasted no time jumping up and curling into a small, purring ball on Raven's lap.  
  
"Cullen gave an estimated date to return." The Ambassador replied.  
  
"Well Cullen's a butthead." Raven shot back not caring if she sounded like a child in that moment. Josephine couldn't help but stifle a giggle.  
  
"Sometimes," The Ambassador agreed, "but he's also the kind of man who likes to make sure everything is taken care of, you especially. I've seen how he still looks at you." Raven continued to pet her cat feeling him purr as she reached the spot behind his ears. Everyone could see the way Cullen looked at her, ever since her minor breakdown, five day absence spent in her room with Cole, and her slow recovery Cullen had nearly been up her ass making sure she slept well, ate regularly, and trying to make sure she was alright with training the recruits. It was sweet in its own way but the constant attentiveness and watching her was maddening.  
  
"I don't know what I can do to make that stop. I've already told him that with everything going on it isn't fair to entertain the notion of something happening. That one, surprisingly amazing kiss aside, I don't like him that way." Raven vented, her hand moving to the kittens backside, smiling when the cats long fuzzy tail came up and brushed her cheek.  
  
"What about Cole?" Josephine asked hesitantly and she did everything she could to not look away as Raven's head snapped toward her. Sure, Cole was a spirit but he'd also been changing dramatically in the recent months. Josephine wasn't the only one to notice how his demeanor had changed, toward Raven most of all.  
  
"What about him?" Raven asked after a moment of silence. How had they gone from discussing Cullen to Cole?  
  
"What about your relationship with him? From what I've been told you share the same tent when you're together in the field and presumably when you're here as well. Have you not felt anything in that time?" Josephine asked, spelling it out because it was obvious Raven didn't understand. She could tell once the small redhead did as she looked away and paid very close attention to the cat still purring on her lap.  
  
Have you heard back from your friend about the Rivani amulet?" Raven finally spoke and that she blatantly ignored the question and switched topics gave Josephine more answers than Raven probably realized.  
  
"Not yet, are you sure it will be needed?" Raven nodded in reply already not looking forward to how Cole will be once they arrive. What could she possibly say to him? To any of them? No doubt it was terrifying and Raven truly didn't envy what they had gone through. Before anything else could be said the signal bell rang causing Raven to grab Zevran so he didn't fall as she stood up. That bell meant they had returned and Raven as well as Josephine wasted no time rushing through the main hall, around some of the foreign nobles and diplomats, and down the large stairs to the lower courtyard where Leliana and some healers stood waiting in case they were needed.  
  
"I just received word from my agents not long before the bell sounded. The Grey Warden's are in the valley below making camp with the others but Stroud and Hawke are with the Inquisitor. Erimond is with Cullen, Patrick, and Behven." Leliana explained once she saw Raven and Josie make their way over to her taking notice of the young girls bare feet and sleeveless shirt. Of course it would be two of her recruits to accompanying  Cullen in securing the prisoner, Raven thought with a smile.  
  
"Any word on their status? How are they?" Raven asked while keeping her eyes on the bridge no doubt as anxious as Leliana.  
  
"Still rattled but I imagine they'll be fine. Corypheus and the Red Templars will have a hard time coming back from this." And it was true, not to mention the amount of power the Inquisition now had between taking control of the Wardens and that hundreds had seen Christopher literally disappear and then reappear from the fade with Stroud, Hawke, Solas, Cassandra, Bull, and Cole. Being as close to Skyhold as they were Leliana was surprised that the spirit hadn't just appeared out of thin air. According to her agents and what she didn't tell Raven was that Cole was in worse shape than the others, being a spirit himself.  
  
"Now we just have the masquerade to worry about. Have you and Josephine decided on the attire I should wear so I can let Adrian and Delphine know?" Raven asked trying to sway the conversation to keep her mind from all the possible states her friends could be in. With what happened a couple weeks back Raven had no intention of joining the Inquisition in attending the grand ball Empress Celene was holding in a few months time but six invitations from various nobles, including Duke Henry Durand, with Raven's name on them had quickly changed everyone's mind. Attire was an important factor and ever since those invitations came there had been debate on if Raven should wear formal Inquisition attire or a one of a kind dress.  
  
"We have." Josephine replied from the other side of Raven, "To avoid any more stress on your part after what happened a few weeks ago Adrian and Delphine will be arriving next week to go over dress designs."  
  
"A dress then?" Raven confirmed and Josephine nodded, "Henry wished to know the color and fabric so he could match, I hope that won't be a problem?"  
  
"Not at all, Raven. We already have some ideas and your new masks will be here within a couple days." Raven looked at Josephine as she spoke. She had a mask already, two in fact. The black one was safe in their suite in Val Royeaux and the other one, a silver mask with black and purple accents, was on top of the dresser in her room.  
  
"How many masks do I need?" The incredulity in Raven's voice was expected.  
  
"At least six," Josephine informed and watched in amusement as Raven's eyes widened. Both she and Leliana couldn't help but let out simultaneous giggle before the Antivan continued, "Typically one for every season, one for formal events, another for casual."  
  
"I hate wearing masks." Raven groaned.  
  
"But they look so good on you." Leliana complimented, amusement still evident in her tone though her words were serious. Raven rolled her eyes but any reply she had was halted as her friends came into view. Christopher rode beside Cassandra in the front but she could see Bull's horns coming from behind them and Cole's large hat peeking out from the side of the large group. She didn't see any sign of Solas but knew he was with them, that didn't really matter at the moment though. Raven wasn't a spirit of Compassion, she wasn't like Cole who could feed and read a persons pain like she read a book. In fact, she was probably one of the most emotionally bottled up people any of them had ever met but somehow she could feel the hurt and fear brought on by the Fade that had laced into Cole's being. He must've sensed that she knew as well because before she could run to him he appeared not even a foot from her causing Josephine and even Leliana to jump back. His blue eyes were wide, and she wasted no time wrapping her bare arms around him.  
  
"Warped, wrong, I shouldn't have been there." He whispered into her long hair. She was warm, soft, unwavering, and smelled like lavender. Cole couldn't understand what she said to him and then kept saying to him, but the tone she used was calming. His mind was filled with bad things, things that nightmare said to him. They weren't alike, they couldn't be.  
  
"Shh, sweet thing." Raven whispered as she pulled far enough away so he could see her eyes; beautiful, dark green, filled with love, worry, and kindness. "Let's get you somewhere more comfortable." When Cole nodded Raven turned to Josephine.  
  
"The Inquisitor will want to go over the events at Adamant tomorrow morning." She informed, not taking her eyes off Raven and Cole.  
  
"I'll be there. Josie can you have someone bring up some tea and food to my room? Cheese and fruit if you don't mind." When Josephine nodded Raven turned her attention back to Cole and slowly they began their way up the stairs and into the main hall. It was a fascinating sight to see, her gently taking control like she had wasn't something Josephine saw everyday. When Leliana let out a quiet giggle Josephine turned her attention back to the approaching party.  
  
"What's so funny?" The Antivan demanded, "I think they're precious." Leliana agreed but what Josephine didn't know was that in the near three weeks they had been gone Cullen had sent a total of six letters asking about Raven; was she eating well, how was she handling training, what has she been doing in her spare time. He was acting more like a concerned father than a man obviously smitten with the young girl and she had to wonder when he'd realize it.  
  
  
It wasn't long after their departure that they finally made their way to her room. Cole grasped Raven's small hand in his own, scared that he was hurting her but unable to pull away. She used her free hand to open the door and usher him in and to her large unmade bed.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I just need to light some candles." Her words were soft, the tone like music in his ears and when Cole looked down prepared to tell his hands to let go he was surprised to see that they already had so he just looked up again and watched her quickly light all the candles in her room before closing the door and pulling dark fabric over the window facing out to the garden. She was back to him then, sitting next to him speaking softly, calmly, her eyes not leaving his as she took off his hat, then his large jacket, and then kneeled down in front of him for his shoes.  
  
"It was wrong. I made myself forget when I became real," He whispered, his voice shaking, "it wasn't like that though. Fearful, wrong, hurting, he said we're alike. I'm not like him, please believe me."  
  
"I know you aren't. I didn't want Christopher to bring you." She whispered while resting her cheek on his lap not caring if his leathers were dirty. Her hands ran up and down the sides of his legs in motions he'd seen her use on others to calm them and it helped a little but the tremors didn't leave. His body still shook, hands twitched.  
  
"Small fears everywhere. Then there was a big fear and a giant spider." He continued but stopped when Raven lifted her head and stared at him. Silence remained between them as she lifted herself off the floor and made her way to the door just in time for the man standing on the other side to knock. He watched her take the trays with a polite smile, close the door with her foot, and leaving the trays on the table before coming to him again, sitting beside him and putting a soft hand on his.  
  
"I wish I could say that I envy you but that would be a lie but if I could've gone in your place I would've in a heartbeat." Her words were just as soft as his. She didn't need to be loud or panicked, he needed calm and despite her heart pounding and wanting to cry that he had to be the one subjected to those old, painful memories and that she knew he'd have to face more and then have to make that choice to keep or forget them scared her.  
  
"No!" Cole exclaimed quietly as he moved closer to her, "It's wrong. You don't belong there, it mutes and destroys everything and I won't let that happen to you." Raven was caught off guard as Cole suddenly reached out and pulled her to him, her arms raising to land on his chest as her face ended up in the crook of his neck. Her body tenses at first, Cole felt it but didn't let go. She offered him solace, soothing his fears with gentle words, even gentler touches, and those  sincere green eyes. She repositioned herself, then him, before relaxing. They were no longer on the edge of her bed but in the middle and she was propped up against the many pillows while she allowed Cole to rest on her, his head on her chest and his body on and between hers. Raven wrapped her arms around him trying to calm him. The tremors coursing through his body had died down somewhat and she had to wonder if all spirits could feel what he was feeling and have those physical reactions to it or was it the human side in him beginning to grow. The choice he would have to make was not far away and Raven would support him no matter what his decision would be.  
  
"You're safe." She whispered and Cole shook his head against her chest.  
  
"They could bind me." He replied to her, hands tightening the soft thin material of her shirt, "Doing things, hurting people and I can't control it. I can't let that happen." As he spoke Raven tightened an arm around him while bringing up the other to run through his blond hair. It had become longer recently and unless spirits could choose the length of their hair at will it was another sign that he was changing.  
  
"We won't let that happen. I won't let that happen." Raven told him and the conviction in her voice caused Cole to shift so he was braced on his arms over her small body, blue eyes staring.  
  
"How can you control it?" His voice was soft and even though he didn't want to look away Cole closed his eyes and leaned further into Raven's hand as she kept playing with his hair. It calmed him, she knew that. The last thing any of them needed was Cole becoming frantic and doing anything unexpected.  
  
"There's always a way. No one tried to bind you before, right?" Her question was rhetorical but Cole still shook his head in protest before laying down again.  
  
  
The next morning Raven woke up alone. She couldn't say she was surprised, Cole was a spirit, albeit a little different he still didn't need to sleep and she pictured him growing bored during the night. That didn't stop him from taking care of her though. The water for her tea had been reheated and the milk had been replaced and as Raven stood over the table after getting ready for the day, putting the loose leaves and spices into the container for steeping there was a knock on her door.  
  
"It's open." He said loudly enough for the person on the outside to hear, not taking her eyes away from what she was doing. The door opened a couple seconds later.  
  
"What is that?" Cullen asked as he stared at the task she was in the middle of. It definitely wasn't the first thing he wanted to say to her upon his return or what he wanted to talk about the first time he entered her room while she was in a conscious state but curiosity got the better of him. Raven didn't look at him but he noticed her smile.  
  
"Good morning, Cullen. Would you like some tea?" She asked while putting the remaining cardamom seeds into the small holed container and lowering into the kettle of hot water, it's ridge resting against the kettle, before she stood up and made her way to him. He noticed the closer she was the smell in the room changed. It still smelled pleasant, just slightly spicier tha cinnamon.   
  
"What kind of tea involves you doing that?" He was referring to the loose leaves and herbs in little tins on the table.  
  
"My favorite kind. Usually it's all in one big tin but I've been too busy. Come, sit, how was Adamant?" She asked as she ushered him to the chair across from the one she was in before.  
  
"We should really get to the lower courtyard." Cullen tried to object and was met with a smirk and a pair of rolling green eyes.  
  
"You're going to have a cup of tea with me first. A proper gentleman never denies a lady's request." She told him with a large smile. It was something Duke Henry had told her some time ago and for some odd reason she always wanted to use it on someone. Originally she thought of Solas but he typically never denied her company, neither did anyone else. Cullen on the other hand was too much of a workaholic which made him a fun sort of specimen to experiment with. It worked too; his eyes widened, gloved hands came up, and his expression turned contrite. Did she really want to spend time with him, he wondered.  
  
"I apologize." His words were sincere, "How have you been?" He took the seat across from where she was sitting before, the spicy scent that started enveloping the room was much stronger around the kettle but breathing it in made Cullen feel better. His slight headache seemed to vanish and he felt much more awake than he had moments ago. She sat down and set about pouring him a cup, adding milk and sugar even though she knew he didn't often use them.  
  
"It's called masala chai, a favorite of mine from back home consisting of cinnamon, cardamom pods, cloves, fennel seeds, peppercorn, and a few other things. Its good in the morning and on cold, rainy days. As far as my state of being and mind go, I'm alright. It's been an interesting couple weeks but I feel better. A lot better actually." And it was true, he could see it in her features. She was still thinner than he felt comfortable with but she had this calmness about her that she didn't have before and she was still so beautiful. Did she realize it, he wondered as he hesitantly brought the cup of tea to his mouth for a small sip, eyes widening at the amount of flavor and the warmth that followed as he swallowed the warm liquid. The look Raven gave him as he continued to drink the sweet and spicy tea made it clear that she'd gone through it at one point too.  
  
"I apologize," Cullen started as he put down the empty mug but then stopped, remembering she hated unjustified apologies, "I'm glad you're feeling better. We were all worried, I was worried." His admission was quiet.  
  
"I'm not good with emotions; acknowledging or expressing them. I'm also glad you and everyone made it back." They fell into a comfortable silence as she refilled his tea. Cullen watched her small hands move; it never ceased to amaze him how she could go from grasping her daggers till her knuckles turned white to looking so ladylike as she wrote, poured tea, or even read one of those damned books in the library with Solas or Dorian.  
  
"It was a good victory on our part. With Erimond in our custody and awaiting judgement we focus on trying to find Samson." Cullen said out of the blue. Raven looked at him and nodded while deciding it would be better to keep her mouth shut on the topic. Was he always so single minded though; she knew the question didn't need to be answered.   
  
"Samson as well as the masquerade Celene is holding, Corypheus, and most importantly any trauma Christopher and our friends might've gone through in the fade." She couldn't hide the slight annoyance in her tone and thankfully Cullen was bright enough to catch on quickly, his eyes suddenly narrowing at the young girl across from him.  
  
"Our soldiers and the members of the Inquisition know what they're getting into but they are fine." Cullen tried to reason.  
  
"Is that so?" Her voice was lower, sarcastic, as if daring Cullen to continue.  
  
"They'll get past the shock o-"  
  
"Cassandra is questioning her faith, Leliana is mourning The Divine now more than ever, and Cole... Cole is terrified some Mage with a fetish for blood magic and summoning and binding demons is going to bind him." She was no longer sitting back in her chair but on the edge of it with hands itching to grip the daggers currently on her dresser. Cullen stared at her as he worked to carefully choose his reply. He wanted to ask about her and the spirit knowing that the reason he couldn't see her last night was because they were together. He could imaging it; her taking Cole into her arms, whispering gentle words into his ear, playing with his hair. They were things Cullen often wished for himself when he was with her but knew would never come.  
  
"You are right," He accepted, knowing she was speaking the truth and that she would be the one to look over every possible after effect of Adamant, "forgive me. Shall we make our way to the field?" With a last sip of her tea Raven was up and to her dresser before Cullen could even put his mug down.  
  
  
Training was over at noon. Raven was aware she kept them longer than usual but the need to blow off steam was nearly overwhelming and Patrick had come far since she started training him months ago. He still had a lot to learn and that was mostly field experience but she was proud of him. After a straight hour of sparing she'd made him her second and promised him a drink that night to celebrate. Cullen had watched her for a little while, whether it was to make sure she was alright or something else she didn't like it.  
  
"He does it because he likes you." Patrick had said with a smile as he came back from putting his and Raven's practice daggers away. The Commander was no longer watching her from the battlements but he could sense her annoyance that he chose to watch most of her class. Normally it didn't bother the small redhead so between the sparring and the glaring it was probably best to assume that they'd gotten into an argument before class started.  
  
"He does it because he's a dick." Raven grumbled and Patrick laughed in response. When she looked at him her features calmed and a smile finally made its way to her lips, the first one he'd seen all day, "Let's get something to eat, my treat." She offered and he felt himself nod surprised that she didn't want to go back to her room first to freshen up like she usually did; her long hair was tied back but damp from sweat and her black cotton shirt was the same way. They made small talk as they ascended the stairs and halfway to the tavern a loud voice caused Raven to stop and Patrick to stop with her. He heard her mumble something that sounded like 'shit' and turn around. When he followed her motions he could see Cole, the spirit Raven often spent time with even though he looked like a normal man, and the Mage named Solas make their way down the steps from the main hall. Patrick had never personally met Solas before despite seeing Raven with him. Cole was a familiar face and was often at his trainer's side, a strong and supportive companion.  
  
"No!" Solas exclaimed as he descended the last step. He looked angry but his tone didn't stop Cole from following.  
  
"But you like demons!" Cole argued. A hand on his shoulder caused Patrick to turn his attention away from the spirit and Mage and as he turned around he was met by the Inquisitor standing in the doorway of the tavern. Almost immediately Patrick moved out of the mans way, watching as he gently grabbed Raven's hand and dragged her to her friends.  
  
"I enjoy the company of spirits, yes, which is part of why I do not abuse them with bindings." Solas tried to explain, eyes momentarily meeting Raven's as he spoke. Cole didn't seem to notice her or the Inquisitor standing, watching barely ten feet away.  
  
"It isn't abuse if I ask." Cole continued to protest.  
  
"Not always true. Also, I do not practice blood magic which renders this entire conversation academic." The clipped tone Solas used should've been enough of a hint to drop the subject. Raven looked away as Cole looked to her and then Christopher; she knew her words the night before weren't enough to put Cole's mind at ease but did the conversation playing out before her have to come so soon?  
  
"He won't bind me." Cole explained while taking a step toward them, "He's a Mage and he likes demons but he won't help!" The desperation in his voice caused Raven's stomach to tighten and not in a good way.  
  
"Why would you want Solas to bind you?" Christopher asked finally letting go of Raven's hand.  
  
"So I'm safe!" Cole's tone didn't improve and Raven found herself wanting to run forward and hug him but she remained still and he turned away, "If Solas won't do the ritual to bind me then someone else could - will, like the Warden mage's and then... I'm not me anymore. Walls around what I want; blocking, bleeding, making me a monster!" Patrick watched in silence from the tavern entrance as Raven and Christopher made their way over to the distraught being.  
  
"A Mage using blood magic could conceivably do that to anyone of us, human or demon." Christopher tried to explain. Solas watched them as well, eyes focused on Raven and the worry that flooded the young girls features. A part of him sympathized with her as she was still going through her own loss but part of him also wondered if she somehow knew or played a part in Cole's ridiculous notion.  
  
"You should ask Solas to bind you too." Cole was serious as he spoke, "And then someone can bind him!" As he turned to look at Christopher the sight of Raven slowly shaking her head was what caught his attention. Had she been there the entire time? They listened to her, maybe she could convince them!  
  
"Cole, that isn't how this works." She said quietly and he could see that she wanted to be close to him but she didn't move.  
  
"There has to be some middle ground between 'do nothing' and 'bind Cole with blood magic'." Christopher was thinking aloud, mind still reeling at Cole's request.  
  
"Indeed. I recall stories of amulets used by Rivani seers to protect spirits they summoned from rival mage's. A spirit wearing an Amulet of the Unbound was immune to blood magic and binding, it should protect Cole as well. The resources of the Inquisition could be used to find such a talisman." Solas spoke to Christopher like Raven and Cole weren't there. It pissed her off but she just rolled her eyes and watched Cole walk away.  
  
"They will not take me." He muttered the declaration, trying not to think of what could happen if he didn't succeed.  
  
Once Cole was out of sight, most likely somewhere on the battlements, Raven's room, or in the tavern, Raven turned her attention to Christopher to see that he was already looking back at her.  
  
"Did you..." He wanted to ask and thankfully didn't have to finish when he saw her nod. Of course she knew.  
  
"Yes. I also spoke to Josephine about the amulet a day or so after everyone left for Adamant." She spoke quietly and then, as if she remembered she had yet to greet him, rushed him in a hug with such force that it nearly knocked him off his feet, "I'm so proud of you, Hawke and Stroud both survive and you recruited the Wardens." He smiled when she did, knowing that he had truly done the unexpected, even by her standards.  
  
"You helped; they survived because I knew what to expect. I assume you're feeling better?" He asked even though it was obvious he really didn't need to. The change in her since he's been gone had been dramatic.  
  
"Much. Its good to see you as well, Solas." She greeted politely once she stepped away from Christopher. He looked the same but eyed her cautiously. After what just happened with Cole it was to be expected but he wouldn't discuss i out in the open.  
  
"You as well, Raven. I'm pleased that you're feeling better." He replied kindly and it was the truth. The calmness around her was a nice change. She nodded before politely excusing herself and walking back to the tavern where Patrick still patiently waited for her.  
  
  
Unlike the game Cole wasn't in the tavern when Christopher approached him with news about the amulet. The only reason Raven knew that was because Cole was seated beside her on the battlement walls staring at the mountains in the distance. He had placed her hand in his lap and was tracing the lines of her palm as she sipped a cup of tea while few words passed between them. Since they returned from Adamant a week ago he'd spent more time with her than before which truly wasn't much as far as they both were concerned and if they heard the talk about them then they didn't show it.  
  
"I found the amulet Solas told us about. Would you like to try it on?" Christopher asked while glancing down at Raven's hand still placed in Cole's lap. The spirit didn't look at him right away, his hands kept playing with hers.  
  
"Yes, but not here. I like it here. Not around Raven either. We need some place that can go away if it becomes sharp." Cole finally replied and Christopher noticed the way Raven quickly turned to look at him as if he said something she wasn't expecting. As Cole moved off the battlement wall Raven stopped him and with a look to Christopher he knew she had something private to discuss with him before testing the amulet.  
  
"I'll be in the library with Solas. Meet me there when you're done." Christopher spoke quietly as he left, not even sure if he wanted to know what they had to say to one another. Once he was gone Cole looked over to Raven.  
  
"It will be okay. I will be okay." He assured her, not liking the scared, sad look in her eyes.  
  
"Will you promise me something?" She asked quietly and continued when Cole finally nodded, "Whatever happens, whatever choices you have to make, make them because they're what you want. I promise you that I will still be here when you get back and I will still love you no matter what you choose." Her voice shook and as Cole reached out to brush the tears brought on by the sudden waves of emotion that had fallen from her eyes she brushed his hand away. He wanted to ask what she meant but knew she wouldn't say anything. He wanted to ask about how and why she loved him, if that was truly how she felt. Her admission made him feel unbelievably warm and Cole wasn't sure what to say in response or if she even wanted one.  
  
"I promise." He vowed quietly before moving off the wall. That time she let him go. Christopher was waiting for him at the entrance to the main hall and together they passed Varric who was sitting at his table aside the large fireplace.  
  
"Are you ready?" Christopher asked while holding out the amulet for him to take.  
  
"What do I do with it?" Cole wondered aloud as they made their way into the library. Solas stood up from his large chair and made his way over to them.  
  
"You found one of the amulets, excellent! May I?" Solas smiled as he asked, holding out his hand for the amulet which Cole gave him, "It is simple enough; you put it on and I charge it with magic and you should be protected." He explained while removing Cole's hat and slipping the amulet over the spirits blond head.  
  
"Are you ready, Cole?" Christopher asked again, his own stomach turning at the thought of something bad happening. He didn't ask Raven about it, maybe he should've.  
  
"They can't make me a monster." Cole declared and went silent as Solas held out his hand and the feeling of magic permeated the air in a beautiful pale blue light. It only lasted seconds though before it backfired causing Cole to cry out in surprise.  
  
"What was that?" Varric's voice broke the brief shock that had come over the small group and all eyes turned as the dwarf entered the room, "oh, for... What are you doing to the Kid?"  
  
"Stopping blood mage's from binding me like the demons at Adamant but it didn't work." Cole replied simply without missing a beat. Varric looked past the Kid to Chuckles and Christopher and had to wonder if Ginger knew what was going on, surely she'd have something to say on the subject.  
  
"Something is interfering with the enchantment." Solas explained to him as well as Christopher.  
  
"'Something' like Cole not being a demon?" Varric retorted earning a look of expiration from the elf. Christopher looked over to Solas.  
  
"Solas, is it possible the amulet doesn't work on Cole because he's too... Human?" He asked and received the same look Solas had given Varric moments ago.  
  
"Regardless of Cole's special circumstances he remains a spirit." The elf clarified, tone clipped.  
  
"Yes, a spirit who is strangely like a person." Varric spoke slowly to let his point sink in. Throughout their conversation Cole was silent, listening to their words and thoughts noting how similar they were. It wasn't often people said what they meant, there was always some underlying reason, some ulterior motive but when it came to him, with Solas and Varric and Christopher there were none.  
  
"I don't matter!" He finally exclaimed, tired of the arguing, "Just lock away the parts of me that someone else can knot together to make me follow." It was a simple request, right? Solas was a powerful Mage, a powerful being, he could help.  
  
"Focus on the amulet. Tell me what you feel." His voice was calmer now that he wasn't speaking and debating with Varric. Cole closed his eyes, his mind going to the small pendant around his neck and it didn't take long to feel a pulling that had his entire body wanting to follow.  
  
"Warm, soft blankets covering but it catches, tears. I'm the wrong shape. There's something. There, that way." Cole murmured quietly while bringing his hand up to point south.  
  
"We'll find whatever is preventing the amulet from working. We'll make it right." Christopher promised and Cole wasn't surprised to feel the mans large, warm hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Alright, Kid. Get Cullen and work with him on the map to figure out where you're sending something wrong." Varric supplied the idea and it made Cole nod. When he finally turned around all three were staring at him in concern.  
  
"Will you come with me?" He asked them, "All of you?"  
  
"Sure." Varric was the one to answer and was glad when the others didn't object. He knew they wouldn't, they all cared for the Kid in some way or another. With a small smile, which Varric returned, Cole slowly made his way out of the room. Was he going to see Cullen or update Ginger on what was happening? When he was sure the Kid was gone he looked at Chuckles and took a step forward, "Alright, I get it. You like spirits but he came into this world to be a person. Let him be one."  
  
"If I see a way to protect Cole without taking away whatever he is I'll use it but Cole clearly needs our help." Christopher argued and Varric resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his dear friend.  
  
"I'm not saying we do nothing but that ritual of theirs only works on demons right? And by the way, where's Ginger? You would think she'd want to be here." Varric could only imagine the rampage she'd go on if she found out what was happening. It'd make the arguments with Curly and Christopher seem like child's play.  
  
"Cole didn't want her here where there was the possibility of her getting hurt." Christopher explained and judging by the look Chuckles suddenly had on his face Varric wasn't the one caught off guard.  
  
"This is not some fanciful story, Child of the Stone. We cannot change our nature by wishing." Solas countered once he recovered from the initial shock. He too had been wondering why Raven wasn't with them and where she could be. It never dawned on him that Cole would wish her to not be present. Then again, it made sense with the bond those two shared. Varric's smirk brought him back to the topic at hand.  
  
"You don't think?" He asked and that time Solas didn't hesitate to roll his eyes, as improper as it may be.  
  
"However we deal with the problem our next step is to track down whatever is interfering with the enchantment." Hopefully it wouldn't be too difficult.

 

They were in Ferelden slightly south and to the east of Redcliff. It was warm, humid even and as Christopher, Solas, and Varric followed Cole to the destination only the spirit seemed to know of they couldn’t help but admire the trees and the sun shining over the lake in the distance.

“How much farther do you think it could be?” Varric asked quietly as he glanced up to his friend. Christopher looked down and shrugged while trying to ignore the hair falling into his face; it had been months since he’d gotten it cut.

“Only he knows that.” Christopher’s reply was quick and with a glance forward, past Cole, he could see two men a short distance away. One was shorter, balding, and looked much older than her probably was. The other was taller, dressed in clean tan clothes, a matching hat, and black hair with a matching mustache. Upon approaching the shorter man looked to them, bid his farewell, and by the time he was far enough away and the other man was facing them, offering assistance, Cole was much closer, his stance going rigid.

“You… You killed me!” Cole practically growled, disappearing before Solas had a chance to react and grab him. Moments later he appeared again in front of the large man, the shock bringing the man to his knees. Cole stood over the man, hand on his head, angry… so very angry. He could feel it screaming deep from inside him.

“No. I don’t even know you.” The man tried to protest as he brought his hands up to try and defend himself for whatever Cole was about to do. His words only seemed to anger Cole more.

“You forgot! You locked me in the dungeon in the Spire and you forgot and I died in the dark!” Cole screamed, each word fueling the fire that was now blazing inside of him. Memories of back then filled his mind; the pain, hate, anger, hurt, loneliness, and abandon that consumed him, filled his being and it wasn’t fair that he was the one to die while the man kneeling before him was the one to live, the man who killed some but also hurt and tortured hundreds more, who laughed at the pain he caused.

“The Spire…?” The man finally acknowledged, eyes going wide. Cole barely felt the hand on his shoulder.

“Cole, stop!” Solas’ voice was so close to him and worked in breaking the hold Cole held on the man cowering on the ground. As if sensing the break the man scrambled to get away and Cole would’ve gone after him if it weren’t for his three friends standing beside him, their confusion like one giant cloud among them.

“Just take it easy, Kid.” It was Varric that spoke, his voice much less frantic than the others but it did little to soothe the feelings still raging inside of him. His head felt heavier, thoughts scattered, sporadic, fading in and out as pictures and sounds flooded his memory.

“He killed me!” Cole exclaimed, “He killed me! That’s why it doesn’t work, he killed me and I have to kill him back!” That was what he had to do, right? It had to make the amulet work or else all hope of safety for him and the others would be lost.

“Before anyone gets killed I need to know what’s going on.” Christopher spoke loudly and clearly, trying to make sense of all that had just happened and what caused Cole, gentle and innocent Cole, to nearly break like he did.

“Cole, this man cannot have killed you.” Solas calmly explained, hoping his words would reach through the anger and whatever else Cole was feeling, “You are a spirit. You have not even possessed a body.” At his words Cole stood up straighter before turning away to face the direction the man had run. They didn’t understand because they didn’t know.

“A broken body. Bloody, banged on the stone cell. Guts gripping in the dark. Dank. A captured apostate.” He spoke of the visions in his mind of the small, weak mage cornered by hungry rats in a dark cell, the visions he hadn’t told anyone up until then. Not even Raven though he suspected she already knew; she knew so much that it was nearly astounding and sometimes he wanted nothing more than to talk to her about it all. “They threw him into the dungeon in the Spire in Val Royeaux, they forgot about him. He starved to death. I came through to help and I couldn’t so I became… Cole.” He could feel even more confusion from them, surprise too but it wasn’t as strong.

“If Cole was an apostate that’d make the guy we just saw a Templar. Must’ve been buying lyrium.” Varric suggested, knowing he was right. He’d seen it time and time again in Kirkwall. It was a shame to see Templars have to resort to such means but, really, what could one do about it?

“Let me kill him. I need to. I need to.” Cole couldn’t keep the anger from his voice. He was becoming restless.

“Solas?” Christopher asked looking to the elf.

“We cannot let Cole kill the man.” He replied and Varric would’ve chuckled if the situation wasn’t so serious, if it wasn’t the Kid involved.

“I don’t think anyone was going to suggest that, Chuckles.” Solas glared at Varric, or more specifically the tone he used. It was clear that he didn’t fully understand. How could he, dwarves had no link to the fade. They couldn’t even dream.

“Cole is a spirit. The death of the real Cole wounded him, perverted him from his purpose. To regain that part of himself he must forgive.” At his words Varric scoffed again. They didn’t have much time before the Kid would do something drastic.

“Come on, you don’t just forgive someone for killing you.” Varric countered.

“You don’t, a spirit can!” Solas couldn’t help but raise his voice as he continued to glare at the dwarf.

“Varric?” Christopher asked quietly, his head spinning. He wanted to look at his friends but kept his eyes on Cole instead, grateful he had yet to run off. Instead he leaned against the giant horse statue, fingers gripping the cold, white stone. Even from the distance he could see and hear Cole muttering quietly to himself but couldn’t make out the words.

“The Kid’s angry. He needs to work through it.” Varric’s simple rationalization only seemed to anger Solas even more though the dwarf didn’t seem to care much as the elf moved closer.

“A spirit does not work through emotions, it embodies them!” Any other time Varric and Christopher would both be surprised by the tone Solas used. The elf valued propriety, always did his best to remain calm and dignified even in the worst of times.

“But he isn’t a spirit, is he?” Varric shot back in the same infuriatingly calm and rational voice that he’d been using, “He made himself human and humans change. They get hurt and they heal. He needs to work it out like a person.”

From where he stood leaning against the cool stone Cole could hear their words, the way they talked about him like he wasn’t even there but it was clear that they cared. It was strange to feel the effects that anger had on the body, his body. He’d seen it, felt it in others but it had been so long for him or maybe it was the first time, Cole didn’t know. Thoughts of the Templar, visions of the past, and the broad spectrum of emotions rushing through his body made him feel restless. Raven spoke of choices; was this what she meant, he wondered. Cole didn’t know why or how she crept into his mind but her words seemed to make so much more sense than before as well as the fear and pain in her eyes. She promised to be there no matter what his choice was, promised to love and care for him like she always had. She knew. He knew without a doubt that she knew and yet she didn’t argue one side or the other like Solas and Varric were doing not fifteen feet away. She knew the consequences of each action and vowed to accept whatever choice he decided to make. A gentle hand on his arm broke him free of his thoughts.

“Come with me.” Cole stared at him, mind going back to the words previously spoken as he explained them to the others. It was nice but wasn’t what he wanted. No one could tell him what was right and wrong, what choice he had to make. That was up to him.

“No. It’s my choice. I don’t want that.”


	23. New Understandings

 

"Checkmate. I win again, Commander."

Cullen leaned forward and stared at the board. Some pieces, both black and white, had been discarded to the side as casualties of a great battle but he was more focused on the black knight trapping his queen and couldn't help but smile at her from across the table. She was looking at him as well, a small smirk playing at her pink lips and green eyes waiting patiently for his admission of defeat. It hadn't been the first time she'd won and he knew it wouldn't be the last.

"Then I suppose congratulations are in order." He finally replied as the smile he wore turned into a smirk of his own. If it were just them enjoying the peacefulness of the garden and if she would ever allow him the honor he'd gladly lean forward, over the small table, and kiss those lips of hers but he couldn't. Not only because it wasn't just them but also that she would stop him. Even if she didn't for one reason or another and somehow gotten carried away she'd be angry with him so instead he reached forward to shake her hand. It was all he could really do.

"Always so formal." She commented, her voice light and full of amusement and absolute music in his ears. So much so that he found the hand be hadn't offered gripping the side of the chair as she reached out and shook his other one. Once she let go he watched as she leaned back, crossed her legs, and moved some of her long red hair from her face. It was longer than it had been when she'd first been brought to them, so much longer that when she left it down it pooled around the chairs she would sit on just like it was doing at that very moment, soft red tresses teasing him, haunting him, filling his mind with lustful images about how it would feel against his naked skin but what made it truly marvelous was that she didn't know. She didn't have any idea how she really affected him and others. "If we can't be casual around each other now after everything we've been through then I guess all hope is lost." Was she mocking him?

"A lady deserves to be treated with the utmost respect and formality." He explained somehow feeling more at ease than before. She made the point of looking around before letting her green eyes settle on him once more.

"That is very true, Commander, but I see no lady present and if you are trying go to insinuate that I, of all people, am a lady then I'm afraid you're mistaking." Raven stared at Cullen from her small chair across the table enjoying the way his hand went to the back of his neck showing that he was nervous. It was fun to tease him.

"You are a lady." He insisted and she couldn't help but laugh. Playing the part of a lady was fun while she wore beautiful dresses and corsets and drank tea with the nobility of Orlais but she wasn't a true lady. Ladies didn't fight or curse or allow themselves to become dirty like she did. Cullen seemed to believe otherwise, or at least lead her to believe he did ever since accidentally walking in on Adrian, Delphine, Josephine, Vivienne, and she a couple days ago. They had been going over different dress designs and from the look on Cullen's face when he realized what exactly he'd walked in on she guessed he didn't see women in corsets and panties often and where she found it hilarious he'd been on his best behavior and much more reserved around her than usual.

"A lady would agree with you instead of telling you to 'suck it'." Her tone was so polite that he didn't realize what she'd actually said until a few seconds later.

"Maker, what am I going to do with you?" His reply came out as a sigh before he started to smile again.

"I also imagine a lady would blush while thinking of all the possibilities that question could entail. I, on the other hand, will just say that you can't handle me. Did you want to play another game?" She asked while setting up the board. Even if he didn't want to it was still a polite gesture.

"I'd love to but there's still so much to be done. Don't you have another dress fitting soon?" He asked her as he stood up. She followed though her movements were much more graceful and soon she was standing beside him, barely coming up to his collarbone though the armor he wore hid that. He loved how small she was compared to him.

"Why," she asked with a small smile as they made their way through the garden to the main hall, "Planning on walking in again?" He stumbled over air and his breath caught in his throat. He should've expected a reply like that coming from her but it still managed to catch him off guard and cause his skin to become entirely too warm under his metal armor as his mind went back to the other day. With the ball a mere two months away there seemed to be more pressure for Raven to come to a decision about what she wanted in the dress she was to wear and where most women would tell a man to leave, much like Josephine and Vivienne had once they realized he'd walked in and he realized what he'd walked into, Raven remained on the pedestal in the middle of the room clad in a corset the color of deepstalker hide and a pair of small, black underwear that seemed to be nothing more than tiny patches of cloth held together by string. She'd smiled, waved, and even said hello to him without even blushing and he had to wonder how someone so young had such little modesty. Part of him wanted to ask Raven about it but he couldn't even begin to conjure up the words for a conversation like that much less say them. In the end he just chose to keep quiet, much like what he was doing at that exact moment because any comment or retort he could make would be met with one ten times worse from her. Halfway through the main hall they were stopped by Vivienne who looked stunning in her traditional white Enchanter robes.

"Raven, Commander Cullen," She cordially greeted, "it is such a pleasure to see you both."

"It's a pleasure seeing you as well Madame Vivienne. I do hope you're enjoying your day so far." Raven replied in the same tone though she wasn't much in the mood for fake cheerfulness and forced pleasantries at the moment.

"My day has been wonderful, my dear. If you have some time to spare Josephine wanted to speak with you about your dress since we didn't get much done the other day." She looked at Cullen as she spoke and Raven had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing as Cullen's face went from pale to the color of a tomato in mere seconds and he stuttered through an excuse to leave. When he was gone Raven turned to see the ebony skinned woman smiling down at her. Without saying much they both made their way to Josephine's office where the pedestal, three mirrors, a dozen dresses, and swatch after swatch of colored fabric were laid out in the corner. Adrian was the first to come forward and greet the redhead and Delphine quickly followed suit.

  
Three hours later Raven bid farewell to Josephine, Vivienne, Adrian, and Delphine before slowly making her way into the main hall. Her back hurt from standing so straight as she tried on dress after dress while she and the others decided everything from the appropriate silhouette to the color, fabric, shoes, gems and jewelry, and hairstyle. It was ridiculous and once everything had been decided and Raven had been released she wanted nothing more than to grab something to eat from the kitchens and watch the soldiers fight in the sparring ring. Normally she'd want to join in but no one in the fortress could keep up with her except Cole and he was... Raven felt her stomach turn as she thought of him and it wasn't in a pleasant way. The words she'd spoken to him a week ago on the battlements played in her mind and she wondered if she did the right thing. Varric and Solas would argue over his fate but she urged him to make his own choice, to choose whatever would make him happy. It wasn't a lie, she would remain by his side as a friend and consort, she would listen to him and include him in things others didn't. She would still love him, if that was in fact how she really felt. She didn't know. She would gladly give her life for him and do everything in her power to keep him from harm but was that really what love was? She would do the same for anyone else if the situation called for it but he was different, special, and she didn't know what to think or how to feel regarding it.

As she made her way down the stairs Raven found the kitchens emptier than normal. It was well after the time dinner was typically served and the three kitchen maidens she met along the way offered to help but she declined. She knew her way around the kitchen enough to know where everything was that she wanted and she could feel the women watching her in hushed silence as she sliced three different kinds of cheese, two different kinds of cured and salted meats, some hardened bread for crackers, purple grapes, two pears, and some strawberries. What she wouldn't eat of the plate tonight would be breakfast the next morning so with the large plate in hand she made her way down the small steps into the courtyard, past the stables, and on her way up the grand staircase she was disappointed to see not many soldiers were sparing. With a simple shrug she turned direction and made her way to the main hall. Varric was still gone, along with Solas, Cole, and Christopher so she sat at their usual table beside the fire place. She didn't know when they would be back and she hated being stuck in limbo, not knowing the outcome. Raven remembered being back home and learning about Schrodinger's Cat from her father; that until something was certain it can be both and neither. Back then she thought it was fascinating but as she stared into the fire, her stomach still turning and feeling restless at the thought of each outcome she despised it.

"Not up for hanging with us tonight?" A deep voice asked breaking Raven from her train of thoughts. Bull took a seat beside her as she looked at him, eying his giant hand that reached forward and grabbed a slice of cured ham.

"Just a lot on my mind." She replied quietly and took a piece of cheese from the plate. Bull stared at her with his one good eye and decided he didn't like how withdrawn she seemed to be. Was she still in that mourning period or did it have to do with something else?

"That's nothing a strong drink can't cure." And he was right. If he had a gold piece for every time he used a drink to get his mind off something he'd be able to retire very fat and very rich. It made her smile though.

"I'll stick with my cheese and grapes. What are you doing up here anyway, did Josephine need you for something?" She asked and was genuinely curious but Bull shook his head and gave her one of those kind smiles he was capable of giving but very seldom ever did.

"Nah." He answered as he grabbed a piece of cheese and a grape to pop into his mouth like he'd seen her do so many times and found he really enjoyed the creamy saltiness and juicy sweet flavors together, "You just looked a little down so I figured I'd make sure you were okay." Bull watched her as he explained, not bothering to tell her that it was Cole who had asked him to keep an eye on her while he, Solas, Varric, and the Boss were gone. She didn't need to know that and she'd been doing pretty well with training, spending time with Cullen, going over plans for that Ball in Orlais less than a month away, and keeping herself busy. She was eating more as well which he was glad to see; she'd gotten entirely too thin and it was good to see her putting that weight on again.

"Thanks but I'm fine. The quiet is nice every now and then." He agreed with her words and watched as she grabbed a piece of meat off the plate before looking into the fire. "Back home we had these things called marshmallows. They weren't much more than a simple confection made from sugar, water, and gelatin then formed into a cylinder. Whenever we'd go camping or feel like lighting a fire in the backyard Dad would go to the store and buy bags of these things along with chocolate and graham crackers for s'mores."

"S'mores, what the hell kind of name is that?" He asked and Raven chuckled.

"It believe it was a play on the words 'some' and 'more'." She explained, "You'd roast the marshmallow over the fire so it would become soft, pliable, and the sugar would burn then stick it on a graham cracker, add chocolate, then put another graham cracker over the chocolate to make a sandwich. They were always messy and sticky and I hated them that way so I'd make the stupid thing then pick it apart and eat the components one at a time."

"Sounds weird," Bull commented and Raven simply shrugged not bothering to disagree with him. They were weird and she honestly had no idea what made her think of them or tell him I'm the first place. Maybe it was because he liked sweets or maybe she was feeling particularly nostalgic at the moment. He watched her relax more as she watched the fire, waiting for her to continue talking or eating but it seemed like she wasn't thinking about doing either. Something was going on in that head of hers but she wasn't sad. Worried would be a better word to describe it.

"So about you and Cole..." He asked while deciding to start at the top of the list of what would most likely be her top priorities and when Bull suddenly found Raven's eyes on him faster than he'd expected he knew he'd guessed right.

"So about you and Dorian..." She countered and Bull couldn't help but smile. "Lovers yet or are you both still playing coy and hard to get?" Fuck, she was observant. It wasn't like he'd gone to any great lengths to hide the fact that he and the Vint had been sleeping together, it was just something they didn't really talk about in the open. She would be the one to notice though.

"You'll get your answers when I get mine, Girl." He told her and didn't like how she looked away from him.

"There is no 'Cole and I'," She told him after a few moments of silence, "He's a spirit, one of my closest friends, and I love him for it and all that he is just like I love you, Dorian, Solas, Varric, and nearly everyone else." Her voice was so soft that Bull had to struggle to hear her over the fire. Once her words sunk in he found himself not believing the entirety of it even though he knew she wouldn't lie to him. When she didn't want him to know something she just didn't talk about it or changed the subject so maybe she simply didn't realize how thin that line actually was.

"Then why are you worried?"

"Do you want the truth?" She asked even though she knew the answer. One glance in his direction caused her to smile. "He's going to have to make a choice that will change everything. Either he'll become more like a spirit or he'll become more like a person." Okay, Bull wasn't expecting that. He knew the Boss, Cole, Solas, and Varric were on a mission but that was really what it was about? He continued to look at her, trying to find any sign that something else was going on but found none. Demon or human, he contemplated the options and knew without a doubt what he would want. What did she want though? She never said.

"What do you want him to choose?" Bull asked and watched as her features stayed the same.

"I want him to choose what he feels right with and whatever makes him happy." Her reply was simple, "Spirit or human, what I want him to choose doesn't matter. It's his decision and I will be there for him no matter what."

Bull continued to stare at her even after she finished speaking and was glad to see her pick up multiple pieces of food and nibble on them. It wasn't a secret between them that he vouched for the girl those months ago when she was captured and brought to them, even after her strange stories and even stranger devices. He continued to watch and observe her afterward, like he was doing at that exact moment sitting next to her. Mostly it was because of his Ben Hassrath training but he couldn't deny that the small redhead had captured his attention and respect. Bull respected her dedication, willingness to learn, her badass fighting skills, and the unwavering loyalty he was seeing from her as she spoke of Cole and the others - him included. It was that loyalty she was hiding behind and using as a sort of crutch.

"I know you'll be there for him, no one expects any different but I know you want one more than the other or else you wouldn't be as concerned. I won't judge you for it if that's what's holding you back." She didn't look at him and didn't speak for a while. He watched her pop a small square piece of cheese to her mouth, aged sharp cheddar if he remembered right, chew slowly, and swallow.

"I feel like a shit person," Raven admitted quietly, "for wanting him to choose to grow as a person instead of a spirit. The really messed up part, what I don't understand, is why I want that." She was able to keep it from him the night he left, he would've told her otherwise, but it had been a lingering thought in the back of her mind. She didn't know why she wanted him to choose to move on and work through what had happened to him. In the game his fate usually rested on how she felt and choices she'd made earlier but that was then. Now it felt wrong to choose such an important thing for him.

"You're not a shit person. The Kid has a lot to learn and it's easy enough to see that he enjoys it." Bull consoled, not entirely used to or comfortable with talking about feelings, especially with a girl as young as Raven who clearly didn't understand or grasp feelings well either.

"I guess. Can we stop talking about it and focus on you and Dorian?" She asked quietly while throwing him a small smirk that he would've missed if he hadn't looked at the right time. Not much was said about the two, mainly because she wasn't serious in wanting to know what happened between them. She knew the lifestyle Bull preferred and after a couple questions about that more than anything else she was content to merely sit in silence, her mind miles away, while absentmindedly picking at the food on her plate. It wasn't long before Bull bid her a goodnight and made his way to the tavern.

  
As Raven slowly gained consiousness she realized before even opening her eyes that she wasn't in the safe, private confines of her room. There was no unbelievably warm and constricting feeling of her quilt wrapping around her body and she could hear people talking not so far away. When she finally gathered the strength to open her eyes she was greeted by the sight of Solas on one of the rafters placed around his office quietly mixing paints. Was he really there or was she dreaming? Echoes of ravens could be heard from far above. He looked over to her as she sat up while ignoring her protesting muscles.

"Good morning." He greeted kindly, "I hope you slept well." Raven was silent, staring at him as she tried to wake herself up a little more, "Cole is with Varric but he insisted on bringing you tea. It is on the table beside you." She looked half dead, Solas thought to himself as he stared at her. She was paler than normal, her red hair was undone and tangled, and there were dark circles under her eyes. It wasn't often he saw her so early in the morning so he could only guess it was because she was still waking up and barely coherent. Her eyes did widen when he mentioned Cole and tea.

"Solas?" She asked and he nodded not expecting what happened next. She was up faster than he could blink, all signs of tiredness forgotten, "You're back! How was it? What happened? Where is everyone else?" Her questions came out so fast that in his own tired state he couldn't help but chuckle.

"Calm yourself, Da'len. We arrived late last night." He explained while thinking back to the night before. After Cole's decision it was obvious what the outcome would be. He wanted to ask if she knew what would happen but he wasn't in the mood and it wasn't the time or place to have such a conversation. Raven seemed to comply with his demand and gently sat down again, hand absentmindedly reaching out and grasping the hot tea from the table barely a foot from her. Raven's mind was racing and question after question kept coming to her. If Solas was alone did that mean Cole had chosen humanity or did he simply want to be alone in his area on the top floor of the tavern? If she could see him most of those questions would be answered.

"Do you know where Cole is?" She asked quietly and took a sip of her tea. It was the Masala chai she loved so much and as she drained half the cup in a couple long sips she found herself feeling better. Solas still kept his eyes on her from his place on the rafters.

"No," He finally replied slightly amazed at how she could drink her tea so quickly and how she looked much better after doing so. Solas hated tea as it usually kept him awake but when Cole brought in a cup of what he called 'her special tea' and Solas could smell cinnamon and spices it did pique his curiosity to the point where he would ask her later, "after he and Varric brought you in here they left and I haven't seen or heard from them since."

Raven's eyes widened. "They brought me here? I apologize, Solas. They or you could've woken me up and I would've gone to my room." At hearing such contriteness in her voice he suddenly realized how his explanation sounded and mentally cursed.

"It was no trouble, Da'len. When I'm tired things sometimes come out in ways that aren't intended. I was the one who insisted on you sleeping here. I apologize that it isn't as comfortable as your quarters." She seemed to relax with his explanation.

"Please, Solas. You know I love being in here. Thank you." Solas watched her drink the rest of her tea, put her cup on the table, stand up, and start to comb her long hair with her fingers where she eventually tied it back and out of her face with the band that had been around her wrist. With a kind farewell he watched as she grabbed her now empty cup and leave his office through the far door and he supposed it was that time; he hadn't slept since coming back and normally he was in his room until after the sun came up so it was strange to be awake and see her make her way to Cullen's office so casually before the sun even began to rise.

  
Cole watched her make her way from the library to Cullen's office from his place on the battlements. It was still dark and from his distance the only way he could really tell it was her was her copper hair. Even tied back it seemed to shine and reflect the dim light coming from the moon. Varric had gone to sleep over an hour ago after a long discussion about a lot of topics and leaving Cole with all he'd learned, more questions than he could keep track of, and entirely new feelings and as much as he wanted to go to Raven for help he felt he couldn't. She promised to be there for him the way a friend would, to still love him the way she loved everyone else but he was scared. Would she be disappointed in his choice? Would she be mad? Varric didn't think she would but part of him still didn't want to take that risk.

She was in Cullen's office for a long time and by the time she came out the sun was rising over the mountainside and her recruits wer getting ready in the lower courtyard. Cole still stood there watching, waiting, wondering if or when she would notice him. His stomach started to hurt and even though he wanted to go to Varric, Christopher, Solas, or even The Iron Bull he stood still and continued to watch. From the corner of his eye he could see Cullen come out of his office with papers in his hand and suddenly stop to watch her like he normally did. Waiting, longing, wanting, wishing that she would look up at him and smile, that she would kiss and touch him and want him like he wanted her; stomach turning, chest aching, growing nervous as she says things he would never expect, and those eyes the color of emeralds. Something about it made Cole want to look away from the man and he didn't know why. They were thoughts he'd often seen and heard from Cullen, nothing had changed.

"Good morning, Cole." It was Cullen who spoke. Had he been so in thought that he didn't hear the man and his clanky armor approach? Cole looked up at Cullen who was smiling kindly like he usually did, "I wasn't aware you were back. Raven didn't mention it." He continued.

"She wouldn't. She was sleeping when we came back last night and when I carried her to the couch in the room Solas uses." Cole explained as he looked away from Cullen and back to Raven training her recruits below ignoring the slight feeling of jealousy suddenly coming from the armored man.

"Well I bet she'll be excited once she sees you." The Commander replied as he put a hand to the back of his neck, an action Cole didn't have to see to know it was being done; His mind was elsewhere, seeing into Cullen's loud thoughts as he remembered carrying Raven in his arms when she came back from Val Royeaux with Josephine and Dorian; how small and light she was and how she curled into his chest. That had been months ago and Cullen could count on one hand the amount of times he'd been allowed to get closer to her since, the last being before Adamant when she allowed him to caress and massage her shoulder blades and neck. It had been the first time he'd seen her since she reached her breaking point five days prior. Five days with no one but Cole knowing how she was. He couldn't understand how she seemed to trust him implicitly and how he was the one she always went to. If she wanted comfort and warmth Cullen surely could've been there for her and given her what she needed. He couldn't see into her mind but he also wasn't a spirit, he was a human made of flesh and blood and warmth.

"Perhaps." Cole said so quietly that Cullen nearly missed his response. Had something happened between the two before Cole left with The Inquisitor, Varric, and Solas? He couldn't imagine Raven not telling him if there had. "I'm not me anymore. Well, I am but not really. I'm different."

"I don't see how that would make her any less excited to see you. She missed you while you were away." Cole could see it in Cullen's head.

"She didn't tell you that but you could sense it, feel it during the chess games in your office and in the garden. She reminded you of Mia then, always winning. Thank you for keeping her company. She enjoys spending time with you away from the Inquisition." Cullen stared at Cole as he spoke not sure how he should feel about having anyone or anything in his mind and reading his thoughts. He'd done it before on multiple occasions but at least it wasn't private like before.

"Just away from the Inquisition?" Cullen finally asked and Cole nodded.

"Yes. You're calmer, fun, don't judge or treat her like a child, and you make her laugh. She doesn't want to hit you as much." It was easy for Cole to see the surprise on Cullen's face. Even if he didn't suddenly feel it burst from him like a fresh wave Cullen's eyes widened and a noise left his mouth.

"She wants to hit me?" Cullen asked incredulously. He shouldn't have been surprised; there was no doubt that Raven wanted to hit him at least a few times in the months they'd known each other. She'd even admitted it to him once or twice like he admitted to wanting to shake some sense into her for those stupid and careless actions she'd taken in the past but hearing it from someone else, someone who was with her nearly all the time like a shadow or a bodyguard and who had the ability to see into her mind, was unsettling to him and he didn't know how else to reply.

"It isn't often anymore. It was a lot back in Haven, the camp after Haven, when we arrived at Skyhold, sometimes during council meetings, when you kissed her. She wasn't expecting to feel the way she did when you did that but it's been a while. She's happier now. Stronger and more relaxed too. I like her happy." Cullen's mind was still reeling when Varric showed up only a few moments later. The dwarf, as always, was dressed to impress with his chest on full display and his hair pulled back but he looked more tired than usual and it seemed to be a recurring theme.

"Hey Kid," Varric greeted quietly as he looked up to see shock on Curly's face. Whatever the Kid must've said he wasn't prepared for, "are you waiting for Ginger to finish up with the recruits?"

"I don't know." He answered honestly looking away from Cullen and down to his friend, "Do you think she'll want to see me now that I'm like this, more real than before?" Varric chuckled to hide his surprise at the Kid's question all while watching Curly stare at them both in utter confusion.

"I know for a fact she'll want to see you. There's nothing to worry about." He replied and could tell there were still doubts and most likely other thoughts floating around the Kid's head. Part of Varric wondered if he'd always had those thoughts or if it was one of the consequences of the choice he'd made to become more human. With a polite farewell Curly made his exit, something about delivering reports, and Varric watched the Kid's head turn to watch the Commander as he walked away before taking a seat on the high wall overlooking the lower courtyard.

"He's jealous of me." Cole muttered quietly while still trying to make sense of what he'd seen and felt from Cullen only minutes ago. Varric's eyes widened but he couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. Did that really have to be one of the first lessons he'd have to learn as a human? "'Why can't she want me like she wants him?'"

"Kid, a lot of people are probably jealous of you. Ginger is a strong and attractive woman whose caught the attention of a lot of people. Curly's one of them." Varric slowly explained while hoping it would catch on. Cole looked away from him and down to the small redhead below them currently demonstrating a new move on the man named Patrick. Cole had spoken to the man a couple times in the months since Raven started her training. The first time was without her present but both she and Patrick didn't know that. Cole had been angry while seeking the man out and the actions Patrick had taken during his first training session with Raven only made that anger worse. Even back then Cole couldn't understand why he was so upset but it worked, it helped. Patrick wasn't mean and hurtful anymore, he treated Raven the right way. That was for only him to know, no one else.

"What does that have to do with me?" Cole didn't take his eyes from the two as he asked.

"They want things from her; sex, marriage, power, or maybe something else since that list is pretty much endless. It all comes down to loyalty in the end and everyone who knows her and has seen you two together knows that her loyalty is yours." It took Cole a few moments to understand what Varric was speaking of. Cullen and others were jealous of him because of how close he and Raven were, the idea seemed silly to him. He could understand how others could want her friendship and other things; Varric was right in saying she was strong. She was fast, calculating, and vicious in the battlefield and could hold her own with the nobles of Val Royeaux. He also supposed that she was attractive with her soft red hair and green eyes but that wasn't everything, it couldn't be. She was funny and loved helping people and playing with animals.

"They don't need to be jealous Varric." Cole spoke with a confidence he didn't know he had and it made Varric shake his head before taking the step forward to lean on the wall Cole was sitting on so he could observe the events below.

"That's where you're wrong, Kid, and you should probably learn this now that you've chosen to grow as a person. If you were to leave she'd follow without question. This thing between you two is there and I'm not the only one whose seen it."

"Thing?" Cole looked down to his friend as he asked.

"Yeah. Thing. Whatever it is that causes you to watch her the way you do and her to go to you without second thoughts. Maybe you'll learn more as time goes by." Varric didn't doubt he would learn more from everyone he was round on a daily basis, Ginger included. He'd deny it but a part of that idea scared him. What if he did start to understand, what if whatever he was feeling grew. Would he be happy or end up regretting his decision in the time to come? From the grounds below it was Patrick that noticed the two; Cole sitting on the ledge and Varric leaning against it. Once he grabbed the practice dagger that was just knocked out of his hand he turned to tap Raven on the shoulder which stopped her mid sentence.

"What?" Her tone was clipped and it made him flinch. She hated being interrupted and maybe she already knew they were back and watching. When she turned to glare at him for not replying he pointed at the two observers and watched as her features suddenly softened making her look more her age than someone much older.

"Do you want me to take over?" He asked while silently praying to the Maker that he didn't just overstep his bounds and that she wouldn't assume she thought he was disrespecting her. Instead she looked back to him and shook her head.

"We'll be over soon." Was her reply before she turned her attention back to her men.

  
"You're a hard man to find when you want to be." Cole looked up from his place on Raven's bed to see her standing in the doorway. She didn't seem mad as she spoke, a little tired and relieved but not mad. He watched as she closed the door and went to her dresser where she undid her harness and put it and her daggers down. He had gone to her room an hour or so ago knowing she would talk to Varric first and then Christopher to hear what happened. It felt strange to be in her room alone. He knew she that she never cared before but would she have a problem now that he wasn't the same?

"I wasn't sure if you would want to see me. I'm different." Cole looked away not sure if he wanted to see her face now that she was closer so he waited for her words even knowing how cruel they could be. Those words never came though and he almost jumped back in surprise when she suddenly appeared in front of him, pressing her hands against his upper thighs, using them as leverage to lower herself to her knees and with one quick movement she was inbetween his legs. He could feel the warmth of the sun radiating from her skin. When Cole looked at her he could feel his chest tighten as his eyes met hers. While he was busy not looking at her he missed the smooth, graceful movements of her hands untying her hair. She was scared but Cole couldn't tell if she was scared of him or for him.

"I missed you." Her words were soft and he noticed her voice was lower than it usually was. "Are you alright?"

"The hurt is always there now." Cole answered while reaching forward to brush some of the long red hair away from her eyes only to have it fall back into place when she shook her head, "Varric is helping me."

Raven stared up at him from her spot on the floor. Now that they were closer, even in the dim light of the candles, she could observe the smaller differences like the way his skin felt warmer through his leathers and seemed less pale than before. He watched her lay her head down on his lap where she closed her eye, letting herself truly relax for the first time since he left.

"I like that you're more real." Her voice was so quiet that Cole almost didn't hear her, "You're still Cole. You'll always be Cole." As he stared down at her comfortably using his lap as a pillow he let himself smile while feeling foolish. All the worry and fear he felt at the possibility of her wanting nothing to to with him like Rhys had so long ago suddenly seemed silly and perhaps Varric was right; him changing didn't matter because she would care for him and be there for him no matter what he decided.

 


	24. Unpleasant Revelations

"I don't understand why I need a bath when I took one the other day." Cole complained aloud to Dorian for what must've been the fifth time since they entered the large bathroom together as he begrudgingly scrubbed his skin with the rag the Mage had given him. It was black and full of soap smelling like elfroot and sandalwood just like the hot water he was sitting in. Dorian chuckled from the other side of the bath as he stripped out of his robes and stepped into the hot water.  
  
"Humans sweat more than spirits, Cole. Now that you're human you have to bathe regularly or you'll start to stink and no one wants that. There's also the ball tonight and we both have to look and smell our best. I usually do but one can never be too careful when it comes to those Orlesians. You don't want Josephine to get angry, right?" He explained while pouring some of the soap from the bottle Raven had made and given him into his hands so he could begin washing his hair. It was different than the product he normally used but it smelled fantastic and he made a note to ask her for the recipe once they had time to sit down and catch up. In the weeks leading up to the ball Josephine and Vivienne had kept her busy with dress fittings, finding the perfect shoes, hair, dancing, etiquette, making sure she knew the face of every guest attending, and surely many other things Dorian didn’t want to think about.  
  
"But I don't want to go." Cole replied simply while still working on his arms. At least the rag given to him was softer than the one he had to use last time. He thought of all the times Raven had excused herself and disappeared after camp had been set up to go take a bath often coming back with damp hair and clothes but claiming she felt much better. He couldn't understand how she found it so enjoyable. His skin was starting to hurt. Maybe she did it a different way, Cole thought to himself and wondered if it would be appropriate to ask. Varric and Christopher had been teaching him about being proper and what were and were not appropriate questions but it was still hard to understand the rules when it came to his friendship with Raven. Lady Josephine had told him once that the things he and Raven often did _were_ inappropriate and surely Raven knew that after all the training she'd received and nobles she'd been around but the things they talked about and the things she did such as changing cloths in front of him, allowing him into her room whenever he wanted, letting him rest in her bed, and even curling up next to him where she'd often fall asleep broke all the rules everyone else had been trying to teach him. Was it wrong that he didn't care? He liked being around her; he liked the way she would laugh and tell stories, the way she would lean her head on his shoulder when she was tired without a care of who seemed to be around, and watching her with others.  
  
"Don't be like that. Raven will be there and you know how she gets around those nobles. You'll be helping her." Dorian tried to reason while looking over to Cole who was still working on scrubbing his arms and he could see through the lather that the skin was becoming pink though the young man didn't seem to notice, "You don't have to scrub so hard that your skin comes off, just the dirt." The distant look didn't fade from Cole's light blue eyes but Dorian could see the pressure lessen and soon he began to scrub other parts of his body all while ignoring the way the hot water stung the raw skin of his arms.  
  
"She isn't excited for tonight but they won't know that. They won't see anything under her mask of green and silver. Will I get a mask too?" Cole asked and Dorian could only shrug in response. He doubted it but didn't have the heart to say anything. As far as the mage knew the only member of the Inquisition that would be wearing a mask to the ball was to be Raven who would serve as a distraction while Christopher and the others, himself included, would try to make sure the Empress stayed safe.  
  
"Probably not. I'm sure if you want one Josephine or Raven can take you to that shop in Val Royeaux." Dorian glanced over to see Cole washing his neck and chest and was truly surprised in the many changes, physical included, that had occurred lately. In the couple months after Cole had been back after the trip with Varric, Solas, and Christopher where he made the conscious decision to grow as a person Dorian was right in guessing that the list of things Cole would probably learn would be endless. Between eating, trying to sleep, etiquette, hygiene, fashion, basic conversation, and even sex Dorian wasn't the only one to have his hands full or nearly have an aneurism caused by some of the questions to leave the pale lad's mouth. News of what happened to Cole spread fast among the inner circle and it seemed as if everyone wanted to give him some advice. Everyone but Raven anyway and that was probably for the best. From what Dorian had been told she didn't tell him what he needed to learn and how he needed to act. Instead when he had questions about what someone had said to him she was there with a simple and honest explanation. According to them both, and much to the dismay of Josephine and Cullen, Raven still welcomed Cole into her room whenever he was tired or when humanity seemed to become too much and he supposed he wasn't the only one thankful for her and all she'd done to help.  
  
"She looks better in them than I do. I'm not pretty enough." Cole heard himself reply as he continued to wash himself. Now that he wasn't rubbing the rag against his skin so hard it was starting to feel good, the combination of the hot water, soap, and smooth rag made his skin sensitive. He wasn't looking at Dorian as he spoke, his mind was back at Skyhold in Lady Josephine's office when Raven had tried on the mask she was to wear to the ball for the first time. When she turned to smile at him, not caring about anyone else's awe and praise, only wanting his, Cole had been left speechless. It wasn't that he knew the words and they just wouldn't come out but that the words were gone and he remembered only nodding and receiving a smile from her unlike any he'd ever seen. Had she always been so... It had been weeks and every time it came to his mind he still couldn't think of the words that would be right to describe her. So many came close but none were good enough and he didn't want to ask Varric or Dorian either.  
  
"I don't doubt that, her cheekbones are fantastic. You're starting to turn into a handsome young man, yourself though." Dorian commented while trying to keep a straight face only to receive a look from the newly turned human as he shook his head.  
  
"The mask Raven had fit so well. Brilliant, dazzling, heavenly, stunning as she looks at me, happy when I smiled at her. It felt strange when she suggested I try it on." Stunning and heavenly, Dorian caught on as he continued to look at Cole who was no longer paying attention. He'd have to use those next time he was with Bull.  
  
"Those types of masks are made for one individual person. They're going to feel funny if you try them on and you aren't the one it was made for. Don't forget to wash your hair." Cole nodded though he didn't say anything and it was quiet as both continued to bathe. Dorian glanced at the boy from time to time to make sure all was going smoothly but eventually finished and Cole didn't object to him leaving. In the silence and absence of friends he had more time to focus on the task at hand; how would he know when he was done and why did fingers and toes become like prunes if he stayed in the water too long? Cole eventually put the rag on the edge of the bath, brought water up to wet his hair, and picked up the bottle of shampoo. It wasn't like the type Raven had made for Dorian. Unlike elfroot and sandalwood he liked the one she made for herself much more that smelled of lavender and honey so she often made enough for them both now that he was to take baths regularly. He still didn't know how to thank her.  
  
  
It was an hour later when Cole finally made it back to the room he was supposed to be staying in. Dorian was seated in a chair not far from the fireplace already dressed in the formal red uniforms they were supposed to all wear. He looked up from his book for a moment and let his eyes meet Cole's before looking down again and turning the page while Cole continued to make his way over to the large bed.  
  
"Josephine requested that I help you get ready. With any luck we'll be able to find a place to hide your new daggers." The Mage explained and Cole stopped in his tracks to look at his friend who hadn't stopped reading. What did he mean _new daggers_ , he wondered and his eyes glanced to the beautiful pair Raven commissioned Harritt to make for him the first time they traveled to the Western Approach together lying on the wooden dresser across the room in a harness that closely resembled Raven's.  
  
"But I already have daggers." Cole replied simply, his eyes going back to Dorian who had held out a wooden box that seemed to appear from out of nowhere. Even from where he stood Cole could see that the box had been stained a color darker than what the wood normally was and it was glossy enough to reflect the flames of the fire. It reminded him of a campfire and he wondered if that was intentional or pure accident.  
  
"And now you have new daggers. Leliana dropped them off as a favor for Raven shortly after I arrived. I swear, if Bull gave me gifts as often as Raven gives them to you I truly don't know what I would do with myself." Dorian exclaimed, only half serious, while standing up with his book and the box in hand. At the mention of her name Cole looked away from the box and up to Dorian to see him smiling. He didn't understand, why would Raven give him another pair? The ones she'd had made before were perfect, sharp, beautiful, and always listened to him. After a moment Cole stepped forward and took the box from Dorian who used the opportunity to mark his place in the book and set it down on the large wooden chair. "Hurry up and open it, I want to see." He demanded and Cole complied though he was careful when doing so. The lid slid off easily and both men's eyes widened at the sight; placed carefully amongst ring velvet were two new daggers. Cole wasn't familiar enough with crafting materials to know what they were made out of but that didn't matter. They were beautiful and smaller than the pair he'd been using with sharp glossy blades that reminded him of some of the jewels he'd seen people wear and matching black hilts. He could feel the patience, care, and dedication put into them, see in his mind her meticulously inspecting each one before giving her approval like he'd seen her do before. Tucked in the corner was a small note and Cole was greeted with Raven's smooth and pretty flowing words as he opened it.  
  
" _'Smaller daggers are easier to conceal. Please be safe tonight and save a dance for me.'_ " Cole read aloud and looked at Dorian who was still staring at the beautifully crafted weapons. They were made of dragon bone and though it was clearly obvious Cole didn't know that at least Dorian was able to see the meaning behind such a gesture. Of course it wasn't a secret that those two cared for each other but such an exquisite gift like those beautifully crafted dragon bone daggers had to clearly mean something more than just Cole's safety. Was Raven aware of what others could possibly say, he wondered and then decided that she probably wouldn't care. Ever since he'd known her she'd never cared for romance and things becoming too personal with those who wanted her or perhaps she just didn't understand it. The girl was foolish enough to turn down the Commander, for Maker's sake and that was a fine specimen if he ever did see one. He supposed Cole wasn't bad considering the changes the young lad was still going through but what about him would catch Raven's attention? Had it been going on long?  
  
"They are very beautiful, Cole." Dorian finally spoke while putting on a smile. Cole nodded and without closing the box put it down on the bed next to the clothes already laid out for him.  
  
"I want to - What can I give her in return?" Cole stuttered asking the question while adjusting the towel around himself. He'd run it over his hair before leaving the bathroom but it was still damp and had yet to bebrushed; not that he cared about its state. Dorian busied himself with the task of grabbing a brush off the nearby table and brushing the lad's damp blond hair while thinking of an answer to that question. Raven never expected or asked of anything in return, seeming only to care for others. If she wanted something she bought it or even made it herself. As her friend he knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't want anything and if it was brought up she'd treat it like it wasn't important. Maybe it wasn't to her and he supposed that as annoying as it could be it was part of her charm.  
  
"That's a good question. You know her better than I do." Dorian didn't stop what he was doing as he replied and Cole didn't move as Dorian worked some sort of product that smelled like cedar into his hair. He knew she wouldn't want anything but he wanted to give her something anyway; something to make her smile, something that showed how much he cared for her in return. He'd heard of that custom among the many others in the couple months after he'd made his choice to become more human. Cole didn't fully understand it at first and truthfully didn't care but when it came to her and everything she'd done for him he found himself wanting to give her everything but never knew how.  
  
"Dorian, how do you thank The Iron Bull?" Cole asked suddenly hoping it would help and the Mage felt his stomach flip. He did a lot of things to thank Bull for the small, subtle actions the large Qunari would make and none of them were appropriate to talk about, especially with Cole. Solas and Varric would have his beautiful head on a silver platter.  
  
"In ways that are best left unsaid." His tone was clipped and as he worked to try and change the subject Cole caught glimpses of what was going through his friends mind. Most of it he'd already seen from his years in the Spire but unlike the scared mages, hushed whispers, and desperate attempts to grasp comfort before the Templars came Dorian's thoughts were different and full of long, drawn out massages, lingering kisses, words spoken in native tongues, chests tightening, pleasure that lasted for hours that left them both exhausted and satisfied. Cole didn't know it was possible to thank someone like Dorian did and it was strange the way his stomach suddenly felt funny at the notion of thanking Raven in such a way. Would she allow him to touch and kiss her? Would she like it? Would he? His mind was suddenly eager and he felt restless. Cole wasn't a stranger to overhearing and seeing the lingering thoughts of others when it came to Raven, some had more vivid ideas than others and as of late he wasn't sure why he was starting to dislike them he just knew he did. Wanting to hit people was a regular occurrence and it was one of the many things Varric was helping him with. He never told his friend the reason and was grateful that Varric never asked.  
  
"What is it like to kiss someone?" Cole's question nearly caused Dorian to drop the crystal bottle he was holding. With a silent curse and grasping at ideas of what to say he moved around to face the pale young man who was still facing ahead.  
  
"You don't need to know that now let us switch the subject."  
  
"But you thank The Iron Bull that way. I want to thank Raven. 'Warm, safe, hearts beating, fingers gliding over skin, lips moving together, the ale tastes better this way, never thought I'd feel or deserve this and he should know, needs to know even if I can't say the words at least I can show I care." Cole persisted, eyes peering into Dorian's. He had to know, had to understand if he had any chance of thanking her and showing her he cared too, "Do you think she would let me?"  
  
"Friends don't kiss each other to say 'thank you'. I thank Bull that way because we're lovers and that's something you and Raven are not." Dorian explained through clenched teeth. The last thing he expected to be on his agenda for the night was to have such conversations with the young man facing him. Cole stared at Dorian while contemplating and slowly beginning to understand his words. They were lovers which was why it was acceptable. Raven was just his friend. She wasn't his lover, she wasn't his anything and if he were to kiss her as a Thank You or for any other reason it would be wrong, inappropriate, and she would probably be angry with him like she used to be with Cullen and he didn't want that. He didn't want to lose her. Cole looked away when he felt his stomach drop. Why did that thought hurt so much, more than the others he's had since becoming human?  
  
  
"I don't care if you like the heels more," Raven exclaimed while looking at Josephine in the large mirror, "If you want me to dance throughout the night without falling on my ass then I'm not wearing them. The flats are gorgeous and so much more comfortable." The Antivan let out an exasperated sigh and threw a pleading look to Cassandra who appeared to not be paying attention. Unlike Josephine who was taking the ball way too seriously and Raven who wanted nothing more than to back him at Skyhold that, at least, feigned excitement Cassandra was pissed at being forced to waste her time among people she despised when more important things could be done.  
  
"It would make a better impression if you wore the heels, Raven. The court has standards and expectations tha -"  
  
"Josie I have met nearly every man and woman attending the ball tonight and they all expect me to be my usual short, adorable, and charming self. I'll gossip when needed, laugh when it's called for, and dance with any man or woman that requests me to do so but I can't do that if I can barely walk." Raven had come prepared for battle and had thought out valid arguments on the carriage ride from Skyhold. Josephine wanted to argue but a quick glance to Cassandra who was looking at the Antivan while shaking her head caused her to swallow any attempts at trying to get the stubborn redhead to do something she clearly didn't want to do. Josephine was lucky Raven even chose to attend at all despite all the invitations she'd received and she knew it would be wise to not push the young girl into anything. She'd come a long way and the transformation in the last four months had been more than drastic. While she still maintained her genuine personality, eagerness to learn, and natural eloquence when it came to people she'd calmed down to the point where she no longer minded staying at Skyhold while Christopher and whoever he selected would leave to attend business that needed to be done. It was that same calm and peaceful disposition that prompted multiple letters of proposal from many of the single noblemen of Orlais and Nevarra including one from Duke Henry Durand, the handsome man Raven was to attend the ball with later that evening though she knew nothing of it. Things had been so hectic in the past couple weeks and she planned on talking to Raven about the proposals once everything calmed down.

The sound of the door opening caused Josephine to turn just in time to see Leliana enter the room and close the door behind her. Raven turned to smile and received one in return as well as a nod from the spymaster. The younger redhead let out a sigh of relief and finally stood up from the chair she'd been sitting in with little difficulty and such grace it was astounding to realize that she was already laced into a green satin corset the same color as her dress. Her hair and makeup had been done not long ago, it was something Raven insisted on doing herself and all the women were pleased that she'd kept her long hair down so it around her shoulders to eventually land in soft curls at her waist and her makeup light and natural. All that seemed to be left was for her to step into the dress hanging across the room.  
  
"I assume Dorian was with him?" She asked and Leliana shook her head in reply.  
  
"He was the only one there. Cole was still in the bath." She explained and Raven nodded. Dorian would most likely look at the daggers before giving them to Cole which she didn't mind. He might appreciate the craftsman ship and the finish on the dragon bone but it was Cole's opinion she cared about. A month and a half ago she'd commissioned the daggers specifically for the ball knowing the smaller size would be easier to conceal and would be easier to use in tight spaces if the situation arose. He wasn't a spirit anymore and his skin no longer healed up as fast if he was hurt. Raven and Cole had both found that out at the same time while sparring together and although it was an accident and he didn't scar she still felt terrible.  
  
"That's fine. Thank you, Leliana. Everything else is going well?" Again Leliana nodded. The Inquisition had some guards that had been brought in, Christopher was with the Grand Duke Gaspard, and the few nobles she'd met along the way we're all in good spirits and eager to see Raven and the other members of the Inquisition. Some were concerned that Christopher was a Mage but she had no worries that he wouldn't win at least most of them over by the end of the night.  
  
"Duke Henry is excited to see you Raven. As you will be attending the ball as his guest you will be riding to the Winter Palace with him and should be there before we will. I hope you don't mind." Josephine ran over the plan hoping Raven wouldn't object to being alone for so long. With a handful of others in a familiar setting such as Val Royeaux or Skyhold was one thing but there were to be at least two hundred on the guest list and Josephine wasn't sure how familiar Raven was with the Winter Palace. She almost had to do a double take when Raven simply shrugged.  
  
"Sounds good. I know my way around and Henry will be with me. When is he scheduled to be here?" Despite her nonchalance for the women in the room who had been around her and knew her it was easy to tell that at least small part of her was nervous. She wouldn't be so serious otherwise and Josephine made a note to mention it to Cole when she saw him later that night.

  
In Duke Henry Duran's opinion, he was a good man. Born into a wealthy family of Ferelden thirty-four years ago, at the age of twelve he was sent to live with his uncle in Orlais when his parents died. Throughout his short life he'd joined the Orlesian army, invested in the right businesses, and earned the title of Duke. Like every noble in Orlais he mastered The Game but despised the deceit and politics around it. Making the choice to become involved with the Inquisition had been something he'd done months ago on a whim to spite all the fellow nobles he couldn't stand that were against such a heretical movement and he'd had yet to regret a single part of it. In the beginning he was sure The Inquisition would fail but surprisingly the group of misfits and that circle Mage from the Free Marches were gaining power and influence all across Thedas for one deed or another but putting all that aside at least one good thing seemed to come out of it and it wasn't the reputation he'd received as an Inquisition ally. Even if we're a bad reputation Henry wouldn't deny that the beautiful, young redhead that sat across from him looking out her window dressed in silver and emerald lace and satin was definitely worth any public backlash he could face from his fellow noblemen, then again, they all seemed as captivated with the young woman as he was and he couldn't blame them. Raven was beautiful with the grace, skill, and intelligence to rival any man he'd ever met in chess, battle strategy, and even politics though she wasn't arrogant about it. He'd also learned in the months he'd known her that she had a strong side, speaking her mind and putting those in their correct place when they were wrong or needed to be taken down a couple levels. With any luck she would be his before the end of the season and he could take her away from the harsh conditions of the Inquisition where the revealing leather corsets and breeches they insisted she wear would be replaced with silk gowns and she wouldn't be forced to wake before sunset to train behemoth men that their Templar Commander couldn't or be forced to associate with brutish Qunari, a Vint Mage, or rumored demon anymore. She would be treated better than royalty and the thought of her finally allowing him into that young pale body of hers where he'd fill her again and again until she grew plump and round with his children excited him more than anything. It was about time he settled down with a wife and had many kids and Raven was the one he wanted.  
  
"Raven are you excited to see the Winter Palace?" Henry asked and Raven looked at him. He was handsome with his brown hair, tanned skin, and tailored black suit with green accents to match her dress. She had to remind herself that she was supposed to play sweet and ignorant so she smiled.  
  
"I'm very excited to see it. Have you been there before?" She asked and continued to keep her attention on the man sitting across from her.  
  
"The Empress has a ball at least once a year and not because of peace talks. I've gone every year since being given my title. If tonightgoes well perhaps you might accompany me to her next one." He suggested with a smile.  
  
"Perhaps. Who knows what the future holds. Hopefully by then Corypheus will be gone." Raven knew better, of course, but it wasn't like she would tell that to Henry. She hadn't even brought it up to Christopher or anyone else in the Inquisition though there was that possibility that Cole knew. She wondered how he was and what he was doing. Did he like his daggers and was he able to conceal them under his formal attire like she had been able to with the veil quartz daggers strapped to her thighs? Henry continued to stare at her in silence wondering if she was playing coy or if she hadn't been told about his proposal. He was aware other nobles had sent letters of a similar nature; was she aware? With all she was forced to do within the Inquisition it wouldn't surprise him if she was kept in the dark.  
  
"We can only hope. Is there anything in particular you're hoping to do tonight?" His question seemed normal enough but Raven caught the tightness in his tone.  
  
"I'd love to view the gardens and dance." And keep you all distracted while Christopher gets to have fun, she thought only somewhat bitterly. She'd told him about Florianne's plan before they left which would make the night easier. Of course he would have to go through the process of gathering evidence and do what needed to be done. Cole would be with them and could easily delve into her mind for the information; what they all had to do and what they had to say in order to make the night go as smooth as possible and to gain as much approval with the court because in the Winter Palace approval was almost everything. Henry seemed to be satisfied with her answer and didn't say anything else so she returned her attention to the view outside the carriage window in time to see the gates of the Palace pass them by signaling their arrival.  
  
The Winter Palace was quite possibly the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen; almost a fortress within itself made up of glass, white marble, many gold and blue embellishments, and more secrets hidden inside than the ancient tombs  
of Egypt. From what Raven could see through the small carriage window approximately thirty guests had arrived so far and were enjoying their time in the palace courtyard. All eyes were on them as Henry was the first to get out of the carriage and turn to escort Raven. She remembered to smile, thank him softly, and then gazed at the Palace and all its beauty as he took her hand gently and lead her to a couple that Raven knew all too well as the Viscount and Viscountess De Chamberline. She had only met them a handful of times but they were always very gracious and hospitable. The Viscount thoroughly enjoyed his wine and his wife and in return his wife enjoyed elf servants after her husband was asleep. Her last trip to Skyhold to visit Raven she'd taken a momentary interest in Solas which was something Raven politely and quickly put an end to.  
  
They both gave her kind words of greeting once she and Henry were only a foot away; the Viscount kissing her hand and his wife kissing her cheek before their attentions turned to Henry. It turned into a type of routine with the twenty-eight other nobles they approached and that greeted them the exact same way that when, from the corner of her eye, she saw Christopher come in through the gates with Cassandra, Cole, and Dorian in tow she politely excused herself and made her way over to the small bunch. Christopher was the first to notice and if it weren't for her long bright red hair he wouldn't have recognized her in the beautiful flowing green and silver gown and matching mask.  
  
"Inquisitor," Raven greeted Christopher with his official title and a smile out of respect for him and because others were watching, "It feels like forever since I have seen you. I trust your trip went smoothly?" He regarded her for a moment before noticing the eyes on him and put on his most charming smile.  
  
"It is always a joy to see you Lady O'Hara, you look stunning tonight." Christopher replied using a voice just as fake and cheery and Raven had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. A hand sliding around her waist caused her to tense and hold back her initial reaction to hit the offender but as she turned to see Henry beside her she only relaxed somewhat. He was smiling down at her but there was something in his eyes that she suddenly didn't like though she couldn't tell what it was.  
  
"You look stunning every time I see you." He said quietly and turned his attention to Christopher and the others, "Forgive me, I don't think we've been introduced. I am Duke Henry Durand." That snapped Raven out of her thoughts and she chuckled before stepping out of reach.  
  
"Forgive me. Henry this is Inquisitor Christopher Trevelyan, Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast, Dorian Pavus of Tevinter, and Cole. Everyone, as you know, this is Duke Henry Durand." Raven was quick in her introductions and glanced at each of her friends as she did so. When Cole's eyes met hers she felt much better about the night so far. There was no doubt he would disappear to the upstairs library once going inside and she couldn't blame him. At least she would be able to find him if it suddenly became too much.  
  
Cole stared at Raven even though Dorian's words about not doing so were fresh in his mind. He couldn't help it. She was like a fairy in her flowing dress that once he saw her he couldn't look away. He didn't want to but when he did and instead looked at the man she was with Cole felt anger and the need to protect her fill his body so fast he had to brace himself. The man's thoughts were dark, jealous, hateful, possessive. 'No one else can have her. I'll take her away so she won't be forced to associate with Vint blood Mages, Qunari's, or lurking demons. She will belong only to me. Who actually let a demon join the Inquisition anyway?'. Raven wouldn't like that if she knew and Cole desperately wanted to tell her, wanted to plea that she stay away from that man for good.  
  
"It's an honor meeting all of you." Henry did his best to keep his smile, hating how the moment they arrived his future intended ran off to greet them as if she actually enjoyed their company. He let his eyes wander and finally land on Cole, a skinny blond boy wearing the same Inquisition attire as the others and he had to wonder what position such a tiny excuse of a thing could ever have in such a large political movement. His pale blue eyes met Henry's and he saw the boy visibly stiffen and look back to Raven.  
  
"Cole is everything alright?" Henry looked down at Raven. Her concern was genuine and already he could tell she was ready to step out of his grasp and go to him if needed. How had he known her, talked to her, and spent time with her over the previous months and not known about the young man she seemed to care so deeply for?  
  
"I'm sure he's just excited to see the palace. It's beautiful." Christopher spoke with a smile.  
  
"It is," She agreed without looking at him. Her eyes remained on Cole even after Henry, once again, tightened his grip around her slender waist and the petty possessiveness was starting to annoy her, "Perhaps later we can take a walk around the gardens, I hear the flowers this time of year are breathtaking." Henry didn't show it but anger filled him at that point. She was to be his and now she was offering to gallivant around the gardens with some poor excuse of a man in Inquisition clothing right in front of him? His hand twitched but he hid it. Cole noticed and it only increased his worry for her. How could Lady Josephine or Leliana let her spend time with a man so violent, dark, and possessive?  
  
"I like flowers. I would love to." He replied as he finally looked away from Henry and over to Raven just in time to see a smile that he could only describe as joyous replace the worried expression on her face.  
  
"Raven, why don't we head inside. I'm sure you're thirsty by now." Raven looked at Henry and silently nodded. She bid goodbye to her friends and followed Henry to the large double doors. Cole continued to watch, mind frantic at the things he'd just heard and seen from the man Raven so willingly went with. Would she have stayed if he asked, he wondered.  
  
"He wants to take her." Cole minutes quietly enough so only Christopher and Dorian could hear. They both looked at him and Dorian even smiled clearly not knowing what he meant.  
  
"She's a beautiful young woman. I'm sure many men would like to take her." He replied and Cole shook his head.  
  
"He wants to take her away from the Inquisition. 'No more brutish Qunari, Vint blood mages, or being forced to train solders that idiot Commander can't. She'll belong only to me and I'll fill her again and again until she's round and fat with my children'. He wants to hurt her, hit her, show her that she can never have anyone else." His words remained quick and quiet while he barely held himself together, wanting nothing more than to go after them. People would see him and he couldn't make them forget. Christopher and Dorian continued to stare at him and at that moment the Grand Duke Gaspard chose to make an entrance.  
  
"Dorian take Cole to Leliana. I'll see you soon." Christopher replied with one of the cheeriest fake smiles Dorian had ever seen.  
  
"A woman's ring in the front right planter. Caprice coins. A key in the flowers of the upper left side. Remember to find the halla statues and secrets." Cole's voice was still quiet and Christopher nodded before approaching Gaspard with a neutral expression. Dorian continued to regard Cole knowing that if something were to happen to Raven there was no way to stop him from hunting down that man and killing him.  
  
"Alright, Cole. Let's go find Leliana while pretending to gawk and appreciate how pretty everything is." Dorian's tone was light and not how he truly felt at all. Raven was a good friend and not only because she was had a usually fantastic sense of style or was a wonderful conversationalist. She didn't judge him for being from Tevinter or for preferring the company of men. He hadn't told her but she was there when he told Christopher in a moment of weakness after the meeting with his father. When she approached after Christopher left he expected that she'd be angry or even disgusted and she was only it wasn't he to invoke that anger. It was his father and seeing what wasn't sympathy or pity, but rage, for what had been done back in Tevinter made him realize that he'd come to think of her as a friend. How could he not? And as his friend he had to help her.  
  
"Everything is pretty." Cole said quietly liking the blues and golds and the masks they all wore. It didn't stop the thoughts they all had but certainly made them easier to hide.  
  
Cole and Dorian kept close through the courtyard and up the steps past Christopher who was still speaking with Gaspard while ignoring the gazes and hushed whispers of the nobles around them. As they entered through the doors, passing Palace guards as they did so Josephine met them in the hallway. She was dressed in the same attire as the two men approaching and it was strange seeing her out of her gold ruffles but she looked beautiful all the same. She smiled when she first saw them but after noticing their faces it quickly vanished and Cole felt bad; she was under so much stress already that it seemed almost unfair to tell her but that horrible man's thoughts still played in his mind and Raven would be upset if he approached the man about them.  
  
"What is it?" She asked quietly when Dorian and Cole approached her together. Both looked impeccable in their attire and Josephine knew she had made the right choice in asking Dorian to help Cole prepare for the night and though she had little interest in Cole she couldn't deny that his change a few months back had certainly brought out his more physically attractive qualities. Someone was wrong though and Josephine really didn't need more on her plate than she already had.  
  
"It's Raven." Dorian replied just as quietly and to the point knowing she still had so much to do, "I know tonight is important and we have an Empress to protect but if you can ask Leliana and Cullen to make sure she doesn't go anywhere alone with that man she's with we would both appreciate it."  
  
Josephine couldn't control her eyes as they went wide or her mouth as it opened slightly. What in Andraste's name were they talking about, she wanted to demand but didn't. Henry was a wonderful person and Raven seemed to enjoy his company as much as she seemed to enjoy everyone else's. "I beg your pardon," she finally spoke once she composed herself, "what are you talking about? Duke Durand is her date and he has treated Raven with nothing but the highest respect."  
  
"He wants her." She looked to Cole as he spoke, his eyes wide and she was grateful no one else was entering. His words were nothing new; Josephine might not have been the most exuberant or experienced in the Inquisition but she wasn't blind to the looks most men and even some women have Raven on a regular basis or deaf to the whispers.  
  
"I hardly think that you need to concern yourself with who wants her. If you don't mind I have other things to attend to. Tonight is very important and please try to remain on your best behavior. No lurking, no blatant disrespect, or answering people's thoughts." As harsh as she seemed Josephine felt a twinge of guilt as she walked away to greet the Viscount and Viscountess De Chanberline as they made their way, hand in hand, through the gate.  
  
  
Raven had to pee, there was no doubt about it. The moment Henry escorted her into the ballroom he'd done his best to make sure that when she wasn't dancing she always had something to drink. He knew she didn't drink alcohol so it was always water in those beautiful crystal glasses he'd give her. Three hours, sixteen glasses of water, and twenty-seven dance partners later her feet hurt and she had to pee and was so grateful for a woman Raven had never met who called herself Duchess Andre invited her to the powder room.  
  
"You were truly a spectacle out on the dance floor, My Dear." The older woman cooed happily from across the room as Raven carefully did her business, "What I wouldn't give to be forty years younger."  
  
"I imagine you would still be just as beautiful." Raven commented with a smile. The woman was still giggling when she came out from behind the curtain to wash her hands in the bath of cool water. She was the only woman not wearing gloves and didn't mind, preferring to feel with bare skin rather than simply guess.  
  
"I had red hair like yours back in my day." The woman replied with a smile and Raven eyes the silver hair pulled back with purple ribbons to match her dress.  
  
"Hopefully mine looks as beautiful when I'm your age then." The Countess chuckled as they slowly made their way back to the ballroom through the foyer. Raven noticed Christopher, Cassandra, Dorian, and Cole lingering near the stairs to the royal wing and let out a quiet sigh of relief. They were almost done and shortly after that they could all leave for the night. The nobles of Orlais were charming and Raven understood they had to be as it was all part of the game, the music and dancing was a sight in itself that Raven had no adequate words for, and what little food she'd consumed since entering the Palace had been delicious. Henry was the problem. If it weren't for him she wouldn't want to leave and while Raven could understand that she did accept his invitation it didn't mean she was a trophy to show off especially to those who already knew her. Throughout the night his attitude grew more and more bitter towards her every time a noble made a joke and she laughed or broke away from him to dance with another, something he knew she would be doing as they had discussed it weeks ago. She was a part of the Inquisition and serving as a distraction to as many nobles as she could so Christopher could protect the empress all while she worked on gaining power, influence, secrets, favors, and allies. His fascination with Cole also bothered her; Wanting to know who he was, where he came from, his families lineage, what his position was within the Inquisition, how Raven cared for him, and even went as far to ask why she never brought him up in conversation. Raven answered nothing when it came to her friend. It wasn't Henry's position to question her and the fact that he thought he could as if she was one of his servants or belonged to him in any way was ridiculous and if he continued Raven would make sure he and his possessive, petty, and jealous behavior would never conduct any formal business with the Inquisition again. They had enough power and hadn't been considered a heretical movement since the attack on Haven when Corypheus revealed himself.  
  
"I hear you are with the Inquisition. Is that true?" The older woman asked with a smile and Raven returned it with one of her own.  
  
"This is true, Madame." Raven confirmed as they stopped in the middle of the foyer at the other woman's wishes.  
  
"What do you do within the Inquisition. It's hard to picture you as anything but a pretty face even with the way your companions have been watching you. Those young blond men specifically." The bluntness and no nonsense words made Raven smile even more. Was she not playing The Game like everyone else?  
  
"I'm mostly an advisor to the Inquisitor." She answered, "I've had the privilege to meet with many of the noble houses of Orlais who are interested in helping the Inquisition as well as train its recruits and scouts and learn from Lady Montilyet, Commander Cullen, and Mistress Nightingale in the process." The woman stopped her before Raven could continue.  
  
"A small and sweet young woman like yourself trains Inquisition soldiers?" Her tone was one of incredulity but she didn't stop her smile.  
  
"Yes, Madame. Commander Cullen insisted. Where most of the men are used to fighting fellow men with swords and shields I fight with daggers and ranged weapons." The older woman then let out what can only be described as an excited chuckle.  
  
"Smart, beautiful, and dangerous. It's no wonder you have the attention of those young blond men, my nephew, and every other man here." Raven stared at the woman trying to piece together all that she said. Blonds were obviously Cullen and Cole who had a sweet and annoying habit of watching to make sure she was okay but who was her nephew? Raven felt as if she should know this and worked as fast as she could to sift through all that she'd learned about the noble houses in Orlais. "Of course," The older woman continued, "Henry doesn't stand a chance."  
  
"Forgive me but that isn't for you to say, Aunt Charlotte." Raven heard his voice before she even knew he was in the room it's them. When the older woman and she had left Henry was amidst conversation with many others and she had to wonder when he left and how long he'd been waiting, if he had been waiting anyway. She looked at the older woman before making sure she had on one of of her many fake smiles and turning to look at him. He wasn't smiling. In fact, he looked angry behind the mask and she wasn't sure if it was directed at her or his aunt.  
  
"Your Aunt is merely expressing her concern, Henry. I didn't keep my focus on the Inquisition a secret. You know I have no interest in settling down when there is still so much that needs to be done." And it was true. Raven had made that clear with Henry and every other single nobleman she'd met the last few months that had shown an interest.  
  
"Are they really so incompetent that they have resort to putting all responsibility on a young girl who is obviously suited for much better things?" Henry countered and Raven didn't mistake the disgust laced within his voice. Anger flooded her but she kept her fake smile and composure. How dare he say such a thing!  
  
"With all due respect, Henry, you don't know the workings of the Inquisition. I am the best at what I do and I don't appreciate your skepticism and blatant disrespect for my friends or your disregard for me doing something that I love." She was quiet as she spoke, mindful of anyone coming or going from the Great Hall. Henry looked at her with such anger that if she didn't know how to defend herself she would be scared. Before he could respond loud footsteps could be heard rushing from the hallway leading to the gardens and Raven sighed in relief when Christopher was the one to cone around the corner followed by Cassandra, Dorian, and Cole.  
  
"Is everything ready?" Raven asked quickly as Christopher approached. He nodded and was quick to assess the situation in front of him, not sure if she was alone with the Duke or if he'd interrupted time between the two women. Josephine was to make sure she remained in the ballroom around the other nobles.  
  
"It is. Cole, you and Dorian assist Raven in whatever way she needs while Cassandra and I confront the Duchess." He glared at Henry as he spoke, not in the mood for anymore fake formalities. He was tired of the formal clothes and hidden meanings in the words people spoke. How Raven, Leliana, and Josephine did it so long and often was beyond him. Cole nodded and watched Christopher and Cassandra enter the ballroom before facing Raven and the man next to her. The Duke was angry, furious even, close to lashing out like an animal and Raven was his target. She had rejected him, 'stupid insolent bitch!' Cole stepped forward but stopped when Raven raised her hand.  
  
"Do you honestly think it's appropriate for a small thing like you and a blood Mage to interrupt something that is obviously no concern of yours?" Henry's tone was low and his teeth were clenched. That Raven dared to think that she didn't need him and that their beloved Inquisitor thought having those two interfere would be helpful was outlandish. Cole was just as angry, Henry's vile, horrid, condemning thoughts fueling the fire and at that moment he didn't care if he was going against her wishes. Henry raised his hand and made a move to strike but Cole wasted no time in his actions, suddenly appearing in front of the man and slamming him into the wall. Raven would be mad at him but he would beg for forgiveness later.  
  
"Such loud, angry thoughts. Twisting, turning, corrupting the mind and soul within, keeping them in a dark, cold chamber. She doesn't want you but that doesn't matter. You'll take her anyway. 'She'll be mine before the end of the season. I'll take her away from disgusting, brutal Qunari's, Vint blood mage's, and demons, she'll wear silk dresses that stretch over her fat, round stomach that I helped create with my seed. You are low. Cruel, and you will never have her." Cole spoke in an even tone and as Henry to tried to escape Cole only increased the pressure on the mans chest. Cole was surprised when Henry smiled at him.  
  
"You think she'll want a small, weak man like yourself? You wouldn't even know what to do with that chance if you had it. At least with me she'd be doing something with her life instead of wasting it as a slave to that Mage's cause." Henry's words echoed in his mind. They weren't just words, they were what he truly believed and Cole had to wonder where such hateful, hurtful thoughts came from. It wasn't until a small, gentle hand rested on his shoulder that Cole looked away to see Raven, as stunning as ever, by his side. She smiled before turning to the man Cole still had pinned.  
  
"I didn't want to do it this way but you really haven't given me a choice. You have disrespected the people I hold dearest in this world and the Inquisition itself. Cole is ten times the man you'll ever hope to be. Duke Henry Durand, as an advisor to the Inquisition it's my job to tell you that any connections you have we no longer need and anything you need from us is no longer at your disposal. Shall you try to contact the Inquisition again I will personally send my very big and brutish Qunari friend to you with a reply. If Leliana hears anything negative coming from you in regards to the Inquisition or its members I will not hesitate to come after you myself." She kept her smile as she spoke, the first real smile she'd displayed all night. Henry stood there, still angry but significantly more terrified at the thought of The Iron Bull. When Cole pulled his arm away the Duke didn't go into the main hall. Instead they watched as he slowly made his way down the stairs to leave.  
  
"Are you alright?" Dorian asked her as he took a step forward. Raven turned and nodded and he had to smile when she let out a sigh of relief and made her way over to the older woman he somehow failed to notice before standing there against one of the pillars.  
  
"I apologize for the scene you just had to witness, Madame. I know he is your family and this consequence for his actions effect you as well. Is there anything I can do to make things right for you?" There was a silence that followed and both men looked at the older woman and the contrite expression on Raven's face. If Raven had to be honest with herself she was past caring about appearances for the sake of the Inquisition. She was exhausted but from what she'd gathered the Countess was Henry's aunt and she didn't need to see the wretched display or deal with her nephew's idiocy. When the countess raised her hand Raven prepared herself for a slap across the face but it never came. Instead the older woman put her hand on Raven's cheek and gave her a small smile. Charlotte wasn't happy by any means but the girl apologizing wasn't the cause. That girl put her brat nephew in his place, one thing not often done and especially by women.  
  
"You tell your ambassador that I'll be in touch. Have a goodnight, Raven." The old woman replied before taking her own leave down the stairs Henry had taken moments ago. A moment of silence passed before turning around and looking at her two friends. They would probably want to discuss what had just happened but now wasn't the time.  
  
"Let's go in. Maybe if we're lucky it won't be over.  
  
  
The silence was a blessing. All the guests that remained at the ball after Duchess Florianne's arrest and the announcement of an alliance between Celene, Gaspard, and Briala were in the ballroom soaking in the peace and success of Christopher and the Inquisition. Raven, however, decided that the gardens were much more interesting and that was where she remained, seated on the ground with her back to the stone fountain. So much had happened earlier and she was still trying to wrap her head around everything that had been said and done; the hateful words spewed from Henry's mouth, the anger she felt coming from Cole as he moved in to protect her, and finally she using her power as an Inquisition advisor to cut ties with what insignificant alliance she had with the Duke. She felt like an idiot. How could she not have known what Henry really wanted? Did the others want the same? It wasn't the first time Raven questioned herself about what she was doing with her life and where she could go based on the choices she'd made so far. She was happy with her place in the Inquisition and even happier with the fact that she'd been able to make the best out of the situation she'd been thrown into.  
  
"We're happy you're here too." Cole's voice was soft over the sound of water in the fountain and Raven looked up as he spoke, not surprised that he would be wandering the palace instead of spending time among the others. His Inquisition attire had most likely been discarded by himself or Josephine because he was back to his patchy shirt, brown leathers, and shoes. His hat had been left on the bed in his room at the small apartment they were staying at in Val Royeaux but she liked the way his pale blond hair reflected the moonlight. Raven didn't reply at first when he sat down next to her and he wondered for a moment if she was angry that he'd gone against her orders with the man earlier but remained silent when she leaned her head on his shoulder.  
  
"It was a long night." Her voice was quiet and Cole only nodded in response.  
  
"Dancing, talking, faking smile after smile so they don't see how much you didn't and still don't want to be here." She wasn't bothering to hide her thoughts, not that she ever really did before. They were so loud from his place beside her, feeling her long hair tickle his cheek and smelling vanilla and lilacs from the soap she used. It was intoxicating and Cole wondered if there were any possible way to be even closer to her.  
  
"That sounds about right." She murmured with a smile. His shoulder was comfortable and warm against her skin. "I already told Josephine and Christopher but I'll be staying behind for a couple days as a sort of vacation. The last couple weeks have been beyond stressful and I need a break. You're more than welcome to stay with me." Raven was proud that her offer came out as easy as it did and she was thankful he either didn't notice the way she suddenly felt nervous as she awaited his answer or he simply chose not to mention it.  
  
"You want me to stay?" He seemed surprised, "you aren't angry?" His question caught Raven off guard and he regretted asking it as she took her head away from his shoulder and looked at him.  
  
"Why would I be mad at you?" Of all the things he'd ever done from scaring the hell out of her first thing in the morning to revealing parts of her past and thoughts aloud to others Raven could never find it in herself to be angry. He didn't do it out of spite. He was compassion and only wanted to help.  
  
"You wanted me to stop but I didn't. Such cruel, loathsome thoughts. Hearing them made me so angry and then he tried," Cole swallowed trying to make the sudden unpleasant feeling in his stomach go away, "He wanted to hit you, hurt you in any way he could. I couldn't, wouldn't let that happen."  
  
"You protected me, Cole. I wouldn't be upset over something like that." Her words were soft, sincere, and made him try to look away but her soft hand on his cheek kept him still and facing her. Cole was suddenly aware how fast his heart was racing, how warm she felt against him, how green her eyes were, and the way her skin seemed to glow in the night. Had she always been like this, he couldn't help but wonder and desperately wished Varric were around to help him try to understand such things. Cole thought back to earlier in the evening when he was with Dorian, the things that played in his friends mind in response to Cole's questions. Passionate kisses, gentle caresses, delicate moans escalating to cries of pleasure as they traveled closer and closer to heaven. Back when he was less real Cole had never seen the appeal of such things and as Compassion he was content to simply feel the emotions of others as they sought out such comforts but after everything that had happened in the last few months and all he'd gone through; the choices he had to make, the things he'd learned so far and the things he was still learning, all the new emotions he was starting to understand a little more each day, and Raven had been there for him through every part of it to answer questions and help him the best she could because she cared for him. She loved him and that alone made Cole realize that he wanted to feel those emotions for himself not just observe them in others. He wanted those experiences and he wanted to share them with her. It was that realization that caused him to suddenly pull away and his cheek felt cold the second he did. He couldn't feel that way. They were friends and he couldn't lose her like Cullen did. It had been months since the Commander had kissed her and their relationship was still strained, guarded on her part and near desperate on his. She was the only one to accept him for what he was without question and he couldn't ruin that.  
  
"I can't stay with you. I'm sorry." His words were soft but Raven could hear a sort of distance in them and she knew something was wrong. Was it her or was it something else? He'd stayed behind with her before and she thought they had a fun time wandering around the city and watching the people. She wasn't intending in staying in Val Royeaux during her break but instead spending the time in the Hinterlands. It was autumn and she wanted to spend her time among the trees.  
  
"Alright." Raven spoke that single word, choosing not to question him as she looked away, gracefully stood up, and brushed off her dress, "I'm going back to the party. I'm sure the others are eager to leave." It didn't surprise her when he got up as well and followed her out of the garden.  
  
Back in the grand ballroom Raven was pleased to see that about half the guests had departed. She could see Christopher and Cassandra on the dance floor and smiled when at the look of pure adoration on Christopher's face. Cole noticed it's well and snuck a glance at Raven. He wanted to speak but he didn't know what to say. It was clear his rejection hurt but until he could figure out how to deal with his newfound realization and the feelings he was experiencing it was best to stay away.  
  
"Would you like to dance?" Cole looked at Cullen the same time Raven did. He stood before them still in his Inquisition attire with a hand extended toward Raven. She glanced at Cole for a moment as if expecting him to say something but when he didn't she smiled and put her small hand in his big one and Cole watched them make their way down the stairs to the dance floor and even leaned against one of the railings before Dorian found him.  
  
"She wanted to dance with you." He spoke as he took a place next to his friend. He might've been watching from further away but the look she gave Cole had been unmistakable and for a moment Dorian thought that the Duke's words rang true. Raven had given him chances that he knew she wouldn't give anyone else; asking him to stay with her instead of returning to Skyhold and then silently urging him to object to Cullen's request and Cole had no idea what to do about them. Or maybe Dorian was wrong in thinking Cole had any real physical interest in the young girl.  
  
"I can't be near her right now." Cole replied not bothering to look away from the dance floor. She was graceful and the green satin of her dress demanded the attention of anyone watching. It was strange finally understanding how Cullen felt after so long and he didn't like it.  
  
"And why not? You two seemed pretty close a bit ago in the gardens." Chances were it was Cole's decision so stay away from her and Dorian couldn't understand why. He seemed so excited to be around her earlier and it was easy enough to see that she wanted to stay with him.  
  
"It hurts. Now knowing and understanding how Cullen feels every time she's around, knowing she doesn't want the same things hurts and I don't know how to make it better. I can't lose her like he did so I'll stay away until it becomes easier." As Cole spoke of the relationship between Cullen and Raven it was easier for Dorian to understand why Cole pushed her away. The fear of his own growing affection towards Raven and the idea of losing her because of them would be a possibility if he were anyone else, it had been proven with Cullen. They didn't speak for months and even though they were talking and laughing in the dance floor below she was guarded and he was trying his best to hide the fact that he loved her. There would always be that in the back of their mind and it would alter how they thought and acted around each other but anyone could see things were different with her and Cole. The unmistakable bond they shared, the way the trusted each other without a second thought, and the devotion they both had to one another was all the proof Dorian needed to know how she felt about Cole in return even if she didn’t say anything. He might detest sentimental romance but he wouldn't wish their situation on anyone if he could help it. Dorian was grateful there weren't as many people around like before. It wasn't that he cared about what they thought of him but the last thing Raven, Cole, and even Cullen needed were rumors about any supposed feelings or relationship before they could figure it out themselves. If they ever figured it out anyway. It wasn't his place to lecture. He'd just mention it to Varric in passing once they got back to Skyhold.  
  
  
"You look beautiful tonight." Cullen murmured as she moved close to him. The hand that wasn't in his rested on his shoulder and his other hand rested on her delicate waist. Raven forced a smile and followed his lead though he wasn't much of a dancer. She knew countless noblewomen would kill to be where she was, in the warm embrace of the Inquisition's handsome Commander but she was tired, her body hurt, and the one person she wanted to dance with didn't seem to want to be around her at the moment for a reason only he seemed to know.  
  
"Thank you," She replied, "So how many women do you think fell in love with you tonight?" He laughed at her question knowing there was no way of knowing.  
  
"Entirely too many though I'm sure not as many as you had falling for you. One woman even pinched my bottom." Raven couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. The surprised tone he used was genuine.  
  
"You have to keep an eye on those noble ladies, Commander. You only think they're all prim and proper." By her tone Cullen couldn't tell if she was being serious but it was pleasant to see her eyes light up in amusement and the first real smile he'd seen her give the entire night.  
  
"From what I hear it's best to watch after noblemen as well. I apologize for not noticing Duke Durand follow you out of the ballroom. If I had I would've done something." Raven stared at him hardly believing there were orders to actually watch her.  
  
"Was I to be watched? I can handle myself." Cullen could hear the displeasure in her voice and shook his head in response.  
  
"With everything going on and you playing the part of distraction tonight we wanted to make sure no one tried to hurt you or sabotage your efforts. I know you can handle yourself." The excuse he'd been practicing since news of Duke Durand's departure rolled off his tongue so easily that he almost felt bad. Cullen never lied to her but the last thing he wanted to fight about, especially with her finally in his arms, was the disgusting intentions the Duke had and Raven's ability to handle it.  
  
"I guess I understand." And she did, that wasn't a lie, "After I talk to Josephine later him no longer having any connections to the Inquisition will be final."  
  
"You're serious?" Cullen asked only slightly surprised. She wouldn't joke about something like that and from her expression he could tell there would be more to come than a severing of ties with the Inquisition. "May I ask what he did?" It was simple curiosity.  
  
"He informed me of his real thoughts about you and our friends. Would've hit me too if Cole hadn't stopped him." Her news nearly made Cullen falter and he wasn't sure if shock or anger was the first to set in. Did that bastard really have the nerve to try and hurt her and think he could actually get away with it? Even if Cole hadn't been there chances are Raven would've killed the man without batting an eye and feel no remorse about doing so. "Cullen, hey, it's alright. I'm fine." He didn't realize it at first but his grip had tightened on her waist.  
  
"At least Cole was with you. Are you looking forward to the next week?" He was referring to her little vacation and Raven nodded in response. It had been a long time since she’d been to the Hinterlands. Blackwall had given her permission to use the cabin he stayed in but Raven was more content with the idea of sleeping in a tent or even under the stars.

“I am. It’ll be nice to rest after these last couple weeks.” Silence stretched out between them but it was a comfortable silence unlike the many in the past that were the result of a fight. Eventually, in her tired state, Raven rested her head on his large shoulder and Cullen held her even closer all while trying to memorize how her small, relaxed figure felt pressed against him. Multiple songs played and Cullen didn’t let go once because who knew when the next time she let him hold her would be.

From above, still in his spot and leaning against the railing, Cole watched in silence as he begged for the hurt he was feeling in his chest to go away.


	25. Mutual Attraction

  
It was late when Christopher and the others finally made it back to Skyhold. From his usual spot at the table next to the fireplace Varric looked up from his current manuscript when the bell rang signaling their arrival and then again when he heard their voices coming up the stairs breaking through the silence of the main hall. Ruffles was the one to notice him seated at the table and stopped to smile while the rest of the group followed suit.

"I guess everything went well?" Varric didn't really have to ask. If something bad had happened the group wouldn't be as happy. It was then that he noticed three members of their parting group weren't with them, "Where's Curly? Did Ginger and the Kid stay in Val Royeaux?"

"Raven did. Cole wandered off when we arrived and Cullen is in his office." Christopher replied and Varric could understand wanting some quiet after what the last couple days must've been like. He was familiar enough with Orlesians to know that they weren't necessarily a pleasant bunch and for someone still learning how to be human he was going to learn a lot more than he wanted.

"I guess I'll see him tomorrow then. You guys off to bed?" Not that he really cared. He had a couple hours left in him and planned to continue working on that damned manuscript before he was too tired to even hold a quill just like every other night. Varric looked down to read over what he'd come up with so far while ignoring pleasant goodbyes and the shuffling each person made as they all began the journey to their rooms, Seeker going into Christopher's like he expected.

"We need to talk." Sparkler's voice was low and Varric could see the concerned expression on the mage's face when he looked up. What could they possibly have to talk about?

"Alright. I'm listening." He spoke those simple words as he leaned back in his chair. The Mage paused as if he wasn't sure how to say what was apparently so important and Varric used that time to think of what he could've possibly done to make Sparkler so serious. It wasn't like he was Sera, he didn't mess around with others things and while he may spin a few tales none had really included the Mage standing not five feet from him.

"Your crime series is doing really well in Orlais. I met a lot of people who were disappointed that you chose not to attend." His news, while it caught Varric off guard, wasn't what the Mage wanted to discuss although Varric made a note to ask his editor and find out what was going on.

"You're stalling. If I did something then just let me know. I'm a busy man." He was aware that he was coming off as an ass but he didn't really care. So much had to be done and his deadline was in two weeks. Varric didn't even know why he was trying his hand at romance again when Ginger told him not to write about her. He couldn't help it.

"It's about Cole." Shit. He should've guessed as much after such a long trip and wondered what the Kid could've done. Those possibilities were endless but, then again, Sparkler seemed more concerned than angry and that put Varric more on edge than before.

"Care for a seat then?" Varric asked and almost reluctantly Dorian pulled out a chair and sat down, the gold in his robes reflecting the fire.

"Cole learned a few new things since we left and I'm not sure how it will effect him and the rest of us." Well if that wasn't an ominous way of starting out what would become a long conversation then Varric knew nothing and he felt himself grow nervous as his friend tried to find the right words, "I suppose I should tell you that it all started with a beautiful pair of dragon bone daggers Raven had commissioned for Cole to use at the palace in case anything went wrong. Cole wanted to thank her like he was told most humans do." Varric imagined that idea didn't go far. "Well, you know how she is; always doing something for someone and never wanting anything in return so Cole, looking for ideas, asked me how I thank Bull." Varric couldn't hold back his laugh.

"And how did that go?" The dwarf asked knowing it would probably be entertaining in any way it stemmed.

"I didn't tell him. I even tried to change the subject but he saw anyway then wanted to know what kissing was like and if Raven would allow him to - among other things. He seemed to drop the subject when I explained that Bull and I were... We are more than simple friends. As close as those two are to one another that's all they are."

"That's up for those two to decide, Sparkler. If he were to kiss her I don't think she'd react the same way to him as she did with Curly months ago."

"I agree but I couldn't tell him that without putting ideas in his head." It wasn't a lie. Cullen was a friend and ally most days but he and Raven weren't close enough for the relationship he so desperately wanted to have with her. Dorian hadn't been there when she was found and brought to them as a prisoner but since his own arrival he'd lost track of how many times the feisty redhead said she wanted beat the man for his arrogance, stupidity, or something else altogether. "So Raven and her date were already at the palace when we arrive and it turns out the man was despicable, wanted Raven for all the wrong reasons, and even made the move to hit her toward the end of the night. He would've succeeded if Cole hadn't stepped in and explained to her what the man really was. She broke off the Inquisition's alliance without a second thought. The Empress was saved and during the celebration Raven and Cole disappeared into the gardens. When they came back Cullen asked her to dance and Cole said nothing. When I asked him about it he said that he understands how Cullen feels so he's going to avoid her till it becomes easier."

"So she rejected him?" Varric could barely get the words out and was relieved when Dorian shook his head in response.

"No. She even asked him to join her for the couple days she'll be in Val Royeaux and looked almost heartbroken when he didn't object to her dancing with Cullen. He said he doesn't want to lose her like Cullen did. I figured you could try to talk to him."

"To tell the truth I was wondering if it would happen." Varric finally spoke and Dorian could feel his eyes widen. For Varric to remain so calm about the situation between those two wasn't what he was expecting. Perhaps once Solas found out it would be a different story. That man was like a mother hen when it came to Cole. A nitpicking, horrendously dressed mother hen.

"So you're not angry?" Dorian clarified to make sure. When it came to rogues one could never be too careful. Those sneaky bastards could come from anywhere. Varric laughed in response.

"Nah. No reason to be. He was the one who decided to continue growing as a person and things like this are a part of that. It's not like I can stop it." His words were true enough and satisfied with his friends answer Dorian stood up and quickly bid him a goodnight. He was exhausted and sore and with any luck Bull would still be awake.

Varric didn't move as Dorian made his way out of the main hall in silence. His manuscript was still open in front of him but he doubted he'd be able to focus on the words. It was surprising that Sparkler came to him since he often chose not to become involved in things that didn't concern himself but what surprised Varric more was that Cole hadn't come to him. Yeah, they'd only arrived less than an hour ago but with how the Kid had been with his questions and new feelings before they all left Varric expected the kid to come to him first. If what Sparkler said was true about what happened it was a rather large deal. If he was starting to look at Ginger in the same light as Curly and every other man with half a brain there was a lot to think about. If their relationship fractured those two wouldn't be the only ones caught up in the aftermath but Varric couldn't see that happening. It depended on them and until they could sit down and talk nothing would be resolved.

  
It was quiet the next morning. Those who arrived late last night, the advisors and Inquisitor included, were still in bed fast asleep even after the sun had risen over the mountains. Recruit training had been called off in Raven's absence but Varric still found Cole seated on the ledge overlooking the empty courtyard. It was his favorite place to sit and watch her train and teach.

"Good morning Varric." Cole didn't look at the dwarf as he approached, only knowing for certain it was him from the song his body and heart tended to play. His body was tired but his mind wouldn't allow him to rest. Varric leaned against the ledge and looked up at Cole, noticing right away the bags under his eyes and he wondered if the young man had gotten any sleep.

"Hey Kid. I take it you didn't get any sleep last night?" Cole shook his head.

"My body wants to but my mind won't let it. So many thoughts, hurts, wants, and lying there alone only makes it worse. I don't know how to stop it." Cole spoke soft enough for his friend to hear and in response Varric put a hand on the Kid's back.

"What do you want?" It was a simple question yet Cole hesitated. Images of green eyes and long, flowing red hair dominated his vision. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Dorian told Varric everything that had happened during their time at the Winter Palace. "Knowing what you want is part of the battle, Kid. You don't have to tell me but keep that in mind."

"And if I know, then what?" Cole asked when Varric took his hand away.

"That's up to you. Part about being human is making mistakes and learning from them. If something doesn't work you can try again or give up." As Varric spoke Cole thought of Cullen and the months before and after he'd kissed Raven. He still wanted her, perhaps even more than he'd anticipated. It was a bittersweet feeling, craving someone and not being allowed to have them.

"Did Cullen give up?" His question caught Varric off guard and he took a few seconds to ponder over what Curly's intentions could be. Could he have a plan? They weren't really close and Varric didn't really care enough to pry where there was no story involved but the look on their Commanders face every time Raven was present and the way he would watch her made him think that nugs had a better chance of overthrowing the human race than Curly had of giving up hope that Raven would somehow wake up one day and want him the way he wanted her.

"No and he won't." There was no point in lying to the Kid. He'd see through it and even know better.

"I don't know where..." Cole struggled to find the words. He wanted so desperately to find out when, why, where, and how he started thinking of Raven, his friend, in such a way. He was aware of others and their thoughts about him and Raven together whether it be out of humor, as if a strong and beautiful woman could want something like him, or jealousy when they saw that she never denied Cole and always made the effort and time to make sure he was included and knew that someone cared about him. And she did care. She cared about him more than she cared about herself and he never understood how or why. When asked she never answered.

"Where?" Varric pressed him to continue.

"How did they change? Always smiling, caring, protecting me even when I didn't need her to. She's my friend. I don't understand how what I feel and want for her could change." His tone was still soft but his words were rushed and Varric noticed the Kid's fingers picking at his torn gloves.

"Sometimes it happens and there isn't a clear reason as to why or how. You can't help who or what your heart wants, Kid." It was simple advice but Varric knew the truth from his own experience.

"I don't want to lose her. I can't."

"Is that why you said no to staying with her in Val Royeaux?" It was a rhetorical question on Varric's part but it didn't stop Cole from looking down at him and answering.

"She isn't in Val Royeaux but yes. If I don't stay away I can end up like Cullen." Varric couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. If the Kid were to end up like anyone Curly would be the last possible outcome.

"You won't end up like him. Look at your relationship with Ginger and think back to Curly's relationship with her before that kiss? Do you remember all the fights those two would get into? How many times she'd come back from a meeting or training muttering about how he was an insufferable bastard?"

"She thought worse." Cole interjected while thinking back to the insults he'd never heard before. He'd only seen a 'car' from Raven's mind and the pictures she'd shown him and he doubted that something that large could fit where she wanted to put it during the arguments she and Cullen had gotten into.

"Exactly. Ginger cares for you more than I think she cares for anyone else here. If you were to let her know how you felt I know it would go a completely different way." Varric continued to watch Cole's face as he spoke, pointing out the painfully obvious facts that the Kid, for some reason, didn't take into account.

"You don't know that." Had he always been that damn stubborn? As a spirit he was never so hard headed.

"I know Ginger enough to realize that you mean more to her than Curly. She was willing to leave the Inquisition with you if Christopher didn't let you stay, for Andraste's sake. You can do what you want though." Varric was too tired to continue arguing with the stubborn young man but turned around to look at him one last time before making his way into the tavern for some much needed food, "I also know that you staying away from her without giving her a reason will hurt you both in the long run."

  
Autumn in the Hinterlands was everything Raven knew it would be. It had been five days and she still couldn't believe how beautiful it was. The air was cooler than it had been months ago but nothing compared to the Frostback Mountains and Skyhold. The leaves on the trees had turned from shades of green to a rainbow of reds, oranges, yellows, greens, and browns and some littered certain areas of the ground more than others. While the war between the Mages and Templars was still going on, without their strongholds numbers dwindled on both sides and it was nice not having to hear the crackle of magic, clanging of swords, and yelling. Instead she could enjoy the chirping coming from the birds that remained and the flowing water of Lake Luthias not too far away.

Raven had decided to stay at the Inquisition camp instead of making a campsite of her own; she wouldn't have to worry about meals even though she preferred to do the hunting and would be able to sleep easier with the Inquisition agents and scouts nearby despite most conflict having been eliminated. If she'd brought someone with her it would be different and she'd feel more comfortable sleeping away from the Inquisition camps but that wasn't the case. Maybe next time she'd invite Solas or Bull.

"Lady O'Hara is everything alright?" Ritts asked while sitting on the log across from her. Raven looked away from the campfire and up to the Elven scout. How long had she been staring into the fire and why did Ritts still insist on addressing her like she was a noble?

"I'm fine. How are you?" It had been a couple days since she'd had any real conversation. Lately she was usually up and exploring before dawn and sidn return until after dark to sleep. Her first day in the Hinterlands was spent in Redcliff and the second was following up with Corporal Vale at the Crossroads. After that she'd kept to herself, climbing trees, exploring new areas, even spending a portion of the day before swimming in the lake, and gathering ram, bear, wolf, and fox pelts to make a new blanket. It was nice being away from the chaos of the Inquisition and it had given her time to think about her options once Corypheus was defeated. Would she even live that long? What would they do about Solas? Even the game skipped over a couple years and that had been painful enough. Part of her wanted to disappear with him if that were possible.

"I've been alright. Things have been easier since you and the Inquisitor took out the Templar and Mage encampments." Raven nodded absentmindedly while listening to the young girls words. That had been an exciting time and she found she liked fighting mages more than the Templars. They were unpredictable and where Templars usually rushed forward in their heavy armor with swords drawn mages could use ice and fire and so many other things. If course it probably gave Solas a workout with the barrier spells but that was part of the fun.

"I'm glad things are easier. You guys deserve it." And that was the truth. They all worked hard for the Inquisition.

"Word is the Inquisitor saved the Empress. Is that true?" Ritts sounded so excited as she asked that Raven couldn't help but chuckle. She wasn't surprised that news traveled so fast.

"It's true. The Grand Duchess was working with Corypheus and planned to assassinate Celene in front of her people. Now she is stripped of her title and sits in a prison cell waiting to be brought to Skyhold for judgment." As she gave a quick rundown of the events at the Winter Palace Raven had to wonder what sort of sentence Christopher would give the former Grand Duchess. He'd already had Alexius researching magic, exiled the Avaar to Tevinter which Raven helped with, and gave the Mayor of Crestwood to his people for punishment. Ser Ruth had yet to be judged as far as Raven knew. Christopher hated that responsibility and usually held off until there were small breaks in the chaos where it was deemed okay to drink afterwards.

"That's incredible." Ritts commented and Raven nodded again. No need to reply to that comment. "So how come you're out here all alone?"

"I didn't intend to be alone but the one I wanted to join said he didn't want to come." Raven tried to keep the melancholy from her voice. It wasn't that she was upset he didn't want to join her, it was how he spoke and acted afterwards as if she'd done something wrong. Maybe she had in his eyes. He was learning and feeling so many new things now that he was human that perhaps she did something he didn't like. Perhaps he was still upset over how things went with the Duke. She didn't know and it was starting to bother her; there were so many things that happened throughout the course of the night including dancing with Cullen. The conversation made up for the lack in dancing skills and Raven was surprised that she enjoyed it as much as she did. He was charming away from the Inquisition but that didn't mean she didn't want to smack him every now and then.

"Well that's a shame. He doesn't know what he's missing." The elfs consolation only further annoyed her but Raven chuckled anyway. It was all she could do.

  
Unlike Christopher and the others it was early in the morning when Raven crossed the bridge into Skyhold. Most were asleep making the signal bell for her arrival fall on deaf ears but those who were awake such as Cullen and Bull greeted her at the gates and the large Qunari wasted no time engulfing her in a tight hug that knocked the air from her lungs as he lifted her from the ground.

"We weren't expecting to see you till tomorrow." He commented once he put her back down. Raven smiled at his enthusiasm but couldn't find it within herself to feel the same. She was exhausted and her body was surprisingly sore from the long journey back.

"I got tired of playing hermit in the Hinterlands. Some of the soldiers should arrive later to deliver all the materials I gathered. How have you been Bull?" She asked while straightening the loose black shirt she was wearing. It was the one she had gotten for Cole in Val Royeaux months ago. She'd found it at the bottom of her bag the day before and knew either he or someone else had put the garment in there since it had been at least two months since she'd last seen the thing. Cole had only worn it a handful of times because he didn't want it to ruin it while in the field or during one of their regular sparring matches. Anticipating the cooler weather of the Hinterlands she packed thicker clothes and medium armor made with nugskin and fennec fur for cold resistance. She didn't even own a shirt like the one she had on and after wearing it for a day she would write Adrian and Delphine later to rectify that.

"Things are always good here. We should talk a little later later, just the two of us." He said the last part quietly not wanting Cullen to overhear and grow suspicious. Raven looked up at him and Bull could see the confusion on her face as she slowly nodded. If it were anyone else he would've chosen to keep quiet about some of the things he'd seen and heard over the week she was gone but she was one of his friends, one of the few he'd expected to find when joining the Inquisition, and where Cole was concerned he felt she needed to know.

"Drinks tonight then?" She asked and with a nod in return Bull left to head back to his room above the tavern and also back to the sexy bronze skinned Mage asleep in his bed. They'd talk about Cole later.

With Bull's disappearance into the tavern Cullen took his time observing Raven who had yet to say a word to him. He hadn't seen her since that night at the Winter Palace a week ago and it was strange to see what a small vacation dos to her; her red hair was down and certainly less tame than he was used to seeing, like she took a bath and never tied it back and the shirt she was wearing was simple black cotton that seemed loose enough to move in but still showed off the curves of her breasts and hips. The smile she wore was genuine when she finally turned his way and Cullen had to hold back his surprise when she suddenly came forward and embraced him. Her hands seemed to glide along his armor and the only way Cullen knew her hands eventually rested on his back was the pressure of her grip followed by the eventual warmth coming from her skin. He smiled when he looked down to see that her head rested on his chest. Cullen wrapped his arms around her waist while silently cursing his armor for preventing him from feeling the curves of her body. Unlike the time he held her at the Winter Palace where she was in exquisite silks and a corset to fit the standards set for nobility Raven was now wearing none of that, there was nothing to shape her body in any way but its own and he longed to be able to run his bare hands over her skin.

"I am very tired." She said when she pulled away and looked up at him. He couldn't tell before because of the distance but with them now being so close he could see that she looked exhausted. Her skin had less color to it despite being in the Hinterlands for nearly a week and he was surprised he didn't notice the slight bags under her eyes. She needed some tea and to rest.

"No one was expecting you till tomorrow and training has been postponed. Why don't you head to your room and relax today." Cullen suggested and was surprised when she didn't object and just slowly nodded, "I'll have some tea and food brought to your room." She continued to nod as she readjusted the small pack hanging from her shoulders and gave him a small smile before making her way up the stairs to the main hall. With any luck it would still be too early for her to run into anyone and become stuck in conversation.

It was good to be home, Raven thought as she closed the door to her room and let the bag of clothes fall from her shoulders. She wasn't sure what made her want to come home early or make that trip in the middle of the night but the sight of her bed in the morning light coming through her windows and all the pillows along with her comforter made it worthwhile. With a content sigh she slowly made her way to her bed while pausing every few steps to take off an article of clothing, then another. It wasn't until she was about to unbutton the soft black skirt and let it slide off her shoulders that a noise caught her attention and caused her body to stiffen. Her daggers were in her bag and the purple knife she insisted on carrying was clipped to her bra. How long would she have to pull it out?

"Your song is different now." Cole. It was only Cole and Raven silently cursed. She should've known it would be him. His voice was soft as he spoke and Raven turned to see him sitting in a chair at her table looking down at his gloved hands. She wondered how tired she had to be to not notice him when she came in and started undressing. He'd seen her nearly naked before back when she was mourning the loss of the life she'd once had and she'd seen him in next to nothing as she helped clean the wounds she'd inflicted during that near deadly sparring match. Why did she suddenly want to cover herself, had his rejection and avoidance have to do with such casualty? She never thought about it before with him being a spirit but did her lack of clothing offend him?

"Cole? Are you alright? What's different now?" Raven asked quietly wanting nothing more than to go to him but she remained still, his rejection was still fresh in her mind.

"Everything is so different but it's still not easier. I thought it would be. You were gone for so long." His words grew faster as he spoke but it sounded like he was confused. He wasn't making any sense and Raven wondered if it would be alright for her to run half naked through Skyhold to get Christopher, Varric, or even Bull.

"Please tell me what's going on."

"You can't know. I'm sorry but it's better this way." He moved to stand, desperate to leave before he said too much, before he did something he'd never done before that he knew Raven would hate and he would most likely regret but her warm hand grabbed onto his arm. There was no strength behind her grip but he stopped anyway. Cole's eyes met hers for the first time since the Winter palace and even if he couldn't already feel how his words and actions were affecting her, her eyes gave it away. She was tired, hurt, angry, scared and he knew he'd been the one to cause it.

"In the time we've been friends I've done nothing but encourage you to be who you are for the sake of your own happiness. I've accepted and embraced your actions and words, I've defended and fought with you and for you, and have come to trust you with my entire being. I've answered your questions and tried to help you to the best of my ability no matter what the situation was. Is whatever I did so bad that you feel you can't come to me anymore?" She was quiet as she spoke but he heard her. Every word she said was laced with such pain that it made his chest hurt. Did she really believe is was her fault? He wasn't helping her at all. She was hurting because of him, her song once full of light was now dark and muted, and Cole felt like a fool for thinking she would be okay with the distance he was putting between them. Varric, The Iron Bull, and Dorian had been right. Of course they were, he should've known better. When Cole made no move to answer she released her grip on his arm and turned away.

"Words, thoughts, wants running through my head and making my body ache. It's hard to calm down when I think of you. I'm sorry I'm hurting you but I have to. I can't end up like him. If he doesn't know how to make it better than how can I?" Cole rushed through his words hardly able to look at her. Only after they were said did he realize how it probably sounded to her. She was confused, even more than before and Cole wished he could make her forget so he could try again. Did he really think she would understand? Raven stared at him, struggling to see his blue eyes under his hats large brim and make sense of what seemed so important to him.

"I'm not like you, Cole." She didn't take her eyes off him, "I may know a lot of things about you and the others but I'm not a mind reader and I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on." Her calm voice urged him to allow his eyes to finally meet hers. In the dim light, dressed only in her undergarments and his shirt she was breathtaking and Cole could feel his heart speed up, hammering inside his chest. Could she hear it too, he wondered.

"I don't want to end up like Cullen." Cole spoke softly and it was quite possibly the last thing Raven expected to hear. She hoped he would help shed some light on whatever it was that was driving a wedge into their friendship but the words he chose only confused her even more.

"As admirable as our Commander is I don't think there's anything in this world you could do that would make you end up like him. Why would you think that?" It was a fair enough question in Raven's opinion. She could never picture Cole ending up like Cullen. The two were so different.

"He wants you. He wants to run his fingers through your soft hair, to hear your moans as he kisses you, and to feel your body curled up against his in the night. He wants it, wants you, but you don't want him. I know what that's like now." Cole's admission left her short of breath in a way she never could have expected. Cullen had made it clear he wanted all that and more but to hear Cole say, out loud, that he wanted the same things was nothing short of surprising. They had always been close. Too close for some but it was a dynamic that worked and she didn't care about the comments, murmurs in the main hall, or what her friends thought. When had it changed for him and how could she not have seen it? Her stomach suddenly started to feel funny and she had to fight to keep her eyes on him instead of looking away. Those thoughts were something she'd kept to herself in the recent months, buried so deep that even Cole wouldn't know.

"How long have you felt this?" Her question was simple enough but Cole still struggled to find the words to answer her while his heart continued to beat so hard he could hear it and his stomach turned. If it were anyone else he would've already left and found an area where he could be away from others but she wasn't anyone else. She was Raven and he needed to be around her. She called to him. Her very essence drew him to her and he never wanted to leave her again no matter how much her rejection would hurt. He would deal with the pain as long as she wasn't hurting anymore. Without another thought of anything else Cole moved so fast and so unexpectedly that Raven didn't have time to register the way he suddenly came forward and closed the distance between them, wrapping one hand around her delicate waist while the other cupped her cheek, an action he'd seen so many times before from lovers unaware of his presence, and leaned down until his lips gently met hers.

Raven stood still, both heart and mind racing as current events were finally starting to catch up to her. Cole's body was pressed against hers, his skin warm through the thin material of their clothes but his breath on her face was even warmer. She had been so caught up in his words before that she didn't realize he moved to kiss her until it was already happening. It was then that she noticed the way her body hummed, her lips tingled, and a rush of something so wonderful and pleasurable filled her as she closed her eyes and kissed him back. Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine being able to feel how she felt at that moment as Cole held her tighter, slowly moving his hands to the back of her neck all the while her hands seemed to have a mind of their own and moved to up to his chest. He tasted like cinnamon and it reminded her of the tea she often drank which caused her to deepen the kiss making him respond with a soft moan.

"I - I'm sorry." Cole murmured quietly as he pulled away for air even though he didn't feel sorry at all. That kiss made him feel more alert and alive than he ever had been. She was so soft under his fingers and he could smell blackberries on her skin from the soap she used. In the dim light he could see her cheeks were flushed and the color of her eyes had darkened. He could also hear her song, suddenly loud and light again as it mixed with his own in a beautiful harmony. She was so happy. When her hand trailed up the rest of his chest and to the back of his neck Cole couldn't help but shudder.

"Fuck, I'm not." Was her quiet reply before she pulled him to her in another kiss. She wasn't sorry either, Cole thought to himself as he followed her lead and kissed back. She wasn't sorry. She wanted the kiss. Had it always been that way and, if so, how had he not been able to tell? How did she smell and taste and feel so good? Images suddenly flashed in his mind of them together, wants he never knew existed, and feelings that were familiar but somehow felt foreign. Were they hers? Were they all things she'd kept from him over the months they'd been friends, all the times her mind was silent, the thoughts he couldn't hear? When she pulled away Cole was surprised at how cold he felt but that didn't stop him from opening his eyes to look at her. "I've wanted to do that for a while." She admitted quietly.

"You wanted it too?" Cole couldn't help but ask and all he could do was stand there as she slowly nodded.

"I think even before you became human." She chose her words carefully, assessing his reaction but as she went and when he didn't move to leave she took a few shaky steps away from him and sat down when her back of her knees hit the bed. "Although I didn't think it would be after a trip you declined to go on with me or that I would be dressed in only your shirt and my underwear. It's funny how that works."

"I like my shirt on you." Cole quickly interjected and it was true. Black brought out all the contrasting features she had like her pale skin, bright green eyes, and long red hair.

"I like it too. So much, in fact, that I was going to write a letter to Adrian and Delphine about making a few more but fashion aside," Raven leaned forward to place her elbows on her knees, her head rested in her hands all while never looking away from him, "But that can wait. Right now I think we both have a lot of explaining to do." Cole nodded in response before kneeling down,  taking his place on the floor and moving between her legs ignoring her insistence that he join her on the bed. With a content sigh he closed his eyes, smiling, as she allowed him to rest his head on her bare leg. 


	26. Disappointment

  
Bull sat at the usual table in the tavern away from Krem and the other Chargers. It wasn't that he wasn't enjoying himself he simply preferred to observe rather than participate at the moment. Some of the new Inquisition recruits were seated at one of the tables by the fireplace and even with Maryden singing he could hear them loudly discussing the stories and rumors they'd heard from others in regards to the Boss, Bull himself, and others belonging to the inner circle. One in particular, a young lean blond with a patchy beard, had been the first to bring up Raven and from the way the others joined in with comments even Bull was polite enough to only think about it was obvious none of them knew that come sunrise tomorrow she would be the one knocking them on their asses and Bull had every intention of seeing it, maybe participating if she'd let him.

As if on queue he saw her come through the tavern entrance looking a lot more refreshed and clean since he earlier that morning. Her hair was tied back in a loose braid, some strands were purposefully left loose; she wore a simple pair of loose black pants and one of those equally loose white tunics she'd worn during their expedition to the Western Approach. It didn't surprise him that she was alone. Cole hadn't agreed much with Bull's idea of an upfront approach when they'd talked about him telling Raven how he felt and was most likely still somewhere avoiding her. As she walked past the new recruits Bull noticed them all stop suddenly and make a scene of watching as she passed them on her way to the bar, their eyes on her ass the entire time and part of him wasn't surprised that he wanted to suddenly knock their heads in. She could handle herself but he still protected those he cared about.

"They want you." He motioned to the recruits once she sat down and pushed a large drink his way. Raven didn't bother looking at where Bull motioned as she grinned. She knew, of course. They hadn't exactly been subtle and someone like Raven didn't get to be in her position without at least a few observational skills.

"That'll change after training tomorrow." Her sure tone made him laugh before taking a large gulp of his ale.

"Or only worsen it. You can never tell whose a masochist these days and who isn't. Care if I watch?" He knew she wouldn't mind but asked out of courtesy. At the current point in their friendship he knew getting on her bad side would nearly be impossible and it was the same for him when it came to her but respect went a long way and, just as he expected, she nodded while finding a more comfortable position in the wooden tavern chair.

"Go ahead. Cole will be watching from his usual spot so you're more than welcome to join him." Even though Bull didn't show his surprise he had to wonder what could've happened in the time since he'd last seen her. Had the Kid changed his mind about approaching her or was she simply guessing based on the fact that he'd observed every day since the beginning?

"Not that it's my business but how are you two? Have you seen him yet?" That should be casual enough, he thought to himself. Raven didn't answer at first but that didn't stop the small smile from creeping up on her face or her cheeks from turning pink.

"Better now, I think." She replied quietly and finally took her first sip of the tea in front of her. "We talked for a while today and now a lot is out in the open. Hopefully things will be easier now."

"Good for you. Tension is never a good thing on the battlefield." Bull had an idea that more had happened than just talking but didn't bother pushing for more than she was willing to share. Chances were he'd find out the next time she and Cole were in the same room together. He was willing to bet on it.

"Says the Qunari who gets turned on fighting dragons." Her sarcastic comment only caused him to chuckle.

"Sexual tension is different than awkward tension." Bull replied with a laugh as he took another drink, "It fuels the fire, makes you alert, giddy even. You become more eager to succeed because you know what will follow afterwards. Things become more exciting during the fight and after."

"How so? Sorry but this is something I don't entirely understand." Raven asked simply, then suddenly diverting her attention away from Bull as Cole appeared in the seat beside her. Even though Bull couldn't see his face it wasn't hard to guess that it was he the kid was looking at.

"Spending time with the brunette woman in Crestwood or back in the Western Approach, how it would be taking you back to your tent still covered in dragons blood and making-"

"She doesn't need to know things like that, Cole." Bull cut him off before he could say anything else. It wasn't a secret that he'd fantasized about the tiny redhead across from him but she didn't need to know the finer details, those were for himself only and the last thing she needed was to worry about being around him. It didn't surprise him when Raven let out a light chuckle and shrugged most likely to help herself brush off such thoughts.

"At least Bull has enough respect to keep it to himself, or try to anyway. It's nothing I haven't already gotten used to in the, what Bull, eleven months or so that I've been here? I can't believe it's been that long." Bull nodded in response to her question. He could hardly believe it'd been a year either but he supposed with so much happening it was easy to lose track of the time.

"I don't like the way others think of you though. Them especially." Cole looked back at the new recruits. Their thoughts were loud and made him want to hit them. In the week she was gone he overheard a couple of them ask about her in passing conversation but none had ever received the same answer and it only frustrated them. Together the men had come to the conclusion that she was a sort of diplomat like Lady Josephine at the moment and not only because how could a small, young woman train soldiers, fight demons, and have nearly every noble in Orlais eating out of the palm of her hand but because of their attitude and comments toward the beautiful girl seated next to him no one had mentioned that she would be one of the few they would have to answer to in less than twenty-four hours.

"They'll be thinking completely different things tomorrow, I promise." She replied before taking a long drink of her tea and frowning when it was empty. With a glance over to Bull's mug to see its status she turned to Cole while standing up, "Would you like anything?" When he shook his head she turned around and made her way to the bar while ignoring the way those new recruits watched her. When she was far enough away Cole looked at Bull who couldn't keep the smirk from his face.

"So you followed my advice, after all." Bull stated as he picked up his drink, ready to down the rest of it. They had shown him nothing together but Bull knew something had happened between them. She wouldn't have smiled like that if it didn't.

"We didn't have sex, The Iron Bull." Cole defended while quickly glancing over at the bar where Raven stood talking to Stitches then looking back to his friend. He wasn't sure how alright she would be with him talking to others about what they had done. "But when I kissed her she kissed me back. Her skin smelled like blackberries and she tasted like apples. I want to kiss her again."

Bull stared at Cole from across the table and fought the urge to smile at his excitement. It was much better than how he'd been over the last week while Raven was away and so caught up in what he should do regarding the little redhead. Thankfully Dorian had told him of the events at the palace so he wasn't too caught off guard when Cole had come to him not even two days later desperate for advice. At first he had been against the upfront and honest approach of simply kissing her and a part of Bull couldn't really blame the Kid since that plan didn't work so well for the last guy to try it but he knew and to his knowledge Cole was as inexperienced as they came. Even if Raven hadn't admitted it to herself yet Bull knew it was only a matter of time before she realized how she really felt. "Well I'm proud of you, Kid." Bull finally replied, "Manning up and telling her took a lot of guts." He didn't miss the way Cole suddenly looked down.

"I didn't tell her until after I kissed her." Cole admitted quietly and looked down at his gloved hands on the table, "I wasn't going to but seeing her undress and then in nothing but my... I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. She was so -"

"So that's when Krem, the other chargers, and I agreed to help the man." Bull cut him off even though he could barely contain his curiosity as Raven made her way back to the table with a large drink for him and a tea tray in her other hand. She smiled at Bull as she put down his pint before turning her attention to Cole who stood up and gently took the tray from her so it would remain balanced and set it on the table.

"What are we talking about?" She asked while taking her seat. She could feel Cole stiffen beside her as Bull started into a tale about the time he and the Chargers went giant baiting. It was a story Raven had heard many times before but sitting across from from him as it was happening and watching the lines around his eye appear as it lit up with excitement and hearing his loud, booming laugh as he tried his best to explain the science of giant baiting in a much more relaxed way than in the game made her so unbelievably happy to be back.

Cole remained silent as The Iron Bull managed to lose himself in sharing his memories with he and Raven. At that moment it was just the three of them; no painful memories, no hurt, and no regrets and as Cole's gaze shifted from The Iron Bull over to Raven who had changed her position so she was now sitting with her feet on the chair with her legs pressed against the table he found himself smile. She knew the story he was telling, he could see it in her eyes, but that didn't stop her from taking in the details and enjoying her time with them. Cole wanted to reach up and run his hand along the soft skin of her neck and kiss her again and maybe she knew it because without looking at him she removed a hand that rested on her knee and put it over his sending tingles through his body. It was a strange feeling and he knew she felt it too from the way her eyes suddenly widened and looked down to where they touched.

"So should we go giant baiting when we visit the Emerald Graves?" She asked, turning back to Bull in the process, "Between tracking down the red lyrium smugglers, fighting bears, and the haunted mansion it isn't like there's much to do." Her tone was sarcastic but it was her words both men focused on.

Bull only stared at her, his eye wide before responding, "Uh... What?"

"I take it Christopher hasn't talked to Cullen in detail about hunting down Samson yet." It wasn't a question and much to Bull's dislike she only shrugged, "Surprise?"

"Has Cullen talked to you about it?" Bull had a feeling he already knew the answer and honestly didn't know why he insisted on hearing it from her. Raven's knowledge of them and what seemed like everyone's damn objective was one of their best kept secrets that no one ever talked about unless it was behind closed doors. Even the Ben'Hassrath didn't know about her. They would most likely capture her or attempt to kill her if they did. Raven bringing up things that hadn't even been discussed yet so out in the open was a first. In the past she usually waited until a plan of action was being discussed before putting her own thoughts in which always seemed to be the best strategy.

"He mentioned it only in passing and that was before the Masquerade. He'll most likely bring it up at the next council meeting and then we can discuss what needs to be done." She explained while bringing the cup of tea to her lips and draining the thing, enjoying the sweetness. Why she was telling Bull, of all people, what their next objective would most likely be she wasn't sure but it felt good to talk about it. Since Cullen had truly brought it up it wasn't like she was pulling it from her own personal knowledge just yet. That would come later.

"And you're sure of this?" Bull replied hesitantly and against his better judgment. Did he really want to know what she knew? Would it help them like it did in the past?

"Well, yeah. Cullen has been using nearly every resource and ounce of free time he has to track down Samson. Him not bringing it up to Christopher is highly unlikely." It was strange how discussing her knowledge and future plans came out so easily.

"So this has nothing to do with that thing you do and the way you know seem to know everything else?" Bull finally asked once he'd taken a moment to process her words. It wasn't a secret among the Boss's inner circle that Cullen had been scouring nearly all of Ferelden and Orlais for hints on Samson and anything involving red lyrium so it could be possible she was just speaking of everyday observations and he was simply thinking too much.

"Even if it did I wouldn't go into extensive detail here." Raven poured herself another cup of tea, not taking her hand from Cole's as she did.

  
Getting back into the habit of waking early for training didn't come easy, especially the next morning. At an hour before sunrise Raven would've been awake and on her way to Cullen's office but instead she was curled up against Cole, head on his chest, still fast asleep while dreaming of food as he gently ran his fingers through the long silky tresses that made up her hair like he often did even before kissing her the morning before.

"Raven..." Cole spoke softly and was rewarded with a moan, "you have training today."

"Those pervy bastards can wait." She grumbled while slowly sitting up and Cole would've smiled if he didn't know exactly what eight of those men were thinking the moment they saw her at the tavern. They thought she was a noble, weak kneed at the thought of carnage and that she was better suited to fulfill the needs of men. He was eager to see her put them in their place like she had with the others. She sat there a moment, eyes closed and long hair trailing down to the bed and he knew she was truly debating on going back to sleep. When she sighed and slowly opened her eyes to look at him he knew the logical side had won.

Raven stared down at him in a groggy haze and she silently cursed as the funny feeling returned in her stomach. What did people back home call them? Butterflies? They were annoying but seeing him in her bed, feeling his hands on her skin and in her hair, and hearing his soft voice in her ear was worth it. Before he had a chance to try and coax her again she scooted out of bed, enjoying the way the cool air felt on her warm skin.

"I like when your hair flows." He admitted quietly after a moment as he watched her stretch and contort her body in a variety of positions to ready her muscles and crack the joints. The sleeveless shirt she wore rode up while she did so exposing the pale skin of her stomach.

"I'm going to have to cut it soon, it's getting too long." She replied while walking to her dresser to find not only something comfortable and easy to move in for the day but also something that would give the right impression to her new band of recruits. "You're still coming today?"

"Yes. The Iron Bull and I were going to watch." Cole replied once he was finally out of her bed. Having slept in his breeches he put his shirt on quickly before turning towards her to see she already had on a pair of black leather breeches and was in the middle of removing her loose top, her back to him, so she could replace it with one of her special sleeved training corsets made of canine leather and dyed black. Her boots were last before she began working on her hair in the mirror.

"After training I have a council meeting. Should I come find you when I'm done?" She asked once she finished with her hair.

"If you'd like." Raven looked back at Cole and smiled as he spoke, eyes taking him in as as he made his way towards her. "Varric told me yesterday that he wanted to see you." By the time he finished that sentence he was in front of her and she could only sigh in response as his hands rested on her hips and he leaned in till his lips met hers in a tender kiss that had her fighting to keep control. She wasn't sure how or why her body seemed to come alive when only he touched her but she loved it.

  
It wasn't till the sun was starting to rise that Raven and Cole made their way from the main hall down the steps into the upper courtyard to meet up with Bull who was leaning against the wall Cole usually sat on looking annoyed as he looked down at the recruits laughing loudly on the lower grounds. When Raven and Cole approached he looked away from them and down to her.

"Trouble?" Raven asked while assessing his expression. It looked like he wanted to hit someone, or something, and she wonder d what could've caused it.

"The one with the patchy beard is a mouthy bastard but there's no weight behind it. The redhead is the one with the potential to cause damage. You'll know." His tone alone let her know it was serious so all she did was nod and, fighting the urge to ask what exactly was said, she turned to kiss Cole lightly on the cheek before making her way down the steps.

"I don't want her near him. He's hurt people." Cole muttered quietly when she was far enough away. Bull looked to Cole and nodded, for once not minding that demon shit he did because he really didn't want to say it aloud.

"I already let Cullen and Red know. It's not like she can't handle herself but I'm not taking a chance with him."

Raven made her way down the steps to the lower courtyard while eying the men carefully. She already recognized the men from the tavern the night before including the redhead and the man with the patchy beard. It was them that noticed her first and slowly grabbed the attention of the others. A lot were bigger than the last men she trained.

"Good morning, Gentlemen." Raven greeted kindly as she stopped ten feet from them, "Please line up so we can begin."

"Sweetheart, are you sure you're not lost?" It was the man with the patchy beard who spoke and Raven had to fight the urge to roll her eyes at the thought of another group of pathetic men working overtime to try to come off as badasses.

"Let me guess, the kitchen is that way?" Raven wasn't able to hide the sarcasm from her voice and the group of men laughed.

"Not at all but I know the nearest Duke's bedroom is in the eastern wing and you might be put to -" His comment was replaced by a scream as she closed the distance between them within the blink of an eye and brought her dagger to his throat as her other hand held his head in place.

"If you finish that sentence I'll cut out your tongue. Where would your rude, empty comments come from then?" She asked him quietly with a genuine smile as she watched a bead of sweat run down from his forehead. With a shove she pushed him back and put her dagger back in its harness.

"Who the hell are you?" It was another man who spoke and Raven had to fight the urge to groan. Why was it already too familiar?

"My name is Raven O'Hara and I am to be your trainer. Except you," She pointed to the man with the patchy beard who still seemed to be recovering, "you won't be training with us today. Instead you are going to report to my very large Qunari friend who is standing up there watching us. You can come back tomorrow." Her words seemed to be what brought him out of his shocked state and she wasn't surprised that he glared at her.

"Fuck you, I will. You can't actually expect us to believe that tramp like -"

"Make that a week. Anyone want to join him?" She asked and was glad to be answered with silence, even from the men she saw the night before.

"You can't do that, you bitch. I don't know what authority you think you have over us but it ain't worth shit to me." The man's voice was growing even louder and Raven kept her eyes on him, her stance subtly changing. She was preparing for an attack and calculating how long she would have to pull out her daggers or if she should simply dodge and disarm. His words hurt but she would show that later when it was just her and Cole.

"Man, you can't say things like that to her. She's our trainer and a lady." One of the unfamiliar men spoke quietly to his friend and it didn't go unnoticed.

"You think you're a badass, yeah? Of course you do. Small boy from an equally small farm in Ferelden leaving to join the big, bad Inquisition." As she spoke she let her hands make quick work of removing the braid and throwing it up in a simple bun in case the petty bastard were to attack and try to grab her, all while never taking her eyes off him, "You must be a real man now. I'll tell you what; come at me with all you have, big man. If you manage to knock me on my ass before I knock you on yours then you can train with the other soldiers and I will no longer be your instructor. However, if I win this little game then you're out of the Inquisition and yes, I do have that authority." She was done playing and apparently so was he because not two seconds later he charged forward, small sword in hand. His attacks were clumsy and it was easy enough to see that she was toying with him, dodging his faulty swings and inaccurate lunges before gracefully dropping to her hunches and using any and all strength she had to knock the bastard kid's feet from under him with one swift kick. As he landed with a loud crash of metal on metal Raven slowly rose from the ground, standing straight while the other men remained silent in response to what had just occurred.

"I don't know what you may have heard about me or what you think you know and I honestly couldn't care less. I've done nothing but work my ass off to get to the position I am and it'll be a cold day in fucking hell before I have a disrespectful piece of shit like you question it or try take that away. Take off that armor, grab your shit, and leave. If you blatantly refuse to to follow orders from your trainer simply because she's a woman then there isn't a place for you.

"You can't do that." He argued as he struggled to get up from the ground.

"Take it up with Cullen or Christopher. If anyone else has a problem with me teaching them please take your leave." When no one else made a move Raven forced herself to smile though she wasn't in any way amused, "Alright then. Since introductions were interrupted before I would like to start again. My name is Raven, I'm an advisor to the Inquisition, have about seventeen years of combat and weapon training, and I am to be your instructor for the foreseeable future. It's nice to meet you all."

 

  
"Raven, I'm not saying I disagree with your decision after what you and Bull told me but did you really have to point him in my direction?" Cullen asked from across the war table. Raven was in her usual chair, her arms resting on the back of it. The training outfit she'd had on earlier had been replaced with a pair of loose black pants, a light green tunic, and he noticed she wasn't wearing shoes. As usual they were the first ones to the war room, having walked there together once she'd changed after training and she had yet to hear the end of his whining because that kid with the patchy beard had indeed gone crying to Cullen.

"You're the one he wanted to see. What else was I supposed to do?" Raven asked as she looked at him with a smile. "I was just being helpful."

"What are you two bickering about now?" They both looked at Josephine as she entered the room through the large wooden doors. Leliana, Cassandra, and Christopher followed and Raven didn't miss the subtle smile the Seeker threw him as they parted to a respectable distance. Morrigan was the last to enter dressed in the clothes Raven remembered so well from both Inquisition and Origins. She was beautiful but even from where Raven sat casually in her favorite chair she could feel that the air was just a little colder around the woman. They hadn't had the chance to meet at the Winter Palace and at that moment she was glad.

"Raven had a rather disrespectful recruit today and she kicked him out of the Inquisition." Cullen was quick to the point and Raven chuckled at the expression on the Ambassador's face.

"In my defense he agreed to the terms." She shot back while pulling the hair tie from her wrist and aiming it at Cullen. It hit his armor with a small clang and bounced off onto the floor somewhere.

"I'm sorry. What happened exactly?" Christopher asked with a grin and Raven let out a chuckle as he held a hand up to silence Cullen who was about to speak.

"I arrived at the training grounds and before I could even introduce myself the degenerate in question insinuates that I'm lost and would be much better suited in a Dukes bed. When I tried to reprimand him he calls me a tramp and then proceeds to tell me that my authority doesn't mean shit to him."

"And he's still alive?" Christopher asked as he continued to stare at Raven, his eyes had gone wide and he looked to Cullen who seemed just as surprised. Clearly those details weren't given to him.

"It is what it is. Per the terms of our little wager - which he lost - he's out of the Inquisition or at least out of my class. I'm sorry Christopher, Cullen, but I refuse to invest my time, effort, and patience into someone who has no respect for authority and thinks my time is better spent in a man's bed." It was a fair point and there was no doubt that they agreed with her.

"So why were you two arguing?" Josephine asked, back to the original question and Raven snickered as Cullen glared at her with those amber eyes of his.

"Apparently he rejected the terms after he'd lost and was told to take it up with me. An hour of hearing a grown man whine like a spoiled child was not how I wanted to spend my morning."

"Now you know how I feel, Cullen." Raven shot back with a smile and looked to Morrigan, surprised, when she heard the woman chuckle. Was she amused by their banter or their immaturity, Raven couldn't tell and it bothered her. When the witch's golden eyes met her green ones Raven looked away and back to those she was more familiar with.

"Putting the whining of grown men aside how was your time in the Hinterlands, Raven?" Leliana asked with a smile.

"Definitely not as chaotic as it was last time I was there. I spent a lot of time with the refugees, following up with Corporal Vale, and gathering materials. I'm glad to be back, however." Raven replied. She wasn't surprised the scouts kept Leliana informed of her actions.

"Thank you for following up with them while you were there. Now that you're back we can finally get down to business. The ball was a success. We managed to stop Florianne's assassination plot and also gained valuable allies in Empress Celene, Gaspard, and Briala." Josephine read off the list she has laid out on her board.

"And let's not forget how much the court loved you, Inquisitor. Although we have Raven to thank for most of that." Leliana acknowledged and Raven simply shrugged.

"Any news on Duke Durand?" Raven asked instead while doing her best to ignore the feeling of Morrigan's eyes still on her, studying her as she spoke.

"Yes, actually. News of his actions have been spread and a lot of the nobles who have spent time with you haven't taken too kindly to it." Leliana replied casually and Raven leaned more of her weight forward onto the back of the chair not able to bring herself to even attempt to care about the consequences the Duke was going through. Thanks to Cole she'd dodged a mistake in itself.

"And just so we're clear there are no ties between him and us anymore?" Raven asked and both Leliana and Josephine nodded.

"Good. Now that we're done talking about the past let's start discussing what we need to do going forward." With those words Raven stood up from her chair and walked over to the war table. With a glance to Cullen who watched her with knowing eyes she took one of the large markers to the side and put it onto the map over the Emerald Graves and nodded for him to start speaking.

"The one thing that makes Samson so powerful is red lyrium. Because it's so uncommon I've been able to track down three smugglers all in the Emerald Graves that have managed to deal with it and are rumored to have ties to Samson as well as the Red Templars. If we cut off the source of Red Lyrium it will cripple Samson's operations significantly." He addressed everyone while speaking but his eyes remained on Raven for most of it as she sat back down, straddling that chair of hers she always said was so comfortable. Cullen shouldn't have been surprised she brought up the Emerald Graves; she tended to remember things they talked about or perhaps it was simply the knowledge she seemed to have from that other world of hers. He couldn't tell. Christopher came forward and looked at the table.

"It's certainly worth looking into. If there are red lyrium mines in the Emerald Graves they need to be shut down regardless of who is using them. The fact that they're there is enough." Just the thought of them aggravated him, "Raven what else is out there?" Chances were there would be a lot if red lyrium was involved. She smiled up at him but didn't move from her seat. How had he not noticed before that she wasn't wearing shoes?

"Freemen of the Dales. Their leader wants to talk to you. There are smugglers like Cullen mentioned - some have even taken prisoners. Aside from that there's a pretty cool haunted mansion, really big bears, a dragon, an area full of nothing but Giants, and also the Elven ruin of Elgar'nan's Bastion. Oh, rifts too. Like, a lot of them. Some will have pride demons."

Morrigan stared in silence as she watched the small redhead interact with the Inquisitor and members of the council like they were best friends hardly able to believe that she was the one others held with such high respect or that what she was saying happened to be truth. They hadn't had the chance to meet at the Winter Palace and she had been gone up until the day before but in the last week alone she had heard so many stories about the small girl that looking at her at that moment, dressed in loose clothes, no shoes, and unruly red hair, all of them seemed like tales. How could a creature so small shed so much blood and fight demons alongside the Qunari and mage's like Christopher and also stop mid-fight to comfort someone who was hurt? Was her information about the Emerald Graves even correct and, if so, how could she possibly know so much?

"How long do you think we would be there?" Christopher asked and was given a shrug.

"I'd estimate a couple weeks given the landmass. Maybe a month if we don't want to kill ourselves. Did you want me to come with you on this one?" She asked and Morrigan couldn't tell if she truly wanted to go or not. Was the girl always like that? She couldn't tell.

"Would you mind?" Christopher asked almost sounding hopeful, "I know you just returned yesterday."

"Not at all. When did you want to leave and who else would you like to bring so I can let them know?" Even though she didn't show it Raven was excited. The idea of exploring the Emerald Graves was a lot more exciting and even tolerable than having to deal with the new recruits she had been given to train.

"Why don't you tell Bull, Solas, and Cole we'll be leaving in five days. Is that long enough for you to repack, rest, and get get everything situated?" Raven stared at him for a moment before making eye contact with Cassandra, Leliana, Josephine, and finally Cullen. No doubt there were things that had to be done and she would certainly work around them but was Christopher aware that he was acting much more courteous than normal? In general he was a very compassionate and considering person but how he was acting put her on edge.

"Five days is more than enough time. I'll keep training the recruits and doing what's needed in the meantime. Cullen, if it isn't too much trouble can I copy the notes you have before we leave?" She asked and smiled when he nodded in response.

"May I interrupt for a moment?" It was Morrigan who spoke and Raven had to force herself to look at the beautiful witch, "I don't mean to be rude but I've heard stories of you all week and nearly all of them seem untrue. Who are you exactly?" No one said anything for a moment and Raven cocked her head in confusion as she tried to process the small fact that Morrigan seemed curious enough to want to know about her. What had been said in her absence?

"My name is Raven and for some reason I'm an advisor for the Inquisition, despite all the skepticism about it today." Raven finally answered and frowned when Morrigan nearly scoffed in response, "I'm really tired of having to explain and defend my position to people. I have years of weapon and combat training as well as military strategy and I've also helped gain approval and influence among many nobles of Orlais, Ferelden, and Navarra."

"Raven might be young but she's helped the Inquisition a great deal, Morrigan." Christopher defended.

"So you mean to tell me that the stories I've been hearing about you being one of the most dangerous members of the Inquisition are true?" It was quiet for a moment after the witch's question had been asked. Not that anyone wanted it to be but what could any of them say? Raven didn't look dangerous sitting there in clothes too big for her looking just as confused as Christopher and her fellow advisors.

"Whether I'm the most dangerous person here or not shouldn't matter if you're here with good intentions. Christopher, since I seem so underwhelming to the new addition to your council and we have an idea of what we're going to be doing on our trip to the Emerald Graves can I please leave?" She asked while standing up to stretch her sore limbs.

"Sure. I'll come find you later." Raven nodded and let out a slight groan as she cracked her back before starting to leave the room. She would have to pass Morrigan and her unjustly judgmental yellow eyes but that didn't matter to her. It was clear they didn't mention her secret in the time she was gone and Raven was grateful so with a small smile to the witch she stopped less than a foot away.

"I'll work on trying not to be so disappointing for you next time. Your son is adorable, by the way. I bet Alistair would be proud." It was a long shot, maybe only a thirty percent chance she was actually right but the way Morrigan's face paled and her expression faded into something that almost looked like fear Raven knew she had called it and left the war room, narrowly escaping a string of curses being thrown at her. Playing with Morrigan was a dangerous game; she'd gone through enough playthroughs of Origins and Inquisition to know her strengths and weaknesses as well as what her goal among the Inquisition would be. As she entered the main hall her eyes went to Varric's table where he and Cole were seated.

"Ginger, it's been ages." Varric greeted with a smile as she came forward to sit in her usual place next to him. Cole was seated on the other side of her and remained quiet, his eyes on her though and she knew he'd gotten at least a glimpse of what had just happened. She wasn't surprised and unlike others she didn't mind. They would most likely talk about it later.

"Don't get all dramatic on me, Varric. It's only been a week." She replied with a smile, "Anything new happen while I was gone?"

"You mean aside from the Witch of the Wilds showing up a day after everyone returned from the Winter Palace with her kid? It's been pretty much the same with the exception of seeing your cheerful face everyday." He laughed when she did all while looking at Cole, watching him as he watched her and the way his eyes lit up when she smiled and laughed. He always prided himself in noticing things others didn't but how in Andraste's name hadn't he noticed that before?

"I just met her. I don't think she likes me much." Raven told him as she rested back in her seat. Her news didn't surprise him, that woman seemed to not like anyone.

"She was curious and then disappointed. Fighting demons, training soldiers, helping to discover new places and you're just a girl. So young and looking so innocent. She doesn't know how you came to be here or what you know if it helps." Cole spoke quietly and Varric didn't miss the way his hand came up and covered hers.

"I'll worry about her and pretend to care about what she thinks of me once we get back from the Emerald Graves. We leave in five days."

"But you just got back," Cole started to protest, "Why is he making you leave again already?" He asked quietly and Raven ignored Varric's surprised expression as she leaned forward and kissed Cole lightly on the cheek.

"You're coming with us. Cullen found some red lyrium smugglers and we need to take care of them as soon as possible." Her words only made him feel a little better. He knew their friends would look after her to make sure she didn't push herself too hard but at least he would be there to watch instead of worry from their home.

"Only you would sound excited by that, Ginger." Varric commented with a laugh. Raven looked at him with a sheepish smile and a shrug. She was more excited about exploring the Emerald Graves than finding the smugglers but there was no denying that it needed to be done.

  
"May I speak with you for a moment?" The voice cut through Raven's concentration like a knife. The day had gone by quickly in all respect but with training then meeting after meeting it had been very long in a way and as Raven looked up from her book to see Morrigan standing over her she had to suppress a groan while remembering to play nice.

"What do you want to talk about?" Raven asked while still not ready to put her book away. The older woman's answer would depend on that.

"You. How did you know about Kieran?" The witch asked and Raven looked away from her and continued reading, not that she was particularly invested in the content; it was a book Dorian had pushed her to read weeks ago and now that she was finally giving it a chance after all the hype he'd given it she was disappointed to find the content dry and lacking. "I'm talking to you." Morrigan sounded exasperated as she continued to speak.

"I just know. Don't worry, I don't plan on spreading that news around." Raven did her best to sound indifferent as she turned the page and continued to half heartedly skim the words.

"That doesn't explain how you know. What else are you keeping from me and the Inquisition?" She could tell the witch was growing angry. With a sigh Raven put the book down and looked to Morrigan who was standing over her.

"Are you sure you want to get into the things I know?" The young girl asked and Morrigan stopped from answering as she took in how serious the girl suddenly was, her eyes losing all humor and anything that made her seem so young. "There is a reason the extent of my knowledge is kept a secret from those outside the inner circle and even then it isn't spoken of unless it's in absolute privacy."

"What could possibly be that important?" Morrigan found herself asking and wanted to curse for playing into the girls game. Nothing could be that significant.

"I know what has to be done in order to succeed against Corypheus and have used that knowledge to help Christopher every step of the way. I know the futures of everyone no matter what choices they make, where we need to go and what has to be achieved while there." Morrigan couldn't help but throw her head back and laugh at the young girl and her tales. There wasn't any possible way anyone could know such things. Throughout the witches laughing Raven didn't move, didn't blink, and her expression remained the same. She wasn't expecting the older woman to laugh so openly.

"Enough jesting, girl." The witch finally spoke after her laughter died down and she watched as Raven's head cocked to the side.

"People's lives depend on those choices and what I know, Morrigan. I've proven myself to Christopher and the others on more than one occasion. I wouldn't joke about that." Raven said finally as she stood up and dusted off her pants. She understood how crazy it sounded and didn't blame the woman for not believing her but it didn't stop the annoyance she felt. It wasn't Morrigan's position to question her knowledge and what she was capable of; those stupid recruits did that enough though without the man with the patchy beard they were more behaved and despite her caution it was Nikolas, the man with the red hair, that helped keep them in line.

"So you're telling me that you have this omniscient knowledge about what's going to happen in the days to come?" Morrigan's tone held less humor than before and with a quick count to ten to keep her attitude in check Raven slowly turned to face the woman again.

"I don't know if I would call it omniscient but that knowledge is what helped so many people survive Haven and helped Christopher save both Stroud and Hawke. You kept an eye on Christopher throughout the masquerade; how do you think he knew exactly what to say and to whom or where all the halls statues, caprice coins, and dirty little secrets were hidden? I wrote it all down for him in advance."

"That's impossible. The inquisitor would've told -"

"No he wouldn't." Under normal circumstances Raven would've felt bad in cutting off the woman so dead set on disbelieving her but Morrigan was starting on her last nerve, "None of them would. My knowledge is one of the Inquisitions best kept secrets among outsiders which is what you still technically are."

"Is there a problem here?" A familiar voice asked and Raven smiled and turned her attention to Solas who stood not ten feet from them. His voice was calm, demeanor dignified as always, but his eyes told a different story and she knew he was ready to defend her if needed.

Solas stared at his friend; she looked utterly exhausted and annoyed and he couldn't blame her. They hadn't had a chance to speak much since her arrival from the Hinterlands a couple days ago, she'd spent that time running herself ragged with training the new recruits, meeting with the Inquisitor and advisors, and getting ready for their expedition to the Emerald Graves. He'd been wanting to talk to her regarding the new development with Cole to see if she had any knowledge from before about him developing romantic feelings but from what he'd observed of them together she seemed just as shocked as everyone else who had the mind to watch them both.

"No, Solas, there isn't a problem. Would you like to have dinner in my room tonight? It's long overdue." Raven asked quietly and he couldn't help but smile at her. It had been too long and he missed their conversations irregardless of recent events which he would ask about later and he knew she knew.

"I would love to Da'len. Same time? I'll let the kitchens know." She nodded her approval and turned to make her way out of the empty garden. She had been alone in her reading before the witch and he arrived. When Morrigan began to protest again Solas glared at the woman and Raven paid her no mind. Once she was gone Solas turned his full attention to the other woman.

"I'll ask that you refrain from bothering her in the future." He chose his words and tone carefully, "Raven is a dear friend and important to all of us." The witch glared at him and even though his eyes were on her he knew Raven as well as Cole were present on the floor above them outside of her room.

"You truly expect me to believe what that girl is saying? It's ridiculous and I will get to the bottom of it." Morrigan shot back even more annoyed than before.

"I don't expect you to believe anything. I only ask that you leave her alone before you cause problems you won't want to deal with. There isn't anyone here that won't choose her side if needed but, Morrigan, I have seen the effects of her knowledge up close. It has been a topic discussed time and time again since she was brought to us." As he spoke a large part of him enjoyed the surprised expression that graced her features. When he turned to leave she didn't stop him and part of him was surprisingly disappointed but at least he had something to look forward to and that was Morrigan's reaction once Raven decided to show what she was truly capable of.


	27. Mortality at its finest

__"I honestly don't know what you expect me to do with this." Raven's flat tone did nothing to hide her distaste as she held the item up in front of her, taking in the sight of silk knotted ropes, bits of metal, and softened black leather. Bull looked down at her, his one eye meeting hers and he knew she would break and wear it eventually; If not because of the simple convenience of what he had just given her then because she was generally unable to deny her friends for too long, especially if he really took the time to use that against her. If it meant seeing her in one of the designs of his homeland it'd be worth it. He'd had the armor among his things since before they left a week ago for the Emerald Graves and in that time he'd waited for a good time to give it to her. Well, he supposed, it was hardly convenient but she did say something about missing the lightness of the pants and tunics she wore in the desert.

"Wearing it would be nice. It is armor after all." He replied with a sly smile and Raven rolled her eyes in response before tossing it onto the log next to her, already denying to herself about how she missed the things softness. The armor Bull had given her was an antaam-saar, and the superb version at that. It was the traditional light weight Qunari armor made up of pants, patches of cloth to cover her breasts, and rope along with some metal. Raven had often used the armor in the game but never dreamed of actually wearing one in real life, even as Bull presented her with a beautifully made version. It was true that some of what she wore could be considered revealing but, armor or not, the antaam-saar was worse.

"That's hardly armor, Bull. The loose pants and tunic I wear on a regular basis around Skyhold offer more in terms of decency." She protested and he smiled.

"Since when have you ever been decent on the battlefield, Girl?" Bull asked with a smirk, knowing he was right, "Harrit and I put a lot of thought into this armor. The rope is silk, the pants are softened august ram leather, and the bits of metal are nevarrite that the boss got from the emporium in Kirkwall. Even Cole gave his input." He wanted to chuckle and comment on how her interest spiked once the Kids name was mentioned. He'd had a bigger part in helping with the armor than Bull lead on, helping to decide the materials to use, what masterwork item would best suit her abilities, and even the tint of the armor afterward. He liked her in black and purple, not that Bull could blame him.

"So Cole knew you'd be giving me nothing but a pair of pants and some rope? How deep does this fetish you have go, anyway?" Raven asked incredulously and she turned to glare at Bull as he chuckled.

"I helped pick out what was needed. You wanted something softer with more room to move." Cole murmured softly as he appeared next to her, causing Bull to quietly curse in surprise, "The Iron Bull, how does this armor go on? It doesn't look very protective." He asked while picking up the armor from the log, not sure how he should feel about the finished product. It was soft, light, even though it was partly leather and metal. Was there something he wasn't seeing?

"The masterwork item has a heal bonus and gives her an immunity to damage. Just humor me and try it on. Worst case scenario is you don't like it." With a sigh directed to Bull and his insistence Raven picked up the armor and made her way to the tree line. Stupid Qunari, she thought, as she kneeled down to pet a nug in the process. Just because Christopher insisted she stay back with Bull and Cole while he, Solas, and Cassandra met with Fairbanks didn't mean they could waste time by making her play dress up.

 

It was quieter than usual when Solas and the others arrived back at the camp. Since leaving the company of Fairbanks Cassandra and the Inquisitor had been discussing possible plans of action and while it was certainly productive and nice to think about he knew they would all follow Raven's plan because, unlike them, she knew what was to come. In truth, not that he'd ever let them know, it still unnerved him. She knew who and what he was, that it was his magic Christopher wielded, and what he would need to do in order to bring back the old age. She had the power to destroy him with the knowledge she held but nearly a year had gone by and despite everything she knew about his past and what would happen in the future he sensed no malice in her. In that year he'd lost track of how many times they'd gotten lost in conversation about his journeys into the fade and the spirits he'd come to know. He had been cautious when he started to consider her a friend but after everything they'd been through, everything she'd shown him there was no denying that she was the one he considered himself closest to.

"Bull, where's Raven?" It was the Seeker who had asked and Solas took a moment from his thoughts to look around and notice that she wasn't around the fire with Bull and Cole.

"Went to wander, I guess." The Qunari replied with a casual grin, "Come on, Seeker. If anyone knows this place it's her. I'm sure she won't do anything to put herself in danger." Even as he said it they all knew there was a chance. There was always a chance.

"I'm surprised you aren't with her, Cole." Solas commented as he focused his attention on the young man. They hadn't seen each other much since his choice to become human and perhaps part of it was his fault in not wanting to accept that a spirit of compassion could be capable making that decision. The trip to Redcliff and Cole's choice had been on his mind since it happened and part of him was curious to know if it was really Cole who was behind that choice or if he was doing it to appease someone else. Solas found himself uttering a few silent curses for thinking Raven was behind the choice but she knew the outcome of nearly everything they had gone through and he'd be blind to not notice that her words were always calculated and spoken in a way to have the others do what she wanted if it meant achieving a certain result. To his dismay a wave of guilt flooded him when he realized he'd had such horrid thoughts. Cole must've heard them because he suddenly looked angry.

"She's enjoying time by the water and exploring. She's also mad that she likes the armor The Iron Bull gave her." The young man's reply was short and to the point and Solas had to stare down at him. He didn't give away more than what was needed, his sentences complete and well spoken instead of ramblings like they had once been. Was that something he learned on his own or did Raven or Varric help?

"I didn't know she needed new armor. Was something wrong with her scouts jacket?" Cassandra asked sitting down on one of the logs. "I'm sure we could've asked Harritt to make some alterations."

"Her jacket is fine, Seeker," Bull replied with a smile, "but with the warmth down here I felt she needed something a little different. My contacts in the Ben-Hassrath sent me some schematics and I figured our little redhead would find one useful." He explained and noticed that it wasn't only the Seeker that seemed interested.

"How so? I've seen your armor, Bull, and it doesn't really leave anything to the imagination." Bull prided himself in not smiling at that moment.

"The _serrebas_ back in Par Vollan and Seheron wear light armor that doesn't constrict movement and is surprisingly more protective than it looks. I even had Harritt and Dagna add some heal bonuses to it."

"Before we get into a discussion about Raven's armor," Solas started and smiled down at Cole, "Cole, would you like to take a walk with me?" He could see it took a moment for the young man to process his request and instead of nodding he simply stood up and silently followed Solas along one of the many paths the Emerald Graves seemed to have.

"Can I ask you a question, Solas?" Cole asked and Solas slowed his pace while turning to look at his friend, "Raven is your friend. I may be human now but parts of me can still feel and see like before. She didn't make me this way. Why do you keep thinking she did?" He didn't sound angry, just curious, and Solas found himself hesitating before allowing himself to answer.

"The knowledge she possesses is extraordinary as I'm sure you've noticed. To put it plainly she's been using that knowledge to help us and the Inquisition succeed because we know it's what she wants. Did she say anything about wanting you to become human before we tried the amulet?" Cole stopped walking and it took Solas a few steps to realize the young man was no longer at his side. Looking back he wished he hadn't. He'd never seen Cole look as angry and hurt than he did in that moment and the amount of regret that washed over Solas was staggering.

"She didn't tell me what would happen. She only asked that with any choice I end up having to make, I make because it's something I want. She promised to be there for me no matter what I decide to do. The hurt still comes but I'm happy I made this choice."

"What about how close you two have become?" Solas countered, letting curiosity win over his better judgment, "You said you sometimes still felt and saw like you did before your change. Could what you be feeling merely be a reflection of her own emotions?"

The sounds of birds chirping, wind rustling the leaves on the trees, and the water running from a nearby river suddenly seemed deafening as Solas was met with silence from his friend. Part of him wished he hadn't asked but it was something he as well as Cole needed to know. He didn't doubt Raven's intentions even for a moment, knowing that she would never purposefully do something to hurt or harm any of them but Cole was a special circumstance. As a spirit there was no telling what he had gleaned in their time together or how it could've affected his choices.

"You haven't asked Raven these questions." Cole finally spoke and it was almost hard to, "Why is it just me? She's my friend. She helped me. Always honest even when she doesn't want to be, patient and understanding, always smiling, and ready to stop everything if something is wrong to help heal the hurt in others however she can while not caring how it makes her feel in the end. Varric helped a lot but she was the one who always made it so easy and still treated me like me when no one else did. Whatever she felt before the first time I kissed her was hidden away so deep that I couldn't see or feel it no matter how hard I tried and since then she hasn't asked for anything more."

"You kissed her? Cole, you told me you've had no interest in -" Solas started but Cole cut him off, something he'd never done before.

"That was before, Solas. I've changed. I'm human now and what I want is different. Besides, we haven't kissed since then." Cole couldn't hide the disappointment from his voice even though he really wanted to. Solas would've seen through it anyway, "Please don't talk to Raven. She cares so much and hurts more than she shows. I don't want you hurting her." Without another word Cole turned and made his way back to camp. His mind felt jumbled and he suddenly felt restless, scared, and even angry. Solas was his friend and it was easy to see how he cared for everyone in his own way, him and Raven more than the others and as much as he wanted to go back and ask why it seemed so impossible to believe that he may have longings and wants now that he was human he didn't want to face Solas anymore.

 

  
"So you liked the armor after all!" Bull exclaimed with a triumphant laugh when she returned hours later, to the relief of the three that had been gone when she had left. Cole sat quietly next to the large Qunari, his hat blocking any expression he could've had and part of it worries d her.

"Shut up, Bull. Christopher, did all go well?" Raven asked Christopher knowingly as she approached the camp. After dressing up in that ridiculous Qunari armor, which she was still wearing though it was something she'd stubbornly deny, she decided to take it upon herself to scout more of the area, even establishing another camp, killing a group of the smugglers they were there for, and finding the mine located in the southeast part of the Graves. It wasn't that she needed to but the Emerald Graves were lush and beautiful with so many animals and trees and it was nice to look around and get a jump on things instead of waiting around listening to Bull tease her about being right concerning the armor that she liked a lot more than she was willing to admit. That heal bonus and short immunity to damage came in handy.

"I take it you knew the red Templars are doing dealings with the lyrium smugglers." It wasn't a question, nor was it said out of anger, and Raven gave him a look that made him smile. Of course she knew, the information was pretty obvious.

"Speaking of smugglers, I have something for you." Raven pulled a note from the pocket they were so nice to include in her new armor and handed it to Christopher, "There's one less you have to worry about."

"So you've been busy." He acknowledged as he skimmed the letter before looking at her.

"You left me here. What else was I supposed to do?" Her voice held humor and Christopher couldn't help but smile. With how pleased Bull seemed regarding the armor she was currently wearing he couldn't blame her for heading off on her own. It also wasn't a question whether she knew the area better, she'd been giving him input all week.

"You could've helped devise a plan." Cassandra retorted with a hint of humor to her voice and Raven shrugged. At least she didn't have to deal with the Seeker's disapproval much anymore. They had gotten along a lot better lately and both women wanted to keep it that way.

"Those specifics you plan out aren't always that similar to what actually happens. Fret not, though. I found the mine and established another camp while taking out one of the smuggling groups and avoiding bears and rifts. No unnecessary risks, like you requested, because I'm a good girl." Cassandra smiled at the girls words and nodded, ignoring Bull's loud laugh that even made Cole jump.

"If you're a good girl what does that make me?"

"A pervert." Solas answered coming from his tent, directing a smile to the small red headed girl standing across the fire with Christopher and Cassandra.

" _Imekari."_ Raven commented and Bull turned to her quickly in surprise. It was an obvious fact that she was familiar with the Elvhen language, he'd heard it time and time again when she spoke with Solas, but she'd never used Qunlat before and calling him a child was certainly one hell of a surprise. She didn't look away from him as their eyes met, not that he expected she would. All she did was simply cock her head to the side before giving him an amused grin, "Do you disagree, Kadan?"

"Give me one night, _Basalit-an_ , and I'll show you that I'm no child." He growled fand Raven shrugged before taking a seat on a log across from him.

"Sorry but I'm spoken for. Looks like I'll just have to take your word for it. Or Dorian's." She replied with a disinterested politeness one would often hear from Vivienne while she crossed her legs and made herself comfortable by the heat of the fire while missing the confused looks she received from Christopher and Cassandra. The Emerald Graves grew surprisingly cold once the sun set.

"So how do you know the Qunari language? Is it from before you came here?" Solas asked while sitting down next to her.

"Qunlat? I don't. There is some basic terminology that I know but I'm, by no means, fluent in any way. Elvhen and its rhythm are easier for me." She replied and he smiled in response. "So what are the plans for tomorrow?" She was addressing the group as a whole now and Solas watched her eyes turn to Cole who had remained surprisingly quiet during their interactions. Was he thinking of their words earlier, Solas wondered. When Raven hadn't been with Cole and the Iron Bull when they had gotten back he had taken Cole aside and privately confided some of his concerns to the young man about his growing relationship with the young redhead, none of which Cole took particularly well and he'd had yet to say a word to anyone, Raven included, since then. Instead he remained in his current seat, listening to those around him while staring into the fire. "Cole, are you alright?" She asked and Solas watched the young man look at her and nod, a reassurance to the others who had been concerned like Christopher and Cassandra, even Bull, but she knew better and he knew that. They would talk later when so many ears weren't listening.

"You said you found the mine, Raven?" Cassandra asked and received a nod in reply, "We should probably take care of that tomorrow then."

"There's people being held there and a few guards. It's a shame Varric didn't come along, he'd like us destroying the red lyrium inside." Raven commented and stopped short when she saw the look Cassandra was giving her, "Previous knowledge, Cass. I didn't go in and explore, I swear!" The Seeker looked a lot less concerned with that assurance.

"If people are being held there then it should be our first priority tomorrow morning." Solas agreed and none of the group objected.

"What else is there in these parts?" Christopher asked while taking a seat next to Cassandra.

"This part, specifically? Aside from the mine there are fade rifts, bears, there's a mansion a little to the west that's guarded but the things inside are worth checking out, and then shards. I got the smuggling group for Cullen already. Oh, and landmarks. Landmarks are fun." She was sarcastic as she spoke that last part and then let her body visibly slump as she allowed herself to relax as the events of the day finally started to catch up with her. She knew the Graves were large but it in its entirety took her by surprise, though she didn't show it. A hand on her back caused her to look up at Solas and smile as he, quite literally, worked his magic, easing the tense muscles with mixtures of warm and cold and spirit. He smiled as she thanked him.

"So what would you recommend?" Christopher asked and waited for her reply. She knew the area better than they did and was almost always practical in her approach.

"Mine. Rifts. Fairbanks. Smugglers. Anything else is easy enough to come back to but I think we should get the things we need to get done out of the way first. Oh Bull, there's a dragon for you here."

"It breathes cold." Cole spoke suddenly, surprising the large Qunari sitting beside him.

"And uses its defenses like it's going out of style." Raven added and smirked when Bull's eyes lit up even more, "So between that and the giants you have plenty to look forward to." Bull laughed and took a long gulp of his drink, coughing a bit as the bitter liquid met the nerves of his throats and Raven chuckled in response before turning her attention to Solas, "Thank you. There are also some Elven ruins if you're interested. I can't promise it'll be soon but we will come to them."

Cole watched in silence as she and Solas spoke, eyes focused on the soft glow coming from his hands as he continued to sooth the aches Raven was feeling all while smiling and asking questions. There were a lot of them between The Iron Bull, Solas, Christopher, and Cassandra but she was patient, answering them all the best she could even though she was tired. Cole was tired as well and part of him wanted nothing more than to feel her curled up next to him in the tent they shared where he could stroke her hair and feel her warm skin and gentle heartbeat. Perhaps she would allow him to kiss her again. It had been so long and something he often caught himself thinking about. He missed the softness of her lips as they moved against his, the whimpers that came from the back of her throats when his fingers tangled in her hair, and the feeling of it all afterward. He felt right, complete, and so overwhelmingly happy that all other words seemed to escape him. A nudge caught him off guard and looking up he saw The Iron Bull looking down at him.

"You've been quiet tonight. I take it that talk with Solas didn't go well." Both were statements and Cole looked at his other companions, seeing that Christopher and Cassandra had left for bed and Raven was in the middle of a conversation with Solas about the history of the ruin they would undoubtedly come to. He watched the way his friends eyes lit up as he laughed at something she said that didn't reach him before turning back to The Iron Bull.

"He cares about me in his own way." Cole replied quietly and watched as confusion etched itself into his friends face, "I don't like some of the thoughts he has though. Not about her."

"That's life, Kid." Bull replied and Cole knew it was the truth, "But don't let it get to you too much. Just enjoy the things that make you happy and that you know are right for you."

"Like Dorian is for you." Cole replied and Bull felt himself nodding in agreement. The Vint was good for him even if Bull wasn't in the mood to expose it to everyone how serious they had become just yet.

"Yeah, like that." Was his simple reply.

 

  
The smell of lavender met his nose and slowly roused Cole from restful sleep. His head was groggy and for the first few moments of consciousness he struggled to open his eyes but when he felt the soft, small, warm body next to him stir he couldn't help but slowly open his blue orbs and look at the beautiful girl curled up against him. The sun had yet to rise and illuminate the tent, it was only the light of the fire outside their tent that peeked through the small opening and allowing him to see her. Cole was aware his heart had started to beat faster and he silently begged his body to calm but unlike before it didn't work. Could others control their bodies in such ways, Cole wondered, could Raven? Was it one of the many things he still had yet to learn?

"Go back to sleep, Dearest. It's too early." Raven murmured quietly as she curled even closer to him, if that were possible, and tilted her head up to kiss his cheek. Her smooth skin against his and the smell of lavender was all he could suddenly comprehend and Cole nearly groaned as excitement filled his body as, with one hand, he lifted her face even more and pressed his lips to hers. He'd waited for weeks to kiss her again and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why he'd waited so long and perhaps she agreed for within the next moment she was kissing him back and her small, slim, beautiful body was straddling him.

"Feel me." She broke the kiss with that desperate whisper before claiming his lips with hers again, licking at them and letting out a soft, satisfied whimper when he allowed his mouth to open and his tongue to gently come into contact with hers while his ungloved hands made their way to her hips. His body was humming, suddenly more alive than he could ever remember it being and she only deepened the kiss as he let his hands lift up the large tunic she had stolen from the men's armory to use as a sleep shirt and caress her bare skin. She was so soft and warm, whimpering into his mouth as he allowed his hands to explore her.

"You want this?" He asked her quietly while pulling away. Should he have been as excited as he was when she tried to lean forward to continue the kiss, "You want this with me?" He knew she did but he had to make sure. Why was he so desperate to hear her words of longing toward him?

"I've wanted this for weeks. Please kiss me, Cole." She pleaded and Cole almost moaned at the unexpected pleasure of her hands on his chest as she rolled her hips, brushing against the erection straining against his leathers that, somehow, he hadn't noticed before. "Kiss me, touch me, please." A plea that he was only too happy to fulfill as he gently rocked his hips and throbbing appendage against her, learning and adjusting to her rhythm as he swallowed her sweet cries and continued to caress her smooth skin which only seemed warmer under his touch. Her heart was racing alongside his, her hand reached up and tangled through his hair making him, out of instinct, gently bite her lower lip. Through her soft moans the heavy sound of footsteps caused him to pull away. It only took a moment for her to hear it too.

"Raven?" It was Cassandra's voice that cut through the tent causing the small girl in question to lay her head down on Cole's chest, and try desperately to calm her breathing and body, "I heard whimpering. Are you alright?" The Seeker was concerned and even he had to appreciate the way she looked out for her friends, even if it meant no longer kissing the beautiful woman in his arms.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, Cass. My stomach is a bit upset." Raven replied and let out a soft sigh as Cole gently kissed the top of her head and allowed his hand to continue caressing the smooth skin of her back, trailing up to her shoulder blades and then all the way down to her cotton covered bottom. She was so warm and Cole couldn't understand why he didn't do this more often especially since she seemed to love it just as much as he did.

"You too?" Cassandra asked, "I'm glad I'm not the only one who can't stomach Bull's cooking."

"I heard that, Seeker!" Bull's voice was loud from his tent across camp causing Raven to let out a small laugh that was nothing short of music to his ears. He cared very deeply for his friends but all he wanted was for them to leave. He'd waited for weeks to have Raven in his arms again.

"Thank you for your concern but I'll be fine after some sleep. Besides, you wouldn't want to wake up Solas would you? You know how grumpy he gets." Raven's response earned her a light chuckle from the Seeker before the sound of footsteps retreating from the tent were heard. Even in the dim light within the tent he could tell she was looking at him. Her hair had come undone sometime in the night and he could feel some of the strands on the bare skin of his chest. Usually he wore a tunic along with his breeches when they shared a tent but it was so warm in the Emerald Graves that at her insistence he change into a pair of cotton breeches she'd thrown in his bag for good measure before they left.

"So soft. So beautiful." He whispered quietly bringing one hand away from her back and up to cup her cheek. She wanted him; in the silence between them he could feel her heart racing against his own and the want she felt as she leaned down and kissed him again pouring herself and all she'd felt into it that he was almost overwhelmed, "Sweet, wanting, longing, begging that he wants the same thing - that _I_ want the same thing. Please, just one more kiss. Let this not be a mistake to him." His words, still quiet whispers only meant for them caused her to pull away and look down at him. Had he said something, he wondered and sat up to wrap his arms around her body that was once again pressed against his.

"I thought you were over voicing my thoughts." She stared and Cole had to take a moment to realize that she wasn't angry with him.

"It's just us." He replied while allowing himself to nuzzle the soft skin of her neck, "These thoughts should be spoken. You are the only one I've ever wanted and nothing about this is a mistake." Cole kissed her again and something in him reveled at the whimper that came from her.

  
The sun was barely through the trees when Raven emerged from her tent the next morning with her bag over her shoulder, a towel, and the armor from Bull in her arms. The night was warm and more humid than she expected so a bath was needed before anything else. She wasn't surprised to see Bull already up and seated by the fire pit using a whetstone on his giant axe. With a glance her way he gave her a knowing smile.

"Sleep well?" He asked casually, his smile only growing when she simply nodded. He knew. Of course he knew.

"I miss the cold." She replied truthfully, "I'm going to take a bath before we start on our agenda for the day. Also, I might need your help with the armor you gave me - I'm not sure if I have the ropes right."

Bull stared at the girl standing in front of him, the smile refusing to leave his face. He could tell she was still tired by her stance, very seldom was she ever so casual. Her hair was no longer braided like how it had been last night which lead him to believe that it had come lose in her sleep or it was removed by whatever activity her and Cole had been up to but the way her long, wavy red hair fell down around her face, over her shoulders, and down her back was sexy as hell. That tunic only made it better as it exposed one of her shoulders and he had to wonder if she realized the level of indecency she had reached or if she just didn't care. No doubt those nobles of Orlais would faint, that Josephine would faint, if they were to see her at that exact moment. Not that he cared in the slightest  

"Alright. Hurry back so we can do this before everyone wakes up and we're forced to answer questions." She chuckled at his response and with the silence of a trained rogue made her way out of camp while taking in her surroundings. They were in a relatively safe area and she smiled as she crossed August rams and nugs peacefully grazing on grass, careful not to disturb them. Thirty yards east and a ways north she reached the waterfall and couldn't even begin to express in words how much and how long she'd been wanting to bathe and relax in it. The cool water that enveloped her feet as she stepped into the water only made it better. With a quick look around to make sure she was alone she set down her bag and armor, retrieved her shampoo and soap, and made her way to the waterfall. Between Solas's healing magic last night and the pressure of the cool water massaging her skin she didn't bother holding back the loud groan of pleasure.

It wasn't often she had the time or opportunity to relax. She didn't mind though; loving every moment of training, learning, and helping Christopher and other members of the Inquisition in any way she could. It made the times she was able to be by herself that much better, she decided, as she leisurely washed her hair and then her body Only to frown slightly when her hands ran over the prominent pelvic bones. She'd have to start eating more and was surprised that no one had pointed it out before she discovered it herself. Normally she was the last one to notice anything when it included herself.

Bull was waiting by her things when she finally emerged naked and wet from her shower. Unlike Bull's obvious interest Raven couldn't bring herself to feel anything as he glanced down, taking in the sight of her naked body, before looking up and meeting her gaze. "The others are up so I figured I'd help you here." He explained and Raven smiled at him as he stood up to once again tower over her.

"Sounds good. Thank you again." As she spoke she grabbed the towel from on top of her bag and quickly dried off her body completely oblivious of him still watching her, taking in the soft curves and beautiful tattoos contrasting against her pale skin, some of which he'd never seen before. She was fucking beautiful and whether she realized it or not didn't matter. The Kid was damn lucky, he thought as he watched her retrieve her brush from the bag that seemed to have everything in it and quickly run it through her long hair before tying it up with one of the bands she usually kept around her small wrist.

"By the time we get back there should be enough time to grab some breakfast." He didn't know why he was trying to make small talk and she probably didn't either as she turned around, giving him a fantastic view of more tattoos and that sexy pale ass, as she quickly and gracefully pulled on the pants without any smalls.  "Take hold of the ropes." He instructed and waited for her to do as he said then allowed his hands to cover hers, guiding and explaining how to tie and position the ropes. When it came to the cloth that would be covering her breasts he removed his hands and waited patiently for her to adjust it to her liking.

"Does Dorian let you tie him up like this?" She asked while looking back at him with a knowing smile. The cheeky girl was far too curious for her own good, Bull mused while continuing to help her with the ropes. They were up to her arms before he finally replied.

"Only after a bottle of that shit he likes to drink." His response had her chuckling, "Move your arms. See how the ropes around them move and adjust along with you? That's what you want. You had it pretty damn right yesterday which isn't bad for someone whose never worn something like this before." Without another word he stepped back and waited for her to grab her things before they made their way back to camp.

 

  
"Shit, Bull! Help Solas!" Raven's voice carried over the sounds of fighting and the hum of magic in the air and the small girl breathed a sigh of relief as the Qunari got to Solas just before the soldier charging him from behind had a chance to do damage. The man she was fighting was all offense leaving Raven gritting her teeth as she was forced to deflect blow after blow of his sword. He was consistent in his rhythm, leaving an opening every four seconds. She was biding her time, counting to make sure it all went according to plan. There weren't many left, perhaps another three before she could stop and catch her breath which was growing harder to do as time went by. In the mines the day before a warrior had caught her off guard, something she hadn't accounted for, and ended up slamming her into the large red lyrium deposit they didnt have time to destroy before they were noticed. Before it just simply hurt and she figured her back was just bruised from the force. Now she wasn't so sure as she continued to struggle for breath and ignore the way her body had begun to feel hotter even though the sun wasn't on them.

"Time to die, ginger bitch!" The large man yelled as he brought his sword up over his head. Raven used that exact second to drop and roll between his legs before standing up behind him and wasting no time with plunging her dagger into the opening of his armor, piercing his lungs and heart in the process. Blood spurt and then gushed from the wound covering her arm as she ripped the dagger out of the man before he fell to the ground gasping. She stood over him, catching her breath but only for a moment before quickly making her way to Bull and the giant behemoth he was fighting. She hated great axes, she honestly did. A man having at least a foot and a half and an additional one hundred and fifty pounds equipped with plate armor was bad enough but using a regular weapon he was easy enough to take down. Great axes seemed to carry anyone on whichever direction they wanted given the right momentum and angle; Raven was lucky she dropped to the ground when she did as the idiot man started swinging. With a glance to Bull who jumped back and out of range she quickly rolled out of range alongside him. He was seriously starting to piss her off.

"This guy is a bitch." Raven ground out between breathes, "How do you wanna take him?"

"His stamina shouldn't last much longer swinging that damn thing. Once he stops I'll distract him from the front while you take him from behind." She nodded and continued to dodge alongside Bull. There wasn't much left in her. She was exhausted even though she shouldn't be. She'd faced a lot more than smugglers, bears, demons, and warriors before. How was it suddenly taking such a toll on her? Whatever the reason was she needed to end this fight and quickly.

"Solas, Christopher!" She yelled to get the mages attention, ignoring the way her chest tightened, "Zap him, now!" With her eyes focused on the big man she didn't see who complied with her wishes, only the sudden lightning bolt coming from the sky and hitting the man as he had the axe over his head. The bolt left him stunned and she wasted no time running behind him and pouncing onto his back with her dagger in hand. By the time the man had started to come out of shock it was too late and she could hardly hear Bull's voice over the sound of pierced flesh, blood spilling, and the sound of choking. That's essentially what the man was doing, Raven thought happily as she braced herself for impact when the large warrior fell to his knees and then fell forward onto his stomach. With a whispered curse she yanked the dagger from her victim and stood up, looking away as blood continued to pour from his wound staining the sand reminding her of red wine on a white carpet. In the midst of catching her breath she didn't noticed the other party members gather around her. She felt dizzy, her eyesight darkened.

"Something is wrong. She's warm and sick." Cole was suddenly closer than the others, his arm making its way around her waist to catch her just in time as her knees buckled. She felt sick but he wouldn't let go of her even as she turned away and emptied what little contents she had in her stomach onto the ground.

"We need to get her back to camp. Now! Bull, carry her." It was Christopher who gave the order. Raven whimpered and tries to push against the hands on her body, tears flooding her eyes as she tried to object. Her body was burning but she never got the chance to tell them before her vision blacked completely and her body went limp. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel I should apologize to those who frequently read my stories. These last few months have been beyond hectic. I now live in a new place, have a new and amazing job, and even a new boyfriend - he's amazing too, if not a little snarky. 
> 
> Thank you for being so patient. I promise I won't go so long between chapters again.


	28. Extreme Measures

  
"Shit, Boss! She's still not moving." Bull yelled out, doing his best to remain calm as they rushed, as a group, back to the campsite. She was burning up, a sheen of sweat reflected the light coming from between the trees, and Bull couldn't ever remember seeing her so pale before or remember how her veins stood out so much, almost like Varric traced over them with bright red and blue ink to stand out against the alabaster shade of her skin.

"What do you think this is?" The Seeker asked, desperate and impatient for answers or at least someone to voice any possibilities.

"I'll have to examine her once we get back to camp. Bull, I'll need you to take off her armor once we get there." Solas was quick in his response, letting unmistakable worry pass through the calm mask he normally wore.

"No, we need to get her back to Skyhold where there are healers and more resources." Christopher urged as calmly as he could while stealing a glance at one of his closest friends and the way she looked so sick and helpless. The stark color of her veins against snow white skin reminded him of the fate his friends had suffered at the hands of the red lyrium; what Bull and Cassandra had anyway. Raven wasn't affected in that future and he prayed to Andraste and any Maker or God out there that whatever was affecting her at that moment had nothing to do with lyrium of any kind.

"I can take her." Cole spoke for the first time, surprised he could, even though he remained right beside Bull, keeping up better than the others. He wanted, needed to help her but he didn't know how. Her song was different, muted, distorted. Why wouldn't she listen to him when he'd asked her that morning to stay behind and rest? The campsite was in view now, growing closer, and Solas took it upon himself to fade step the remaining distance to save as much time as they possibly could.

"I don't know if -" Christopher started but didn't get the chance to finish before Cole cut him off, not caring if it was considered rude in the manners and etiquette taught to him. Now wasn't the time. He would apologize later.

"I'm taking her. I know her body and her song better than anyone else. She needs me and I can't be apart from her. I won't." Cole argued and the desperate finality in his voice caused Christopher to simply nod because he couldn't think to do anything else, his mind still reeling from the most recent events. She had been fine, if not a little tired, that morning. He remembered taking notice of her pale skin and the dark circles under her eyes but it was a familiar sight. Not one he'd seen lately but he knew there were nights at Skyhold and on missions with them when she didn't sleep very well and had to wake early for training or other reasons. Cole had confirmed she was restless during the night but hadn't commented on anything else until moments before her body had gone limp and Christopher had to wonder if the young man had known something else and didn't say because Raven enjoyed her privacy or if he truly didn't see anything till it reached the point it had.

In the short time it took for them to reach camp it was clear that Solas didn't waste a second making the urgency of the situation known. Two horses were ready to go, a bag of food and potions were packed, and more than a couple Inquisition scouts were rushing around panicked, even more so when they saw Raven in Bull's arms. It seemed like both seconds and hours had passed before Solas mounted his horse and Bull, as gently as he could, lifted and readjusted Raven so she was seated and secured in front of the mage. Her head rested on his shoulder and Solas looked at Cole in surprise for a moment as he mounted the other horse. If anyone was to come back to Skyhold with him he thought it would be Christopher.

"I'll keep the magic flowing into her as we ride. If we're lucky it will help bring her fever down but we need to ride fast." He explained and Cole nodded before leaning forward and whispering some urgent and encouraging words to his horse, they liked that, before taking off in a fast, sudden gallop beside his friend, his eyes never leaving Raven.

 

By the start of the forth day they were both exhausted but closing in on Skyhold. Cole always loved the way the sun rose from behind the massive fortress but that morning he didn't care. The last few days had been nonstop riding and racing past trails, through cities, and even outracing those that wished to hurt them and the healing magic Solas constantly pushed into her hardly helped and he was running dangerously low on lyrium potions. There was a brief moment he could've sworn she looked over to him, beautiful eyes open before letting them close again but she still had her fever and the color of her soft skin now reminded him of paper instead of porcelain. The sinking knot in his gut only grew bigger as well and he wondered if Solas felt the same. As they grew closer at an even more rapid pace than before the horn signaled their arrival and the gates managed to open just in time. The horses came to an abrupt stop in the courtyard as Solas and Cole pulled on the reins. Once they'd calmed was when Blackwell and Cullen rushed forward to lift Raven from her spot in front of Solas, her head fell back against Cullen's chest and on any other day and in any other situation Cole would've been jealous of the larger blond man but time was important. Instead he, along with Solas, quickly slid from their mounts and followed the large group of healers, Cullen, Josephine, Leliana, Blackwall, and even Varric who stayed behind and out of the way but close enough to hear what was being said.

"The note from the Inquisitor said she fell unconscious and is running a fever but nothing about her skin looking like that. Do you know what it's from?" Josephine asked, her accent even thicker than usual.

"No. We were fighting -" Solas began but Cole cut him off.

"She was suddenly so angry as she fought the warrior with the great axe. ' _Only bitches use great axes_.' she said. Then she was burning, dizzy, nauseous, glad she didn't eat much that morning or the night before when she got sick. So hard to breathe." Cole trailed off, his hands trembling as he fought them to keep from reaching out and touching her, brushing her long tangled hair from her face. The tie had come loose during the fighting and the ride and he knew once she woke brushing it would be painful. It was always painful, she lacked the patience to brush it slowly so it didn't hurt and Cole desperately wanted to do that for her, to save her from any more pain that he possibly could. It wasn't until the an hour after the healers had brought her into the infirmary and closed the door leaving Cole, Varric, Blackwall, Cullen, Leliana, Josephine, and Solas outside that anyone said anything.

"Her skin," it was Varric that finally spoke. As the healers had brought her into the infirmary, he had finally seen a glimpse of her that wasn't a mass of red hair, "she couldn't have been exposed to red lyrium."

"I thought red lyrium took a while to make a person look like that?" It was Blackwall who spoke. He wasn't arguing, because he didn't know however Varric was too in thought to notice the difference.

"Red lyrium can do all kinds of weird shit and we're still studying its effects. It's a long process and I make sure no one is in it's presence for more than an hour or so at a time. What about it, Chuckles?" Varric wasn't in the mood to debate what affects red lyrium could have when one of his closest friends was showing some of the few signs he'd seen.

"The morning before she became sick we were in one of the mines. She was slammed into a vein so hard a large part of it splintered." Solas answered and Cole remembered the sickening crack of her small body hitting the hard lyrium followed by what he could only compare the sound to as glass shattering and her crying out in pain. He had suddenly become so worried and angry that the monster who had dared to put his hands on her hadn't stood a chance, "But she said she was fine. She said she hurt, like I imagine anyone would after a blow like that so I gave her a potion and used some magic to heal her. After that she continued to fight but didn't eat much that night, like Cole said. You don't think..." The elf didn't have time to finish, he didn't have to if the suddenly very pale face of Varric was anything to go by as he muttered a curse that would have Iron Bull and Raven approve before slamming open the infirmary door startling the healers as well as Josephine and even making Cullen curse.

"Get out! She's not decent!" Varric could only assume was the head healer by her silly white hat shouted as he came forward completely ignoring the state of undress Ginger was in. Out of the corner of his eye he did notice that the Qunari armor she had been in when she arrived had been expertly removed and was on a chair in the corner. That didn't stop his attention from remaining on the old woman.

"Seriously? It's Curly you need to worry about when it comes to that shit. I know what's wrong. Chuckles, get in here!" The dwarf wasted no time with their bullshit or replying to Curly's protest as he began removing his duster and putting it on one of the chairs before rolling up his sleeves. When he turned around he saw that only two healers were still attending to his Ginger while the others stared at him with their eyes wide. They didn't need to be in the infirmary. The less people the better. "All but the two attending to her right now get the hell out."

"You can't talk to -"

"Lady I can talk to you however I want. Do you know who I am or who _she_ is? Even the Inquisitor has declared that her safety is the most important thing here and I know what's wrong with her. Get out now."

"I'm sorry, Ladies, but Master Tethras -" Solas tried to speak but stopped when the woman with the pointy hat glared at him and left the infirmary followed by the four others who stood staring at him, "I don't understand why people continue to like you. That behavior wasn't necessary."

"It got them out of here so we can do what we need to do. Curly! I'm going to need you and Cole in here too." Varric turned to the remaining ladies last, thankful to see one of the healers that remained was the one in charge of Ginger's recovery when she was brought to Haven. He addressed her specifically, "You know Ginger enough to know that were her friends and want nothing bad to happen to her but I'm going to need you to flip her over onto her stomach. Keep her covered from the waist down. Curly, I want you to to tie her hair to the side away from her back and keep her pressed down to the bed."

"You seriously think she'll move, more or less, struggle?" Cullen didn't hide his bewilderment from showing, "She's barely alive." He could hardly bring himself to look at her in the current state she was in, let alone touch her. She'd had some rough times in the last year or so but none of them managed to make her look so small, frail, and even broken like she did lying in that bed at that moment not five paces from him. He remembered her finally accepting the loss of her family and everything she had before somehow appearing in the outskirts of Haven; the harsh words spoken because of the misunderstandings not only he was guilty of, the anger and hatred he could feel flowing off her, the way her body moved with a truly dangerous and deadly grace as she fought the one person who allowed her to finally freely feel without question, and then the moment when full acceptance hit and she could do nothing but grieve and try to pick up those shattered pieces. He remembered pacing his office that night and the night after, unable to sleep and unable to think of anything or anyone but her and all the horrible things he'd said and done without thinking or even caring about how she truly felt. He remembered being so jealous of Cole for being the one she chose to rely on and open up to; he knew he made mistakes but couldn't she see that he cared for her as well? That he would give anything to be the one she needed and wanted? And finally, he remembered the small, pale ghost of the girl that appeared to them after days of silence. Her clothes were so loose on her, those lovely green eyes that reminded him of the Emerald Graves were dull and hardly responsive, and she was so quiet. It had taken months for her to come back as much as she had and surprisingly enough it had calmed her down to the point where they were able to talk without fighting, train recruits together without overstepping bounds, and even play chess together. If all that could happen then she could definitely come back again. She could come back from anything. She had to.

"Why would she struggle? What do you plan on doing to her?" Josephine suddenly spoke up for the first time since Varric took control. Varric ignored her. His attention was on Curly.

"Fine," The dwarf bit out causing Cullen to break free from his train of thought, "Cole I'm gonna need you to do Curly's job then." Looking at Cole's terrified expression he managed to soften his features, of course he'd be terrified, "She needs you right now, Kid. Just like you need her." With those words Cole nodded, the fear suddenly gone from his eyes, and without protest he quickly made his way toward the bed and to her, something Curly couldn't be bothered to do, Varric thought and he couldn't help but shoot a glare at the man then watch as Cole quickly stripped himself of his hat, weapons, harness, and armor leaving him in a pair of black breeches and a tan shirt waiting patiently for the women to finish flipping her over and adjusting the blanket to cover any indecency from the male eyes.

"What do you need me to do?" Blackwall spoke up from his place near the door.

"Master Tethras, there are strange bumps on her skin. These weren't here when she came in before she left." It was Ginger's healer that spoke catching everyone's attention before Varric could answer the bushy faced Warden.

"You're sure?" He asked and received a nod from her in return.

"I'm positive. When she came in it was because The Bull was a little rough during their sparring match. I helped massage a salve into her back and shoulders. They were fine when she left." As she explained she moved to make room for Cole and watched as he kneeled down, whispering sweet words to her while letting his fingers lightly trail along the small, pale expanse of her back. Her skin was warm and clammy because of the fever but was still smooth despite small bumps peppered under her skin that seemed to burn warmer and cause her moan in discomfort as he pressed against them. Those certainly weren't there the night he'd allowed himself to kiss and touch her again. If it really was an injury from the red lyrium vein how had he not noticed? She relied on him and looked to him for comfort, she was his to protect and cherish even though that was a conversation that had yet to happen between them, if it ever did. How could he fail her so greatly? As he began to move away he was stopped when her hand slowly came forward and feebly grasped one of his. She knew he was there, he could feel it.

"Varric," Cole said quietly when he'd finally found his voice, "these weren't here the night before we went to the mine."

"And how would you know?" It was Cullen who spoke and his question went unanswered by the man it was directed to, Varric, and Solas.

"We need to get them out." As Varric spoke he grabbed the materials he needed; there was plenty of alcohol, health potions, a sleeping drought, and one of the blades he kept on him in case of emergencies.

"And how in Andraste's name do you plan to do that, Varric?" Ruffles' voice rose with alarm and immediately he knew what Blackwall could do if the situation was called for.

"Ruffles, with Cole, Chuckles, and Blackwall's help I'm going to cut them out. It's the only option unless you want her to die." He spoke as calmly as he could while preparing for a battle now that his plan of action, the only plan anyone had, was out in the air; if not her than someone else. After a moment of waiting and no one saying anything he was surprised but continued talking, "I'll let you know when I'm done." He waited again for an argument once she realized that he was asking her to leave. Again, it never came. She wanted to, he could see she was scared, angry, and wanted to protest because Raven was her friend and an asset to the Inquisition and she wanted to be there. Varric was grateful when she simply sighed, gave a polite nod, and gracefully made her way out of the infirmary with Leliana following behind. She hadn't said a word throughout the events that had taken place, just observed. Knowing her he would hear about it later when all was said and done.

"I'm not leaving." Cullen declared angrily when the two women were no longer in the infirmary, "There has to be something I can do. I can't just leave her." He would be the one to argue, Varric thought while resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he turned to face the room, and the people in it, with the needed materials in hand. Cole was still kneeling on the floor beside her, his fingers running gently through her long hair. Chuckles was the next closest, sometime during the exchanges he'd moved to stand behind Cole to observe at a better angle. The healer he was more familiar with was walking towards a small closet to grab towels, something Varric hadn't thought of, while the other hurried to drag a table close to the bed with Blackwalls assistance.

"Then stay out of the way. Cole, I want you to do something and I think it'll make her more comfortable -" He started to say but stopped when Cole nodded and quickly stood up to grab another pillow from the bed next to theirs. He watched as the young man gently moved and maneuvered himself so he was lying on the bed, braced against pillows, with a portion of her still decently covered body lying on top of his exactly as Varric was going to request. He'd be able to keep hold of her to prevent movement that way and, if able, she'd be able to grab onto him as well.

"She's too tired and it hurts to move but she's been in and out of sleep for a while. I tried to move away but she grabbed my hand." He explained. She wanted him close, it was sweet in a romance serial kind of way. Varric simply nodded and moved to put the things on the table before pulling out his dagger.

 

Three hours later Varric finally placed his bloodied dagger and another bloody towel onto the table with a small sigh of relief. The tension in the room was thick; worry, anger, fear, and uncertainty were only some of the emotions he and the others felt. Twenty-two red lyrium shards were cut out of her back. Solas was under the theory that with her adrenaline so high during the fight she didn't notice, the armor and her hair had covered them, and with the healing bonuses, spells, and potions she took immediately afterwards she had healed those incisions before they were even realized. She woke up three shards in, crying out and wrapping her arms around Cole at first but soon had to be held down by Blackwall and Curly until they could give her something for the pain. Solas stood by with towels during each incision and then adding a concoction of elfroot and dawn lotus to them once the shards were out. Ginger wasn't moving but he could see her back slowly rise and fall with each breath she took and Cole had managed to tie her hair up so it wasn't everywhere. She was still out, her head lying on his bare stomach. During the struggle he'd been covered in blood along with the blankets she was still wrapped in and everyone that helped restrain her.

"What do we do now?" It was Curly who spoke, his voice coarser than usual.

"We tell Ruffles and Nightingale. Then we wait and see." He replied and wished it could be that simple. The shards were out but there was no telling what lasting effects it would have on her, if any.

"I need a bath." Blackwall was the one to say it and whether it was exhaustion or the most obvious thing one could say from a man covered in his friends blood, Varric and Solas both let out a slight chuckle. Even Curly was a mess.

"I think we all do. I will stay with Cole and Raven for now in case something occurs." It was already assumed that Cole would be going nowhere while the young girl was lying asleep on top of him with one hand under his torso and the other on his chest. She looked comfortable compared to the agony she'd been in before; oblivious to the blood, sweat, and healing mixture Solas had used covering her skin. When she woke, and it better be when, Varric thought to himself, she would hate the mess.

"I'll wait another hour before moving her and switching the bedding." One of the healers told him quietly as he turned to leave, a nod was the only response he gave before exiting the infirmary. It was bright, hardly midday if the sun was anything to go by. How had so much happened and it wasn't even lunch time? He was exhausted and there was still so much he had to do today between bills, managing his various companies and networks, and dealing with Ruffles. Varric was so caught up in his to-do list that it wasn't till he was halfway to the stairs leading to the main hall that he realized that Curly was walking with him and that people were staring at them both.

"What?" Varric wasn't in the mood to be charming, especially towards the Commander. He was still confused and pissed off at the events that occurred with the former Templar before he took a knife to his friends back. All he asked the man to do was make sure she didn't move but he wouldn't even look at her. Looking back, Varric was actually glad he had Cole take that position instead. He whispered to her the entire time, even after she was given the sleeping drought. He rubbed her arms, ran fingers through her hair, and didn't so much as flinch when she'd grabbed onto him leaving red marks in the process. She probably wouldn't have been so calm if it had been Curly and chances were he wouldn't have really been as supportive as the Kid.

"We need to debrief the others. By now I imagine a good portion of Skyhold has heard about Raven and what's happened." Cullen explained while they took the stairs together. Varric didn't reply and the walk to the war room was silent on their part even as they were approached by an Orlesian Noble that neither man could or care to remember the name of. As they entered the private hallway leading to and past Josephine's office they could already hear female voices beyond the heavy war room doors and Josephine was the one to approach them as they entered only to suddenly stop when she viewed their state. Varric was are of the blood that still covered his hands, shirt, and parts of his face but he wondered if Curly knew of the stains still in his hair and not just on his hands or tunic. He's taken his fur pauldrons and armor off after Varric hadn't kicked him out of the infirmary.

"She's alive?" Josephine asked and Varric slowly nodded. An instant visible wave of relief swept over the beautiful woman's features, "Thank the Maker."

"The Maker had nothing to do with that. I ended up cutting out twenty-two red lyrium shards. She's asleep in the infirmary now. Cole, Chuckles, and some of the healers are still with her." Varric explained her status and though his attention was on Ruffles he could see Nightingale move from her place across the room.

"Good..." Josephine sounded exhausted as she spoke, "That's good. We received a raven from the Inquisitor; the red lyrium smugglers are taken care of for you, Cullen, Fairbanks is now an ally, and they're on their way back here. Two days out at most."

"Do you know if the red lyrium will have any lasting effects on Raven?" It was Nightingale that asked and as Varric looked directly at her he could see the worry she was trying desperately to hide. She was good, damn great even, but he'd been around enough people to see what they didn't want others to see. Why she was hiding it in the privacy of the war room he had no idea. Raven was her friend. She was respected and loved by most people in the Inquisition, even Hawke still asked about her when those letters came.

"There's no telling for sure. We'll have to wait till she wakes up and even then there's no guarantee any abilities or effects will show right away." He explained while bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. His head was starting to hurt.

"Do you have any idea how this could've possibly happened?" Nightingale was talking about the extent of damage done.

"Raven's armor had some extensive heal bonuses to it. Solas has a theory that the armor, her own adrenaline, and the magic he used to heal her is what caused the embedded shards to go unnoticed and untreated." Curly explained and Varric was happy to not have to explain.

"You took a large risk doing what you did and you're lucky Solas and Cole were with you." Nightingale was addressing him again and as much as he wanted to roll his eyes he didn't. She was right to point out how risky his choice had been even though it was something he knew the very second he saw her skin. She was also on point about Chuckles and the Kid. They knew how to handle her and to be there for her in ways that the healers weren't experienced with. They wouldn't have said the right comforting words to her or held her so gently the way Cole had and Chuckles knew more about healing than any healer he'd ever met and that included Blondie.

"I am. Something tells me things wouldn't have ended well." Thankfully the three advisors eventually started talking contingency plans and what was to happened depending on Raven when she woke allowing Varric to slip from the room with nothing more than a look from the redhead.

 

_The sound of flowing water and the chirping of birds were loud in her ears. It reminded her of the Templar encampment once the Templars were gone in the Hinterlands all over again but Raven had finished that quest so long ago. She remembered the way Christopher had looked at her and the way Cassandra questioned her when she took the time to harvest the royal elfroot, iron, and even the ironbark from its hidden place by the waterfall. Or perhaps it was more like the Emerald Graves. She loved that waterfall; it was away from viewing eyes and allowed her to shower and relax. There were a couple times in the past months that she dreamt she'd taken Cole to that waterfall at sunset and finally allowed him to see the want she felt that she'd kept hidden so deep that even he couldn't see it. It was one of the many advantages she had from reading his book and playing the game so many times. It wasn't that she liked hiding things from him, it had always felt so wrong when he'd been nothing but protective and caring for her from the moment they first met to... to..._

_"So this is where you've been." Raven opened her eyes and looked around, surprised to see nothing but green. Had she been asleep? That had to be it; she wouldn't have forgotten being in the Emerald Graves otherwise. The grass she was laying on not far from the waterfall from her dreams that she loved so much not far from her at all. No wonder the sound of water was so loud. With a small smile she turned to look at Solas who she didn't even hear approach._

_"Of course. Relaxing is nice and this is such a beautiful place." She replied and when he sat down in the grass next to her she turned on her side to face him, "You know, I've always been jealous that you can walk around in only wrappings. I didn't notice it till the scene with you and the Inquisitor after Haven in my first playthrough but every time I can't help but think, 'damn, he's a lucky bastard.'" They both chuckled and Raven looked down at her bare feet. She didn't remember taking off her boots but it was only natural with how soft the grass felt._

_"How long have you been here, Da'len?" Solas asked and she looked back at him, laying her head on her arm instead of bracing it at an odd angle._

_"A couple hours, maybe. When I played the games I always wanted to come to this spot and lay in the grass, bathe and swim in that waterfall, and simply relax while being surrounded by nature. There's still so much to do in the coming months." She said with a content sigh, "I still have no idea how we're going to do it all. It was easier in the game."_

_"So you still plan to be with us then?" Solas asked while continuing to stare at the young woman beside him. While his feelings toward her weren't like Coles or Cullen's he couldn't deny the Wild type of beauty she possessed lying there in a flowing blue skirt and cream colored tunic, red hair fanned out over the grass. Her pale skin was back to its soft porcelain shade and she looked truly happy and unburdened by the world. As much as they needed her, and that was why Solas had spent the last three nights searching for her in the fade, he was happy she was able to relax for a while instead of being in pain. He worries about that after Varric had cut the red lyrium out of her and all that she'd endured. That had been six days ago and while she'd been moved to the comfort of her room where the bed was softer and the overall temperature was cooler, she had yet to wake._

_"For the time being. I still want to come with you when all this is over though. Once Corypheus is defeated there's no reason for me to stay." She was able to say it so casually, "And I believe there's a way to bring down the veil and still keep this world. There has to be." That was something they'd never talked about before and Solas couldn't help but stare at her, shocked, as she spoke so casually about it._

_"The Inquisition won't need you when this is over?" He asked and she only shrugged._

_"Depending on the character and who they romance there's a few options. In the standard game it ends with the Inquisitor with their significant other looking over their balcony in Skyhold. If Lavellan was the Inquisitor and romanced you she'd be alone. There's extra content that actually picks up two years later where the Inquisition is in danger of being disbanded because nobles claim their power is too great or they're no longer needed, something like that." She explained half-heartedly with a lopsided shrug._

_"And what happens?" Solas asked, eager to know more. It wasn't often she spoke of their future._

_"Qunari attack in Val Royeaux looking for you, a servant of the Dread Wolf." She replied with a smile and the a small giggle because she knew the truth, "a lot goes on but in the end Christopher will confront you, you'll reveal who you really are and your intentions, and either he'll work to destroy you or save you. I always vowed to save you, if that means anything." She said, all humor gone from her voice and he was truly touched._

_"Why?" It was a simple question but knowing her the answer would be anything but._

_"Because I believe you're a good person and I care about you. There's a lot of speculation you'll be the villain whenever EA and Bioware release the forth game. I wonder if that's happened yet." The last part was more of a thought and Solas knew that._

_"And if you were to come with me," He started but it wasn't like he was serious, "what about Cole and the others?"_

_"That's why I want to help. I love Cole, more than I possibly could've imagined and maybe someday I'll allow him to know that. I love the others too. I want them safe and your plan jeopardizes that. That's why there has to be another way, especially with what happens after Corypheus is defeated." Again, she was so forthcoming. Solas could feel her relief as she spoke, it was a lot to keep inside to herself. He knew how she felt._

_"What happens, Da'len?" He asked and could only stare into her eyes as she looked up at him._

_"There's a debate on whether you kill Mythal or whether she gives you what's left of her power willingly before she dies. Either way you become a very powerful badass. I'm looking forward to meeting her." She spoke of Mythal like she was an old friend._

_"And you know you'll meet her, for certain?" Solas asked though he knew better._

_"I do. I have my own plans for the events that have yet to come. You won't like some but, as you know by now, I have a reason for everything I do."_

_"You are truly remarkable." He said with a smile and meant every word but he needed her to come back, to wake up. "It always surprises me how easy it is for people to talk in the fade." He said gently, watching her closely to see if she understood his meaning. She was silent for a moment, contemplating his words before looking around._

_"Are we in the fade?" She asked just to make sure. Usually she had a pretty good idea._

_"Yes. You've actually been asleep for about a week and in and out of consciousness for about four days before that." With those words spoken Raven suddenly sat up from her spot in the grass. The smugglers, the red Templars, fighting and feeling so angry and sick. Then pain had been so consuming on reflex she brought a hand to her back._

_"What happened?" She asked him quietly. There wasn't any pain now but suddenly her stomach felt tight and she was on edge again._

_"During a fight you were slammed into a red lyrium vein and some shards embedded themselves into your skin. We didn't notice till after you became sick and Cole and I brought you back to Skyhold." There was no way that could be possible, Raven thought while standing. Solas was up in an instant but she wasn't going to run._

_"How in the hell does that happen? Wouldn't I have noticed something like that?" She asked, clearly stressed and rightfully so. She had no memory of being sick. She was calm, comfortable, and happy before only to find out that she was sick, sick enough to bring back to Skyhold no less. How in the hell could she be so careless?_

_"Between the adrenaline coursing through your body, those heal bonuses Bull put in your armor, and my magic you wouldn't have felt much. At least that's what we've come up with. They're out, the shards. All twenty-two." Raven felt her breath catch. Twenty-two red lyrium shards? How was she alive? Would she become a monster like the Red Templars?_

_Solas stared at her, almost afraid to say anything else. She suddenly looked so frightened and upset, not at all like the young girl he'd approached only a short time ago but she needed to know and it was only fair she find out before waking up and having to deal with more people than she would undoubtedly be comfortable around in her vulnerable state. They needed her, Cole hadn't left her side in days. When he'd left the man earlier to go back to his room and try again to find her Cole was still in her bed with her curled up in his arms humming notes to a song he wasn't familiar with. After days of watching him treat her like she was the most precious thing in the world Solas knew what he had to do. If not for Raven's safety then because she was needed by so many people. For a while after Coles revelation in the Graves Solas wasn't sure if it was Raven's doing or if Cole had come to those feelings on his own but walking in on him holding her the way he was and had been since they'd arrived at Skyhold and the procedure had changed everything. Cole was like a son, of sorts, and he was suffering. Solas had to do something._

_"I remember, I think. Waking up for a while in so much pain, Cole whispering to me and then hands holding me down. Then sleep." It was like remembering a bad dream, she thought, finally looking at Solas again, "And I'm alive? I'm okay?"_

_"You are alive and your skin is back to the way it was. Your back didn't scar. Varric and I were extremely careful about that. We don't know about the rest of you though. But we need you back. You need to wake up." She nodded in thought to his words and then in the next moment she had closed the distance between them, wrapping her warm arms around him in a hug. Even in the fade her hair smelled of lavender and Solas felt compelled to return her kind gesture._

_"I'm scared," she whispered and he knew it was the truth, "if that red lyrium changed me..."_

_"You're still alive, dreaming, and showing me the young woman I've known you to be. You'll be okay and we, everyone and myself, will be there for you no matter what happens. You have my promise." He was gentle in his words and actions as he pulled away, his hands moving to hold hers. In that moment it was easy to remember that she was still so young and had been thrown into so much._

_"I expect to see you in the real world later." She replied before closing her eyes one last time._

  
The smell of elfroot, dawn lotus, and something significantly more intoxicating were the first things to come to her as she felt herself slowly come back to reality. She was warm but she wasn't covered, comfortable even though she was confined by two hands and arms. A soft voice played over what would've been silence. It was his voice. Cole, so sweet and caring. Her heart ached and she wanted to see him but her eyes felt so heavy.

"You need to come back." He whispered, "I can feel your breaths becoming stronger. Come back for me if for nothing else." His voice was thick, laced with so much sorrow, and then she felt his hair brush against her face. He was holding her so close, she realized. Her stomach started to feel funny like it usually did when he was so close and she to open her mouth to speak, to say anything to comfort him, to tell him that she was back, but all she did was cough like the graceful idiot she was. It seemed to get her point across though because she was suddenly pulled away from the comfortable warmth. "Raven?" An arm pulled itself from her back and a second later she felt his warm hand on her cheek. She had to see him. She needed to. Opening her eyes in that moment was harder than she would ever admit but seeing him looking down at her in the dim candlelight was worth the effort. Now she just needed water, tea, anything to make her mouth not so dry. She was thirsty. He seemed to have thought of that because a moment later the rim of a glass was at her lips and he was requesting her to drink. She sputtered at first but the water felt good in the mouth and going down. She kept her eyes on him the entire time.

"You've been with me." Her voice was hoarse when she finally found the energy to speak. She wasn't surprised that he'd been there with her. After Haven, that gross slightly destructive mourning period she went through, and everything else she was anything but surprised.

"Of course I have." He replied while leaning down and lightly kissing her forehead. She smiled. She couldn't help it, "Everyone's been here at least once. Solas and Varric come everyday. So does Cullen. He hates how I sit with you and stay here when everyone else leaves." Even in the dim light his eyes were so blue.

"You mean holding me like this?" She asked and took another few sips of water when Cole brought the glass to her mouth again. He was smiling though.

"It feels right, complete even, holding you this way. We changed the position twice and even asleep it was easy to tell you didn't like it." He murmured, recalling the way her hands had closed around his wrists or curled in his shirt. They were quiet for a while; every couple minutes he'd bring the glass of water to her lips and she'd drink. When it was empty she slowly moved off his lap and onto the rest of the bed so he could put it on the table and make himself more comfortable. Though the movements were small she bit back a groan as the muscles in her arms and back screamed in protest. She looked at Cole as he stood up from the bed and faced her.

"Everything alright?" She asked and he smiled down at her.

"You need to eat and everyone needs to know you're awake." Just as he finished that sentence there was a knock on the door. Raven watched as Solas entered along with Varric and Christopher. Cole looked back at her for a moment before leaving, closing the heavy wooden door and leaving her alone with the three men who just continued to stare at her in silence making her feel like she was on display. She'd probably scared the hell out of them all this past week or so and that thought didn't sit well. She hated making people worry.

"Good morning, everyone." She greeted, not even knowing if was morning at all, while making no attempt to change her position. Looking down at herself she sighed in relief when she saw she at least had on a pair of underwear and one of her tank tops. No bra though, she realized, and was glad Josephine didn't come with them.

"How are you feeling, _Da'len_?" Solas was the one to speak first. It was one thing for them to talk in the fade where she was fine but in the physical world there was no telling what side effects would remain. He was glad when she looked up at him but hated the sadness he could see in her expression.

"Tired. Sore. Really sore if I'm to be completely honest. I really want a bath." She kept her words short and simple.

"I'll have a bathtub and water brought up for you." Christopher immediately insisted and was glad when she didn't argue or object. "If there's anything you need or want please don't hesitate to ask. We will get you anything you want and need."

"That would be great. Thank you. I'm sorry I worried all of you. You have to know that had I known what happened... Solas told me how I got sick in the fade. I swear I would've told you, Christopher." She wasn't aware that her body started to tremble or that she had started to cry until it became hard to breathe. In an instant Solas was seated on the bed beside her.

"Ginger, there's no reason to apologize or to be upset. You did nothing wrong and, honestly, all that matters is that you're alive." Varric spoke slowly and in the calmest voice he could manage. He hated seeing ladies cry but seeing Ginger so upset, especially when she didn't need to be, made his chest hurt.

"Varric is right," Christopher spoke while watching Solas gently take her hand into his. Seconds later he could feel and see the healing magic gently flow from his body into hers, "There's no need to blame yourself. None of us are blaming you. Though as Inquisitor I am ordering you to take it easy until we know if there's any lasting symptoms." She sniffled and nodded, "With Cullen's help you can still train the troops but I don't want you pushing yourself."

"That's fine." She agreed and focused on the magic coursing through her body. It felt fantastic but also different than before. There was a slight hum to it, "Has your magic always made that noise, Solas?" It was a simple question, she didn't expect him to pull his hand away like he'd been burned. The humming stopped the second he broke contact and she found herself missing it.

"You can hear the magic?" He sounded surprised.

"I can feel it too, more than before." She told him quietly, "Is that bad?"

"With your exposure to the red lyrium I'm not surprised that you're more sensitive to the feel of magic than you were before. It's not a bad thing." The elf replied only earning a nod from her in return. Despite the soreness in her muscles she was restless. The cool mountain air would feel nice against her skin; she was still warm. Maybe she could convince Cole to escort her around Skyhold or let her keep her bedroom door open.

"Besides the tub is there anything else we can get you?" Varric asked as her door opened and closed behind the two men still standing and Raven smiled when Cole appeared from behind them with a large platter of food. The sight of it caused her stomach to growl with a hunger she didn't know she had but to be polite she turned her attention back to Varric and simply shook her head. They would talk later when there were less people around. He had questions, she could tell by the way he looked at her, personal questions perhaps not suitable for the company they were currently in.

"If you want to save me a seat at our table in the main hall I won't complain. For now, though, I think Cole has everything taken care of." He smiled at her as she looked at him again, those damn flips in her stomach returning.

"Consider it done. We'll see you tomorrow." Varric said with a smile as he watched the way she watched Cole. We're the others aware of the way her cheeks flushed in the dim light or the way he looked at her like she was the only one who mattered.

When the door was finally closed and they were alone Cole moved to help her adjust her position to get out of bed but her hand stopped him. She was always so stubborn, he thought as she slowly made her way to the edge of the bed and let her feet drop down one after the other to rest and settle against the floor. With nothing more than a soft grunt she managed to stand by bracing her hands against her thighs and using what little strength she had to press against them till her body left the bed. By the time it was over she was breathing heavy and Cole wanted to go to her in the chance that her knees would buckle but she smiled when she looked at him and he could only do the same.

"So stubborn." He said softly though he knew she heard from the small chuckle she gave him.

"Just getting my bearings." Her voice was just as soft, "It's also very warm in here." With her still standing in her spot, not moving, Cole quickly made his way to the door and used a small rock to keep it open a crack. By the time he turned around she had made her way to her dresser and was going through her clothes.

"Sera has been the one changing your clothes everyday. She likes dressing you in so little." He explained though she didn't looked at him, "It's not decent for me to change your clothes but she lets me choose the colors and shirts sometimes. I also brush your hair so it doesn't hurt." She listened to him as she finally settled on a new pair of underwear and a black tank top. She was warm, sweaty, and desperately wanted to feel clean again.

"So it's okay for Sera, our mischievous little lesbian, to strip me naked and dress me everyday and not you? I'm going to have to talk to the idiot responsible for this logic." She glanced back at him with a smile before slowly making her way back to the bed with her new clothes in hand.

"They worry because of our... they know we were close." He wasn't sure how to approach her about everyone talking about how close they had become. With her just waking up and all the stress her mind and body had been through the last thing he wanted to do was upset her more than she most likely already was. He had failed to protect her in the Emerald Graves, she had to know that as much as he and everyone else did. No one said anything but it hadn't left his mind since the day she became sick. He knew her well enough to know that she needed to rest, to relax and become whole again before dealing with his failure and he would accept whatever punishment he was given.

She stared at him from her spot on the bed, not sure what she felt more of, anger or worry; the verbiage he used to describe their relationship as past tense caused her stomach to drop and the discomfort he wore on his face and body language at the mention of how connected they seemed to be bothered her more than she was willing to admit. Did it really matter how close they were, if that was what he still wanted? It wasn't anyone's business except theirs. "Does that bother you?" She finally asked while struggling not to look away from him. Her mind was suddenly in overdrive.

"No. It was the best part -"

"Why are you using words like 'were' and 'was'?" She didn't care that she cut him off, "Did something change while I was asleep that I'm not aware of?"

"You're acting like it doesn't matter again." The words slipped out before he could stop them, "Sick and hurting but not caring. I didn't protect you and you almost died but you don't care." His words caught her off guard. Where in the hell did that backward ass logic come from? He didn't move as she stood, holding back a groan, and made her way over to him.

"First of all, I don't know who the fuck put that idea in your head but you are wrong. That something like this happened to me and almost dying because of it is terrifying. Knowing that there's a very real possibility of that red lyrium changing something inside me only makes it worse so I do care. And second, I never asked you to protect me. All I've ever asked from you was honesty and to be my friend and you've done both in abundance. Protecting me isn't your job." To say she was angry was an understatement.

"Yes it is!" He argued, unable to hide the desperation in his voice. How could she not understand? "Protecting. Cherishing. _Loving_. Like Christopher when it comes to Cassandra and The Iron Bull with Dorian. Why can't you see that I failed to protect you?" His words were like a cinder block falling on her train of thought and the anger she felt.

"Cherishing and loving..." The words left her lips as barely a whisper. He loved her?

"Yes. You were mine to -" He began to explain but was cut off again as she closed the distance between them faster than he could've imagined her moving in her current state. When her hands found their place in his hair he didn't resist as she pulled him down to her level for a kiss so intense that almost all he could do was reach up and pull her closer. She was still so warm but at that moment it didn't matter as he moved his lips against hers and slid a hand up her back to rest on the back of her neck to hold her in place as he licked her bottom lip, requesting access. He wanted her to taste her, to feel her on top of him like before or even feel her small body under his. Somehow he managed to deepen the kiss when a muffled whimper left her.

"There is no 'were'." She murmured when she finally managed to pull away. Her heart was pounding, her body more alive than she could ever remember it being. He was so solid against her and the way he held her so close only made her want more, "No more past tense. I am yours, Cole."


	29. The Truth Comes Out

"Ginger, you're just in time! Food arrived less than ten minutes ago." Varric said happily once he saw her enter the main hall and start making her way to his table. His words caught Solas' attention; the elf was seated at Varric's table as well waiting patiently to see his friend. When she came into his natural view he allowed himself to relax a little, he and Varric both did. Away from the dim light of her room it was easy to see how much better she looked; Her skin wasn't as pale as it had been in the past week and the sharp contrast on her veins under her skin was gone. Both men noticed the way her shirt didn't cling to her usually small frame and instead hung loose and the breeches she wore rested lower on her hips than the last time they'd seen her in them. They would change that, or at least Varric was confident he could; the large platter in the center of the table had a good portion of her favorite foods and also some of theirs. Her favorite tea had also been served, courtesy of Cole, and Solas found upon trying it that it wasn't as bad as what he'd been given before. Both men watched her make herself comfortable in her usual chair, groaning as she brought her legs up to sit Indian style, as she called it, revealing that she was barefoot in the process. She smiled at them when she was done.   
  
"Varric in the two hours I've been awake this morning I've had a really large bowl of fruit, bacon, two pieces of buttered toast, and a glass of juice. Are you and Cole collaborating? Do you want me to get fat?" She asked while taking a piece of cheese from the platter making the dwarf chuckle.   
  
"Not at all. You look a lot better by the way." He replied in all seriousness. He especially liked the messy bun that helped contain her hair and keep it from spilling down her back, shoulders, and face and he had to wonder if she put it that way to hide the fact that she probably didn't brush her hair, which she'd done before, or because she truly felt like showing her face and how much healthier she looked to them.   
  
"Thanks. I feel it. I'm still sore but sleep and the bath last night helped a lot." She didn't look at him as she spoke, or Solas, for that matter. Instead she chose to focus on picking up another piece of cheese and a large purple grape while her pale cheeks slowly turned a beautiful rosy pink that traveled down to her neck. Varric smirked, absolutely loving the change in color while Solas continued to stare wondering what could've possibly caused such a reaction.   
  
"I'm sensing a story here," Varric prodded with a laugh, "I'm guessing the Kid's been a big help since you woke up." It wasn't a question. He didn't need to hear about what Cole had done to help her - he was the one of three to give the Kid advice - and he also didn't need to hear her tell him about the maid knocking and walking into Raven's room without permission to drop off the bathtub to see the girl in question pinned against the wall by the kid and locked in a passionate kiss. Varric was proud of him.   
  
"He's been very attentive." She managed, her smile dropping when she glanced up to see the look Varric was giving her, "You know don't you."  
  
"Obviously." He didn't bother trying to hide it. Solas looked between the two almost afraid to come to any conclusions or assume anything. They had both admitted to him how they felt about the other but with Cole still being so new to the human world and Raven... in his lifetime he'd seen so much pain and suffering but something about what they had to do to her, even though it was necessary to save her life, stuck with him. How far was she willing to push her body having just woken up? They didn't know if there were going to be any lasting effects from the red lyrium yet. What if Cole had accidentally hurt her?  
  
"Who else knows?" Solas was pulled from his train of thought by her question. Raven glanced at him before turning her attention back to Varric. She wasn't embarrassed, far from it, but the choice her and Cole made, finally making it official after months of feeling the way they had about one another was a large step for both of them. She didn't need their personal business spread through Skyhold and the Inner Circle grapevine before they were ready to reveal it themselves.   
  
"Just me and the maid. No need to worry, Ginger." He wouldn't tell her of the minor threats and blackmail he ended up having to resort to, to make sure she kept quiet. The last thing Ginger needed to deal with while recovering were people asking questions and making any unnecessary comments, especially Curly or Buttercup. He was happy for them, though. It was about damn time.   
  
"What exactly am I missing here, Da'len?" Solas finally asked, curiosity getting the better of him, "If you're doing something to risk the progress of your recovery-"  
  
"It's nothing like that, Solas." She cut him off, "Cole and I decided to make our relationship official. A maid walked in on him kissing me. Nothing else happened." She replied quickly and quietly before his lecturing could cause any unwanted attention. Never mind that they've kissed before in a much more physical and intimate fashion, the Emerald Graves came to mind but that was something Solas really didn't need to know. That was their moment.   
  
"Oh." Was his eloquent reply, making her smile before turning her attention to Varric again.   
  
"I won't ask how you did it," She started, referring to his involvement with the maid, "but thank you. With everything going on I'm happy with not many people knowing. Of course, I'll have to inform the other advisors and Christopher. That'll be fun." Her last sentence ended on a sarcastic note and Varric couldn't blame her. Knowing Cole, there was a good chance that she already knew who made a big enough fuss that Sera, of all people, was in charge of taking care of the more intimate duties concerning Ginger during the past week. Sometimes he wondered if Curly thought things through before he opened his mouth.   
  
"You don't need to explain yourself, Ginger. Anyone with a working pair of eyes and a brain can see how much you two care about each other and if anyone deserves to be happy it's you. You've given so much of yourself to the Inquisition and all of us." As Varric spoke he was glad that she continued to grab things from the platter despite her earlier protests about eating so much.   
  
"Thank you." It wasn't just his well wishes she had to thank him for. Solas as well. "You both saved my life. From what I hear you guys were pretty badass at it too." They didn't bother denying it.   
  
"You know others helped too, Da'len. Cullen, Blackwall, the healers. We only played a part." It was only fair that the others be mentioned as well. There was no need to mention Cole, she was more than aware of his involvement. There didn't seem to be much about him that she didn't already know.   
  
"And when I see them I'll thank them but they weren't the ones to take a dagger to my back and cut out almost two dozen red lyrium shards or make sure I healed so well. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you two. When I'm better if there is anything I can do for you guys to show my appreciation please let me know." Varric stared at her. Not sure if he'd heard her correctly. It wasn't often she made it a point to clarify that she owed a debt - not that he felt she owed him anything - because she usually made up for favors done in her own way whether it be a nice dinner, an expensive bottle of wine, new quills, or even upgrades for Bianca. There was nothing he wanted from her; she was his friend. Granted, the added influence, information, protection she gave him, and entertainment were nice but Varric didn't need any of it. He was simply happy having her in his life. Although, he thought, there was one thing she could do for him and he almost felt bad for using such a situation to acquire what he wanted.  _Almost._  
  
"Da'len, that isn't necessary. You're alive. Safe. That's enough." Solas began, as proper as always. Raven smiled in response while already thinking of what new armor, staff, or plethora of information she could give him.   
  
"Actually, Ginger, I have something in mind. Let me write you into a story." Varric could tell she wasn't expecting that type of request. Neither was Chuckles if their faces were any indication. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth, probably to say something but closed it at the last moment, "A romance." He'd been all but begging her for months about it and finally had his chance. Was it wrong to achieve his goal in such a way? Probably.   
  
"Varric!" Solas scolded, "You can't ask of such a thing."   
  
"A romance about me? No one would read it." She fired back and Varric only smirked. Solas' reprimand went ignored.   
  
"You think so, Ginger?" He loved debating with her.   
  
"Swords and Shields." Was her immediate reply and even Solas had to laugh for she did have a point, "You, yourself, admit that it's your worst piece of work which also happens to focus on a certain strong-willed redhead -"  
  
"Is it really necessary to tease him?" Solas cut her off with a laugh.   
  
"I think it's very necessary. The poor man won't learn otherwise." She countered with a touch of fake sympathy toward the end.   
  
"Ginger, you don't give yourself enough credit. A beautiful, mysterious young woman appears out of nowhere, is taken as a prisoner, and through her knowledge and fighting skills earns her position as Advisor where she fights alongside the Inquisitor, himself, and falls in love with a sweet, young rogue, while even becoming the object of love and desire for the Inquisitions' Commander. You've been busy." He finally finished and wasn't surprised when she rolled her eyes while doing her best to hide the smile appearing on her pretty face.  
  
"That's just sad. Clearly I'm going to have to help you. I also want my name changed. Do that and you can write whatever the hell you want." Clearly he was doomed to be struck stupid more than once. Had she actually agreed to let him use her, in a romance no less? As he opened his mouth to speak he saw Curly enter the main hall, visibly falter upon seeing her seated so comfortably in her usual chair, then slowly make his way toward the table. He looked nervous, something Varric found great amusement in. Between the incident in the infirmary and how he'd been regarding Cole with Ginger's recovery the Commander wasn't on the top of Varric's favorites list. He wasn't even in the top thirty.   
  
"Hello Cullen." Raven surprised the man by greeting him before even turning around to see who it was coming up behind her, "Having a good day so far?" Was it the armor, Varric wondered. It had to be. He could also tell that her greeting was simply a formality because despite her pleasant tone she didn't look overly happy, even when she turned to face him.   
  
"I... can't complain." He answered after a moment, hand going to the back of his neck giving away that he was nervous, "I heard you were awake but wasn't expecting you to be out of bed so soon. We, meaning Josephine, Leliana, and I were going to see you once the council meeting was over."  
  
She was only half listening, thinking about all the ways and languages she could use to call him a stupid bastard but he caught her attention by mentioning the council meeting. She was still an advisor and it would be easier telling all of them at once about her new relationship with Cole than one at a time. Cole had insisted she tell them for one reason or another, "When is the meeting?"   
  
"Fifteen minutes. Of course, we would love for you to be there but your rest is more important. The Inquisitor just wanted to go over the events in the Emerald Graves now that we know you're safe and on the mend." As he spoke he watched her grab one of the smaller silver plates next to the large platter she was ignoring before and pile it with cheese, crackers, small pieces of turkey, and grapes. When she was satisfied with the rather large amount of food she put it all on the large tea tray. Surely she wasn't...  
  
"I was in the Emerald Graves too, Cullen." She replied, holding back a groan as she unfolded her legs, stiff from remaining in the same position, and slowly stood. He could only watch as she bid goodbye to Solas and Varric, grabbed her tray of tea and snacks, and made her way to the door leading to the War Room. With a shrug Cullen followed her, noticing the way her bare feet peeked out from the pant legs of her, rather loose, breeches. The way they hung low on her hips nearly made him groan.  
  
"Don't you want to grab some shoes first?"   
  
"No. Stop asking stupid questions."

  
  
The silence was maddening as he stood against the stone wall across the room from Raven. She was seated in her usual chair, it was astounding how she had so many of those, at the war table barely visible among the large stacks of missives, Inquisition reports and missions they had already done and still had yet to do. She had been alternating between sipping her tea and munching on food she took from Varric's large platter since they'd arrived to find the room empty. He wanted to talk to her, to say anything but every time he opened his mouth to speak nothing came out. Since when did she become so intimidating? Was she intimidating or was he simply being a coward? It wasn't as if she was capable of much in her current state; she still looked exhausted, her skin was paler than usual, and she'd lost weight since the incident. She was still beautiful, tragically so given all she'd been through and he would tell her that if she'd let him. The echo of footsteps caught their attention but neither moved when the door opened to reveal Josephine in her pretty golden ruffles, Leliana, the Inquisitor, and Cassandra. None noticed Raven, something the small ginger girl found comical.   
  
"Commander," Josephine greeted, "I hope your morning is going well." As appropriate as always, Raven mused as she continued to watch them all in silence, slowly chewing and swallowing the piece of cheese that was in her mouth before putting her elbows up onto the war table and placing her chin in her hands. Would Cullen say anything about her being there, she wondered. From what she heard he'd been saying crap all week, mostly about the lack of decency and respect Cole had for her while she'd been sick and that there was no possible way something intimate could happen between them. It pissed her off.   
  
"I've certainly had worse, Ambassador. And yourself?" What was up with such formality? Normally what was reserved for arguments and in front of diplomatic guests. Never in the war room.   
  
"Yes. As you're aware Raven woke last night. Am I correct in assuming we still have plans to see her after we're done here?" She was polite but Raven could tell there was something going on. She showed much more disinterest towards the man than she was used to seeing. Did he piss her off too?  
  
"I'm surprised you haven't gone to see her yet, Cullen." Leliana was more polite than her friend. Cullen didn't glance over to where she still sat nearly hidden amongst the paperwork, to his credit, and instead just simply smiled.   
  
"I did see her. I asked I'd she wanted shoes and she told me to stop asking stupid questions." Christopher laughed while Cassandra let out a small chuckle. They were a really cute couple, Raven thought to herself as she reached down for another piece of food, whether it was a grape or cheese, only to find her plate empty. Damnit.   
  
"What was she doing that would require shoes?" Josephine asked, clearly confused, "Surely she's not out of bed yet."  
  
"I was walking to the war room, Josie. Clearly Cullen isn't familiar with my ways by now." She piped up with a smile while slowly standing, catching everyone except Cullen and Leliana off guard, "Sorry."   
  
"You don't need to apologize. How are you feeling?" Christopher asked, calm as ever. Of course he'd be calm, he saw her last night. The same couldn't be said for Josephine who allowed herself a moment to forget propriety and rushed over to engulf Raven in a tight hug. It hurt. It hurt a lot but for Josie's sake Raven bit back any signs of pain or discomfort and returned the hug, touched at the kind gesture. Thankfully Leliana was more mindful.   
  
"I'm alright. Sore and a little tired but it's nice being out of my room." She replied honestly once she was able to breathe, "I was with Varric and Solas when Cullen came into the main hall talking about the council meeting. I hope it's okay that I'm here? I'm still an advisor, after all." She didn't know why she felt the need to defend herself. Perhaps it was the state of vulnerability she'd been in for the last week.  
  
"Of course, Raven. You're always welcome." Josie spoke with a smile, which she returned before addressing Christopher.   
  
"So what happened in the Emerald Graves after Solas and Cole brought me back to Skyhold?" She asked, back down to business. It was obvious that most of it wasn't done, just the necessary things. According to Cole they returned only two days after he and Solas arrived with her; enough for Fairbanks but not much else.   
  
"With your help and advice we did help Fairbanks, the smugglers were taken care of by you before your injury, and we also closed some more fade rifts. In all honesty once we helped Fairbanks we packed our horses and rode for here. Your health is more important." The way he said it was truly touching and Raven wasn't sure how to respond to such a comment. She knew her friends cared about her and that she played an important role in the Inquisition but talking about her own importance specifically made her uncomfortable.   
  
"Thank you, Christopher. There's still so much to do. Were you planning on returning anytime soon?" It was clear that she preferred to talk of more important things, "The fade rifts are the most important situation now. So are the Elven ruins."

"Both will be taken care of. You mentioned a haunted mansion as well, didn't you?"

"I mentioned a lot of things," She said with a chuckle, "Elven ruins, rifts, the haunted mansion, bears, giants, a dragon. Something fun for everyone." Raven couldn't hold back the sarcastic enthusiasm in her voice.  
  
"Is it all necessary though?" Cassandra asked and Raven just shrugged.   
  
"The rifts are. The rest depends on what you feel is necessary. Influence and experience are always important no matter how you look at it. The ruins hold a scroll you can either give to the Dalish clan in the Exalted Plains or the Chantry in Val Roueaux. Again, the more power we have the more allies and influence we have as well." She didn't need to go into detail but felt it necessary to stress the need when it came to Cassandra. It didn't help that she was a completionist, having sensed their annoyance at her insistence at things presumed meaningless in the past. That didn't happen so often anymore though.   
  
"Raven's right. This is a crucial time for the Inquisition." Leliana came to her defense.   
  
"I doubt I'll be allowed to join you for a while, Christopher. At least until I heal, but I'll help in whatever way I can." Raven offered, knowing that she'll most likely be up late writing for the next few days but she didn't mind. It gave her something to do and made her feel like she was contributing. Cullen's sharp laugh caught her off guard and brought her attention over to him.   
  
"You're correct on that one. You won't be going anywhere for a while." What the hell...?  
  
"That isn't your call to make, Cullen. It's the Inquisitors." Josephine shot back, disdain laced in her polite tone, before Raven could say anything.   
  
"And mine." Raven felt the need to add while standing from her chair, ignoring the pain she felt in her limbs, "While we're on the topic of you thinking you have any say in what goes on concerning me; I don't know where you got this stupid ass idea that you somehow have any ounce of that kind of power but it stops. Now." It was clear to everyone that she was upset and whether it was because they, too, felt that she had every reason to be upset or were scared of the knowledge and damage her silver tongue could do no one cut in on Cullen's behalf.  
  
"I do..." Cullen stuttered, clearly unsure of what to say, "I've always had nothing but your-"  
  
"Shut up. From what I hear you've talked and bitched enough this week about what is best for me. Now that I'm awake it's my turn. First actually having Sera take care of me instead of Cole, not to mention the comments you made about him, and now this? No." He glared at her but she kept her ground. She'd faced great bears, demons, mages, Templars, diplomats, and her father on a bad day. Cullen was nothing compared to them. Sure, she was physically weaker at the moment and extremely sore but give her a shot of whiskey and her daggers and she'd still gladly and successfully kick his ass.   
  
"That boy has no reason to change and bathe you alone while you aren't awake. It's indecent, improper, and I was protecting your virtue!" His voice was raised by the end of his little rant and Raven wanted nothing more in that moment than to throw her plate at him. With such a short distance between them there wasn't a doubt in her mind that she'd miss.   
  
"That's bullshit and you know it! In the time Cole has been here with us not once has he done something unwanted towards me. You, on the other hand, have. Stop hiding behind this propriety nonsense, be a fucking man, and at least admit it to yourself that you just didn't want him near me in such a state because you know the depth of my feelings for him."   
  
"Raven -" It was Josephine that spoke. She didn't get far.   
  
"I love him," She continued, "and he loves me. There is no one else in this world that I trust with my life, body, and soul more than him because I know that no matter what happens he will protect me in whatever way he can." The room was silent, the only sound that remained were Raven's words echoing off the cold stone walls. That wasn't how she wanted to break the news to Christopher, Cassandra, and the advisors but Cullen had made her so angry with his excuses, his nonsense, and his refusal to give up the idea that she'll ever return his feelings. Maybe he thought he was doing the right thing but jealousy had been that motive and she wasn't stupid enough to dismiss it.  
  
"So you and Cole are... together?" It was Josephine who broke the silence. Slowly, Raven turned her attention away from a very shocked Commander to everyone else in the room. When her eyes locked with Josie's she sighed and nodded.   
  
"This isn't how I wanted to break the news but yes. It was going to happen sooner or later but me being sick kind of got in the way." She smiled. She couldn't help it. Much to her surprise she was met with smiles from Josephine, Leliana, and Christopher. Cassandra merely gave a small smirk and Cullen continued to stand there, heart in his throat and guts on the floor as he stared at her. She looked so happy compared to only a few moments ago. He wanted to say something, anything, but what could he possibly say that wouldn't just upset her even more? She was right earlier - even though he refused to admit it in front of the others or even her. The closeness of the two bothered him even before he was aware of any relationship between them. Cullen watched in silence as Josephine came forward and hugged her more gently than before while a Leliana offered advice if ever and whenever she needed it, to which Raven politely declined and requested they keep the information to themselves for the time being. He listened to her explain that she wanted to take the time to heal and enjoy her new relationship with Cole alone before having to answer to others. 

  
  
"Cullen? Cullen." He looked around, noticing the room was empty except for Raven and himself. She was still standing but had moved from her place behind the war table with the tea tray in hand.   
  
"Yes Raven?" He cleared his threat before speaking.   
  
"I'm sorry I was a little brutal back there. You're my friend and I care about you but you need to realize that's all we will ever be." She was kinder in her words the second time around. It didn't make things any better.  
  
"I can't help feeling what I feel for you, Raven. I've tried. Maker knows I've tried but they just won't go away. Even from the very beginning when you called me an ass. No, I know you don't feel the same way but I still hope it will happen someday." Why did he have to look like a kicked puppy, she wondered.  
  
"Then why did you make such a big deal about Cole and the part he played in my recovery this past week?" It was a simple question, one they both knew the answer to but Cullen couldn't say out loud. Jealousy, hope that things would change, anger about how body seemed to crave the young rogue even in her sleep, "You know it's him, Cullen. Maybe not from the beginning but I can't deny how I feel for him anymore than you can deny what you feel for me."  
  
"Why him though? If you would've allowed me to I would've been there for you, loved you, and given you everything that is in my power to give." He needed her to know since they would probably never have such a discussion again. "Is it because of what I've done and what I'm doing now?" He almost felt foolish for asking. Her knowledge of them was something they never talked about and Raven usually kept her knowledge to herself unless it was something that specifically pertained to the outcome of the Inquisition but she knew him, the Inquisitor, everyone. As much as he didn't want to Cullen felt like an ass when her mouth opened and her eyes widened in surprise. Clearly she wasn't expecting him to ask such a thing.  
  
"At first I wasn't sure how to interact with you because of those choices. I definitely wasn't a fan of you, that's for sure." She admitted slowly, " But while I disapproved of the choices you made in the past I understood them. You were tortured at the Ferelden Circle and you wouldn't be the first to be so distrusting of something that's hurt you so much. I sympathized with you then, but not enough to where I could be okay with your actions in Kirkwall; turning a blind eye to the obvious torture and treatment Meredith and your Templar brothers inflicted on those mages, I'm not saying blood magic was the answer but we both know that feeling of being trapped and desperate to get out. I respect you for your choices in the end, though. And the ones you're making now."  
  
There was so much he wanted to say to her but couldn't because she knew. She didn't approve of his actions but being able to understand them was more than he'd ever received from anyone else. She looked past him and his mistakes because that was her, who she was. He wanted to be angry with her but he couldn't, "And now that you know me? After we've sparred, talked over dinner, played chess - "  
  
"After you've nearly seen me naked." She cut him off with a smirk that made his cheeks burn. Of course she wouldn't forget that or allow him to forget, not that he wanted to. She was lovely and the way she smiled and seemed so calm in that moment nearly floored him, "You're a good man, Cullen. Such a good man despite being a ponce at times. I care and respect the hell out of you as a friend, fighter, and Commander but friendship is all I can and will give you."  
  
"I understand. Thank you - for not holding my past against me. I truly don't know how I would feel if you, of all people, did."  
  
"You're my friend, Cullen. I wouldn't do that." She said because she wasn't sure what else to say. She never expected to have a conversation with him or anyone like the one she was having at that moment. Her guard was still up too; she'd expected more yelling and hurtful words to be thrown in defense like all their arguments before. That he was being so calm and accepting confused her more than she was willing to admit.   
  
"I know that." Was his reply and she could see he wanted to move, to be closer to her, but forced himself to stay still in the position he'd been in since the council meeting. That couldn't have been comfortable, Raven thought and shifted out of reflex, "Please remember that if anyone hurts you or you need anything I'll be here."

 

 _Fevered kisses, soft but demanding, made their intention known. He wanted her. He wanted to hold her tight, caress her soft skin, taste every part of her, and make those soft whimpers coming from her mouth even louder. She wanted it too. Wanted him. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to run her fingers through his long blond hair and down the smooth skin of his bare back but one of his large hands had both of hers pinned together above her head against the soft mattress. The other hand was much more cruel, first gently grasping her neck as the kiss began but as things became more heated and intense between them his hand wandered down to her breasts that were only confined by the loose shirt she wore, his fingers caressed her hardened nipples through the thin material, then slowly made its way down to her side to trace the part of tattoo he could see, and finally her stomach. He pulled away to peer down at her in the dim light and it took her a moment to realize that he wasn't moving even though she wanted him to. Opening her eyes Raven stared up at him, heart racing and cheeks flushed. He looked so good; the way he straddled her waist and looked down at her, hair falling over curious eyes. Unlike her his shirt had been discarded long ago and where he still wore pants she had on none._  
  
_"So beautiful." He whispered, almost like a prayer, and she knew he was telling the truth because she felt beautiful in that moment lying under him with his unwavering gaze on her. She tried moving her legs, anything to help ease the throbbing she felt between them that he'd created with his kissing and touching but all that did was make it worse. Why couldn't he touch her where she needed it most?_  
  
_"Cole," She moaned as he let go of her hands and used both of his to run across the bare skin of her sides, "Please. I need -" He moved down her body till his knees came to level with her feet. Part of her wanted to cover herself and how aroused she was but he wouldn't allow it. All she could do was look down at him from her own position on the bed._  
  
_"I can feel how much you need me." He said quietly and her eyes widened for a moment in amazement as he slowly moved forward again, allowing his hand to trail up the smooth pale bare skin of her leg while the other helped brace himself against the mattress. 'Need' almost seemed to be the wrong word but it was the only thing that came close. She was hot, restless, and desperate for him to touch her in any way he could and she didn't think he seemed to mind because it looked like he wanted it too. He was hard and she could see the outline of his erection straining against his breeches but he made no move to do anything about it. When his hand came closer to the small place between her thighs she opened her legs wider for him, slowly at first and then all the way. "You like when I touch you, how good my hands and mouth feel on your warm skin. Burning, desperate, ready to plead. I wouldn't mind hearing those pleas from you, begging me to touch you. To let you touch me. you want more. You want..." She arched her back and cried out as his thumb finally came into contact with the soft, damp material covering her core, stroking back and forth and already bringing her to the edge. "You want me here. All of me."_

Raven woke with a jolt, half dazed and too warm even in the cold of the Frostback Mountains. The throbbing between her legs caused her to utter a curse and she struggled with her blankets to get out of bed, thankfully managing not to fall onto the hard wooden floor. She was alone. Of course she was alone; Cole had been gone for two weeks along with Christopher, Cassandra, Bull, and Dorian. Solas insisted on staying at Skyhold for the simple reason that if anything were to go wrong with her he could help. She'd been ordered to take it easy meaning that she was required to do the bare minimum in training and sparring so in her spare time she worked through catching up on the information her connections in nobility and agents throughout Thedas sent to her. Other times she was with Solas, Varric, or even Vivienne. Despite needing to be easy in her actions for a while she ran along the battlements every morning, even more when she had those dreams involving Cole which seemed to happen whenever she slept. Sleeping less was one of the side effects of the red lyrium; she didn't need to rest so often. She also ate more but the weight gain was hardly there, and she was significantly quicker and stronger in what little combat she'd been allowed, and her senses were somehow enhanced which she knew would prove useful when she was allowed to leave Skyhold again. 

Finally free from the confines of her blanket but still warm and restless from the dream she'd had Raven scrambled around her dimly lit room to grab a pair of underwear, thicker pants made from cotton, binding for her chest, and a loose tunic. Her shoes and sweatshirt were last. When she first started running she made the mistake of attempting to run barefoot, finding that the extra cold helped clear her head, but after some scolding from Varric, Cullen, Solas, and Josephine she wore light shoes made from crushed ring velvet and nugskin. They were much softer on her feet and easier to run in than her boots. It was earlier than Raven anticipated when she finally left her room, closing the door behind her. After a couple stretches she started to run.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I'm not even going to make excuses. I totally forgot about this story. I actually got so burnt out playing and replaying Dragon Age that I took a break from the entire fandom. Finally experienced Mass Effect... and had my heart ripped out of my chest on multiple levels and ugly cried more times than I'm willing to admit. I can't promise weekly updates or even monthly ones but I can promise that I will do my best. Hopefully that little bit at the end helped?


End file.
